 is I think you want to say okay so how do we relate to one another going forward because my temptation will be every time we get together will be to talk to you about this and your temptation will be to want to avoid talking about it at all because you'll see it as me just trying to pull you back and I'll see it as you just trying to avoid so let's set some ground rules I'll let you set the ground rules when can we have conversations about this once every six months