large/3914/beast_in_jungle_1012_librivox_64kb_mp3/beastjungle_4_james_64kb_69
large/3914/beast_in_jungle_1012_librivox_64kb_mp3/beastjungle_4_james_64kb
English
3914
He had asked her that in the past often enough; they had, with the odd irregular rhythm of their intensities and avoidances, exchanged ideas about it and then had seen the ideas washed away by cool intervals, washed like figures traced in sea sand. HE HAD ASKED HER THAT IN THE PAST OFTEN ENOUGH THEY HAD WITH THE ODD IRREGULAR RHYTHM OF THEIR INTENSITIES AND AVOIDANCES EXCHANGED IDEAS ABOUT IT AND THEN HAD SEEN THE IDEAS WASHED AWAY BY COOL INTERVALS WASHED LIKE FIGURES TRACED IN SEA SAND
point he had never since ventured to press, vaguely fearing as he did that it might become a difference, perhaps a disagreement, between them. He had in this later time turned nervous, which was what he in all the other years had never been; and the oddity was that his nervousness should have waited till he had begun to doubt, should have held off so long as he was sure. There was something, it seemed to him, that the wrong word would bring down on his head, something that would so at least ease off his tension. But he wanted not to speak the wrong word; that would make everything ugly. He wanted the knowledge he lacked to drop on him, if drop it could, by its own august weight. If she was to forsake him it was surely for her to take leave. This was why he didn't directly ask her again what she knew; but it was also why, approaching the matter from another side, he said to her in the course of his visit: "What do you regard as the very worst that at this time of day _can_ happen to me?  WAS KEEPING FROM HIM IT WAS A POINT HE HAD NEVER SINCE VENTURED TO PRESS VAGUELY FEARING AS HE DID THAT IT MIGHT BECOME A DIFFERENCE PERHAPS A DISAGREEMENT BETWEEN THEM HE HAD IN THIS LATER TIME TURNED NERVOUS WHICH WAS WHAT HE IN ALL THE OTHER YEARS HAD NEVER BEEN AND THE ODDITY WAS THAT HIS NERVOUSNESS SHOULD HAVE WAITED TILL HE HAD BEGUN TO DOUBT SHOULD HAVE HELD OFF SO LONG AS HE WAS SURE THERE WAS SOMETHING IT SEEMED TO HIM THAT THE WRONG WORD WOULD BRING DOWN ON HIS HEAD SOMETHING THAT WOULD SO AT LEAST EASE OFF HIS TENSION BUT HE WANTED NOT TO SPEAK THE WRONG WORD THAT WOULD MAKE EVERYTHING UGLY HE WANTED THE KNOWLEDGE HE LACKED TO DROP ON HIM IF DROP IT COULD BY ITS OWN AUGUST WEIGHT IF SHE WAS TO FORSAKE HIM IT WAS SURELY FOR HER TO TAKE LEAVE THIS WAS WHY HE DIDN'T DIRECTLY ASK HER AGAIN WHAT SHE BUT IT WAS ALSO WHY APPROACHING THE MATTER FROM ANOTHER SIDE HE SAID TO HER IN THE COURSE OF HIS VISIT WHAT DO YOU REGARD AS THE VERY WORST THAT AT THIS TIME OF DAY CAN HAPPEN TO ME
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