large/5636/withumor_america_v2_1103_librivox_64kb_mp3/witandhumorofamerica02_40_various_64kb_27
large/5636/withumor_america_v2_1103_librivox_64kb_mp3/witandhumorofamerica02_40_various_64kb
English
5636
They laughed in confidence of their secret. Seffy, the successful wooer, was thawing out again. The diamond was not a diamond at all  the Hebrew who sold it to Seffy had confessed as much. But he also swore that if it were kept in perfect polish no one but a diamond merchant could tell the difference. Therefore, there being no diamond merchant anywhere near, and the jewel being always immaculate, Seffy presented it as a diamond and had risen perceptibly in the opinion of the vicinage. THEY LAUGHED IN CONFIDENCE OF THEIR SECRET SEFFIE THE SUCCESSFUL WOOER WAS THAWING OUT AGAIN THE DIAMOND WAS NOT A DIAMOND AT ALL THE HEBREW WHO SOLD IT TO SEFFIE HAD CONFESSED AS MUCH BUT HE ALSO SWORE THAT IF IT WERE KEPT IN PERFECT POLISH NO ONE BUT A DIAMOND MERCHANT COULD TELL THE DIFFERENCE THEREFORE THERE BEING NO DIAMOND MERCHANT ANYWHERE NEARER AND THE JEWEL BEING ALWAYS IMMACULATE SEFFIE PRESENTED IT AS A DIAMOND AND HAD RISEN PERCEPTIBLY IN THE OPINION OF THE VICINAGE
et a dollar that the first initial of his last name is Sephenijah P. Baumgartner, _Junior_." "Well!" said Seffy with a great flourish, "I'm going to set up with her to-night." "Oach--git out, Sef!"--though he knew it. "You'll see." "No, I won't," said his father. "I wouldn't be so durn mean. Nossir!" Seffy grinned at this subtle foolery, and his courage continued to grow. "I'm going to wear my high hat!" he announced, with his nose quite in the air. "No, Sef!" said the old man with a wonderful inflection, facing him about that he might look into his determined face. For it must be explained that the stovepipe hat, in that day and that country, was dedicated only to the most momentous social occasions and that, consequently, gentlemen wore it to go courting. "Yes!" declared Seffy again. "Bring forth the stovepipe, The stovepipe, the stovepipe--" chanted Seffy's frivolous father in the way of the Anvil Chorus. "And my butterfly necktie with--" "Wiss the di'mond on?" whispered his father. DN'T KNOW AND HE DID NOT RETURN THE KISS THOUGH HE YEARNED TO WELL I BET A DOLLAR THAT THE FIRST INITIAL OF HIS LAST NAME IS CEFFENIA P BAUMGARTENER JUNIOR WELL SAID SEFFIE WITH A GREAT FLOURISH I'M GOING TO SET UP WITH HER TO NIGHT UGH GET OUT SEFF THOUGH HE KNEW IT YOU'LL SEE NO I WON'T SAID HIS FATHER I WOULDN'T BE SO DURNED MEAN NO SIR SEBBY GRINNED AT THE SUBTLE FOOLERY AND HIS COURAGE CONTINUED TO GROW I AM GOING TO WEAR MY HIGH HAT HE ANNOUNCED WITH HIS NOSE QUITE IN THE AIR NO SEE EFF SAID THE OLD MAN WITH A WONDERFUL AFFLESH FACING HIM ABOUT THAT HE MIGHT LOOK INTO HIS DETERMINED FACE IT MUST BE EXPLAINED THAT THE STOVEPIPE HAT IN THAT DAY IN THAT COUNTRY WAS DEDICATED ONLY TO THE MOST MOMENTOUS SOCIAL OCCASIONS AND THAT CONSEQUENTLY GENTLEMEN WORE IT TO GO COURTING YES DECLARED SEFFIE AGAIN BRINGING FORTH THE STOVEPIPE THE STOVEPIPE THE STOPE PIPE CHANTED SEFFIE'S FRIVOLOUS FATHER IN THE WAY OF THE ANVIL CHORUS AND MY BUTTERFLY NICK TIE WITH IS IT DIAMOND WHISPERED HIS FATHER
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