large/6138/signsofchange_1209_librivox_64kb_mp3/signsofchange_07_morris_64kb_96
large/6138/signsofchange_1209_librivox_64kb_mp3/signsofchange_07_morris_64kb
English
6138
Again, I find that while I can sometimes satisfy this mood by merely exercising it in work that has no result beyond the passing hour—in play, in short—yet that it presently wearies of that and gets languid, the hope therein being too trivial, and sometimes even scarcely real; and that on the whole, to satisfy my master the mood, I must either be making something or making believe to make it. AGAIN I FIND THAT WHILE I CAN SOMETIMES SATISFY THIS MOOD BY MERELY EXERCISING IT IN WORK THAT HAS NO RESULT BEYOND THE PASSING HOUR IN PLAY IN SHORT YET THAT IT PRESENTLY WEARIES OF THAT AND GETS LANGUID THE HOPE THEREIN BEING TOO TRIVIAL AND SOMETIMES EVEN SCARCELY REAL AND THAT ON THE WHOLE TO SATISFY MY MASTER THE MOOD I MUST EITHER BE MAKING SOMETHING OR MAKING BELIEVE TO MAKE IT
must be doing something, or I become mopish and unhappy; when the mood of idleness is on me, I find it hard indeed if I cannot rest and let my mind wander over the various pictures, pleasant or terrible, which my own experience or my communing with the thoughts of other men, dead or alive, have fashioned in it; and if circumstances will not allow me to cultivate this mood of idleness, I find I must at the best pass through a period of pain till I can manage to stimulate my mood of energy to take its place and make me happy again. And if I have no means wherewith to rouse up that mood of energy to do its duty in making me happy, and I have to toil while the idle mood is upon me, then am I unhappy indeed, and almost wish myself dead, though I do not know what that means. Furthermore, I find that while in the mood of idleness memory amuses me, in the mood of energy hope cheers me; which hope is sometimes big and serious, and sometimes trivial, but that without it there is no happy energy.  ENERGY IS UPON ME I MUST BE DOING SOMETHING OR I BECOME MOPISH AND UNHAPPY WHEN THE MOOD OF IDLENESS IS ON ME I FIND IT HARD INDEED IF I CANNOT REST AND LET MY MIND WANDER OVER THE VARIOUS PICTURES PLEASANT OR TERRIBLE WHICH MY OWN EXPERIENCE OR MY COMMUNING WITH THE THOUGHTS OF OTHER MEN DEAD OR ALIVE HAVE FASHIONED IN IT AND IF CIRCUMSTANCES WILL NOT ALLOW ME TO CULTIVATE THIS MOOD OF IDLENESS I FIND I MUST AT THE BEST PASS THROUGH A PERIOD OF PAIN TILL I CAN MANAGE TO STIMULATE MY MOOD OF ENERGY TO TAKE ITS PLACE AND MAKE ME HAPPY AGAIN AND IF I HAVE NO MEANS WHEREWITH TO ROUSE UP THAT MOOD OF ENERGY TO DO ITS DUTY IN MAKING ME HAPPY AND I HAVE TO TOIL WHILE THE IDLE MOOD IS UPON ME THEN I AM UNHAPPY INDEED AND ALMOST WISH MYSELF DEAD THOUGH I DO NOT KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS FURTHERMORE I FIND THAT WHILE IN THE MOOD OF IDLENESS MEMORY AMUSES ME IN THE MOOD OF ENERGY HOPE CHEERS ME WHICH HOPE IS SOMETIMES BIG AND SERIOUS AND SOMETIMES TRIVIAL BUT THAT WITHOUT IT THERE IS NO HAPPY ENERGY
large/6138/signsofchange_1209_librivox_64kb_mp3/signsofchange_07_morris_64kb
file
download/librilight/large/6138/signsofchange_1209_librivox_64kb_mp3/signsofchange_07_morris_64kb.flac