large/1823/stage_land_0803_librivox_64kb_mp3/stageland_08_jerome_64kb_43
large/1823/stage_land_0803_librivox_64kb_mp3/stageland_08_jerome_64kb
English
1823
It is always harrowing up somebody  the stage child; it really ought not to be left about as it is. When it has done upsetting its mother it fishes out some broken hearted maid, who has just been cruelly severed forever from her lover, and asks her in a high falsetto voice why she doesn't get married, and prattles to her about love, and domestic bliss, and young men, and any other subject it can think of particularly calculated to lacerate the poor girl's heart until her brain nearly gives way. IT IS HARROWING UP EVERYBODY THE STAGE CHILD IT REALLY OUGHT NOT TO BE LEFT AS IT IS WHEN IT HAS DONE UPSETTING ITS MOTHER IT FISHES OUT SOME BROKEN HEARTED MAID WHO HAS BEEN CRUELLY SEVERED FOR EVER FROM HER LOVER AND ASKS HER IN A HIGH FORCETTO VOICE WHY SHE DOESN'T GET MARRIED AND PRATTLES TO HER ABOUT LOVE AND DOMESTIC BLISS AND YOUNG MEN AT ANY SUBJECT IT CAN THINK PARTICULARLY CALCULATED TO LACERATE THE POOR GIRL'S HEART UNTIL HER BRAIN NEARLY GIVES WAY
 up by asking why you don't seem to know anything, and why wouldn't anybody teach you anything when you were a little boy. The stage child does not wear a hole in the seat of its knickerbockers and have to have a patch let in. The stage child comes downstairs on its feet. The stage child never brings home six other children to play at horses in the front garden, and then wants to know if they can all come in to tea. The stage child never has the wooping-cough, and the measles, and every other disease that it can lay its hands on, and be laid up with them one after the other and turn the house upside down. The stage child's department in the scheme of life is to harrow up its mother's feelings by ill-timed and uncalled-for questions about its father. It always wants to know, before a roomful of people, where "dear papa" is, and why he has left dear mamma; when, as all the guests know, the poor man is doing his two years' hard or waiting to be hanged. It makes everybody so uncomfortable. ERSTAND AND THEN WIND UP BY ASKING YOU WHY YOU DON'T SEEM TO KNOW ANYTHING AND WHY WOULDN'T ANYBODY TEACH YOU ANYTHING WHEN YOU WERE A LITTLE BOY THE STAGE CHILD DOES NOT WEAR A HOLE IN THE SEAT OF HIS KNICKERBOCKERS AND HAVE TO HAVE A PATCH LET IN THE STAGE CHILD COMES DOWNSTAIRS ON ITS FEET THE STAGE CHILD NEVER BRINGS HOME SIX OTHER CHILDREN TO PLAY AT HORSES IN THE FRONT GARDEN AND THEN WANTS TO KNOW IF THEY CAN ALL COME IN TO TEA THE STAGE CHILD NEVER HAS HOOPING COUGH AND THE MEASLES AND EVERY OTHER DISEASE THAT HE CAN LAY HIS HANDS ON AND BE LAID UP WITH ONE OF THEM AFTER ANOTHER AND TURN THE HOUSE UPSIDE DOWN THE STAGE CHILD'S DEPARTMENT IN THE SCHEME OF LIFE IS TO HARROW UP ITS MOTHER'S FEELINGS BY ILL TIMED AND UNCALLED FOR QUESTIONS ABOUT ITS FATHER IT ALWAYS WANTS TO KNOW BEFORE A ROOMFUL OF PEOPLE WHERE DEAR PAPA IS AND WHY HE HAS LEFT DEAR MAMMA WHEN AS ALL THE GUESTS KNOW THE POOR MAN IS DOING HIS TWO YEARS HARD OR WAITING TO BE HANGED IT MAKES EVERYBODY SO UNCOMFORTABLE
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