large/1823/stage_land_0803_librivox_64kb_mp3/stageland_08_jerome_64kb_2
large/1823/stage_land_0803_librivox_64kb_mp3/stageland_08_jerome_64kb
English
1823
The stage child's department in the scheme of life is to harrow up its mother's feelings by ill timed and uncalled for questions about its father. THE STAGE CHILD'S DEPARTMENT IN THE SCHEME OF LIFE IS TO HARROW UP ITS MOTHER'S FEELINGS BY ILL TIMED AND UNCALLED FOR QUESTIONS ABOUT ITS FATHER
ut a house and screeching and yelling till nobody knows whether they are on their heads or their heels. A stage child does not get up at five o'clock in the morning to practice playing on a penny whistle. A stage child never wants a bicycle and drives you mad about it. A stage child does not ask twenty complicated questions a minute about things that you don't understand, and then wind up by asking why you don't seem to know anything, and why wouldn't anybody teach you anything when you were a little boy. The stage child does not wear a hole in the seat of its knickerbockers and have to have a patch let in. The stage child comes downstairs on its feet. The stage child never brings home six other children to play at horses in the front garden, and then wants to know if they can all come in to tea. The stage child never has the wooping-cough, and the measles, and every other disease that it can lay its hands on, and be laid up with them one after the other and turn the house upside down. RAMPAGE ROUND THE HOUSE AND SCREECHING AND YELLING TILL NOBODY KNOWS WHETHER THEY ARE ON THEIR HEADS OR THEIR HEELS THE STAGE CHILD DOES NOT GET UP AT FIVE O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING TO PRACTISE PLAYING ON A PENNY WHISTLE THE STAGE CHILD NEVER WANTS A BICYCLE AND DRIES YOU MAD ABOUT IT THE STAGE CHILD DOES NOT ASK TWENTY COMPLICATED QUESTIONS A MINUTE ABOUT THINGS YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND AND THEN WIND UP BY ASKING YOU WHY YOU DON'T SEEM TO KNOW ANYTHING AND WHY WOULDN'T ANYBODY TEACH YOU ANYTHING WHEN YOU WERE A LITTLE BOY THE STAGE CHILD DOES NOT WEAR A HOLE IN THE SEAT OF HIS KNICKERBOCKERS AND HAVE TO HAVE A PATCH LET IN THE STAGE CHILD COMES DOWNSTAIRS ON ITS FEET THE STAGE CHILD NEVER BRINGS HOME SIX OTHER CHILDREN TO PLAY AT HORSES IN THE FRONT GARDEN AND THEN WANTS TO KNOW IF THEY CAN ALL COME IN TO TEA THE STAGE CHILD NEVER HAS HOOPING COUGH AND THE MEASLES AND EVERY OTHER DISEASE THAT HE CAN LAY HIS HANDS ON AND BE LAID UP WITH ONE OF THEM AFTER ANOTHER AND TURN THE HOUSE UPSIDE DOWN
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