Is it ever okay?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2004
Is it ever okay?
Thu, 10-04-2012 - 7:10am

When having a polite conversation with an acquaintence or someone you just met in passing, is it okay to ask them questions about their cancer and treatments if they bring up the topic first?

Or, should you say something simple and change the topic?

Avatar for champagneonice
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2001
Mon, 10-08-2012 - 6:31pm

I think it would be okay, IF the person brought up their cancer diagnosis first. Other than that, no. At least I wouldn't like someone questioning ME if I were the one with cancer.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2001
Tue, 10-09-2012 - 11:33am

If they brought it up first, then certainly they wouldn't be offended if you followed up with a question or two. 

Community Leader
Registered: 12-21-2001
Thu, 10-11-2012 - 2:25pm

.. acquaintance or someone you just met in passing... NO!  A general 'how are you', 'how have you been' questions are fine, then if they add more information ok but don't request it.  You change subjects when it is called for. I don't understand why one needs to ask questions about their cancer and treatments-are people still so uneducated and insensitive?  What will they do if the person says this is the last time you will see them because they and their doctors expect them to be dead by the end of the month?

Konnie, what angers me most is when people who know my husband casually start in, with what I consider, the ghoul, and news broadcast of accident scene questions.  They want gory detail, and don't really seem to considered HIM or me!  If he wants to tell someone about it he will bring it up.