large/3914/beast_in_jungle_1012_librivox_64kb_mp3/beastjungle_3_james_64kb_26
large/3914/beast_in_jungle_1012_librivox_64kb_mp3/beastjungle_3_james_64kb
English
3914
She had been living to see what would _be_ to be seen, and it would quite lacerate her to have to give up before the accomplishment of the vision. SHE HAD BEEN LIVING TO SEE WHAT WOULD BE TO BE SEEN AND WOULD QUITE LACERATE HER TO HAVE TO GIVE UP BEFORE THE ACCOMPLISHMENT OF THE VISION
 confessed to him her fear of a deep disorder in her blood, he felt somehow the shadow of a change and the chill of a shock. He immediately began to imagine aggravations and disasters, and above all to think of her peril as the direct menace for himself of personal privation. This indeed gave him one of those partial recoveries of equanimity that were agreeable to him--it showed him that what was still first in his mind was the loss she herself might suffer. "What if she should have to die before knowing, before seeing--?" It would have been brutal, in the early stages of her trouble, to put that question to her; but it had immediately sounded for him to his own concern, and the possibility was what most made him sorry for her. If she did "know," moreover, in the sense of her having had some--what should he think?--mystical irresistible light, this would make the matter not better, but worse, inasmuch as her original adoption of his own curiosity had quite become the basis of her life. ME IT HAD TO THAT HIS FRIEND CONFESSED TO HIM HER FEAR OF A DEEP DISORDER IN HER BLOOD HE FELT SOMEHOW THE SHADOW OF A CHANGE AND THE CHILL OF A SHOCK HE IMMEDIATELY BEGAN TO IMAGINE AGGRAVATIONS AND DISASTERS AND ABOVE ALL TO THINK OF HER PERIL AS THE DIRECT MENACE FOR HIMSELF OF PERSONAL PRIVATION THIS INDEED GAVE HIM ONE OF THOSE PARTIAL RECOVERIES OF EQUANIMITY THAT WERE AGREEABLE TO HIM IT SHOWED HIM THAT WHAT WAS STILL FIRST IN HIS MIND WAS THE LOSS SHE HERSELF MIGHT SUFFER WHAT IF SHE SHOULD HAVE TO DIE BEFORE KNOWING BEFORE SEEING IT WOULD HAVE BEEN BRUTAL IN THE EARLY STAGES OF HER TROUBLE TO PUT THAT QUESTION TO HER BUT IT HAD IMMEDIATELY SOUNDED FOR HIM TO HIS OWN CONCERN AND THE POSSIBILITY WAS WHAT MOST MADE HIM SORRY FOR HER IF SHE DID KNOW MOREOVER IN THE SENSE OF HER HAVING HAD SOME WHAT SHOULD HE THINK MYSTICAL IRRESISTIBLE LIGHT THIS WOULD MAKE THE MATTER NOT BETTER BUT WORSE INASMUCH AS HER ORIGINAL ADOPTION OF HIS OWN CURIOSITY HAD QUITE BECOME THE BASIS OF HER LIFE
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