large/6636/uncle_josh_punkin_centre_1112_librivox_64kb_mp3/unclejoshspunkincentrestories_32_stewart_64kb_9
large/6636/uncle_josh_punkin_centre_1112_librivox_64kb_mp3/unclejoshspunkincentrestories_32_stewart_64kb
English
6636
Wall, I wouldn't have bin down thar in the fust place, or the second place, fer that matter, if it hadn't bin fer old Jim Lawson. You see, Jim he's a peculiar old critter. He's got one eye out; lost it lookin' fer a pension, I believe. WELL I WOULDN'T A BEEN DOWN THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE OR THE SECOND PLACE FOR THAT MATTER IF IT HADN'T A BEEN FOR OLD JIM LAWSON YOU SEE JIM HE'S A PECULIAR OLD CRITTER HE'S GOT ONE EYE OUT LOST IT LOOKIN FOR A PENSION I BELIEVE
', and before the preachin' we had Sunday school. Wall now, some of them questions and answers in that Sunday school jist made me snicker right out loud. You see, old Deacon Witherspoon wuz a-teachin' the Sunday school class, and he sed, "Now let me see what little boy can tell me who slew the Philistines and whar at?" Wall, no one sed anything fer about a minnit, then a little red-headed feller down at the foot of the class sed, "Commodore Dewey, at Manila." The Deacon sed, "No, Henry, it wasn't Commodore Dewey what slew the Philistines, it wuz Sampson." Another little feller sed, "No, Deacon, I think you've sort of got it mixed up; he wasn't there; Schley is the feller what done the job, at Santiague." The Deacon sed, "Now, boys, you've bin readin' too much about them war doin's in the papers. Now what little boy can tell me what is the first commandment?" And Ezra Hoskins' boy sed, "Remember the main." Gosh, I had to go right out of the meetin' house, whar I could have a good laugh. CHURCH AND BEFORE THE BAPTIZING WE HAD PREACHING AND BEFORE THE PREACHING WE HAD SUNDAY SCHOOL WELL NOW SOME OF THEM QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS IN THAT SUNDAY SCHOOL JUST MADE ME SNICKER RIGHT OUT LOUD YOU SEE OLD DEACON WETHERSPOON WAS A TEACH IN THE SUNDAY SCHOOL CLASS AND HE SAID NOW LET ME SEE WHAT LITTLE BOY CAN TELL ME WHO SLEW THE PHILISTINES AND WHEREAT WELL NO ONE SAID ANYTHING FOR ABOUT A MINUTE THEN A LITTLE RED HEADED FELLER DOWN AT THE FOOT OF THE CLASS SAID COMMODORE DOY AT MANILA THE DEACON SAID NO HENRY IT WASN'T COMMODORE DEWEY WHAT SLEW THE PHILISTINES IT WAS SAMSON ANOTHER LITTLE FELLER SAID NO DEACON I THINK YOU SORT O GOT IT MIXED UP HE WASN'T THIR SCHLEY IS THE FELLER WOT DONE THE JOB AT SANTIAGIE THE DEACON SAID NOW BOYS YOU BEN READIN TOO MUCH ABOUT THEM WAR DOIN'S IN THE PAPERS NOW WHAT LITTLE BOY KIN TELL ME WHAT IS THE FIRST COMMANDMENT AND EZRA HOSKINS BOY SAID REMEMBER THE MAIN HE HE GOSH I HAD TO GO RIGHT OUT OF THE MEETIN' HOUSE WHERE I COULD HAVE A GOOD LAUGH
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