large/6636/uncle_josh_punkin_centre_1112_librivox_64kb_mp3/unclejoshspunkincentrestories_31_stewart_64kb_1
large/6636/uncle_josh_punkin_centre_1112_librivox_64kb_mp3/unclejoshspunkincentrestories_31_stewart_64kb
English
6636
Notoriety  A next door neighbor to glory, but another way of gittin' it.  Punkin Centre Philosophy. NOTORIETY A NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOR TO GLORY BUT ANOTHER WAY OF GETTIN IT PUNKIN CENTRE PHILOSOPHY
red and fifty punctures in a hedge fence, and skeered a hoss and buggy clar off the highway. I done more different kinds of tumblin' than any cirkus performer I ever seen in my life, and I made more revolutions in a fifteen-foot circle than any buzz-saw that ever wuz invented. Wall, I lost the lamp, I lost the clamp, I lost my patience, I lost my temper, I lost my self-respect, my last suspender button and my standin' in the community. I broke the handle bars, I broke the sprockets, I broke the ten commandments, I broke my New Year's pledge and the law agin loud and abusive language, and Jim Lawson got so excited he run his wooden leg through a knot-hole in the porch and couldn't git it out agin. Wall, I'm through with it; once is enough fer me. You kin all ride your durned old bisickles that want to, but fer my part I'd jist as soon stand up and walk as to sit down and walk. No more bisickles fer your Uncle Josh, not if he knows it, and your Uncle Josh sort of calculates as how he do. ROUGH THE SPOKES AND PUT A HUNDRED AND FIFTY PUNCTURES IN A HEDGED FENCE AND SKEERED A HORSE AND BUGGY CLEAR OFF THE HIGHWAY I DONE MORE DIFFERENT KINDS OF TUMBLING THAN ANY CIRCUS PERFORMER I EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE AND I MADE MORE REVOLUTIONS IN A FIFTEEN FOOT CIRCLE THAN ANY BUZZ SAW THAT WAS EVER INVENTED WELL I LOST THE LAMP I LOST THE CLAMP I LOST MY PATIENCE I LOST MY TEMPER I LOST MY SELF RESPECT MY LAST SUSPENDER BUTTON AND MY STANDIN IN THE COMMUNITY I BROKE THE HANDLEBARS I BROKE THE SPRUCKITS I BROKE THE KIN COMMANDMENTS I BROKE MY NEW YEAR'S PLEDGE AND THE LAW AGAIN LOUD IN ABUSIVE LANGUAGE AND JIM LAWSON GOT SO EXCITED HE RUN HIS WOODEN LEG THROUGH A KNOT HOLE IN THE PORCH AND COULDN'T GET IT OUT AGAIN WELL I'M THROUGH WITH IT ONCE IS ENOUGH FOR ME YOU CAN ALL RIDE YOUR DURNED BICYCLES THAT WANT TO BUT FOR MY PART I JIST AS SOON STAND UP AND WALK AS TO SIT DOWN AND WALK NO MORE BICYCLES FOR YOUR UNCLE JOSH NOT IF HE KNOWS IT AND YOUR UNCLE JOSH SORT O CALCULATES AS HOW HE DO
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