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English
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There were times he heard this so plainly when he was with Beatrice that he had to leave her and walk for hours alone. Only unseen among the hills dare he give vent to the mad despair with which that memory tore him. THERE WERE TIMES HE HEARD THIS SO PLAINLY WHEN HE WAS WITH BEATRICE THAT HE HAD TO LEAVE HER AND WALK FOR HOURS ALONE ONLY UNSEEN AMONG THE HILLS DARE HE GIVE VENT TO THE MAD DESPAIR WITH WHICH THAT MEMORY TORE HIM
der in the wood with unbearable vividness. "Why, those are only words, silly Daddy!"—How many times a day did he not hear that quaint little voice making, with a child's profundity, that tremendous criticism upon literature. He had silenced her with the music of words, as he had silenced his own heart and soul with the same music, but they were still only words none the less. Ah! if she were only here to-day, he would bring her something more beautiful than words—or toadstools. He shuddered as he thought of the loathsome form his decaying fancy had taken, that morning by the Three Black Ponds. He had filled the small outstretched hands with Nature's filth and poison. She had asked for flowers, he had brought her toadstools. Oh, the shame, the crime, the anguish! But worst of all was to hear himself saying in the silence of his soul, over and over again without any power to still it, as one is forced sometimes to hear the beating of one's heart: "Silencieux, I bring you my little child.  LIVE OVER AGAIN THE SCENE WITH WONDER IN THE WOOD WITH UNBEARABLE VIVIDNESS WHY THOSE ARE ONLY WORDS SILLY DADDY HOW MANY TIMES A DAY DID HE NOT HEAR THAT QUAINT LITTLE VOICE MAKING WITH A CHILD'S PROFUNDITY THAT TREMENDOUS CRITICISM UPON LITERATURE HE HAD SILENCED HER WITH THE MUSIC OF WORDS AS HE HAD SILENCED HIS OWN HEART AND SOUL WITH THE SAME MUSIC BUT THEY WERE STILL ONLY WORDS NONE THE LESS AH IF SHE WERE ONLY HERE TO DAY HE WOULD BRING HER SOMETHING MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN WORDS OR TOADSTOOLS HE SHUDDERED AS HE THOUGHT OF THE LOATHSOME FORM HIS DECAYING FANCY HAD TAKEN THAT MORNING BY THE THREE BLACK PONDS HE HAD FILLED THE SMALL OUTSTRETCHED HANDS WITH NATURE'S FILP AND POISON SHE HAD ASKED FOR FLOWERS HE HAD BROUGHT HER TOADSTOOLS OH THE SHAME THE CRIME THE ANGUISH BUT WORST OF ALL WAS TO HEAR HIMSELF SAYING IN THE SILENCE OF HIS SOUL OVER AND OVER AGAIN WITHOUT ANY POWER TO STEAL IT AS ONE IS FORCED SOMETIMES TO HEAR THE BEATING OF ONE'S HEART SILAJO I BRING YOU MY LITTLE CHILD
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