large/6636/uncle_josh_punkin_centre_1112_librivox_64kb_mp3/unclejoshspunkincentrestories_32_stewart_64kb_8
large/6636/uncle_josh_punkin_centre_1112_librivox_64kb_mp3/unclejoshspunkincentrestories_32_stewart_64kb
English
6636
Religion  Any one man's opinion, but consists mainly of doing right.  Punkin Centre Philosophy. RELIGION ANY ONE MAN'S OPINION BUT CONSISTS MAINLY OF DOING RIGHT PUM CONSIDER PHILOSOPHY
n't git any pension thar, kin ye?" Jim sed, "Wall, you see, Josh, thar wuz a pedler left some hymn books at my house, and I want to go down thar and see if I can't sell 'em." Wall, we hadn't bin thar more 'n a minnit when Jim he told the minister he had the hymn books to sell, and the minister sed he'd tell the congregation all about it. Then Jim he sot right down in the meetin' house and went to sleep; and then he went to snorin'; you could hear him clar across a forty acre lot. I wouldn't a-keered a gosh durn, but he woke me up Wall, about the time the minister wuz a-gittin' through with his sermon, he sed, "Now all members of the congregation having babies here to-day and wantin' of them baptized after the sermon is over, bring them up to the pulpit and I will baptize them." Wall, Jim he woke up about that time, and he thought the minister wuz a-talkin' about his hymn books; so he stood up and sed, "Now all you folks what ain't got any I'll let ye have 'em, twenty-five cents apiece. O YOU WANT TO GO DOWN THERE FOR JIM YOU CAN'T GET ANY PENSION THERE CAN YOU JIM SAID WELL YOU SEE JOSH THERE WAS A PEDDLER LEFT SOME HYMN BOOKS AT MY HOUSE AND I WANT TO GO DOWN THERE AND SEE IF I CAN'T SELL EM WELL HE HADN'T BEEN MORE THAN A MINUTE WHEN JIM HE TOLD THE MINISTER HE HAD THE HYMN BOOKS TO SELL AND THE MINISTER SAID HE'D TELL THE CONGREGATION ALL ABOUT IT THEN JIM HE SOT DOWN IN THE MEETIN' HOUSE AND WENT SLEEP AND THEN HE WENT TO SNORING YOU COULD HEAR HIM CLEAR ACROSS A FORTY ACRE LOT I WOULDN'T A KEERED A GOSH DURN BUT HE WOKE ME UP WELL ABOUT THE TIME THE MINISTER WAS A GITTIN THROUGH HIS SERMON HE SAID NOW ALL THE MEMBERS OF THE CONGREGATION HAVIN BABIES HERE TO DAY AND WON'T OF EM BAPTIZED AFTER THE SERMON IS OVER BRING THEM UP TO THE PULPIT AND I WILL BAPTIZE THEM WELL JIM HE WOKE UP ABOUT THAT TIME AND HE THOUGHT THE MINISTER WAS A TALKIN ABOUT HIS HYMN BOOKS SO HE STOOD UP AND SAID NOW ALL YOU FOLKS WHAT AIN'T GOT ANY I'LL LET YOU HAVE EM TWENTY FIVE CENTS APIECE
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