large/8432/persuit_house_boat_1205_librivox_64kb_mp3/pursuitofthehouseboat_04_bangs_64kb_8
large/8432/persuit_house_boat_1205_librivox_64kb_mp3/pursuitofthehouseboat_04_bangs_64kb
English
8432
Why, only last week I got a 'quarterly statement' from him showing a charge against me of thirty eight dollars for humorous remarks made to my guests at a little chafing dish party I gave in honor of Balzac, and, worst of all, he had marked it 'Please remit. WHY ONLY LAST WEEK I GOT A QUARTERLY STATEMENT FROM HIM SHOWING A CHARGE AGAINST ME OF THIRTY EIGHT DOLLARS FOR HUMOROUS REMARKS MADE TO MY GUEST THE LITTLE CHAFING DISH PARTY I GAVE IN HONOR OF BALZAC AND WORST OF ALL HE HAD MARKED IT PLEASE REMIT
ran this wise: NOTICE TO HOSTESSES. Owing to the very great, constantly growing, and at times vexatious demands upon his time socially, HERR WOLFGANG AMADEUS MOZART takes this method of announcing to his friends that on and after January 1, 1897, his terms for functions will be as follows: Marks Dinners with conversation on the Theory of Music 500 Dinners with conversation on the Theory of Music, 750 illustrated Dinners without any conversation 300 Receptions, public, with music 1000 ,, ,, private, ,, ,,, 750 Encores (single) 100 Three encores for 150 Autographs 10 Positively no Invitations for Five-o’Clock Teas or Morning Musicales considered. * * * * * “Well, I declare!” tittered Elizabeth, as she read. “Isn’t that extraordinary? He’s got the three-name craze, too!” “It’s perfectly ridiculous,” said Cleopatra. “But it’s fairer than Artemus Ward’s plan. Mozart gives notice of his intentions to charge you; but with Ward it’s different. He comes, and afterwards sends a bill for his fun. OSTESSES OWING TO THE VERY GREAT CONSTANTLY GROWING AND AT TIMES VEXATIOUS DEMANDS UPON HIS TIME SOCIALLY HERBUSTKANG AMADEUS MOZART TAKES THIS METHOD OF ANNOUNCING TO HIS FRIENDS THAT ON AND AFTER JANUARY FIRST EIGHTEEN NINETY SEVEN HIS TERMS FOR FUNCTIONS WILL BE AS FOLLOWS DINNERS WITH CONVERSATION ON THE THEORY OF MUSIC FIVE HUNDRED DINNERS WITH CONVERSATION ON THE THEORY OF MUSIC ILLUSTRATED SEVEN FIFTY DINNERS WITHOUT ANY CONVERSATION THREE HUNDRED RECEPTIONS PUBLIC WITH MUSIC ONE THOUSAND THE SAME PRIVATE SEVEN FIFTY ENCORES SINGLE ONE HUNDRED THREE ENCORES FOR ONE HUNDRED FIFTY AUTOGRAPHS TEN POSITIVELY NO INVITATIONS FOR FIVE O'CLOCK TEAS OR MORNING MUSICALES CONSIDERED I DECLARE TITTERED ELIZABETH AS SHE READ ISN'T THAT EXTRAORDINARY HE'S GOT THE THREE NAMED CRAZE TOO IT'S PERFECTLY RIDICULOUS SAID CLEOPATRA BUT IT'S FAIRER THAN ARTEMUS WARD'S PLAN MOZART GIVES NOTICE OF HIS INTENTIONS TO CHARGE YOU BUT WITH WARD IT'S DIFFERENT HE COMES AND AFTERWARDS SENDS A BILL FOR HIS FUN
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