large/4193/great_god_pan_1108_librivox_64kb_mp3/greatgodpan_03_machen_64kb_74
large/4193/great_god_pan_1108_librivox_64kb_mp3/greatgodpan_03_machen_64kb
English
4193
You, Villiers, you may think you know life, and London, and what goes on day and night in this dreadful city; for all I can say you may have heard the talk of the vilest, but I tell you you can have no conception of what I know, not in your most fantastic, hideous dreams can you have imaged forth the faintest shadow of what I have heard—and seen. Yes, seen. YOU VILLIERS YOU MAY THINK YOU KNOW LIFE AND LONDON AND WHAT GOES ON DAY AND NIGHT IN THIS DREADFUL CITY FOR ALL I CAN SAY YOU MAY HAVE HEARD THE TALK OF THE VIOLENCE BUT I TELL YOU YOU CAN HAVE NO CONCEPTION OF WHAT I KNOW NOT IN YOUR MOST FANTASTIC HIDEOUS DREAMS CAN YOU HAVE IMAGED FORTH THE FAINTEST SHADOW OF WHAT I HAVE HEARD AND SEEN YES SEEN
ll you her age; I never knew it, but, so far as I can guess, I should think she must have been about nineteen when I made her acquaintance. My friends had come to know her at Florence; she told them she was an orphan, the child of an English father and an Italian mother, and she charmed them as she charmed me. The first time I saw her was at an evening party. I was standing by the door talking to a friend, when suddenly above the hum and babble of conversation I heard a voice which seemed to thrill to my heart. She was singing an Italian song. I was introduced to her that evening, and in three months I married Helen. Villiers, that woman, if I can call her woman, corrupted my soul. The night of the wedding I found myself sitting in her bedroom in the hotel, listening to her talk. She was sitting up in bed, and I listened to her as she spoke in her beautiful voice, spoke of things which even now I would not dare whisper in the blackest night, though I stood in the midst of a wilderness. EOPLE WHOM I KNEW I CANNOT TELL YOU HER AGE I NEVER KNEW IT BUT SO FAR AS I CAN GUESS I SHOULD THINK SHE MUST HAVE BEEN ABOUT NINETEEN WHEN I MADE HER ACQUAINTANCE MY FRIENDS HAD COME TO NORA AT FLORENCE SHE TOLD THEM SHE WAS AN ORPHAN THE CHILD OF AN ENGLISH FATHER AND AN ITALIAN MOTHER AND SHE CHARMED THEM AS SHE CHARMED ME THE FIRST TIME I SAW HER WAS AT AN EVENING PARTY I WAS STANDING BY THE DOOR TALKING TO A FRIEND WHEN SUDDENLY ABOVE THE HUM AND BABBLE OF CONVERSATION I HEARD A VOICE WHICH SEEMED TO THRILL TO MY HEART SHE WAS SINGING AN ITALIAN SONG I WAS INTRODUCED TO HER THAT EVENING AND IN THREE MONTHS I MARRIED HELEN VILLIERS THAT WOMAN IF I CAN CALL HER WOMAN CORRUPTED MY SOUL THE NIGHT OF THE WEDDING I FOUND MYSELF SITTING IN HER BEDROOM IN THE HOTEL LISTENING TO HER TALK SHE WAS SITTING UP IN BED AND I LISTENED TO HER AS SHE SPOKE IN HER BEAUTIFUL VOICE SPOKE OF THINGS WHICH EVEN NOW I WOULD NOT DARE WHISPER IN THE BLACKEST NIGHT THOUGH I STOOD IN THE MIDST OF A WILDERNESS
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