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Wife bed-sharing with my 6 year old

Wife bed-sharing with my 6 year old

My wife falls asleep in my sons bed every night. He's 8 months into Kindergarten. When she comes to bed, he usually comes and gets her later in the night and she sleeps with him until morning. I worry that this is a problem for normal development. Please advise.
asked by ASensitiveDaddy 2 years 52 weeks ago
answers (5)

My son is a little younger (turning 4) but this is also our "arrangement".  Even when I wake up earlier than the kids to get ready for work, when he wakes he says mom time to start our morning from the beginning - so I crawl next to him, fake like I'm stretching and pop up and say good morning.  My thoughts are if he isn't interrupting her schedule too much by wanting her to co-sleep or she isn't completely exhausted from it, then what is the harm?  Pretty soon they will be teenagers and they won't even look at us, let alone talk to us or snuggle with us!  If it is stressing other areas, like your intimate life or his behavoir with others (shy, not socializing) then I would address the problem together with your child about getting older and being a big boy.  Good luck, I'm hoping to stop sleeping in the boys room soon myself!

I don't think this is healthy. You're son needs to be able to sleep on his own. Granted a little snuggling time is fine, but when (and maybe I am reading your statements wrong) a mother is spending more time in bed with her son than husband..something is off balance. Is this an excuse she might be using to not be with you? How is the marriage going?

If that is fine than maybe your son had just made it a habit and your wife is not objecting. It is probably a comfort thing to him at this point and I suggest breaking him of this. I would start out slowly and stick to it until he can sleep without mommy.

not only is this unhealthy development for your son, it's getting to be innapropriate. at some point your son needs to sleep on his own, in his own bed. he's 6 and it's you need to get a handle on that crap now. can you imangine the tomrenting he would have to endure at kindergarden or god forbid 1st and 2nd grade when the other kids find out?

he shouldnt be sleeping with your wife not only can it make him have issues with being away from her but its not good for your marriage as a couple you need to sleep together in the same bed and be able to bond with eachother

Thank you all for your input.  It sounds like most agree with me that it's not normal.  Though I do see Amberia17's point too.  They do grow up too fast but I always make sure to savor every moment and constantly remind myself of this as not to miss anything.  I believe it's more of comfort thing for my wife than son.  He's very well adjusted, has no fear of the boogie-man, thinks he's a Super-Hero in Training and is pretty much fearless.  My wife argues that the last time we tried to make him fall asleep on his own, he cried.  Most would say, "So.  He'll be fine."  Whats unusual is that he's not a crier.  I can count on one hand how many times he's cried since he was 3 so he's genuinely heart-broken if he does.  Regardless, he's old enough to understand and extremely easy to break of habits with little effort.  OR maybe my wife is just sick of me or loves her iPod more than I.  Either way, I will confidently fight this fight and break this habit.  Thanks, all.

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