large/1823/stage_land_0803_librivox_64kb_mp3/stageland_07_jerome_64kb_37
large/1823/stage_land_0803_librivox_64kb_mp3/stageland_07_jerome_64kb
English
1823
We said, "Do you know, Jane" (her name wasn't Jane, but that wasn't our fault), "do you know, Jane, I think you're an uncommonly nice girl," and we said "click," and dug her in the ribs with our elbow, and then chucked her under the chin. The whole thing seemed to fall flat. There was nobody there to laugh or applaud. We wished we hadn't done it. WE SAID DO YOU KNOW JANE HER NAME WASN'T JANE BUT THAT WASN'T OUR FAULT DO YOU KNOW JANE I THINK YOU ARE UNCOMMONLY NICE GIRL AND WE SAID CLICK AND DUG HER IN THE RIBS WITH OUR ELBOW AND THEN CHUCKED HER UNDER THE CHIN THE WHOLE THING SEEMED TO FALL FLAT THERE WAS NOBODY THERE TO LAUGH OR APPLAUD WE WISHED WE HADN'T DONE IT
 is good and faithful, and then she is Irish. All good servant-girls on the stage are Irish. All the male visitors are expected to kiss the stage servant-girl when they come into the house, and to dig her in the ribs and to say: "Do you know, Jane, I think you're an uncommonly nice girl--click." They always say this, and she likes it. Many years ago, when we were young, we thought we would see if things were the same off the stage, and the next time we called at a certain friend's house we tried this business on. She wasn't quite so dazzlingly beautiful as they are on the stage, but we passed that. She showed us up into the drawing-room, and then said she would go and tell her mistress we were there. We felt this was the time to begin. We skipped between her and the door. We held our hat in front of us, cocked our head on one side, and said: "Don't go! don't go!" The girl seemed alarmed. We began to get a little nervous ourselves, but we had begun it and we meant to go through with it.  THE HOUSE SO SOMETIMES THE SERVANT GIRL IS GOOD AND FAITHFUL AND THEN SHE IS IRISH ALL GOOD SERVANT GIRLS ON THE STAGE ARE IRISH ALL THE MALE VISITORS ARE EXPECTED TO KISS THE STAGE SERVANT GIRL WHEN THEY COME INTO THE HOUSE AND DIG HER IN THE RIBS AND SAY DO YOU KNOW JANE I THINK YOU'RE AN UNCOMMONLY NICE GIRL CLICK THEY ALWAYS SAY THIS AND SHE LIKES IT MANY YEARS AGO WHEN WE WERE YOUNG WE THOUGHT WE WOULD SEE IF THINGS WERE THE SAME OFF THE STAGE AND THE NEXT TIME WE CALLED AT A CERTAIN FRIEND'S HOUSE WE TRIED THIS BUSINESS ON SHE WASN'T QUITE SO DAZZLINGLY BEAUTIFUL AS THEY ARE ON THE STAGE BUT WE PASSED THAT SHE SHOWED US INTO THE DRAWING ROOM AND THEN SAID WE SHOULD GO AND TELL THE MISTRESS WE WERE THERE WE FELT THIS WAS THE TIME TO BEGIN WE SKIPPED BETWEEN HER AND THE DOOR WE HELD OUT OUR HAT IN FRONT OF US COCKED HER HEAD TO ONE SIDE AND SAID DON'T GO DON'T GO WE ALL SEEMED ALARMED WE BEGAN TO GET A LITTLE NERVOUS OURSELVES BUT WE HAD BEGUN IT AND WE MEANT TO GO THROUGH WITH IT
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