large/1823/stage_land_0803_librivox_64kb_mp3/stageland_01_jerome_64kb_48
large/1823/stage_land_0803_librivox_64kb_mp3/stageland_01_jerome_64kb
English
1823
These are a few of the more salient features of stage "law" so far as we have been able to grasp it up to the present; but as fresh acts and clauses and modifications appear to be introduced for each new play, we have abandoned all hope of ever being able to really comprehend the subject. THERE ARE A FEW MORE SALIENT FEATURES OF STAGE LAW SO FAR AS WE HAVE BEEN ABLE TO GRASP IT UP TO THE PRESENT MOMENT BUT AS FRESH ACTS AND CLAUSES MODIFICATIONS APPEAR TO BE INTRODUCED FOR EACH NEW PLAY WE HAVE ABANDONED ALL HOPE OF EVER BEING ABLE TO GET TO REALLY COMPREHEND THE SUBJECT
 But if a man dies and leaves a will, then all his property goes to whoever can get possession of that will. That the accidental loss of the three-and-sixpenny copy of a marriage certificate annuls the marriage. That the evidence of one prejudiced witness of shady antecedents is quite sufficient to convict the most stainless and irreproachable gentleman of crimes for the committal of which he could have had no possible motive. But that this evidence may be rebutted years afterward, and the conviction quashed without further trial by the unsupported statement of the comic man. That if A forges B's name to a check, then the law of the land is that B shall be sentenced to ten years' penal servitude. That ten minutes' notice is all that is required to foreclose a mortgage. That all trials of criminal cases take place in the front parlor of the victim's house, the villain acting as counsel, judge, and jury rolled into one, and a couple of policemen being told off to follow his instructions. AREST VILLAIN BUT IF A MAN DIES AND LEAVES A WILL THEN ALL HIS PROPERTY GOES TO WHOEVER CAN GET POSSESSION OF THAT WILL THAT THE ACCIDENTAL LOSS OF THREE AND A SIXPENNY COPY OF A MARRIAGE CERTIFICATE ANNULS THE MARRIAGE THAT THE EVIDENCE OF ONE PREJUDICE WITNESS OF SHADY ANTECEDENTS IS QUITE SUFFICIENT TO CONVICT THE MOST STAINLESS AND IRREPROACHABLE GENTLEMAN OF CRIMES FOR WHICH THE COMMITTAL OF WHICH HE COULD HAVE HAD NO POSSIBLE MOTIVE BUT THAT THIS EVIDENCE MAY BE REBUTTED YEARS AFTERWARDS AND THE CONVICTION QUASHED WITHOUT FURTHER TRIAL BY THE UNSUBORDINATE STATEMENT OF THE COMIC MAN THAT IF A FORGES B TO A CHECK THEN THE LAW OF THE LAND IS THAT B SHALL BE SENTENCED TO TEN YEARS PENAL SERVITUDE THAT TEN MINUTES NOTICE IS ALL THAT IS REQUIRED TO FORECLOSE ON A MORTGAGE THAT ALL TRIALS OF CRIMINAL CASES TAKE PLACE IN THE FRONT PARLOUR OF THE VICTIM'S HOUSE THE VILLAIN ACTING AS COUNSEL JUDGE AND JURY ROLLED INTO ONE AND A COUPLE OF POLICEMEN BEING TOLD OFF TO FOLLOW HIS INSTRUCTIONS
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