Find better matches with our advanced matching system

—% Match —% Friend —% Enemy


31 / M / Straight / Single

Salem, OR

My Details

Last Online
Online now!
6′ 0″ (1.83m)
Body Type
Strictly anything
Agnosticism, and laughing about it
Sagittarius, and it’s fun to think about
Dropped out of space camp
Politics / Government
More than $1,000,000
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Likes dogs and has cats
English (Poorly)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Update: I love affirmation, but I'm not paying $9.79 a month to see how many stars I get. So I decided I'm just going to crowdsource it, sorry Cupid, no profit for you. It's really simple, you click the stars, and if it's four or higher, you open a message box and lemme know. Alright, glad we got that figured out. Cheers.

First, sorry about the picture. I can get cocky, but I swear I'm not as arrogant, or as hung over, as that makes me look. I need more pictures, lets take some. I've also decided that suits are like the heavy narcotics of clothes. It may look and feel really good, but damn will it turn you into an asshole.

I'm irreverent, sarcastic, and suffer from a severe allergy to commitment. It's been brought to my attention that the last is common and actually fairly healthy, which was a huge blow to my ego.

I will never grow up. This is a choice. That doesn't mean I won't choose what I'm responsible for, or accept unavoidable consequences.

Work is a four letter word, I'll live under a bridge before it makes my living again. That being said, people like to pay me for running around in the woods with a chainsaw when the forest is burning down. My world might be complete for a day if you wanted to come with me.

I like to run into an existential crisis at least once a day, and prefer at least 200 mg of caffiene. If I don't get these two things, I get cranky.

I'll take empathy, and awareness of context and perspective over honesty any day. Whoever said honesties the best policy was either the most socially lazy person to ever be quoted, or was tragically autistic. So lie to me, I'd rather understand the reason for the lie, than hear your truth and miss the motivation.

I don't believe in this "be yourself" nonsense. With every person I've met, I've become part of a relationship. I think we become who we are through each other. I'm more interested in who you want to be with me.
What I’m doing with my life
Nice try Senor Cupido, I won't be tricked into legitimizing my use of time. In fact I might just sit around meowing at my cat to spite this question. So there. :p

Besides making the moneys, I like spending a lot of time philosophising the worlds issues. I've decided the secret to solving all of them is to give everybody a guitar and a surfboard. If you want to help me save the world, take me out and teach me how to use either of these things.

Desperately trying to learn to dance. When I was younger (you know, last year when I was twenty something) I fought with swords. Yes, like actually fighting people with them. It wasn't a reenactment thing for me as much as feeling like dance and expression. But dancing without the combat and aggression has never come naturally. I want that to change.

Spolier! Only read if you want the plot ruined.

I married early and have been divorced for six years. I say "have been," not because it's a matter of baggage, as much as it's an internal organ. I might believe in long term relationships, but am still suffering from emotional amnesia. Don't worry, your resume won't be ignored if you feel that rehabilitation isn't in your skill sets. I put this in this section because relationships are what I'm doing with my life.
I’m really good at
Running sentences, long flowing thoughts, sustainable period use, ample job programs for hard working commas, and daydreaming about annoying the shit out of editors one day when I get off my ass to write a novel, or maybe a grammer textbook.

Being insecure for periods of time with the things I value most about myself, which I'm starting to think is fine. If somethings not valuable, it wouldn't matter if it was threatened right? And if it's part of your identity, locking it up behind walls would be tragic. So out in the open, somethings going to attack or steal it eventually.
The first things people usually notice about me
That I have a Y chromosome? I have no idea, which is frustrating, because if I start asking people as soon as I meet them, well, ewww, obnoxious. But I imagine anyone that's known me long enough that I wouldn't feel conceited asking wouldn't have a definite memory of the very first quality they picked up on. Now I'm curious, and frustrated, damn you silly question.

Newsflash: Polls are coming in, and the results are.....

Jessyca in Salem, Or says, "His smile, physically. His intoxicating voice when he decides to talk about something he beliefs in."

Benjamin Curry responds with, "He's a bar room hero, sweats charisma, and has a voice that could narrate for the gods."

Nikki in Albuquerque stated, "I walked onto the pubs patio and drowned in his blue eyes."

Sara Sickels in Keizer says "Piss poor social skills."

Caitlyn at Arizona State went on record saying "Ben? Oh! That obnoxiously witty Peter Pan wanna be? F' that guy."
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I don't believe in favorite books, music, food, porn stars, pets, colors, emotions, or any other type of thing I enjoy. Well, whiskey, and sex. I definitely prefer there to be sex.
The six things I could never do without
Well, I can't imagine a life without hyperbolic profile questions for one.

Accomplishment without obligation, responsibility without resent, love and desire without possession.

People, I exist with the presence of people, and most things I live for requires them. That totally includes you.

Friends with ADHD are beyond priceless.

Six? Right, nice try.

B fucking vitamins. Technically that last was 13 answers but... Sunlight.

Cats, gracious enough to let you believe your meowing "I love you," when you really just told them "I like to lick dog poop."

Caffeine. If you had wacky hippie parents that named you caffeine, I could sensuously murmur your name in fivteen languages for all fourteen days at the island resort we're going to.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
The nature of values, beliefs, morality, and ethics. More importantly, how worthless they are when there's two people in the room.
On a typical Friday night I am
I spent the entirety of my twenties working eightie hours a week. I now try very hard to be unaware of what day of the week it is.
PS Still broke
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
That I just sat here for ten minutes thinking of negatives that might be seen as "red flags," before I reread the question and remembered that "private" and "admit" could just mean telling you that yes, a Pixar movie will make me cry.
I’m looking for
  • Everybody
  • Ages 25–40
  • Near me
You should message me if
Oh for crying out loud, just message me. Or put down the smartphone and say hi to the next person you see. Seriously, just talk to somebody soon, ok?

You think semantics is a good name for a (I wanna say companion, but it sounds silly so) pet.

You think that life can be (not is) best living with as much health and happyness as possible, but have spent at least a few years on your personal epic benders trying to achieve that.

If you've ever been annoyed with people that make statements about happyness while not seeming to know any synonyms for it. You're ok with me being guilty of that at times.