large/6636/uncle_josh_punkin_centre_1112_librivox_64kb_mp3/unclejoshspunkincentrestories_25_stewart_64kb_4
large/6636/uncle_josh_punkin_centre_1112_librivox_64kb_mp3/unclejoshspunkincentrestories_25_stewart_64kb
English
6636
The Deacon he grabbed Jim and Jim he grabbed the Deacon, and when we got 'em separated the Deacon he wuz stuck fast 'tween a desk and the woodbox, and Jim had his wooden leg through a knot hole in the floor and couldn't get it out, and they've both gone to law about it. THE DEACON HE GRABBED JIM AND JIM HE GRABBED THE DEACON AND WHEN WE GOT EM SEPARATED THE DEACON HE WAS STUCK FAST TWIXT THE DESK AND THE WOOD BOX AND JIM HAD HIS WOODEN LEG THROUGH A KNOTHOLE IN THE FLOOR AND COULDN'T GET IT OUT AND THEY'VE BOTH GONE TO LAW ABOUT IT
e any moshens at me or durned if I don't git down thar and flop you in about a minnit. You take your feet off'n that desk and that corncob pipe out'n your mouth, and conduct yourself with dignity and decorum, and address the chairman of this yere meetin' in a manner benttin' to his station." Wall, Jim he got right smart riled over the matter, and he sed, "Wall, you gosh durned old gospel pirate, I want you to understand that I'm a member of this body, a citizen, a taxpayer and a honorably discharged servant of the government, and I make a moshen that we build a new school-house out of the bricks of the old school-house, and I do further offer an amendment to the original moshen, that we don't tear down the old schoolhouse until the new one is built." Wall, Deacon Witherspoon sed, "The gentleman is out of order;" and Jim sed, "I ain't so durned much out of order but that I kin trim you in about two shakes of a dead sheep's tail." Wall, before we knowed it, them two old cusses wuz at it. ERE YOUNG FELLER DON'T YOU MAKE ANY MOTIONS AT ME OR DURNED IF I DON'T GIT DOWN THAR AN FLOP YE IN ABOUT A MINUTE YOU TAKE YOUR FEET OFF IN THAT DESK AND THAT CORN COB PIPE OUT IN YOUR MOUTH AND CONDUCT YOURSELF WITH DIGNITY AND DECORUM AND ADDRESS THE CHAIRMAN OF THIS YEAR MEETIN IN A MANNER BEFITTIN TO HIS STATION WELL JIM HE GOT RIGHT SMART RILED OVER THE MATTER AN HE SAID WELL YOU GOSH DURNED OLD GOSPEL PIRATE I WANT YOU TO UNDERSTAND THAT I'M A MEMBER OF THIS BODY A CITIZEN A TAX PAYER AND AN HONORABLY DISCHARGED SERVANT OF THE GOVERNMENT AND I MAKE A MOTION THAT WE BUILD A NEW SCHOOLHOUSE OUT OF THE BRICKS OF THE OLD SCHOOL HOUSE AND I DO FURTHER OFFER AN AMENDMENT TO THE ORIGINAL MOTION THAT WE DON'T TEAR DOWN THE OLD SCHOOLHOUSE UNTIL THE NEW ONE IS BUILT WHILE DEACON WEATHERSPOON SAID THE GEN'LEMAN IS OUT OF ORDER AND JIM SAID I AIN'T SO DURNED MUCH OUT O ORDER BUT THAT I CAN TRIM YOU IN ABOUT TWO SHAKES OF A DEAD SHEEP'S TAIL WELL BEFORE WE NOTED THEM TWO OLD CUSSES WAS AT IT
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