large/1823/stage_land_0803_librivox_64kb_mp3/stageland_08_jerome_64kb_16
large/1823/stage_land_0803_librivox_64kb_mp3/stageland_08_jerome_64kb
English
1823
In some plays it so happens that the less said about the origin and source of the stage child the better; and in such cases nothing will appear so important to that contrary brat as to know, in the middle of an evening party, who its father was! IN SOME PLAYS IT SO HAPPENS THAT THE LESS SAID ABOUT THE ORIGIN AND SOURCE OF THE STAGE CHILD THE BETTER AND IN SOME CASES NOTHING WILL APPEAR SO IMPORTANT TO THE CONTRARY BRAT AS TO KNOW IN THE MIDDLE OF AN EVENING PARTY WHO ITS FATHER WAS
dear papa" is, and why he has left dear mamma; when, as all the guests know, the poor man is doing his two years' hard or waiting to be hanged. It makes everybody so uncomfortable. It is always harrowing up somebody--the stage child; it really ought not to be left about as it is. When it has done upsetting its mother it fishes out some broken-hearted maid, who has just been cruelly severed forever from her lover, and asks her in a high falsetto voice why she doesn't get married, and prattles to her about love, and domestic bliss, and young men, and any other subject it can think of particularly calculated to lacerate the poor girl's heart until her brain nearly gives way. After that it runs amuck up and down the whole play and makes everybody sit up all round. It asks eminently respectable old maids if they wouldn't like to have a baby; and it wants to know why bald-headed old men have left off wearing hair, and why other old gentlemen have red noses and if they were always that color. NTS TO KNOW BEFORE A ROOMFUL OF PEOPLE WHERE DEAR PAPA IS AND WHY HE HAS LEFT DEAR MAMMA WHEN AS ALL THE GUESTS KNOW THE POOR MAN IS DOING HIS TWO YEARS HARD OR WAITING TO BE HANGED IT MAKES EVERYBODY SO UNCOMFORTABLE IT IS HARROWING UP EVERYBODY THE STAGE CHILD IT REALLY OUGHT NOT TO BE LEFT AS IT IS WHEN IT HAS DONE UPSETTING ITS MOTHER IT FISHES OUT SOME BROKEN HEARTED MAID WHO HAS BEEN CRUELLY SEVERED FOR EVER FROM HER LOVER AND ASKS HER IN A HIGH FORCETTO VOICE WHY SHE DOESN'T GET MARRIED AND PRATTLES TO HER ABOUT LOVE AND DOMESTIC BLISS AND YOUNG MEN AT ANY SUBJECT IT CAN THINK PARTICULARLY CALCULATED TO LACERATE THE POOR GIRL'S HEART UNTIL HER BRAIN NEARLY GIVES WAY AFTER THAT IT RUNS EM UP AND DOWN THE WHOLE PLAY AND MAKES EVERYBODY SIT UP ALL AROUND IT ASKS EMINENTLY RESPECTABLE OLD MAIDS IF THEY WOULDN'T LIKE TO HAVE A BABY AND HE WANTS TO KNOW WHY BALD HEADED OLD MEN HAVE BEEN LEFT OFF WEARING HAIR AND WHY OTHER OLD GENTLEMEN HAVE RED NOSES AND IF THEY ARE ALWAYS THAT COLOUR
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