Michael Holden's All ears


Man "Do you want to see some thing really depressing?"

Woman "What, off the internet?"

Man "No. They don't have that here. This is something on the computer. I look at it from time to time and I just... well, it blows me away."

Woman "Will I like it?"

Man "You're not meant to like it."

Woman "I mean will it upset me."

Man "Well, I dunno. I suppose it's more poignant than upsetting. It's just the calendar."

Woman "The calendar?"

Man "Yeah, check it out."

He began pawing extensively at the device's touchpad.

Man "Look, it goes backwards, it's like you're going back in time."

Woman "Why would you ever need that?"

Man "I don't know, but look, there goes the year I was born. This is normally when I start feeling sad."

Woman "I see what you mean. It's

a bit weird watching all the years roll by."

Man "I did it for ages once. You can scroll back to 1900. Well, actually it shows New Year's Eve 1899, but that's just because of the way the week's laid out."

Woman "What about looking at the future?"

Man "Eh?"

Woman "How far can you see into the future?"

Man "I've never tried."

Woman (excited) "Let's do it!"

Man (turning off laptop) "No, no. The battery might run out."