large/6636/uncle_josh_punkin_centre_1112_librivox_64kb_mp3/unclejoshspunkincentrestories_15_stewart_64kb_13
large/6636/uncle_josh_punkin_centre_1112_librivox_64kb_mp3/unclejoshspunkincentrestories_15_stewart_64kb
English
6636
Wall they had one place what they called the Middle Way Plesumps, and another place what they called The Streets of Caro, and they had a lot of shows a goin' on along thar. Wall I went into one of 'em and sot down, and I guess if they hadn't of shet up the show I'd a bin sottin' thar yet. I purty near busted my buttins a laffin'. They had a lot of gals a dancin' some kind of a dance; I don't know what they called it, but it sooted me fust rate. WELL THEY HAD ONE PLACE WHAT THEY CALL THE MIDDLE WAY PLEASANTS AN ANOTHER PLACE WHAT THEY CALL THE STREETS O KAY ROW AND THEY HAD A LOT OF SHOWS A GOIN ON ALONG THAR WELL I WENT INTO ONE OF EM AN SOT DOWN AND I GUESS IF THEY HADN'T A SHUT UP THE SHOW I'D A BEEN SOMETIN THAR YET I PURTY NEAR BUSTED MY BUTTONS A LAFFIN THEY HAD A LOT O GALS A DANCIN SOME KIND OF A DANCE I DUNNO WHAT THEY CALLED IT BUT IT SUITED ME FUST RATE
felt as though the whole earth had run off and left us. We went down that troff lickety split, and a woman what wuz settin' alongside of me, got skeered and grabbed me round the neck; and I sed, you let go of me you brazen female critter. But she jist hung on and hollered to beat thunder, and everybody wuz a yellin' all to onct, and that durned boat wuz a goin' faster'n greased lightnin' and I had one hand on my pockit book and tother on my hat, and we went kerslap dab into that duck pond, and the durned boat upsot and we went into the water, and that durned female critter hung onto me and hollered "save me, I'm jist a drownin'." Wall the water wasn't very deep and I jist started to wade out when along cum another boat and run over us, and under we went ker-souse. Wall I managed to get out to the bank, and that female woman sed I was a base vilian to not rescue a lady from a watery grave. And I jist told her if she had kept her mouth shet she wouldn't hav swallered so much of the pond.  THEN TURNED US LOOSE AND I JUST FELT AS THOUGH THE WHOLE EARTH HAD RUN OFF AND LEFT US WE WENT DOWN THAT TROUGH LICKETY SPLIT AND A WOMAN WHO WAS SETTIN ALONGSIDE OF ME GOT SKEERED AND GRABBED ME ROUND THE NECK AND I SAID YOU LET GO ME YOU BRAZEN FEMALE CRITTER BUS SHE JEST HUNG ON AND HOLLERED TO BEAT THUNDER AND EVERYBODY WAS YELLIN ALL AN ONST AN THAT DURNED BOAT WAS A GOIN FASTER'N GREASED LIGHTNIN AN I HED ONE HAND ON MY POCKETBOOK AN T'OTHER ON MY HAT AN WE WENT CUR SLAP DAB INTO THAT DUCK POND AN THE DURNED BOAT UPSHOT AN WE WENT INTO THE WATER AN THAT DURNED FEMALE CRITTER HUNG ON TO ME AN HOLLERED SAVE ME I'M JIST A DROWNDIN WALL THE WATER WOULDN'T VERY DEEP AND I JES STARTED TO WADE OUT WHEN ALONG COME ANOTHER BOAT AN RUN OVER US AND UNDER WE WENT FOR SOUTH WALL I MANAGED TO GET OUT TO THE BANK AND THAT FEMALE WOMAN SAID I WAS A BASE VILLAIN TO NOT RESCUE A LADY FROM A WATERWY GRAVE I JEST TOLD HER IF SHE HAD KEPT HER MOUTH SHUT SHE WOULDN'T HAVE SWALLOWED SO MUCH O THE POND
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