large/1823/stage_land_0803_librivox_64kb_mp3/stageland_01_jerome_64kb_44
large/1823/stage_land_0803_librivox_64kb_mp3/stageland_01_jerome_64kb
English
1823
The simple minded hero signs mortgages, bills of sale, deeds of gift, and such like things, under the impression that he is playing some sort of a round game; and then when he cannot pay the interest they take his wife and children away from him and turn him adrift into the world. Being thrown upon his own resources, he naturally starves. THE SIMPLE MINDED HERO SIGNS MORTGAGES BILLS OF SALE DEEDS OF GIFT AND SUCH THINGS UNDER THE IMPRESSION THAT HE IS PLAYING SOME SORT OF ROUND GAME AND THEN HE CANNOT PLAY THE INTEREST AND THEY TAKE HIS WIFE AND CHILDREN AWAY FROM HIM AND TURN HIM ADRIFT INTO THE WORLD BEING THROWN UPON HIS OWN RESOURCES HE NATURALLY STARVES
 without further trial by the unsupported statement of the comic man. That if A forges B's name to a check, then the law of the land is that B shall be sentenced to ten years' penal servitude. That ten minutes' notice is all that is required to foreclose a mortgage. That all trials of criminal cases take place in the front parlor of the victim's house, the villain acting as counsel, judge, and jury rolled into one, and a couple of policemen being told off to follow his instructions. These are a few of the more salient features of stage "law" so far as we have been able to grasp it up to the present; but as fresh acts and clauses and modifications appear to be introduced for each new play, we have abandoned all hope of ever being able to really comprehend the subject. To return to our hero, the state of the law, as above sketched, naturally confuses him, and the villain, who is the only human being who does seem to understand stage legal questions, is easily able to fleece and ruin him. HE CONVICTION QUASHED WITHOUT FURTHER TRIAL BY THE UNSUBORDINATE STATEMENT OF THE COMIC MAN THAT IF A FORGES B TO A CHECK THEN THE LAW OF THE LAND IS THAT B SHALL BE SENTENCED TO TEN YEARS PENAL SERVITUDE THAT TEN MINUTES NOTICE IS ALL THAT IS REQUIRED TO FORECLOSE ON A MORTGAGE THAT ALL TRIALS OF CRIMINAL CASES TAKE PLACE IN THE FRONT PARLOUR OF THE VICTIM'S HOUSE THE VILLAIN ACTING AS COUNSEL JUDGE AND JURY ROLLED INTO ONE AND A COUPLE OF POLICEMEN BEING TOLD OFF TO FOLLOW HIS INSTRUCTIONS THERE ARE A FEW MORE SALIENT FEATURES OF STAGE LAW SO FAR AS WE HAVE BEEN ABLE TO GRASP IT UP TO THE PRESENT MOMENT BUT AS FRESH ACTS AND CLAUSES MODIFICATIONS APPEAR TO BE INTRODUCED FOR EACH NEW PLAY WE HAVE ABANDONED ALL HOPE OF EVER BEING ABLE TO GET TO REALLY COMPREHEND THE SUBJECT TO RETURN TO OUR HERO THE STATE OF THE LAW AS ABOVE SKETCHED NATURALLY CONFUSES HIM AND THE VILLAIN WHO IS THE ONLY HUMAN BEING WHO DOES SEEM TO UNDERSTAND STAGE LEGAL QUESTIONS IS EASILY ABLE TO FLEECE AND RUIN HIM
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