large/6923/diary_pilgrimage_1112_librivox_64kb_mp3/diaryofapilgrimage_03_jerome_64kb_45
large/6923/diary_pilgrimage_1112_librivox_64kb_mp3/diaryofapilgrimage_03_jerome_64kb
English
6923
No, I would stick to the swagger part of the ship, and feel aristocratic and sick. A mate, or a boatswain, or an admiral, or one of those sort of people  I could not be sure, in the darkness, which it was  came up to me as I was leaning with my head against the paddle box, and asked me what I thought of the ship. He said she was a new boat, and that this was her first voyage. I said I hoped she would get a bit steadier as she grew older. He replied: "Yes, she is a bit skittish to night." NO I WOULD STICK TO THE SWAGGER PART OF THE SHIP AND FEEL ARISTOCRATIC AND SICK A MATE OR A BOATSWAIN OR AN ADMIRAL OR ONE OF THOSE SORT OF PEOPLE I COULD NOT BE SURE IN THE DARKNESS WHICH IT WAS CAME UP TO ME AS I WAS LEANING WITH MY HEAD AGAINST A PADDLE BOX AND ASKED ME WHAT I THOUGHT OF THE SHIP HE SAID SHE WAS A NEW BOAT AND THAT THIS WAS HER FIRST VOYAGE I SAID I HOPED SHE WOULD GET A BIT STEADIER AS SHE GREW OLDER HE REPLIED YES SHE IS A BIT SKITTISH TO NIGHT
want everybody to see that I am not ill. It seems to me that I am wasting myself if I don't let every human being in the vessel know that I am not ill. I cannot sit still and be thankful, like you'd imagine a sensible man would. I walk about the ship--smoking, of course--and look at people who are not well with mild but pitying surprise, as if I wondered what it was like and how they did it. It is very foolish of me, I know, but I cannot help it. I suppose it is the human nature that exists in even the best of us that makes us act like this. I could not get away from this man's cigar; or when I did, I came within range of the perfume from the engine-room, and felt I wanted to go back to the cigar. There seemed to be no neutral ground between the two. If it had not been that I had paid for saloon, I should have gone fore. It was much fresher there, and I should have been much happier there altogether. But I was not going to pay for first-class and then ride third--that was not business. ME THAT I AM NOT ILL I WANT EVERYBODY TO SEE THAT I AM NOT ILL IT SEEMS TO ME THAT I AM WASTING MYSELF IF I DON'T LET EVERY HUMAN BEING IN THE VESSEL KNOW THAT I AM NOT ILL I CANNOT SIT STILL AND BE THANKFUL LIKE YOU'D IMAGINE A SENSIBLE MAN WOULD I WALK ABOUT THE SHIP SMOKING OF COURSE AND LOOK AT PEOPLE WHO WERE NOT WELL WITH MILD BUT PITYING SURPRISE AS IF I WONDERED WHAT IT WAS LIKE AND HOW THEY DID IT IT IS VERY FOOLISH OF ME I KNOW BUT I CANNOT HELP IT I SUPPOSE IT IS THE HUMAN NATURE THAT EXISTS IN EVEN THE BEST OF US THAT MAKES US ACT LIKE THIS I COULD NOT GET AWAY FROM THIS MAN'S CIGAR OR WHEN I DID I CAME WITHIN RANGE OF THE PERFUME FROM THE ENGINE ROOM AND FELT I WANTED TO GO BACK TO THE CIGAR THERE SEEMED TO BE NO NEUTRAL GROUND BETWEEN THE TWO IF IT HAD NOT BEEN THAT I HAD PAID FOR SALOON I SHOULD HAVE GONE FOUR IT WAS MUCH FRESHER THERE AND I SHOULD HAVE BEEN MUCH HAPPIER THERE ALTOGETHER BUT I WAS NOT GOING TO PAY FOR FIRST CLASS AND THEN RIDE THIRD THAT WAS NOT BUSINESS
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