large/1823/stage_land_0803_librivox_64kb_mp3/stageland_09_jerome_64kb_12
large/1823/stage_land_0803_librivox_64kb_mp3/stageland_09_jerome_64kb
English
1823
_ _Enter comic loveress R., walking in the middle of the road._ _Enter comic lover L., also walking in the middle of the road._ _They neither see the other until they bump against each other in the center._ HE. Why, Jane! Who'd a' thought o' meeting you here! SHE. You evidently didn't  stoopid! HE. Halloo! got out o' bed the wrong side again? I say, Jane, if you go on like that you'll never get a man to marry you. ENTER COMIC LOVES RIGHT WALKING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD ENTER COMIC LOVER LEFT ALSO WALKING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD THEY NEITHER SEE THE OTHER UNTIL THEY BUMP UP AGAINST EACH OTHER IN THE CENTRE WHY JANE WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT OF MEETING YOU HERE YOU EVIDENTLY DIDN'T STUPID HALLO GOT OUT OF BED THE WRONG SIDE AGAIN I SAY JANE IF YOU GO ON LIKE THAT YOU'LL NEVER GET A MAN TO MARRY YOU
 afterward. It was too subtle for them. They summoned us before a magistrate for "using language calculated to cause a breach of the peace." We were fined 2 pounds and costs! They are more lenient to "wit and humor" on the stage, and know how to encourage the art of vituperation. But the comic lovers carry the practice almost to excess. They are more than rude--they are abusive. They insult each other from morning to night. What their married life will be like we shudder to think! In the various slanging matches and bullyragging competitions which form their courtship it is always the maiden that is most successful. Against her merry flow of invective and her girlish wealth of offensive personalities the insolence and abuse of her boyish adorer cannot stand for one moment. To give an idea of how the comic lovers woo, we perhaps cannot do better than subjoin the following brief example: _SCENE: Main thoroughfare in populous district of London. Time: Noon. Not a soul to be seen anywhere. WE WISH WE HADN'T AFTERWARD IT WAS TOO SUBTLE FOR THEM THEY SUMMONED US BEFORE A MAGISTRATE FOR USING LANGUAGE CALCULATED TO CAUSE A BREACH OF THE PIECE AND WE WILL FIND TWO POUNDS AND COSTS THEY ARE MORE LENIENT TO WIT AND HUMOR ON THE STAGE AND KNOW HOW TO ENCOURAGE THE ART OF VICTUPY RELATION BUT THE COMIC LOVERS CARRY THE PRACTICE ALMOST TO EXCESS THEY ARE MORE THAN RUDE THEY ARE ABUSIVE THEY INSULT EACH OTHER FROM MORNING TO NIGHT WHAT THEIR MARRIED LIFE WILL BE LIKE WE SHUDDER TO THINK IN THE VARIOUS SLANGING MATCHES AND BULLY RUGGING COMPETITIONS WHICH FORM THEIR COURTSHIP IT IS ALWAYS THE MAIDEN THAT IS MOST SUCCESSFUL AGAINST HER MERRY FLOW OF INVECTIVE AND GIRLISH WEALTH OF OFFENSIVE PERSONALITIES AND THE INSOLENCE AND ABUSE OF HER BOYISH ADORER CANNOT STAND FOR ONE MOMENT TO GIVE AN IDEA OF THE COWARD LOVER'S WOO WE PERHAPS CANNOT DO BETTER THAN SUBJOIN THE FOLLOWING BRIEF EXAMPLE SCENE MAIN THOROUGHFARE IN POPULOUS DISTRICT OF LONDON TIME NOON NOT A SOUL TO BE SEEN ANYWHERE
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