large/4193/great_god_pan_1108_librivox_64kb_mp3/greatgodpan_08_machen_64kb_17
large/4193/great_god_pan_1108_librivox_64kb_mp3/greatgodpan_08_machen_64kb
English
4193
And I forgot, as I have just said, that when the house of life is thus thrown open, there may enter in that for which we have no name, and human flesh may become the veil of a horror one dare not express. I played with energies which I did not understand, you have seen the ending of it. AND I FORGOT AS I HAVE JUST SAID THAT WHEN THE HOUSE OF LIFE IS THUS THROWN OPEN THERE MAY ENTER IN THAT FOR WHICH WE HAVE NO NAME AND HUMAN FLESH MAY BECOME THE VEIL OF A HORROR ONE DARE NOT EXPRESS I PLAYED WITH ENERGIES WHICH I DID NOT UNDERSTAND YOU HAVE SEEN THE ENDING OF IT
 ago, when I talked to you of the world beyond the shadows, and of the god Pan. You remember Mary. She was the mother of Helen Vaughan, who was born nine months after that night. Mary never recovered her reason. She lay, as you saw her, all the while upon her bed, and a few days after the child was born she died. I fancy that just at the last she knew me; I was standing by the bed, and the old look came into her eyes for a second, and then she shuddered and groaned and died. It was an ill work I did that night when you were present; I broke open the door of the house of life, without knowing or caring what might pass forth or enter in. I recollect your telling me at the time, sharply enough, and rightly too, in one sense, that I had ruined the reason of a human being by a foolish experiment, based on an absurd theory. You did well to blame me, but my theory was not all absurdity. What I said Mary would see she saw, but I forgot that no human eyes can look on such a sight with impunity. MER NIGHT SO MANY YEARS AGO WHEN I TALKED TO YOU OF THE WORLD BEYOND THE SHADOWS AND OF THE GOD PAN YOU REMEMBER MARY SHE WAS THE MOTHER OF HELEN VAUGHAN WHO WAS BORN NINE MONTHS AFTER THAT NIGHT MARY NEVER RECOVERED HER REASON SHE LAY AS YOU SAW HER ALL THE WHILE UPON HER BED AND A FEW DAYS AFTER THE CHILD WAS BORN SHE DIED I FANCY THAT JUST AT THE LAST SHE KNEW ME I WAS STANDING BY THE BED AND THE OLD LOOK CAME INTO HER EYES FOR A SECOND AND THEN SHE SHUDDERED AND GROANED AND DIED IT WAS AN ILL WORK THAT I DID THAT NIGHT WHEN YOU WERE PRESENT I BROKE OPEN THE DOOR OF THE HOUSE OF LIFE WITHOUT KNOWING OR CARING WHAT MIGHT PASS FORTH OR ENTER IN I RECOLLECT YOUR TELLING ME AT THE TIME SHARPLY ENOUGH AND RIGHTLY TOO IN ONE SENSE THAT I HAD RUINED THE REASON OF A HUMAN BEING BY A FOOLISH EXPERIMENT BASED ON AN ABSURD THEORY YOU DID WELL TO BLAME ME BUT MY THEORY WAS NOT ALL ABSURDITY WHAT I SAID MARY WOULD SEE SHE SAW BUT I FORGOT THAT NO HUMAN EYES CAN LOOK ON SUCH A SIGHT WITH IMPUNITY
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