large/4193/great_god_pan_1108_librivox_64kb_mp3/greatgodpan_03_machen_64kb_39
large/4193/great_god_pan_1108_librivox_64kb_mp3/greatgodpan_03_machen_64kb
English
4193
"Yes; she disappeared one night. I don't know where she went, but I am sure if I saw her again it would kill me. The rest of my story is of no interest; sordid misery, that is all. You may think, Villiers, that I have exaggerated and talked for effect; but I have not told you half. YES SHE DISAPPEARED ONE NIGHT I DON'T KNOW WHERE SHE WENT BUT I AM SURE IF I SAW HER AGAIN IT WOULD KILL ME THE REST OF MY STORY IS OF NO INTEREST SORDID MISERY THAT IS ALL YOU MAY THINK VILLIERS THAT I HAVE EXAGGERATED AND TALKED FOR EFFECT BUT I HAVE NOT TOLD YOU HALF
ting up in bed, and I listened to her as she spoke in her beautiful voice, spoke of things which even now I would not dare whisper in the blackest night, though I stood in the midst of a wilderness. You, Villiers, you may think you know life, and London, and what goes on day and night in this dreadful city; for all I can say you may have heard the talk of the vilest, but I tell you you can have no conception of what I know, not in your most fantastic, hideous dreams can you have imaged forth the faintest shadow of what I have heard—and seen. Yes, seen. I have seen the incredible, such horrors that even I myself sometimes stop in the middle of the street and ask whether it is possible for a man to behold such things and live. In a year, Villiers, I was a ruined man, in body and soul—in body and soul.” “But your property, Herbert? You had land in Dorset.” “I sold it all; the fields and woods, the dear old house—everything.” “And the money?” “She took it all from me.” “And then left you?” HOTEL LISTENING TO HER TALK SHE WAS SITTING UP IN BED AND I LISTENED TO HER AS SHE SPOKE IN HER BEAUTIFUL VOICE SPOKE OF THINGS WHICH EVEN NOW I WOULD NOT DARE WHISPER IN THE BLACKEST NIGHT THOUGH I STOOD IN THE MIDST OF A WILDERNESS YOU VILLIERS YOU MAY THINK YOU KNOW LIFE AND LONDON AND WHAT GOES ON DAY AND NIGHT IN THIS DREADFUL CITY FOR ALL I CAN SAY YOU MAY HAVE HEARD THE TALK OF THE VIOLENCE BUT I TELL YOU YOU CAN HAVE NO CONCEPTION OF WHAT I KNOW NOT IN YOUR MOST FANTASTIC HIDEOUS DREAMS CAN YOU HAVE IMAGED FORTH THE FAINTEST SHADOW OF WHAT I HAVE HEARD AND SEEN YES SEEN I HAVE SEEN THE INCREDIBLE SUCH HORRORS THAT EVEN I MYSELF SOMETIMES STOP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET AND ASK WHETHER IT IS POSSIBLE FOR A MAN TO BEHOLD SUCH THINGS AND LIVE IN A YEAR VILLIERS I WAS A RUINED MAN IN BODY AND SOUL IN BODY AND SOUL BUT YOUR PROPERTY HERBERT YOU HAD LAND IN DORSET I SOLD IT ALL THE FIELDS AND WOODS THE DEAR OLD HOUSE EVERYTHING AND THE MONEY SHE TOOK IT ALL FROM ME AND THEN LEFT YOU
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