large/6636/uncle_josh_punkin_centre_1112_librivox_64kb_mp3/unclejoshspunkincentrestories_22_stewart_64kb_5
large/6636/uncle_josh_punkin_centre_1112_librivox_64kb_mp3/unclejoshspunkincentrestories_22_stewart_64kb
English
6636
Gee whiz, I felt as though I'd fell in a yeller jacket's nest, and about four thousand of 'em wuz a stingin' me all to onct. Wall, I told him I guessed he could put up a lightning rod or two, seein' as how I didn't hav any. GEE WHIZ I FELT AS THOUGH I'D FELL IN A YELLOW JACKET'S NEST AND ABOUT FOUR THOUSAND OF EM WAS A STINGING ME ALL THE ONCE WELL I TOLD HIM I GUESS HE COULD PUT UP A LIGHTNIN ROT OR TWO SEEIN'S HOW I DIDN'T HAVE ANY
own me all his life. He sed, "My dear sir, I am astonished at you. I've looked over your entire premises and I find you haven't got a lightning rod on any buildin' that you possess. Why, my dear sir, don't you know you are flyin' right in the face of Providence? Don't you know that lightning may strike at any time and demolish everything within the sound of my voice? Don't you know you are criminally negligent? Why, my dear sir, I am astonished to think that a man of your jedgment and good common sense should allow yourself to----" Wall, about that time I'd got my breath and wits at the same time, and I sed, "Now hold on, gosh durn ye, what hav ye got to sell anyhow?" Wall, he told me he had some lightnin' rods, and he brought out a little masheen and told me to take hold of the handles and he'd show me what a powerful thing 'lectricity wuz. Wall, I took hold of them handles and he turned on a crank, and that durned masheen jist made me dance all over the porch, and it wouldn't let go. TAX ASSESSOR OR LIKE HE'D KNOWN ME ALL HIS LIFE HE SAID MY DEAR SIR I AM ASTONISHED AT YOU I'VE LOOKED OVER YOUR ENTIRE PREMISES AND I FIND YOU HAVEN'T GOT A LIGHTNING ROD ON ANY BUILDING THAT YOU POSSESS WHY MY DEAR SIR DON'T YOU KNOW YOU ARE FLYING RIGHT IN THE FACE OF PROVIDENCE DON'T YOU KNOW THAT LIGHTNING MAY STRIKE AT ANY TIME AND DEMOLISH EVERYTHING WITHIN THE SOUND OF MY VOICE DON'T YOU KNOW THAT YOU ARE CRIMINALLY NEGLIGENT WHY MY DEAR SIR I AM ASTONISHED TO THINK THAT A MAN OF YOUR JUDGMENT AND GOOD COMMON SENSE SHOULD ALLOW YOURSELF TO WHILE ABOUT THAT TIME I GOT MY BREATH AND MY WITS AT THE SAME TIME AND I SAID NOW HOLD ON GOSH DURN YE WHY'D YOU GOT TO SELL ANYHOW WELL HE TOLD ME HE HAD SOME LIGHTING RODS AND HE BROUGHT OUT A LITTLE MACHINE AND TOLD ME TO TAKE HOLD OF THE HANDLES AND HID SHOW ME WHAT A POWERFUL THING ELECTRICITY WAS WELL I TOOK HOLD OF THEM HANDLES AND HE TURNED ON A CRANK AND THAT DURNED MACHINE JEST MADE ME DANCE ALL OVER THE PORCH AND IT WOULDN'T LET GO
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file
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