large/6636/uncle_josh_punkin_centre_1112_librivox_64kb_mp3/unclejoshspunkincentrestories_31_stewart_64kb_5
large/6636/uncle_josh_punkin_centre_1112_librivox_64kb_mp3/unclejoshspunkincentrestories_31_stewart_64kb
English
6636
Wall, I lost the lamp, I lost the clamp, I lost my patience, I lost my temper, I lost my self respect, my last suspender button and my standin' in the community. WELL I LOST THE LAMP I LOST THE CLAMP I LOST MY PATIENCE I LOST MY TEMPER I LOST MY SELF RESPECT MY LAST SUSPENDER BUTTON AND MY STANDIN IN THE COMMUNITY
I got on it sort of unconcerned like, and then I got off sort of unconcerned like. Wall, I sot down a minnit to think it over, and then the trouble commenced. I got on that durned masheen and it jumped up in the front and kicked up behind, and bucked up in the middle, and shied and balked and jumped sideways, and carried on worse 'n a couple of steers the fust time they're yoked. Wall, I managed to hang on fer a spell, and then I went up in the air and cum down all over that bisickle. I fell on top of it and under it and on both sides of it; I fell in front of the front wheel and behind the hind wheel at the same time. Durned if I know how I done it but I did. I run my foot through the spokes, and put about a hundred and fifty punctures in a hedge fence, and skeered a hoss and buggy clar off the highway. I done more different kinds of tumblin' than any cirkus performer I ever seen in my life, and I made more revolutions in a fifteen-foot circle than any buzz-saw that ever wuz invented. TO THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD AND I GOT ON IT SORT O UNCONCERNED LIKE AND THEN I GOT OFF SORT OF UNCONCERN LIKE WELL I SOT DOWN A MINUTE TO THINK IT OVER AND THEN THE TROUBLE COMMENCED I GOT ON THAT DURNED MACHINE AND IT JUMPED UP IN FRONT AND KICKED UP BEHIND AND BUCKED UP IN THE MIDDLE AND SHIED AND BALKED AND JUMPED SIDEWAYS AND CARRIED ON WORSING A COUPLE OF STEERS THE FUST TIME THEY WAS YOKED WELL I MANAGED TO HANG ON FOR A SPELL AND THEN I WENT UP IN THE AIR AND COME DOWN ALL OVER THAT BICYCLE I FELL ON TOP OF IT AND UNDER IT AND ON BOTH SIDES OF IT I FELL IN FRONT OF THE FRONT WHEEL AND BEHIND THE HIND WHEEL AT THE SAME TIME DURNED IF I KNOW HOW I DONE IT BUT I DID I RUN MY FOOT THROUGH THE SPOKES AND PUT A HUNDRED AND FIFTY PUNCTURES IN A HEDGED FENCE AND SKEERED A HORSE AND BUGGY CLEAR OFF THE HIGHWAY I DONE MORE DIFFERENT KINDS OF TUMBLING THAN ANY CIRCUS PERFORMER I EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE AND I MADE MORE REVOLUTIONS IN A FIFTEEN FOOT CIRCLE THAN ANY BUZZ SAW THAT WAS EVER INVENTED
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