large/1823/stage_land_0803_librivox_64kb_mp3/stageland_07_jerome_64kb_6
large/1823/stage_land_0803_librivox_64kb_mp3/stageland_07_jerome_64kb
English
1823
We put on the customary expression of comic imbecility and beckoned the girl to us. We have never seen this fail on the stage. But this girl seemed made wrong. She got behind the sofa and screamed "Help!" WE PUT ON THE CUSTOMARY EXPRESSION OF COMIC IMBECILITY AND BECKONED THE GIRL TO US WE HAD NEVER SEEN THIS FAIL ON THE STAGE BUT THIS GIRL SEEMED MADE WRONG SHE GOT BEHIND THE SOFA AND SCREAMED HELP
ness on. She wasn't quite so dazzlingly beautiful as they are on the stage, but we passed that. She showed us up into the drawing-room, and then said she would go and tell her mistress we were there. We felt this was the time to begin. We skipped between her and the door. We held our hat in front of us, cocked our head on one side, and said: "Don't go! don't go!" The girl seemed alarmed. We began to get a little nervous ourselves, but we had begun it and we meant to go through with it. We said, "Do you know, Jane" (her name wasn't Jane, but that wasn't our fault), "do you know, Jane, I think you're an uncommonly nice girl," and we said "click," and dug her in the ribs with our elbow, and then chucked her under the chin. The whole thing seemed to fall flat. There was nobody there to laugh or applaud. We wished we hadn't done it. It seemed stupid when you came to think of it. We began to feel frightened. The business wasn't going as we expected; but we screwed up our courage and went on.  CERTAIN FRIEND'S HOUSE WE TRIED THIS BUSINESS ON SHE WASN'T QUITE SO DAZZLINGLY BEAUTIFUL AS THEY ARE ON THE STAGE BUT WE PASSED THAT SHE SHOWED US INTO THE DRAWING ROOM AND THEN SAID WE SHOULD GO AND TELL THE MISTRESS WE WERE THERE WE FELT THIS WAS THE TIME TO BEGIN WE SKIPPED BETWEEN HER AND THE DOOR WE HELD OUT OUR HAT IN FRONT OF US COCKED HER HEAD TO ONE SIDE AND SAID DON'T GO DON'T GO WE ALL SEEMED ALARMED WE BEGAN TO GET A LITTLE NERVOUS OURSELVES BUT WE HAD BEGUN IT AND WE MEANT TO GO THROUGH WITH IT WE SAID DO YOU KNOW JANE HER NAME WASN'T JANE BUT THAT WASN'T OUR FAULT DO YOU KNOW JANE I THINK YOU ARE UNCOMMONLY NICE GIRL AND WE SAID CLICK AND DUG HER IN THE RIBS WITH OUR ELBOW AND THEN CHUCKED HER UNDER THE CHIN THE WHOLE THING SEEMED TO FALL FLAT THERE WAS NOBODY THERE TO LAUGH OR APPLAUD WE WISHED WE HADN'T DONE IT IT SEEMED STUPID WHEN YOU CAME TO THINK OF IT WE BEGAN TO FEEL FRIGHTENED THE BUSINESS WASN'T GOING AS WE EXPECTED BUT WE SCREWED UP OUR COURAGE AND WE WENT ON
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