What does it mean that “honor your father and mother” is the first commandment with a promise (Ephesians 6:2)?

Answer  
  

Ephesians 6:2–3 reads, “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land” (ESV). In this instruction, there is a reference to the fifth of the [Ten Commandments](Ten-Commandments.html). The reason we should honor our parents is that God commanded us to do so. But there is an additional motivation: when God gave the law, He promised to lengthen the days of obedient children. So, there is a promise attached to the commandment.  
  

In Ephesians 4—6, Paul addresses a range of behaviors that are appropriate for believers. Ephesians 6:1–4 specifically focuses on family dynamics, particularly the relationship between children and parents. Paul’s instruction to “honor your mother and father” (verse 2\) not only reinforces an Old Testament principle but also recontextualizes it within Christian households.  
  

The commandment to “[honor your father and mother](honor-father-mother.html)” is found in Exodus 20:12 and in the repetition of the law in Deuteronomy 5:16\. Paul distinguishes this command as “the first commandment with a promise.” This promise that “your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you” (Exodus 20:12, NKJV) implies earthly blessings and well\-being, conditional upon the respectful treatment of one’s parents.  
  

Not only is the fifth commandment the first one of the Ten with a promise attached, but it is the only one of the Decalogue to include a direct promise. In the rest of the Mosaic Law, there are many similar promises. As the Ten Commandments serve as a summarized introduction to the law, the command to obey one’s parents is indeed the first of many commandments to have a promise. Also, the fifth commandment is “first” in the second tablet of the law, which deals with human relationships. This placement indicates a transition from our duties toward God (the first tablet) to our duties toward others (the second tablet). The family, then, is our primary social unit.  
  

Paul’s reiteration of this “first commandment with promise” (Ephesians 6:2, NKJV) is important for several reasons. First, it highlights the continuity between Old and New Covenant ethics. While believers are not under the Mosaic Law, the moral and ethical teachings of the law are still operative.  
  

Second, by mentioning the promise associated with this commandment, Paul elevates the importance of the Christian family and its impact in society. Furthermore, Paul combines moral obligation with God’s blessing.  
  

The promise attached to the commandment communicates the idea that love, respect, and care within the family are foundational to a flourishing society. It is also foundational to our relationship with God, a principle reflected in Leviticus 19:3: “Every one of you shall revere his mother and his father, and you shall keep my Sabbaths: I am the Lord your God” (ESV).  
  

In Mark 7:10, Jesus reaffirms the first commandment with promise: “Moses said, ‘Honor your father and mother,’ and, ‘Anyone who curses their father or mother is to be put to death.’” God’s will involves honoring one’s parents, a truth found throughout Scripture. Genuine faith honors God and family.  
  

The original promise of the commandment referred to prolonged life “in the land,” that is, in the Promised Land. The New Testament understanding interprets this promise in light of Christ’s coming kingdom. For Paul, obeying this commandment has benefits in this life, but those blessings are merely a shadow of the new creation, in which all relationships are perfectly restored (Revelation 21:1–4\).  
  

