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English
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Coming home, I ran against a literary friend of mine. He said: "You'll have a goodish time in the train old fellow. Are you used to long railway journeys?" I said: "Well, I've travelled down from London into the very heart of Surrey by a South Eastern express." COMING HOME I RAN AGAINST A LITERARY FRIEND OF MINE HE SAID YOU'LL HAVE A GOODISH TIME IN THE TRAIN OLD FELLOW ARE YOU USED TO LONG RAILWAY JOURNEYS I SAID WELL I'VE TRAVELLED DOWN FROM LONDON INTO THE VERY HEART OF SURREY BY A SOUTH EASTERN EXPRESS
f his had gone for a tour through Germany once, and had slept in a damp bed, and had caught rheumatic fever, and had come home and died. His wife joined us at this point. (He was waiting for her outside a draper's shop when I met him.) He explained to her that I was going to Germany, and she said: "Oh! take a pillow with you. They don't give you any pillows--not like our pillows--and it's _so_ wretched, you'll never get a decent night's rest if you don't take a pillow." She said: "You can have a little bag made for it, and it doesn't look anything." I met our doctor a few yards further on. He said: "Don't forget to take a bottle of brandy with you. It doesn't take up much room, and, if you're not used to German cooking, you'll find it handy in the night." He added that the brandy you get at foreign hotels was mere poison, and that it was really unsafe to travel abroad without a bottle of brandy. He said that a simple thing like a bottle of brandy in your bag might often save your life.  SHEETS HE SAID THAT A YOUNG FRIEND OF HIS HAD GONE FOR A TOUR THROUGH GERMANY ONCE AND HAD SLEPT IN A DAMP BED AND HAD CAUGHT RHEUMATIC FEVER AND HAD COME HOME AND DIED HIS WIFE JOINED US AT THIS POINT HE WAS WAITING FOR HER OUTSIDE A DRAPER'S SHOP WHEN I MET HIM HE EXPLAINED TO HER THAT I WAS GOING TO GERMANY AND SHE SAID OH TAKE A PILLOW WITH YOU THEY DON'T GIVE YOU ANY PILLOWS NOT LIKE OUR PILLOWS AND IT'S SO WRETCHED YOU'LL NEVER GET A DECENT NIGHT'S REST IF YOU DON'T TAKE A PILLOW SHE SAID YOU CAN HAVE A LITTLE BAG MADE FOR IT AND IT DOESN'T LOOK ANYTHING I MET OUR DOCTOR A FEW YARDS FURTHER ON HE SAID DON'T FORGET TO TAKE A BOTTLE OF BRANDY WITH YOU IT DOESN'T TAKE UP MUCH ROOM AND IF YOU'RE NOT USED TO GERMAN COOKING YOU'LL FIND IT HANDY IN THE NIGHT HE ADDED THAT THE BRANDY YOU GET AT FOREIGN HOTELS WAS MERE POISON AND THAT IT WAS REALLY UNSAFE TO TRAVEL ABROAD WITHOUT A BOTTLE OF BRANDY HE SAID THAT A SIMPLE THING LIKE A BOTTLE OF BRANDY IN YOUR BAG MIGHT OFTEN SAVE YOUR LIFE
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