Originally created 01/18/00

Contradictory behavior should be questioned


"Me and my boyfriend have been dating for four months. At school he acts like we don't even go out and doesn't pay any attention to me, but in public he's all over me." -- 17-year-old Augusta girl

Here's what you had to say:

The same thing happened to me, and what I did was ignore him just like he was doing to me. What he wants is attention from you, but he doesn't want to give you any attention. Don't worry about it. Just ignore him for a while and I guarantee he'll be all in your face.

Ask him what's going on and tell him if he doesn't want to be with you, y'all should break up. Tell him you like him, but he shouldn't be ashamed that you are his girlfriend.

You need to talk to him. If he can't change, then you need to cut him loose because he's only using you for a front in public.

If he was your boyfriend he wouldn't treat you that way. He's not the one for you because if he was, he'd hang on you everywhere you go and show all his friends who he wants to be with.

Xtreme reporter Margaret Weston says:

You can look at this situation two ways:

First, he could be just trying to use you for sex if he's "all over" you in public, but there's not much else to the relationship. If the only thing you do when you spend time with this guy is make out, he's probably not in it for intelligent, witty conversation. If that's the case, dump him.

On the other hand, he could just be uncomfortable with public displays of affection at school. Maybe he's worried his friends will rag on him. Maybe he thinks it's inappropriate or tacky at school. Ask him what he thinks.

You also need to look at what you expect from the relationship. Acting needy or pouting doesn't win friends, especially of the male variety.


"My boyfriend and I have been dating for four months. I knew from the beginning that he had a little girl, but I'm having a hard time dealing with it. But I love him, and I don't want to leave him alone. How should I deal with his little girl?"

Do you have any advice for this 16-year-old Augusta girl?

