 was kind of on this active pursuit of fulfillment. Like I was seeking something and I wasn't finding it in the outside world, but I kept going there for it. And I rebelled a little bit. I, you know, if the things that my parents were telling me were true, I think I wanted to find those things out for myself. I didn't want to just take anybody's word for it. And so I felt very constrained kind of by this,