large/7215/rameaus_nephew_bb3_librivox_64kb_mp3/rameausnephew_4_diderot_64kb_59
large/7215/rameaus_nephew_bb3_librivox_64kb_mp3/rameausnephew_4_diderot_64kb
English
7215
I went to great lengths tormenting myself to reach the highest arts of the idiot house. But it's no use. Will he laugh? Won't he? That's what I'm forced to say to myself in the middle of my contortions, and you can judge how much this uncertainty damages one's talent. I WENT TO GREAT LENGTHS TORMENTING MYSELF TO REACH THE HIGHEST ARTS OF THE IDIOT HOUSE BUT IT'S NO USE WILL HE LAUGH WON'T HE THAT'S WHAT I'M FORCED TO SAY TO MYSELF IN THE MIDDLE OF MY CONTORTIONS AND YOU CAN JUDGE HOW MUCH THIS UNCERTAINTY DAMAGES ONE'S TALENT
ot on someone else's orders. Does it have to be the case that when someone can say to me "Crawl" I have to crawl? That's how a worm operates--and it's my way, too. We both follow it, when people leave us alone. But we raise ourselves up when someone steps on our tails. People have stepped on my tail, and I straightened up. But then you have no idea of the madhouse we're talking about. Imagine a melancholy and sullen personality, consumed with vapours, wrapped up in two or three layers of dressing gown, who loves himself but who's unhappy about everything, a person from whom it's difficult to get a smile, even if you distort your body and mind in a hundred different ways. He examines coldly the pleasant grimaces of my face and of my judgment, which are even more pleasant, for, between us, that father Christmas, that nasty Benedictine so famous for his grimaces, for all his success at court, is nothing but a wooden Punch in comparison to me--and I say that without praising myself or him.  AT MY OWN DISCRETION AND NOT ON SOME ONE ELSE'S ORDERS DOES IT HAVE TO BE THE CASE THAT WHEN SOMEONE CAN SAY TO ME CRAWL I HAVE TO CRAWL THAT'S HOW A WORM OPERATES AND IT'S MY WAY TOO WE BOTH FOLLOW IT WHEN PEOPLE LEAVE US ALONE BUT WE RAISE OURSELVES UP WHEN SOMEONE STEPS ON OUR TAILS PEOPLE HAVE STEPPED ON MY TAIL AND I STRAIGHTENED UP BUT THEN YOU HAVE NO IDEA OF THE MADHOUSE WE'RE TALKING ABOUT IMAGINE A MELANCHOLY AND SULLEN PERSONALITY CONSUMED WITH VAPOURS WRAPPED UP IN TWO OR THREE LAYERS OF DRESSING GOWN WHO LOVES HIMSELF BUT WHO'S UNHAPPY ABOUT EVERYTHING A PERSON FROM WHOM IT'S DIFFICULT TO GET A SMILE EVEN IF YOU DISTORT YOUR BODY AND MIND IN A HUNDRED DIFFERENT WAYS HE EXAMINES COLDLY THE PLEASANT GRIMACES OF MY FACE AND OF MY JUDGMENT WHICH ARE EVEN MORE PLEASANT FOR BETWEEN US THAT FATHER CHRISTMAS THAT NASTY BENEDICTINE SO FAMOUS FOR HIS GRIMACES FOR ALL HIS SUCCESS AT COURT IS NOTHING BUT A WOODEN PUNCH IN COMPARISON TO ME AND I SAY THAT WITHOUT PRAISING MYSELF OR HIM
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