large/10173/little_masterpieces_of_american_wit_and_humor_vol_2_150_librivox_64kb_mp3/americanwitandhumor2_10_masson_64kb_37
large/10173/little_masterpieces_of_american_wit_and_humor_vol_2_150_librivox_64kb_mp3/americanwitandhumor2_10_masson_64kb
English
10173
"You have named the word. Think of it! I frown, and there is war; I smile, and contending nations lay down their arms." "It is awful. The responsibility, I mean." "It is nothing. YOU HAVE NAMED THE WORD THINK OF IT I FROWN AND THERE IS A WAR I SMILE AND CONTENDING NATIONS LAY DOWN THEIR ARMS IT IS AWFUL THE RESPONSIBILITY I MEAN IT IS NOTHING
of this Government, from Envoy Extraordinary and Minister Plenipotentiary to the Court of St. James's all the way down to Consul to a guano rock in the Straits of Sunda--salary payable in guano--which disappeared by volcanic convulsion the day before they got down to my name in the list of applicants? Certainly something august enough to be answerable to the size of this unique and memorable experience was my due, and I got it. By the common voice of this community, by acclamation of the people, that mighty utterance which brushes aside laws and legislation, and from whose decrees there is no appeal, I was named Perpetual Member of the Diplomatic Body representing the multifarious sovereignties and civilizations of the globe near the republican court of the United States of America. And they brought me home with a torchlight procession." "It is wonderful, Colonel----simply wonderful." "It's the loftiest official position in the whole earth." "I should think so--and the most commanding. LOMATIC POST IN THE ROSTER OF THIS GOVERNMENT FROM ENVOY EXTRAORDINARY AND MINISTER PLENIP ATUARY TO THE COURT OF SAINT JAMES'S ALL THE WAY DOWN TO CONSUL TO A GUANO ROCK IN THE STRAITS OF SUNDA SALARY PAYABLE IN GUANO WHICH DISAPPEARED BY VOLCANIC CONVULSION THE DAY BEFORE THEY GOT DOWN TO MY NAME IN THE LIST OF APPLICANTS CERTAINLY SOMETHING AUGUST ENOUGH TO BE ANSWERABLE TO THE SIZE OF THIS UNIQUE AND MEMORABLE EXPERIENCE WAS MY DUE AND I GOT IT BY THE COMMON VOICE OF THIS COMMUNITY BY ACCLAMATION OF THE PEOPLE THAT MIGHTY UTTERANCE WHICH BRUSHES ASIDE LAWS AND LEGISLATION AND FROM WHOSE DECREE THERE IS NO APPEAL I WAS NAMED PERPETUAL MEMBER OF THE DIPLOMATIC BODY REPRESENTING THE MULTIFARY OF SOVEREIGNTIES AND CIVILIZATIONS OF THE GLOBE NEAR THE REPUBLICAN COURT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA AND THEY BROUGHT ME HOME WITH A TORCHLIGHT PROCESSION IT'S WONDERFUL COLONEL SIMPLY WONDERFUL IT IS THE LOFTIEST OFFICIAL POSITION IN THE WHOLE EARTH I SHOULD THINK SO AND THE MOST COMMANDING
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