7th Heaven
Major League

Episode Report Card
Daniel: F | Grade It Now!
Ruthie's World! Party Time! Excellent!

So Cecilia is bringing Sam and David, the Wonder Twins, into the kitchen, and Annie's all, "Where've you been? You've been gone for hours!" and the twins say, "It's a surprise! For you!" but Annie has to make them not actually spill the beans as to what this stupid surprise is, and maybe she might want to ask Cecilia about keeping the twins out for hours without Annie's having any idea where they are. Nope, she just invites Cecilia to supper. Makes sense, I guess. Cecilia deserves some kind of reward for taking the twins out of Annie's hair for the day.

The doorbell rings, and RevCam opens it to find Chandler there, scratching his forehead because he's deep in thought, like, whatever is bugging Chandler is so absorbing that he rings the doorbell and then goes back to scratching his forehead. And Chandler explains that his dad made him the executor of his estate, and it's Chandler's theory that his dad did this because he hated Chandler, and RevCam is sure that can't be true. Chandler: "He put me in charge as a way of saying, 'Ha! I may be dead, but I can still make you miserable!'" So refuse to do it, suggests RevCam, and how nice of the RevCam to suggest that Chandler shirk his dead father's last wishes, and Chandler rejects this since he's too "responsible" or some such, and RevCam can barely hide his irritation as he asks if there's anything he can do, and when Chandler says there isn't, RevCam says, "Then why are you here?" and I feel so sorry for the churchgoers saddled with these two vicious, petty ministers running the show, and RevCam, no dummy, invites Chandler to stay for dinner, which of course Chandler accepts. As Chandler walks past him, RevCam actually seems to glare at him, like, you can totally tell how much Stephen Collins hates still being on this show.

Back at the school, Martin shows up in his coach's office, and Coach says, "The assistant coach said you were still here," like maybe Coach doesn't know the name of this assistant coach, such is the level of writing on this show, and Martin says that he ran "an extra five miles" and then hit the weight room, and Coach smiles this of-course-you-did- you're-my-dedicated- star-player smile, and then introduces the guy who's been in the office all along but who Martin managed not to see, and it's the stranger from practice, who turns out to be a scout for the (phoney baloney) "Miami Gators." Martin says they're "a great team" that almost went to the Series last year. The scout says, "Would you like to play for them? Would you like to be a Gator? Martin?" and I guess Martin's supposed to be speechless and that's why the scout kept asking him questions, only the scout didn't even give Martin any time to answer any of his damn questions anyway, like, not even any of the bit players on this show know how to act, and Martin says something about its being his dream to play pro ball, in the continuing tradition of 7th Heaven actors having to explain what emotion they're feeling, since they are unable to express it through their acting. Commercials.


7th Heaven




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