large/10173/little_masterpieces_of_american_wit_and_humor_vol_2_150_librivox_64kb_mp3/americanwitandhumor2_10_masson_64kb_55
large/10173/little_masterpieces_of_american_wit_and_humor_vol_2_150_librivox_64kb_mp3/americanwitandhumor2_10_masson_64kb
English
10173
By the common voice of this community, by acclamation of the people, that mighty utterance which brushes aside laws and legislation, and from whose decrees there is no appeal, I was named Perpetual Member of the Diplomatic Body representing the multifarious sovereignties and civilizations of the globe near the republican court of the United States of America. And they brought me home with a torchlight procession." "It is wonderful, Colonel    simply wonderful." "It's the loftiest official position in the whole earth." BY THE COMMON VOICE OF THIS COMMUNITY BY ACCLAMATION OF THE PEOPLE THAT MIGHTY UTTERANCE WHICH BRUSHES ASIDE LAWS AND LEGISLATION AND FROM WHOSE DECREE THERE IS NO APPEAL I WAS NAMED PERPETUAL MEMBER OF THE DIPLOMATIC BODY REPRESENTING THE MULTIFARY OF SOVEREIGNTIES AND CIVILIZATIONS OF THE GLOBE NEAR THE REPUBLICAN COURT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA AND THEY BROUGHT ME HOME WITH A TORCHLIGHT PROCESSION IT'S WONDERFUL COLONEL SIMPLY WONDERFUL IT IS THE LOFTIEST OFFICIAL POSITION IN THE WHOLE EARTH
He was stricken dumb; but the wide-eyed wonder, the reverent admiration expressed in his face, were more eloquent than any words could have been. The Colonel's wounded spirit was healed, and he resumed his seat, pleased and content. He leaned forward and said impressively: "What was due to a man who had become forever conspicuous by an experience without precedence in the history of the world--a man made permanently and diplomatically sacred, so to speak, by having been connected, temporarily, through solicitation, with every single diplomatic post in the roster of this Government, from Envoy Extraordinary and Minister Plenipotentiary to the Court of St. James's all the way down to Consul to a guano rock in the Straits of Sunda--salary payable in guano--which disappeared by volcanic convulsion the day before they got down to my name in the list of applicants? Certainly something august enough to be answerable to the size of this unique and memorable experience was my due, and I got it. 'S TURN TO BE AMAZED HE WAS STRICKEN DUMB BUT THE WIDE EYED WONDER THE REVERENT ADMIRATION EXPRESSED IN HIS FACE WERE MORE ELOQUENT THAN ANY WORDS COULD HAVE BEEN THE COLONEL'S WOUNDED SPIRIT WAS HEALED AND HE RESUMED HIS SEAT PLEASED AND CONTENT HE LEANED FORWARD AND SAID IMPRESSIVELY WHAT WAS DUE TO A MAN WHO HAD BECOME FOREVER CONSPICUOUS BY AN EXPERIENCE WITHOUT PRECEDENCE IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD A MAN MADE PERMANENTLY AND DIPLOMATICALLY SACRED SO TO SPEAK BY HAVING BEEN CONNECTED TEMPORARILY THROUGH SOLICITATION WITH EVERY SINGLE DIPLOMATIC POST IN THE ROSTER OF THIS GOVERNMENT FROM ENVOY EXTRAORDINARY AND MINISTER PLENIP ATUARY TO THE COURT OF SAINT JAMES'S ALL THE WAY DOWN TO CONSUL TO A GUANO ROCK IN THE STRAITS OF SUNDA SALARY PAYABLE IN GUANO WHICH DISAPPEARED BY VOLCANIC CONVULSION THE DAY BEFORE THEY GOT DOWN TO MY NAME IN THE LIST OF APPLICANTS CERTAINLY SOMETHING AUGUST ENOUGH TO BE ANSWERABLE TO THE SIZE OF THIS UNIQUE AND MEMORABLE EXPERIENCE WAS MY DUE AND I GOT IT
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