large/1823/stage_land_0803_librivox_64kb_mp3/stageland_08_jerome_64kb_47
large/1823/stage_land_0803_librivox_64kb_mp3/stageland_08_jerome_64kb
English
1823
The stage child is much admired by the audience. THE STAGE CHILD IS ADMIRED BY THE AUDIENCE
ves way. After that it runs amuck up and down the whole play and makes everybody sit up all round. It asks eminently respectable old maids if they wouldn't like to have a baby; and it wants to know why bald-headed old men have left off wearing hair, and why other old gentlemen have red noses and if they were always that color. In some plays it so happens that the less said about the origin and source of the stage child the better; and in such cases nothing will appear so important to that contrary brat as to know, in the middle of an evening-party, who its father was! Everybody loves the stage child. They catch it up in their bosoms every other minute and weep over it. They take it in turns to do this. Nobody--on the stage, we mean--ever has enough of the stage child. Nobody ever tells the stage child to "shut up" or to "get out of this." Nobody ever clumps the stage child over the head. When the real child goes to the theater it must notice these things and wish it were a stage child. T UNTIL HER BRAIN NEARLY GIVES WAY AFTER THAT IT RUNS EM UP AND DOWN THE WHOLE PLAY AND MAKES EVERYBODY SIT UP ALL AROUND IT ASKS EMINENTLY RESPECTABLE OLD MAIDS IF THEY WOULDN'T LIKE TO HAVE A BABY AND HE WANTS TO KNOW WHY BALD HEADED OLD MEN HAVE BEEN LEFT OFF WEARING HAIR AND WHY OTHER OLD GENTLEMEN HAVE RED NOSES AND IF THEY ARE ALWAYS THAT COLOUR IN SOME PLAYS IT SO HAPPENS THAT THE LESS SAID ABOUT THE ORIGIN AND SOURCE OF THE STAGE CHILD THE BETTER AND IN SOME CASES NOTHING WILL APPEAR SO IMPORTANT TO THE CONTRARY BRAT AS TO KNOW IN THE MIDDLE OF AN EVENING PARTY WHO ITS FATHER WAS EVERYBODY LOVES THE STAGE CHILD THEY CATCH IT UP IN THEIR BOSOMS EVERY OTHER MINUTE AND WEEP OVER IT THEY TAKE IT IN TURNS TO DO THIS NOBODY ON THE STAGE WE MEAN EVER HAS ENOUGH OF THE STAGE CHILD NOBODY TELLS THE STAGE CHILD TO SHUT UP OR GET OUT OF THIS NOBODY EVER CLUMPS THE STAGE CHILD OVER THE HEAD WHEN THE REAL CHILD GOES TO THE THEATRE YOU MUST NOTICE THESE THINGS AND WISH YOU WERE A STAGE CHILD
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