HBO Well! That was...an episode. To recap: The Lannisters surrendered but for some reason Daenerys still decided to torch ALL OF KING'S LANDING. They really made her the Mad Queen and it made no sense. Meanwhile, Jaime got to Cersei just in time for the Red Keep to fall down on their heads. Arya arrived in King's Landing in time to want to escape. The Hound killed his brother, and also himself in the process. And most of the character development of the last seven seasons feels like it's been for nothing.<doc-sep>Game Of Thrones Season 8, Episode 5 Recap: The Bells Historically on Game of Thrones, the second to last episode packs the biggest punch of the lot – both emotionally and in terms of plotline. We’re talking episodes of Red Wedding proportions here, and this is the LAST EVER penultimate episode. It’s the episode that Emilia Clarke said would be the biggest of them all, and look, are we prepared? Do we feel ready for this? Are we crying already? Who’s to say? Last week saw the show setting up for a serious showdown between two power-hungry queens, we lost ourselves a dragon, Sansa was a bad arse and Jaime was a fool. Deep breaths, people. Let’s see what is yet to come. This post has been sponsored by Telstra. We open on a letter – and while we can’t see all of it, there’s just enough to note that in the (surprisingly neat) penmanship there contains details of Jon Snow’s true parentage. And who does it belong to? Varys. One of his little birds comes in – she’s been keeping an eye on Daenerys since the death of her best friend and dragon (RIP Missandei and Raeghal). Turns out Dany isn’t eating, and won’t let anyone in. Martha, the little bird, is worried that they’re watching her watch Daenerys (confusing but okay), and Varys assures her that yep, absolutely they are. Really reassuring bloke, he is. “The greater the risk, the greater the reward,” he tells her. Big “hmm”. Tyrion loves a bit of high ground, and we see Jon Snow and Ser Davos arriving on the beaches. Tyrion watches as Varys approaches him, telling him of how Daenerys hasn’t admitted anyone or eaten any food. He confesses that he’s worried – not just for her, but for everyone. “They say every time a Targaryen is born, the Gods toss a coin and the world holds its breath,” he says. “We both know what she’s going to do.” SHE GON’ DESTROY EVERYTHING. Obviously. And despite Jon’s dedication to his queen, Varys is already convinced. “I still don’t know where her coin has landed, but I’m quite certain about yours,” he says. Whether or not Jon wants the throne or not, it seems. “You will rule wisely and well, while she-,” he starts, before being bluntly interrupted by Jon. “She, is my queen.” Tyrion approaches a clearly suffering Dany. Her usually smooth and braided hair is all over the place like a blonde haze, and it’s reminiscent of how she wore her hair way back in the first few seasons, before she became queen. He is here to tell her of Varys’ treachery, but she already knows – kind of. She’s aware that someone has betrayed her. “Jon Snow?” “Varys.” But even faced with that knowledge Daenerys attributes it all back to Jon and Tyrion for feeding the information about Jon’s true parentage to Varys in the first place. And sure, it probably wasn’t super smart of Tyrion to have a gab about it with everyone, but still. “I’m glad Sansa told me,” he says. “I’m your hand. I need to be aware of any threats.” But Daenerys, as batshit crazy as she is in general, knows just as well as Tyrion does that deep down Sansa absolutely wanted the news to spread. But just as Dany says as she stares creepily out the window: “Doesn’t matter”. Later, Varys is in his chambers, and as he burns the papers and removes his jewellery, he knows the end has come for him, as the Unsullied pour into his room. They lead him to the beach, where Daenerys, Tyrion and Jon are already waiting. Tyrion approaches him and tells him that it was he who had told Daenerys of his betrayal. “I hope I deserve this, truly. I hope I’m wrong,” says Varys. He looks down at Tyrion, resigned. “Goodbye old friend.” Daenerys rattles off all her names again – breaker of bones, ruler of everything apparently, general psychopath. And she sentences him to die, as Drogon looms up behind them from the darkness. In a seriously unfeeling and cold tone, all she does is utter the word, “dracarys,” and her last remaining dragon rears up and spits flame onto Lord Varys, burning him alive and leaving him charred. Jon watches, looking worried at her actions. After returning to the sanctuary of the boats, it’s clear to see that Daenerys is still ruminating more on the death of Missandei than on the (probably still smoking) corpse of her former advisor. She speaks to Grey Worm about the collar that Missandei brought with her. She holds it in her hands, and bestows it upon him. But Grey Worm (shockingly enough) doesn’t want a collar that was the symbol of his now-dead lover’s slavery, so he casts it into the nearby fireplace. As gifts go, probably not the sweetest thing to give him. Jon approaches, and Daenerys whispers in High Valyrian that Grey Worm can leave her with him, so they are left in private. Gonna get awks, if you ask me. Daenerys still hasn’t forgotten that he spilled the beans on the secret that she practically commanded him to take to the grave. “What did I say would happen if you told your sister?” she says. “She killed Varys as much as I did.” First of all, don’t you sully my precious angel Sansa’s name here. Dany, gal, you definitely are the only one who’s responsible for roasting a man alive here. But she’s concerned about her following and it’s clear that paranoia is setting in. “I don’t have love here,” she says. “I only have fear.” Probably because she’s a psycho maybe? Jon is still a devoted broody boy though, and he tells her that he loves her, and that she’ll always be his queen. Naw, it’s cringey as all hell. Can’t get much worse than that. Except now she’s asking if that’s all she is to him, and is trying to kiss him again. Upping that cringe ante just a dash more, it seems, and honestly I don’t blame Jon for being reticent. Sorry Aunty D, your nephew actually doesn’t want to bone the crazy out of you on the regular – which is not a sentence that anyone thinks they’ll be writing when they graduate from a journalism degree with their eyes full of hope and excitement. But here we are. Daenerys is not fond of Jon pulling away (I can almost sympathise here, to be fair – I’d probs wanna keep kissing him too), but for her it’s a symbol of something more. “Alright then,” she whispers. “Let it be fear.” In Daenerys’ throne room, Tyrion is making a case for the innocents of King’s Landing – and he’s basically one of the few people in the show is actively fighting for them. Daenerys DGAF though, because to her, it’s showing mercy to future generations to ensure that nobody else is ruled by a tyrant. Weird logic, but okay. Tyrion pleads, saying, “If you hear the bells, call off the attack.” Reluctantly she nods, and tells Grey Worm to wait for her outside the city and hold off for her signal. “You’ll know when it’s time,” she says, and he walks out leaving her with Tyrion. He starts to leave too, until she stops him cold with her words. “Your brother was stopped trying to get past our lines,” she says. “It seems he hasn’t abandoned your sister after all.” “Next time you fail me will be the last time you fail me.” Tyrion then heads out to meet Ser Davos outside King’s Landing and tells him of their queen’s plan to attack by daybreak at the earliest. But that’s not all that he’s there for – Tyrion wants a favour from the ‘greatest smuggler alive’. “I’m not gonna like this favour, am I?” asks Ser Davos. Like it’s absolutely no big deal at all, Arya and the Hound just rock up to the army. “I’m Arya Stark, I’m here to kill Cersei,” she says. Honestly, you kill one Night King and you think you can just show up anywhere? Yep, seems fair, do go on. Tyrion however has a bit more trouble getting past the Unsullied guards, attempting High Valyrian and utterly botching it until they tell him they speak the Common Tongue after all. He wants to be alone with Jaime, and he sends them off immediately. Jaime isn’t doing so great, having stupidly left his literal solid gold hand on the whole time which was a spectacularly unsubtle way to point out to everyone that he’s Jaime fucking Lannister. Tyrion wants to change that though, and begs him to get himself and Cersei out of King’s Landing. To convince her to start a new life in Pentos – even telling him how to gain entry and exit into the Keep from a tunnel near the shore. His only condition? “Give the order to ring all the bells and open the gates in King’s Landing” before they go. But Jaime is hesitant, knowing that by freeing him, he’s pretty much guaranteeing himself to be accused of treason and put to death (in a similarly crispy fashion to Varys, no doubt). “Tens of thousands of innocent lives,” says Tyrion. “One not particularly innocent dwarf. Seems like a fair trade.” They share a sweet moment of brotherly affection, as Tyrion confides in Jaime that he was the only person he had as a child who didn’t treat him like a monster. The only reason he survived his childhood. And so if it keeps Jaime alive, even despite his own burning hatred for her, he’d find a way to let him leave with Cersei. Or kill Cersei, preferably, so he can scurry on back to Brienne. One of these boys is gonna die though, so don’t get too complacent. There’s no way they won’t, now that they’re being all huggy. We’re in King’s Landing now, and there’s a bunch of people scurrying about trying to get in formation, pop a hefty crossbow bolt into the Scorpions, or just straight up trying to get to safety. The music is ominous as we scan across the sea, where the Iron Fleet is waiting for Daenerys to show up with her dragons so they can play clay pigeons again. Euron’s on deck wearing some extra flamboyant clothes today and oh god I’ve just realised that he’s basically a mix of all the emo-looking boys that I had crushes on growing up – Bam Margera’s face (I KNOW, major #regret), Gerard Way’s stare, Brandon Urie’s fashion sense. COOL THIS IS FINE. Editor’s Note: Bam Margera!? You’re fired – Tegan. While I’m having this crisis of identity, Arya and the Hound just straight up walk into the Red Keep. Literally nobody notices or stops them. IN THEY GO. Tyrion is with Jon and his men, and warns him that if the bells sound, it means Cersei surrendered and that he should pull back his troops to avoid mass carnage. This sounds like it’s going to go just peachy, don’t you think? Inside, the keep is packed and they’re closing the doors, turning people away. Jaime doesn’t make it, even when he chucks his fancy gold hand in the air, waves it like he just don’t care, and tries to get the attention of the guards. He scurries away, trying to find another way into the Keep with the rest of the common folk. Outside, everything is quiet as Euron’s eyes scan the skies. All too late, he sees the dragon, dive-bombing from directly above them and jettisoning fire from its maw in gigantic destructive plumes. Whilst I’ve never really pondered the science behind the dragonfire, if it’s got anything to do with lung capacity then Drogon has some serious air control to be able to spurt so much for so long. (Utterly irrelevant note: I had to stop writing this for a hot second because the idea of a dragon essentially just going “HOOOO” around the battlefield made me lose it entirely.) Euron is frantically trying to move the crossbows into a position where they can actually shoot the dragon, but he and Daenerys are just too quick for them.<doc-sep>
Bloody hell. Game of Thrones season 8 gave us the series’ penultimate episode and, while certain plot points may have split fans, it’s inarguable that it gave us some of the show’s most iconic moments. From major deaths to battles seasons-in-the-making, here’s how the mild-mannered fans of Twitter treated Game of Thrones season 8, episode 5. Warning: Spoilers within! The whispers are no more The first, but most certainly not the last, named character to die in The Bells, Lord Varys went out on his own terms. Those terms, admittedly, were quickly jotting down a note and perishing in a blaze of fire and brimstone, but it could all be part of a long game to show just who the ruler of Westeros should be. Varys died doing what he loved: snitching #GameofThrones pic.twitter.com/TksJMZypYKMay 13, 2019 See more R.I.P to Lord VarysFirst of his nameKing of the Messy Bitches Who Live For DramaMaster of WhispersFather of SpidersLord of the Tea Trees and Shady PinesThe One True Protector of the Realm#GameOfThrones #TheLastWar pic.twitter.com/hLj0T0yqOwMay 13, 2019 See more They killed my fave this week so let me rant a bitHow the fuck does Varys, the master of whisperers, whose one job all these years was to get on top of information, died because of a basic ass gossip 😖🚮#GameOfThronesMay 13, 2019 See more Varys since he knew what was coming...#GoT #DemThrones pic.twitter.com/eecVelV3XxMay 13, 2019 See more Let it burn Hey, speaking of fire and brimstone, Dany made good on her angry, angry facial expressions last week by, welp, burning down half of King’s Landing. Women, children, and Lannister soldiers (who had already given up. Hasn’t the Mother of Dragons read the Geneva Conventions?!) were burnt to a crisp, with the likes of Arya only getting out of harm’s way just in the nick of time. Of course, there was more than one Pikachu Face in response. #GameOfThrones Dany: Burns something every season slowly descending into the Mad QueenGoT Fans: Yaay 👏🏽Dany: Burns Kings LandingGoT Fans: pic.twitter.com/XzovDzeJtpMay 13, 2019 See more if u say that its shit writing to turn Dany crazy... you haven't beem paying attention #GameofThrones pic.twitter.com/MXlyrOQVkVMay 13, 2019 See more The writers of #GameofThrones with Dany's character development like - pic.twitter.com/Tc6JdFOxuSMay 13, 2019 See more Dany rejoining the Starks after taking down King's Landing like pic.twitter.com/UYBxkvmhTcMay 13, 2019 See more Euron vs. Jaime Maybe not the mano y mano fight we were expecting from this episode, but the two clashed nonetheless on the beaches of King’s Landing. It was a brutal, visceral scrap, too, with both getting their licks in. In the end, though, Jaime came out on top – even if he was mortally wounded in the process. This might be the first time I've actually felt disappointed in a #GoT episode. For example, I get that Euron and Jamie had beef, but a fight to the death in that moment made absolutely no sense. #DemThronesMay 13, 2019 See more Pettiest award goes to Euron, clearly can see they about to die but would rather pick a fight and tell a man he fucked his chick. 😭😭 pic.twitter.com/cBZ4UccdmDMay 13, 2019 See more Euron Greyjoy has to be the worst character in the entire Game of Thrones run. That guy had no depth & pretty much served no real purposeMay 13, 2019 See more Episode 6 preview , Euron’s elephants finally arrive. #GameofThrones pic.twitter.com/DYyVqXaP5vMay 13, 2019 See more Cleganebowl, baby Finally. Words can’t really do this one justice; it’ll surely rank up there as one of the show’s finest moments when the dust (and ash) has settled. Not since The Viper vs. The Mountain has the audience been so enthralled by the twists and turns of a Thrones fight. When you realize the poetic justice wherein The Hound takes The Mountain into the Fire to end it all.#CleganeBowl #GameofThrones pic.twitter.com/mCq4oIPOpYMay 13, 2019 See more Cersei walking past Sandor & Gregor during #CleganeBowl #GameofThones pic.twitter.com/qj8K3vIndgMay 13, 2019 See more I don’t care about anyone’s opinion on the episode, this scene was outrageous #GameofThrones #CleganeBowl pic.twitter.com/MIhy2zEeWBMay 13, 2019 See more The mountain finally taking off his helmet #GameofThrones #CLEGANEBOWL pic.twitter.com/DXwjyNhF5WMay 13, 2019 See more Bricking it Is this Game of Thrones season 8’s most divisive scene? Almost definitely. Cersei and Jaime seemingly met their ends as the walls collapsed around them. No Arya revenge kill, no Jaime mercy kill, just Cersei hugging her brother and the world falling on top of her. Ouch. Cersei died from bricks fam.