large/6636/uncle_josh_punkin_centre_1112_librivox_64kb_mp3/unclejoshspunkincentrestories_31_stewart_64kb_0
large/6636/uncle_josh_punkin_centre_1112_librivox_64kb_mp3/unclejoshspunkincentrestories_31_stewart_64kb
English
6636
Wall, I'm through with it; once is enough fer me. You kin all ride your durned old bisickles that want to, but fer my part I'd jist as soon stand up and walk as to sit down and walk. No more bisickles fer your Uncle Josh, not if he knows it, and your Uncle Josh sort of calculates as how he do. WELL I'M THROUGH WITH IT ONCE IS ENOUGH FOR ME YOU CAN ALL RIDE YOUR DURNED BICYCLES THAT WANT TO BUT FOR MY PART I JIST AS SOON STAND UP AND WALK AS TO SIT DOWN AND WALK NO MORE BICYCLES FOR YOUR UNCLE JOSH NOT IF HE KNOWS IT AND YOUR UNCLE JOSH SORT O CALCULATES AS HOW HE DO
hen I went up in the air and cum down all over that bisickle. I fell on top of it and under it and on both sides of it; I fell in front of the front wheel and behind the hind wheel at the same time. Durned if I know how I done it but I did. I run my foot through the spokes, and put about a hundred and fifty punctures in a hedge fence, and skeered a hoss and buggy clar off the highway. I done more different kinds of tumblin' than any cirkus performer I ever seen in my life, and I made more revolutions in a fifteen-foot circle than any buzz-saw that ever wuz invented. Wall, I lost the lamp, I lost the clamp, I lost my patience, I lost my temper, I lost my self-respect, my last suspender button and my standin' in the community. I broke the handle bars, I broke the sprockets, I broke the ten commandments, I broke my New Year's pledge and the law agin loud and abusive language, and Jim Lawson got so excited he run his wooden leg through a knot-hole in the porch and couldn't git it out agin. HANG ON FOR A SPELL AND THEN I WENT UP IN THE AIR AND COME DOWN ALL OVER THAT BICYCLE I FELL ON TOP OF IT AND UNDER IT AND ON BOTH SIDES OF IT I FELL IN FRONT OF THE FRONT WHEEL AND BEHIND THE HIND WHEEL AT THE SAME TIME DURNED IF I KNOW HOW I DONE IT BUT I DID I RUN MY FOOT THROUGH THE SPOKES AND PUT A HUNDRED AND FIFTY PUNCTURES IN A HEDGED FENCE AND SKEERED A HORSE AND BUGGY CLEAR OFF THE HIGHWAY I DONE MORE DIFFERENT KINDS OF TUMBLING THAN ANY CIRCUS PERFORMER I EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE AND I MADE MORE REVOLUTIONS IN A FIFTEEN FOOT CIRCLE THAN ANY BUZZ SAW THAT WAS EVER INVENTED WELL I LOST THE LAMP I LOST THE CLAMP I LOST MY PATIENCE I LOST MY TEMPER I LOST MY SELF RESPECT MY LAST SUSPENDER BUTTON AND MY STANDIN IN THE COMMUNITY I BROKE THE HANDLEBARS I BROKE THE SPRUCKITS I BROKE THE KIN COMMANDMENTS I BROKE MY NEW YEAR'S PLEDGE AND THE LAW AGAIN LOUD IN ABUSIVE LANGUAGE AND JIM LAWSON GOT SO EXCITED HE RUN HIS WOODEN LEG THROUGH A KNOT HOLE IN THE PORCH AND COULDN'T GET IT OUT AGAIN
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