large/4193/great_god_pan_1108_librivox_64kb_mp3/greatgodpan_03_machen_64kb_10
large/4193/great_god_pan_1108_librivox_64kb_mp3/greatgodpan_03_machen_64kb
English
4193
You may think, Villiers, that I have exaggerated and talked for effect; but I have not told you half. I could tell you certain things which would convince you, but you would never know a happy day again. You would pass the rest of your life, as I pass mine, a haunted man, a man who has seen hell." YOU MAY THINK VILLIERS THAT I HAVE EXAGGERATED AND TALKED FOR EFFECT BUT I HAVE NOT TOLD YOU HALF I COULD TELL YOU CERTAIN THINGS WHICH WOULD CONVINCE YOU BUT YOU WOULD NEVER KNOW A HAPPY DAY AGAIN YOU WOULD PASS THE REST OF YOUR LIFE AS I PASS MINE A HAUNTED MAN A MAN WHO HAS SEEN HELL
 of a wilderness. You, Villiers, you may think you know life, and London, and what goes on day and night in this dreadful city; for all I can say you may have heard the talk of the vilest, but I tell you you can have no conception of what I know, not in your most fantastic, hideous dreams can you have imaged forth the faintest shadow of what I have heard—and seen. Yes, seen. I have seen the incredible, such horrors that even I myself sometimes stop in the middle of the street and ask whether it is possible for a man to behold such things and live. In a year, Villiers, I was a ruined man, in body and soul—in body and soul.” “But your property, Herbert? You had land in Dorset.” “I sold it all; the fields and woods, the dear old house—everything.” “And the money?” “She took it all from me.” “And then left you?” “Yes; she disappeared one night. I don’t know where she went, but I am sure if I saw her again it would kill me. The rest of my story is of no interest; sordid misery, that is all. E BLACKEST NIGHT THOUGH I STOOD IN THE MIDST OF A WILDERNESS YOU VILLIERS YOU MAY THINK YOU KNOW LIFE AND LONDON AND WHAT GOES ON DAY AND NIGHT IN THIS DREADFUL CITY FOR ALL I CAN SAY YOU MAY HAVE HEARD THE TALK OF THE VIOLENCE BUT I TELL YOU YOU CAN HAVE NO CONCEPTION OF WHAT I KNOW NOT IN YOUR MOST FANTASTIC HIDEOUS DREAMS CAN YOU HAVE IMAGED FORTH THE FAINTEST SHADOW OF WHAT I HAVE HEARD AND SEEN YES SEEN I HAVE SEEN THE INCREDIBLE SUCH HORRORS THAT EVEN I MYSELF SOMETIMES STOP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET AND ASK WHETHER IT IS POSSIBLE FOR A MAN TO BEHOLD SUCH THINGS AND LIVE IN A YEAR VILLIERS I WAS A RUINED MAN IN BODY AND SOUL IN BODY AND SOUL BUT YOUR PROPERTY HERBERT YOU HAD LAND IN DORSET I SOLD IT ALL THE FIELDS AND WOODS THE DEAR OLD HOUSE EVERYTHING AND THE MONEY SHE TOOK IT ALL FROM ME AND THEN LEFT YOU YES SHE DISAPPEARED ONE NIGHT I DON'T KNOW WHERE SHE WENT BUT I AM SURE IF I SAW HER AGAIN IT WOULD KILL ME THE REST OF MY STORY IS OF NO INTEREST SORDID MISERY THAT IS ALL
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