"Don't leave me!"

"That's kind of hard considering you're latched onto my arm like a leach."

"If I wasn't you would leave me!"

"I am not going to leave you, Soul! Especially when you're like this."

"Mmmm…Like what?"

"If this is your way of getting back at me last month, I've learned my lesson and I'm sorry!"

"Hold me."

"No, get off. It's warm in here."

"God, you're so mean, Maka-chan!"

"And you're intoxicated beyond belief."

"Hehe. You use big words that I can't understand."


"No. 'And.'"

"…..You're a big doofus, you know that?"

"I just wanna hug!"

"And I just want to go home. But you're the one who drove us here and I can't drive a motorcycle. Our house is way too far away to walk."

"Pfft. I can drive! S'long as you promise to hold on tight."

"You can't even understand a three-lettered word. I really doubt that you can operate heavy machinery."

"You just gotta believe!"

"I already called Kid, he's on his way to pick us up. Really, Soul. Can't you just be responsible for once?"

"Mmmmm. You're warm~"

"Actually, I'm sweltering. Get off."

"But then you'll leave me!"

"I already told you: I'm staying here with you. There's nothing to worry about."

"You can't leave me, Maka! If you do I'll have nowhere to go! I'll have to live on the streets."

"You act as if you let go of me I'm going to kick you out of the apartment. I just need some air to breathe! Is that too much to – oh no are you crying?"

"Y-you're kicking me out? What'd I do?"

"I never said that."

"Don't go! Don't leave! Stay with meeee~"

"Soul! Stop acting like my papa! You two are so alike when you're drunk!"

"Maka-chaaan~ You're really hot right now."

"That would be because your practically swallowing me with your body and we're in a room with no air conditioning."

"No, I mean you're smokin' hot."

"Just about."

"Fuckin' sexy, man."



"Soul, let's go out front. Maybe cool air will do you good."

"Don't walk away! No, don't leave! I'm sorry!"

"Just follow me you idiot!"

"Promise me that you'll…."

"….Yes, Soul?"

"Don't leave me."

"You're awfully clingy when you're drunk, too. I'm not leaving you, Soul."

"Good. If you did, I'd be on the streets."

"Well, I don't think that you'd necessarily – "

"And no one would hire me."

"Oh you know that's not true! You're very skilled and talented and I'm sure –"

"And I'd get stuck being a male stripper."

"….Where in the hell did you come up with that conclusion?"

"Do you want me to be a male stripper?"

"Well, I – "

"No, don't answer that. Just hold me."

"Soul, why are you always so difficult?"

"'M not difficult."

"If you say so. Just take a deep breath of cool air and relax until Kid gets here."

"Why? Is he your boyfriend?"

"What? You know that's not true!"

"I don't know if it's false either!"

"That's because you're incapable of proper thinking right now!"

"Stop using big words you freaking bookworm!"

"At least I'm a bookworm and not a drunkard!"

"Hehe. You were last month."

"You said you'd never bring that up again!"

"Did I now?"


"Quite frankly, I don't remember that."

"But you remember last month?"

"Crystal clear."

"Drunken minds work oddly."

"They also like company. C'mere."


"But it's not hot anymore. In fact, it's pretty cold."

"Yeah. And?"

"So come here. Lemme hold you."

"I'd rather you stay away from me."

"Bet you wouldn't say that to Kid."

"Why are we on that topic again?"

"Because you brought it up!"

"Actually, that was you."


"Just now."

"So you'll let me hold you?"

"How did you get to that conclusion from what we were talking about?"

"What were we talking about?"

"….I can't tell if you're playing dumb or if you really forgot."

"Mmmm. You're cold. I'll warm you up."

"Hey! Get off."

"Don't wanna. I'm sleepy."

"Then sleep on concrete!"

"You're much softer."

"I don't care and – wait a minute."

"Hmmm. Maka-chan what are you doing?"

"Your breath…."

"What about it?"

"It doesn't smell like alcohol."


"Soul Eater Evans…."

"Well looky there! It's my bike! Who would've guessed?"

"For someone who's a bookworm, you sure are slow."


Author's Comments:

Awfully short, I know. But I was re-reading the reviews and chapters of "Never Again" and I saw one that said they wanted to see Soul drunk. So I decided to do that, but instead came up with this. This is not intended to be that funny, not have any plot. I just did it out of pure boredom.

Also, I wrote this because of my lack of updating anything because I got stuck on "Grigori's Promise." I have the 6th chapter planned out, just not written, per se. The reason I don't want to continue writing it is because I have yet to plan out the 7th chapter. I know where I'm going, but I'm still figuring out how to get there.

Idk. I'll get there eventually. Next month for sure (even if the 7th chapter is not planned I will update the 6th).