large/3914/beast_in_jungle_1012_librivox_64kb_mp3/beastjungle_2_james_64kb_104
large/3914/beast_in_jungle_1012_librivox_64kb_mp3/beastjungle_2_james_64kb
English
3914
He had thought himself, so long as nobody knew, the most disinterested person in the world, carrying his concentrated burden, his perpetual suspense, ever so quietly, holding his tongue about it, giving others no glimpse of it nor of its effect upon his life, asking of them no allowance and only making on his side all those that were asked. HE HAD THOUGHT HIMSELF SO LONG AS NOBODY KNEW THE MOST DISINTERESTED PERSON IN THE WORLD CARRYING HIS CONCENTRATED BURDEN HIS PERPETUAL SUSPENSE EVER SO QUIETLY HOLDING HIS TONGUE ABOUT IT GIVING OTHERS NO GLIMPSE OF IT NOR OF ITS EFFECT UPON HIS LIFE ASKING OF THEM NO ALLOWANCE AND ONLY MAKING ON HIS SIDE ALL THOSE THAT WERE ASKED
han his shyness had permitted him to imagine; and May Bartram was clearly right, because--well, because there she was. Her knowledge simply settled it; he would have been sure enough by this time had she been wrong. There was that in his situation, no doubt, that disposed him too much to see her as a mere confidant, taking all her light for him from the fact--the fact only--of her interest in his predicament; from her mercy, sympathy, seriousness, her consent not to regard him as the funniest of the funny. Aware, in fine, that her price for him was just in her giving him this constant sense of his being admirably spared, he was careful to remember that she had also a life of her own, with things that might happen to _her_, things that in friendship one should likewise take account of. Something fairly remarkable came to pass with him, for that matter, in this connexion--something represented by a certain passage of his consciousness, in the suddenest way, from one extreme to the other. RITY OF HIS SECRET MORE EVEN THAN HIS SHYNESS HAD PERMITTED HIM TO IMAGINE AND MAY BARTRAM WAS CLEARLY RIGHT BECAUSE WELL BECAUSE THERE SHE WAS HER KNOWLEDGE SIMPLY SETTLED IT HE WOULD HAVE BEEN SURE ENOUGH BY THIS TIME HAD SHE BEEN WRONG THERE WAS THAT IN HIS SITUATION NO DOUBT THAT DISPOSED HIM TOO MUCH TO SEE HER AS A MERE CONFIDANT TAKING ALL HER LIGHT FOR HIM FROM THE FACT THE FACT ONLY OF HER INTEREST IN HIS PREDICAMENT FROM HER MERCY SYMPATHY SERIOUSNESS HER CONSENT NOT TO REGARD HIM AS THE FUNNIEST OF THE FUNNY AWARE IN FINE THAT HER PRICE FOR HIM WAS JUST IN HER GIVING HIM THIS CONSTANT SENSE OF HIS BEING ADMIRABLY SPARED HE WAS CAREFUL TO REMEMBER THAT SHE ALSO HAD A LIFE OF HER OWN WITH THINGS THAT MIGHT HAPPEN TO HER THINGS THAT IN FRIENDSHIP ONE SHOULD LIKEWISE TAKE ACCOUNT OF SOMETHING FAIRLY REMARKABLE CAME TO PASS WITH HIM FOR THAT MATTER IN THIS CONNECTION SOMETHING REPRESENTED BY A CERTAIN PASSAGE OF HIS CONSCIOUSNESS IN THE SUDDENEST WAY FROM ONE EXTREME TO THE OTHER
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