large/5332/intl_women_lit_1001_librivox_64kb_mp3/iwl-01_firstlove_eichelberg_64kb_69
large/5332/intl_women_lit_1001_librivox_64kb_mp3/iwl-01_firstlove_eichelberg_64kb
English
5332
At last, to get nearer to her, I thought I would do away with the cold crystal. AT LAST TO GET NEARER TO HER I THOUGHT I WOULD DO AWAY WITH THE COLD CRYSTAL
tical age of development, everything is alarming," said my father, who used to read books of medicine, and anxiously studied my dark eyelids, my dull eyes, my contracted and pale lips, and above all, the complete lack of appetite which had taken possession of me. "Play, boy; eat, boy," he would say to me, and I replied to him, dejectedly: "I don't feel inclined." They began to talk of distractions, offered to take me to the theater; stopped my studies, and gave me foaming new milk to drink. Afterwards they poured cold water over my head and back to fortify my nerves; and I noticed that my father at table or in the morning when I went to his bedroom to bid him good morning, would gaze at me fixedly for some little time, and would sometimes pass his hand down my spine, feeling the vertebrae. I hypocritically lowered my eyes, resolved to die rather than confess my crime. As soon as I was free from the affectionate solicitude of my family, I found myself alone with my lady of the portrait. S AND MY AUNT IN THIS DANGEROUS AND CRITICAL AGE OF DEVELOPMENT EVERYTHING IS ALARMING SAID MY FATHER WHO USED TO READ BOOKS OF MEDICINE AND ANXIOUSLY STUDIED MY DARK EYELIDS MY DULL EYES MY CONTRACTED AND PALE LIPS AND ABOVE ALL THE COMPLETE LACK OF APPETITE WHICH HAD TAKEN POSSESSION OF ME PLAY BOY EAT BOY HE WOULD SAY TO ME AND I REPLIED TO HIM DEJECTEDLY I DON'T FEEL INCLINED THEY BEGAN TO TALK OF DISTRACTIONS OFFERED TO TAKE ME TO THE THEATRE STOPPED MY STUDIES AND GAVE ME FOAMING NEW MILK TO DRINK AFTERWARDS THEY POURED COLD WATER OVER MY HEAD AND BACK TO FORTIFY MY NURSE AND I NOTICED THAT MY FATHER AT TABLE OR IN THE MORNING WHEN I WENT TO HIS BEDROOM TO BID HIM GOOD MORNING WOULD GAZE AT ME FIXEDLY FOR SOME LITTLE TIME AND WOULD SOMETIMES PASS HIS HAND DOWN MY SPINE FEELING THE VERTEBRA I HYPOCRITICALLY LOWERED MY EYES RESOLVED TO DIE RATHER THAN CONFESS MY CRIME AS SOON AS I WAS FREE FROM THE AFFECTIONATE SOLITUDE OF MY FAMILY I FOUND MYSELF ALONE WITH MY LADY OF THE PORTRAIT
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