large/3914/beast_in_jungle_1012_librivox_64kb_mp3/beastjungle_4_james_64kb_29
large/3914/beast_in_jungle_1012_librivox_64kb_mp3/beastjungle_4_james_64kb
English
3914
"It _would_ be the worst," she finally let herself say. "I mean the thing I've never said." It hushed him a moment. IT WOULD BE THE WORST SHE FINALLY LET HERSELF SAY I MEAN THE THING I'VE NEVER SAID IT HUSHED HIM A MOMENT
" "Oh, oh!" May Bartram sounded over what she couldn't hide. It was almost a smothered groan. "You admitted it months ago, when I spoke of it to you as of something you were afraid I should find out. Your answer was that I couldn't, that I wouldn't, and I don't pretend I have. But you had something therefore in mind, and I see now how it must have been, how it still is, the possibility that, of all possibilities, has settled itself for you as the worst. This," he went on, "is why I appeal to you. I'm only afraid of ignorance to-day--I'm not afraid of knowledge." And then as for a while she said nothing: "What makes me sure is that I see in your face and feel here, in this air and amid these appearances, that you're out of it. You've done. You've had your experience. You leave me to my fate." Well, she listened, motionless and white in her chair, as on a decision to be made, so that her manner was fairly an avowal, though still, with a small fine inner stiffness, an imperfect surrender.  NOTHING HE SHOOK HIS HEAD YOU CAN'T HIDE IT OH OH MAY BARTRAM SOUNDED OVER WHAT SHE COULDN'T HIDE IT WAS ALMOST A SMOTHERED GROAN YOU ADMITTED IT MONTHS AGO WHEN I SPOKE OF IT TO YOU AS OF SOMETHING YOU WERE AFRAID I SHOULD FIND OUT YOUR ANSWER WAS THAT I COULDN'T THAT I WOULDN'T AND I DON'T PRETEND I HAVE BUT YOU HAD SOMETHING THEREFORE IN MIND AND I SEE NOW HOW IT MUST HAVE BEEN HOW IT STILL IS THE POSSIBILITY THAT OF ALL POSSIBILITIES HAS SETTLED ITSELF FOR YOU AS THE WORST THIS HE WENT ON IS WHY I APPEAL TO YOU I'M ONLY AFRAID OF IGNORANCE TO DAY I'M NOT AFRAID OF KNOWLEDGE AND THEN AS FOR A WHILE SHE SAID NOTHING WHAT MAKES ME SURE IS THAT I SEE IN YOUR FACE AND FEEL HERE IN THIS AIR AND AMID THESE APPEARANCES THAT YOU'RE OUT OF IT YOU'VE DONE YOU'VE HAD YOUR EXPERIENCE YOU LEAVE ME TO MY FATE WELL SHE LISTENED MOTIONLESS AND WHITE IN HER CHAIR AS ON A DECISION TO BE MADE SO THAT HER MANNER WAS FAIRLY AN AVOWAL THOUGH STILL WITH A SMALL FINE INNER STIFFNESS AN IMPERFECT SURRENDER
large/3914/beast_in_jungle_1012_librivox_64kb_mp3/beastjungle_4_james_64kb
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