large/1823/stage_land_0803_librivox_64kb_mp3/stageland_07_jerome_64kb_26
large/1823/stage_land_0803_librivox_64kb_mp3/stageland_07_jerome_64kb
English
1823
Many years ago, when we were young, we thought we would see if things were the same off the stage, and the next time we called at a certain friend's house we tried this business on. She wasn't quite so dazzlingly beautiful as they are on the stage, but we passed that. She showed us up into the drawing room, and then said she would go and tell her mistress we were there. MANY YEARS AGO WHEN WE WERE YOUNG WE THOUGHT WE WOULD SEE IF THINGS WERE THE SAME OFF THE STAGE AND THE NEXT TIME WE CALLED AT A CERTAIN FRIEND'S HOUSE WE TRIED THIS BUSINESS ON SHE WASN'T QUITE SO DAZZLINGLY BEAUTIFUL AS THEY ARE ON THE STAGE BUT WE PASSED THAT SHE SHOWED US INTO THE DRAWING ROOM AND THEN SAID WE SHOULD GO AND TELL THE MISTRESS WE WERE THERE
on, for the generosity of people on the stage to the servants there makes one seriously consider the advisability of ignoring the unremunerative professions of ordinary life and starting a new and more promising career as a stage servant. No one ever dreams of tipping the stage servant with less than a sovereign when they ask her if her mistress is at home or give her a letter to post, and there is quite a rush at the end of the piece to stuff five-pound notes into her hand. The good old man gives her ten. The stage servant is very impudent to her mistress, and the master--he falls in love with her and it does upset the house so. Sometimes the servant-girl is good and faithful, and then she is Irish. All good servant-girls on the stage are Irish. All the male visitors are expected to kiss the stage servant-girl when they come into the house, and to dig her in the ribs and to say: "Do you know, Jane, I think you're an uncommonly nice girl--click." They always say this, and she likes it. AVING UP SUFFICIENT TO MARRY ON FOR THE GENEROSITY OF PEOPLE ON THE STAGE TO THE SERVANTS THERE MAKES ONE SERIOUSLY CONSIDER THE ADVISABILITY OF IGNORING THE UNREMERATIVE PROFESSIONS OF ORDINARY LIFE AND STARTING A NEW AND MORE PROMISING CAREER AS A STAGE SERVANT NO ONE EVER DREAMS OF TIPPING THE STAGE SERVANT WITH LESS THAN A SOVEREIGN WHEN THEY ASK HER IF HER MISTRESS IS AT HOME OR GIVE HER A LETTER TO POST AND THERE IS QUITE A RUSH AT THE END OF THE PIECE TO STUFF FIVE POUND NOTES INTO HER HAND THE GOOD OLD MAN GIVES HER TEN THE STAGE SERVANT IS VERY IMPUDENT TO THE MISTRESS AND THE MASTER HE FALLS IN LOVE WITH HER AND HE DOES UPSET THE HOUSE SO SOMETIMES THE SERVANT GIRL IS GOOD AND FAITHFUL AND THEN SHE IS IRISH ALL GOOD SERVANT GIRLS ON THE STAGE ARE IRISH ALL THE MALE VISITORS ARE EXPECTED TO KISS THE STAGE SERVANT GIRL WHEN THEY COME INTO THE HOUSE AND DIG HER IN THE RIBS AND SAY DO YOU KNOW JANE I THINK YOU'RE AN UNCOMMONLY NICE GIRL CLICK THEY ALWAYS SAY THIS AND SHE LIKES IT
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