large/6636/uncle_josh_punkin_centre_1112_librivox_64kb_mp3/unclejoshspunkincentrestories_22_stewart_64kb_13
large/6636/uncle_josh_punkin_centre_1112_librivox_64kb_mp3/unclejoshspunkincentrestories_22_stewart_64kb
English
6636
Thar wuz seven lightning rods on the barn, one on the hen house, one on the corn crib, one on the smoke house, two on the granery, three on the kitchen, six on my house, and one on the crab apple tree, and when I got thar that durned fool had the old muley cow cornered up a tryin' to put a lightnin' rod on her. Wall, I paid him fer what he had done, and thanked the Lord he hadn't done any more. THERE WAS SEVEN LIGHTNING RODS ON THE BARN ONE ON THE HEN HOUSE ONE ON THE CORN CRIB ONE ON THE SMOKE HOUSE TWO ON THE GRANARY THREE ON THE KITCHEN SIX ON MY HOUSE AND ONE ON THE CRAB APPLE TREE AND WHEN I GOT THERE THAT DURNED FOOL HAD OLE MULEY COW CORNERED UP AND TRYIN TO PUT A LIGHTNING ROD ON HER WELL I PAID HIM FOR WHAT HE HAD DONE AND I THANKED THE LORD HE HADN'T DONE ANY MORE
now you are criminally negligent? Why, my dear sir, I am astonished to think that a man of your jedgment and good common sense should allow yourself to----" Wall, about that time I'd got my breath and wits at the same time, and I sed, "Now hold on, gosh durn ye, what hav ye got to sell anyhow?" Wall, he told me he had some lightnin' rods, and he brought out a little masheen and told me to take hold of the handles and he'd show me what a powerful thing 'lectricity wuz. Wall, I took hold of them handles and he turned on a crank, and that durned masheen jist made me dance all over the porch, and it wouldn't let go. Gee whiz, I felt as though I'd fell in a yeller jacket's nest, and about four thousand of 'em wuz a stingin' me all to onct. Wall, I told him I guessed he could put up a lightning rod or two, seein' as how I didn't hav any. Wall, he went to work and I went over to Ezra Hoskins', and when I got back home my place wuz a sight to behold; it looked like a harrer turned upside down. IN THE SOUND OF MY VOICE DON'T YOU KNOW THAT YOU ARE CRIMINALLY NEGLIGENT WHY MY DEAR SIR I AM ASTONISHED TO THINK THAT A MAN OF YOUR JUDGMENT AND GOOD COMMON SENSE SHOULD ALLOW YOURSELF TO WHILE ABOUT THAT TIME I GOT MY BREATH AND MY WITS AT THE SAME TIME AND I SAID NOW HOLD ON GOSH DURN YE WHY'D YOU GOT TO SELL ANYHOW WELL HE TOLD ME HE HAD SOME LIGHTING RODS AND HE BROUGHT OUT A LITTLE MACHINE AND TOLD ME TO TAKE HOLD OF THE HANDLES AND HID SHOW ME WHAT A POWERFUL THING ELECTRICITY WAS WELL I TOOK HOLD OF THEM HANDLES AND HE TURNED ON A CRANK AND THAT DURNED MACHINE JEST MADE ME DANCE ALL OVER THE PORCH AND IT WOULDN'T LET GO GEE WHIZ I FELT AS THOUGH I'D FELL IN A YELLOW JACKET'S NEST AND ABOUT FOUR THOUSAND OF EM WAS A STINGING ME ALL THE ONCE WELL I TOLD HIM I GUESS HE COULD PUT UP A LIGHTNIN ROT OR TWO SEEIN'S HOW I DIDN'T HAVE ANY WELL HE WENT TO WORK AND I WENT OVER TO EZER HOSKINS AND WHEN I GOT BACK HOME MY PLACE WAS A SIGHT TO BEHOLD IT LOOKED LIKE A HAIR TURNED UPSIDE DOWN
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