large/10173/little_masterpieces_of_american_wit_and_humor_vol_2_150_librivox_64kb_mp3/americanwitandhumor2_10_masson_64kb_59
large/10173/little_masterpieces_of_american_wit_and_humor_vol_2_150_librivox_64kb_mp3/americanwitandhumor2_10_masson_64kb
English
10173
Washington, consider this  for it's perfectly true  within a month I _asked_ for China; within another month I _begged_ for Japan; one year later I was away down, down, down, supplicating with tears and anguish for the bottom office in the gift of the Government of the United States  Flint picker in the cellars of the War Department. And by George, I didn't get it." "Flint picker?" "Yes. Office established in the time of the Revolution  last century. WASHINGTON CONSIDER THIS FOR IT'S PERFECTLY TRUE WITHIN A MONTH I ASKED FOR CHINA WITHIN ANOTHER MONTH I BEGGED FOR JAPAN ONE YEAR LATER I WAS AWAY DOWN DOWN SUPPLICATING WITH TEARS AND ANGUISH FOR THE BOTTOM OFFICE AND THE GIFT OF THE GOVERNMENT OF THE UNITED STATES FLINT PICKER IN THE CELLARS OF THE WAR DEPARTMENT AND BY GEORGE I DIDN'T GET IT FLINT PICKER YES OFFICE ESTABLISHED IN THE TIME OF THE REVOLUTION LAST CENTURY
rupt me, I know what I'm talking about. Happy and prosperous in the Far West, wasn't I? _You_ know that. Principal citizen of Hawkeye, looked up to by everybody, kind of an autocrat, actually a kind of an autocrat, Washington. Well, nothing would do but I must go as Minister to St. James's, the Governor and everybody insisting, you know, and so at last I consented--no getting out of it, _had_ to do it, so here I came. _A day too late_, Washington. Think of that--what little things change the world's history--yes, sir, the place had been filled. Well, there I was, you see. I offered to compromise and go to Paris. The President was very sorry and all that, but that place, you see, didn't belong to the West, so there I was again. There was no help for it, so I had to stoop a little--we all reach the day some time or other when we've got to do that, Washington, and it's not a bad thing for us, either, take it by and large all round--I had to stoop a little and offer to take Constantinople. UP A COLLECTION AND BURY HIM THERE DON'T INTERRUPT ME I KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT HAPPY AND PROSPEROUS IN THE FAR WEST WASN'T I YOU KNOW THAT PRINCIPAL CITIZEN OF HAWKEYE LOOKED UP TO BY EVERYBODY KIND OF AN AUTOCRAT ACTUALLY KIND OF AN AUTOCRAT WASHINGTON WELL NOTHING WOULD I DO BUT I MUST GO AS MINISTER TO SAINT JAMES'S THE GOVERNOR AND EVERYBODY INSISTING YOU KNOW AND SO AT LAST I CONSENTED NO GETTING OUT OF IT HAD TO DO IT SO HERE I CAME A DAY TOO LATE WASHINGTON THINK OF THAT WHAT LITTLE THINGS CHANGE THE WORLD'S HISTORY YES SIR THE PLACE HAD BEEN FILLED WELL THERE I WAS YOU SEE I OFFERED TO COMPROMISE AND GO TO PARIS THE PRESIDENT WAS VERY SORRY AND ALL THAT BUT THAT PLACE YOU SEE DIDN'T BELONG TO THE WEST SO THERE I WAS AGAIN THERE WAS NO HELP FOR IT SO I HAD TO STOOP A LITTLE WE ALL REACHED THE DAY SOME TIME OR OTHER WHEN WE'VE GOT TO DO THAT WASHINGTON AND IT'S NOT A BAD THING FOR US EITHER TAKE IT BY ENLARGE ALL ROUND I HAD TO STOOP A LITTLE AND OFFER TO TAKE CONSTANTINOPLE
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