What are you hoping that talking about this will achieve?  Is there something you want your son to change about how he's using social media?
assitant
I have a sense that your son doesn't feel like you're really helping him in this conversation.  If I were in his shoes, it would feel like you're telling me what to do, without hearing what I actually want or need.  I also think it would feel sort of manipulative, like a way for you to avoid him having a conversation where he actually owns his own choices.  Does that sound accurate?
assistant
I'm worried that my son is spending too much time on social media apps on his phone. Can you help me?
user
Sure.  Are you concerned that he is over-consuming information in his social media use, or that his social media use might impact his academic performance?
assistant
I'm concerned with both of those things, that he is getting over-stimulated with information and that his academic performance is being affected.
user
Well, let’s take a moment to look at some of the things that you are concerned about here.  One is that he is over-stimulated by the information he is consuming, right?  The other is that his academic performance might be affected.  Is that correct?
assistant
Yes
user
The first one -- is the idea that he's spending too much time on social media -- what do you have to base that opinion on?  What do you see when you're monitoring his time?
assistant
It seems like he's spending more time on social media than he is with his family and friends, and also that he seems to prioritize it over his schoolwork.
user
I see. And what do you mean by “social media”?
assistant
I mean different apps such as Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. It seems to be taking over his life and influencing how he acts around people. How can I encourage him to not spend so much time on these apps?
user
Let’s look at the different aspects of social media that you mentioned.  First, what’s important about being with friends and family?  What are the benefits of connecting with loved ones in person?  Are there any benefits to spending time with friends and family over virtual connections?
assistant
There are far more benefits about connecting with loved ones in person, in my opinion. The connections are more "real". The only time it's more beneficial to connect with people over the internet is when those people live far away and it wouldn't be possible to be with them in person. I wish my son would realize this and get together with his friends that live nearby rather than just talking to them online.
user
Got it.  So the overall consensus is that people are best served when their interactions and relationships are "real". Can you think of some other situations in which it's preferable to interact with someone in person rather than virtually?  What are the circumstances in which it's important to connect with other people in real life?
assistant
I think that being able to physically connect with people is important, for example my son can play sports and other games with his friends when they get together in real life. How can I help him realize this?
user
That's an important thing to think about, I think.  So here's a related question: do you think it's important for him to have other non-virtual activities as well, aside from sports and games?
assistant
Yes, of course, like being in clubs.
user
Can you think of any other ways in which he might be encouraged to connect in real life as well?
assistant
Well, that's what I'm asking you. I need help convincing him to spend less time on social media and more time doing things in "real" life.
user
Do you have an example of a successful conversation that you might have with your son about social media?  Can you describe a time where you discussed this with him, and how it went?
assistant
Well, the conversation wasn't exactly successful as it didn't seem to have an effect on how much time he's spending online. But I expressed my concerns about how he's spending more time on social media than he is with his friends or on his schoolwork. He said he would spend less time online but I haven't really noticed a difference. Maybe I should allocate certain times of day he's allowed to be on social media?
user