Photo : Pixabay Did you forget? Mother’s Day is this Sunday, which means you should probably send your mom a card right this second—and even if you’re the lazy type, there are plenty of easy options. Advertisement Services like Postable will send a card in the mail on your behalf with “patented” real handwriting and Postagram will turn any of your Instagrams into a postcard with a signed message. Or if you’re cutting it really close, both From You Flowers and FTD offer same-day flower delivery, so your mom can receive a last-minute bouquet. If you’re looking for something a little more environmentally-friendly, Bouq also offers sustainably-sourced flowers, which come at a slightly higher cost, but might be worth the price to stay green. (The flower business can be a wasteful one given the use of chemicals and single-use cellophane packaging involved.) And there are a ton of Mother’s Day deals online, too, including some major discounts on Google and Apple devices, if your mom wants to find a new way to reach you at all hours of the day. And give her a call, goddamnit—that’s the best gift after all.<doc-sep>Mother’s Day is on Sunday, and the time to get your mom a gift is dwindling. You can head to the mall or computer to shop online for mom, or you can show her exactly what’s in your heart by going the do-it-yourself route. There are tutorials for all sorts of things mom might like, and suggestions for homemade cards, flowers and a lot of other gifts. Check out these DIY Mother’s Day gift ideas: Rachel Ray has some ideas for DIY gifts mom will "actually want." Mom would love to festoon the refrigerator door with magnets that have photos of her family. That's one of the 11 ideas Our Habitat offers. From Nia Chantal, come a few DIY gift ideas mom would like to get. Who says no to a cupcake bouquet? It’s not too late to pull together a Mother’s Day gift 🎁 https://t.co/DCtwFqE8l9 — Niachantal.com (@Niachantal_com) May 10, 2019 What about a bed tray with your child's artwork? Or for older children, how about a nice letter to mom? Here, from somuchbetterwithage.com, are directions. For kids who want to make mom something homemade, here are some ideas for cards and paper craft gifts. Related stories: Cox Media Group<doc-sep>My mother died eight years ago. While the loss gets easier, Mother’s Day does not. Even just seeing those two words — Mother’s Day — makes me feel very small and sad. It reminds me of all the Mother’s Days, birthdays, Thanksgivings, and Christmases I’ve spent without her and will have to spend without her in the future. Sure, it’s a nice thought that millions of people are celebrating their mom. But it doesn’t make me feel any better about mine being gone. Getting through the day itself actually isn’t that big of a struggle. The worst part is the six-week lead-up of commercials, promotional emails, and targeted ads fueled by narrow-minded marketing calendars. Brands act as though I could possibly forget Mother’s Day when I’d give anything for the chance to scramble for a last-minute gift for Mom; it’d mean that I have something to forget in the first place. “Don’t be late for Mom!” Kate Spade insists. “Call Mom tomorrow,” Anthropologie demands. “We can always count on Mom to make sure we have a warm meal,” Seamless explains, before pivoting to sell me an e-gift card. Mother’s Day is one of the most commercialized holidays of the year, and it’s impossible to ignore its profitability. In the weeks leading up, you can’t watch TV, open Facebook, or online shop without seeing ads reminding you to buy your mom a gift. In 2018, the National Retail Federation estimated that US consumers were expected to spend $23.1 billion on Mother’s Day — an average of $180 per person — on flowers, jewelry, greeting cards, gift cards, clothing, books, electronics, and housewares. For a day that’s supposed to celebrate moms for all that they do, the increasingly promotional tone of Mother’s Day can take the fun out of it. Even Anna Jarvis, who founded Mother’s Day in 1908 to honor her late mother, grew frustrated with the commercialization of the holiday and confessed that she regretted ever starting it. Mother’s Day is about celebrating all of the mothers in our lives, living or dead, biological or not, and whether they’re our own mother or not (or even a mother at all). But there’s something insulting about the default assumption that everybody’s mother is alive and that they have a good relationship with her — especially for an industry that increasingly prides itself on the ability to precisely target audiences with relevant messaging. By now, you’re likely used to Facebook, Instagram, Amazon, and every other corner of the web tracking your clicks and using your browsing history to sell you products and ideas. Amazon recently launched a skin care line that’s likely informed by customer search data. Retargeting, which is seeing ads for items you viewed online but didn’t buy, is a daily occurrence. Sometimes these targeted ads are so specific to our private needs and interests it can feel like a personal attack. How come Big Data doesn’t know my mom is dead? I have two dogs, read a lot of books, collect houseplants, and enjoy needlepoint. I also suffer from chronic migraines, recently developed jawline acne, and am paying off credit card debt accrued from costly vet bills. I’m targeted accordingly. Like cat food or baby clothes, Mother’s Day is simply not relevant to me. So being hit over the head with Mother’s Day messaging feels like a technological flaw. How come Big Data doesn’t know my mom is dead? I know that excluding individuals from massive marketing opportunities is a lofty ask. But at the same time — is it? If I can be added to the list of users to target for dog treats, it only seems logical that I could also be taken off the list of users to target for Mother’s Day. I’m not the only person frustrated with Mother’s Day messaging. Last year, Cailin, a college student, lost her mother to an aggressive brain tumor. This will be her first Mother’s Day without her mom, and she wishes she could make the advertising stop. “Mother’s Day ads have been popping up on my social media since the beginning of April,” she told me. “Seeing these ads makes me sad, angry, and ruins my focus. There’s nothing like going through your day and getting an email with a smiling face of a mom, an adult daughter, and a granddaughter telling you [to] celebrate someone you lost with a moment you’ll never have.” Mother’s Day isn’t just difficult for people whose mothers passed away. It’s also difficult for those who have a strained or estranged relationship with theirs. “When my father died, my mom abandoned having any parental influence and left me to fend for both her and myself when I was 18. Ten years later, she only reaches out when she needs something,” Stephanie, a social media account supervisor, told me. “Both Mother’s Day and Father’s Day are incessant reminders that I’ll likely never get what I’ve always wanted: close relationships with stable parents. The reminders no longer hurt my feelings, but they do annoy the shit out of me.” It’s not that people are anti-Mother’s Day; it’s that they personally could do without the constant reminders. “I love moms and believe they should be celebrated,” Cailin added. “But it’s extremely difficult to get through the days with extra reminders that she’s gone.” If companies are going to keep mining our lives for data, they could at least try a little harder There’s a legion of motherless mourners out there but most companies aren’t catching on. Still, in March, prior to the British celebration of Mother’s Day, UK-based flower delivery company Bloom & Wild did something different: They acknowledged that Mother’s Day can be a sensitive day for many and gave their customers the ability to opt out of receiving Mother’s Day emails altogether. A few weeks later, men’s apparel brand Chubbies did something similar, giving their subscribers the chance to opt out of both Mother’s Day and Father’s Day emails. “Many of our customers wrote in last Mother’s Day to tell us about their losses — mums, miscarriages, and grandmothers,” Sara Gordon, VP of brand and creative for Bloom & Wild, told me via email. “We ourselves have friends and family members that have gone through these traumas or didn’t grow up with a mother at all.” While it feels groundbreaking, this should be standard practice, and it certainly shouldn’t be news. But for now, it is. Brands cast a wide net on purpose to sell to as many people as possible, but it comes at the risk of alienating people in ways they could actually use as opportunities to gain their trust. If a florist (which sees plenty of its business on Mother’s Day) sees value in letting consumers opt out of Mother’s Day messaging, surely other companies can brainstorm ways to better target their customers, too. This level of preemptive customer service from Bloom & Wild is rare, but the customer relationship management (CRM) technology behind it is fairly simple. “We worked with our technology and CRM teams to devise a way to kindly ask if our customers didn’t want to hear from us about Mother’s Day marketing and then opt them out of specific emails during the period,” Gordon told me. “We knew it was the right thing to do, but we didn’t realize how much positive feedback we would get from doing it. The number of customers writing in to us with their stories and kind words reassured us how important and impactful this was to do for the women we serve with our flower service.” Of course, this goes far beyond Mother’s Day. People are incorrectly targeted every day: some recovering from eating disorders get ads about weight loss plans; others who can’t conceive or who are uninterested in having children get ads about capitalizing on fertility. And we’re still in the process of understanding just how much The All-Knowing Network of Algorithms knows about us and what it’s capable of. Hoping to add perspective from those who feed and manage these algorithms, I reached out to a number of tech companies that work with marketers to personalize individual users’ interactions online.<doc-sep>
These books explore the different facets of a mother-child relationship. (Source: Amazon.in) These books explore the different facets of a mother-child relationship. (Source: Amazon.in) The relationship between a mother and her child is inexplicable. The undying love and selfless support a mother gives her child can never be expressed in words. While each relation differs from the other, this, however, does not make one lesser or greater than the other. While there exists an overarching narrative of the way the relationship is supposed to be, the beauty lies in the unpalatable truths, the uncomfortable silences and the disparities. ALSO READ | Happy Mother’s Day 2019 Wishes Images, Quotes, Status, Wallpapers, Messages, SMS, Photos, Pics, and Greetings On Mother’s Day today, we bring you a list of books which have explored the various facets of this beautiful relationship. In case you plan to gift your mother something, these books can prove to be a thoughtful gift. Missing Mom by Joyce Carol Oates Missing Mom was published in 2007. (Source: Amazon.in) Missing Mom was published in 2007. (Source: Amazon.in) This 2007 novel traces the journey of Nikki Eaton, a 31-year-old self-dependent woman after her life takes an unexpected turn and she loses her mother. Focusing on the year after the mother’s death, the novel makes the reader privy to the guilt, sorrow, need for love and the loneliness Eaton goes through as she re-identifies what she had, and re-configures what she wants. Available at: Amazon.in Price: Rs 1,140 (paperback) ALSO READ | Small Days And Nights: Tishani Doshi’s novel expands the definition of motherhood Mom and Me and Mom by Maya Angelou The book focuses on the author’s relationship with her mother Vivian Baxter. (Source: Amazon.in) The book focuses on the author’s relationship with her mother Vivian Baxter. (Source: Amazon.in) The 2013 book is the last addition to Maya Angelou’s series of autobiographies. Much as the title reveals, the book focuses on the author’s relationship with her mother, Vivian Baxter, and does not shy away from addressing seemingly uncomfortable questions like why Angelou was abandoned by her. Available at: Amazon.in Price: Rs 455 (paperback) ALSO READ | Happy Mother’s Day 2019: Women talk about traditional recipes from their mother’s kitchen that they could never master All The Lives We Never Lived by Anuradha Roy Anuradha Roy’s novel is a must-read for more reasons than one. (Source: Amazon.in) Anuradha Roy’s novel is a must-read for more reasons than one. (Source: Amazon.in) This 2018 book is a searing portrayal of a relation between a mother and a son. Roy places the domestic against the political. The book is evocative, tender and perceptive on both grounds. The book is a triumph for the way it succeeds in presenting the idea of mother, that resembles less of who is an ideal and more of who is human. Available at: Flipkart.com Price: Rs 437 (paperback) ALSO READ | Happy Mother’s Day 2019: Whip up these easy desserts for your mother on this special day A Mercy by Toni Morrison Much like her acclaimed novel Beloved, A Mercy traces the story of a mother and a daughter. (Source: Amazon.in) Much like her acclaimed novel Beloved, A Mercy traces the story of a mother and a daughter. (Source: Amazon.in) Toni Morrison’s 2008 novel is posited in the familiar world of slavery in America, and within this the author masterfully weaves an evocative story of a mother and a daughter. Much like her acclaimed novel Beloved, A Mercy traces the story of a mother who lets go of her daughter to save her, and the daughter who never really gets over it till she identifies the ‘cruel act’ as merciful. Available at: Amazon.in Price: Rs 315 (paperback) ALSO READ | Happy Mother’s Day 2019: Meet the mompreneurs who have found the perfect balance All You Can Ever Know by Nicole Chung This 2018 novel is evocative, funny and moving in equal measure. (Source: Amazon.in) This 2018 novel is evocative, funny and moving in equal measure. (Source: Amazon.in) This 2018 novel is a delightful take on adoption, searching for one’s roots, and coming to terms with who one really is. Nicole Chung, who was born premature, was placed for adoption by her Korean parents. Later, she was raised by a white family. The novel traces her journey of finding her biological parents which also overlaps with her giving birth to her own child. Available at: Amazon.in Price: Rs 1,490 (hardcover)