please give me any positive and negative comments on this story, and i havent been writing in awhile, and i will accept amy comments. I will make a squal if more negatives than positives, but i do hope you enjoy. Now know right now, this is just the start of the story, and there is no sex in this one.
Juliane sat on her couch and flipped through the magazine for home living, searching for new homes , open for bidding, and land plots, scattered through the forests. She twirled her brunette hair around one of her fingers, and looked up at the clock. Her brother would be over soon to help her around. Juliane was sick, and needed help to move around in long times, and to help clean the house, and such.
The clock ticked by quickly, and soon the doorbell rang, forcing Juliane to bookmark her spot in the magazine and answer the door. Jack, Juliane's brother, stood at the door, with a wide smile plastered on his lips. he was a strong young man, with black hair, but was a very respectful , and caring man. He would always help around the house when they were younger. Juliane was 24 years old, but Jack was 22, but she had always picked on him when they were kids. he never once was mean to her, because he knew she was just joking around.
"Jack! its so nice to see you! Im so happy you could come and help me. how have you been?"
she hugged him tightly and led him to the couch, and waited patiently a they caught up.
"Well, im glad to hear you have been swell, but sorry that you havent found anyone to partner with.............. you still a virgin?" Jack looked up with his eyes locked with a startling look, his cheecks growing red, and he turned his head away from her before answering.
"Yeah.You dont have to keep joking around with me on it. You could be a little nicer."
Juliane watched him until he looked back at her, where she shot a sorry smile at him. she patted his back, and leaned against him.
"You're right. I should be a little nice to you, Jack. Im sorry."
"Its alright. I appreciate you apologizing though........ well, lets get super started and anything else you need ,let me know.Now let me know when i need to leave, because i still have to find somewhere to stay for the night."
"Oh, Jack. Don't worry about it. You can sleep here at the house. I dont mind it. I have an extra bedroom down the hall on the right for you to sleep in."
Jack smiled down to her as he stood up from the couch, and walked to the room, disappearing from her sight. Juliane hurried to the kitchen and started the stu she had started earlier. She set it to high, with twenty minutes still on the timer, and sat back down to take some Aleve and finished reading her magazine.
Jack came walking into the living room, with his pajamas on. Juliane could hardly keep herself from looking up from her magazine. She knew he was a strong and had worked on the family farm for the past ten years, but it looked like the farm had rewarded him nicely. He had a nice four pack and buff arms, from lifting hay bales and chopping wood, and through his pajama bottoms, she could see he had strong, firm legs................and she couldnt help but notice the bulge in his pants as well. She never wanted to see him wear another shirt again, and couldnt help but want his pants off as well. She knew that was a sick thought to think in her mind, especially towards her brother, but she couldnt stop thinking it.
The timer went off on the stu and she jumped off the couch , hurrying over to get, forcing the thoughts to dispurse from her mind and focus on the stu. Jack handed her a few bowls, and she had to force herself not to hold her breath.
She could see more of his bulge pressing against his baggy pj bottoms. she wanted to scream when it grazed her hand. Her mind swirled, but she hurriedly focused back onto the stu.
"You okay, Juliane?" You seem a little flustered." Juliane almost jumped out of her skin when he said that, but she quickly nodded and filled the two bowls full of with supper.

"That was a great meal, Juliane. How did you ever learn to cook like that? Its better tha mothers." Juliane started to clean up the house after they had finished their supper and was surprised to hear Jack say anything, he kept so quiet during the meal.
"Well....... I read a few cookboks and kept at it, until i made my own stu. Your not the first to give positive feedback on it. Im glad you liked it."
Juliane glanced over her shoulder and saw Jack with his eyes closed and an enormous grin on his face, almost as if he was about to laugh. All of a sudden, he threw his head back and laughed, and wondered what he was laughing at.
"Whats so funny, Jack? Did i say something?"
"No. Its just that your all tense and face is flushed red, as if your embarrased. Its just a look i have never expected from you, thats all." Juliane was froen to the spot with questions swimming through her head. Does he know what im thinking? If he does, what is he going to do? Oh my gosh, what have i gotten myself into here!? She quickly relaxed and tosse the questions from her mind, and gave a smile towards Jack.
"hmm, you really do like to find things in someones actions, dont you little brother?" she couldnt help but giggle as she replied to him, she felt so silly.
"Well, Jack. you can head off to bed. There is nothing more you can do tonight for me, surprising though, i havent felt woozy yet, but thats never a negative!................I hope you sleep well" she called to him as he walked to his room.
When he dissappeared from her sight she slumped over the counter, trying to catch her breath. She wiped her forehead and finished cleaning the dishes. She walked to the bathroom at the end of the hall, and striped from her clothes. She turned the knob on the shower and let the water heat, before stepping into it and cleaning her body from the days grime. Juliane stepped out of the shower and wrapped the towel around herself, before stepping out of the bathroom. she turned back to the door and pulled it closed and started walking back to her room.
The next thing she knew, she was flat on her back, and her towel laying under her. she leaned up and rubbed the back of her head and opened her eyes. She saw naked feet in front of her, and she quickly looked up. Jack was looking down at her, his face red, with a startling look stuck on his face. They both stared at each other, not believing what just happened. Juliane quickly remebered that she was displayed naked in front of her younger brother, and quickly stood, knowing that must have given better view, which she did not want, and huriedly wrapped the towel back around her, covering up her bosom and delicate areas.
Juliane looked up at Jack, who was still red in the face, and felt her cheeks grow red as well.
"Sorry, i didnt see you coming to your room, i thought you were asleep. I didnt mean to run into you.......... sorry." she looked away as she finished and didnt know what to do, she was scared, for some reason unknown to her. She heard Jack clear his throat.
"Mhm. Well, I must say Im sorry as well......... I uh......uh......... Im sorry too.......... I was thirsty so i went to get a glass of water, and then.............. I didnt mean to stare.............Im really sorry, Juliane......... are you okay, though?"
She looked up and forced a smile, though she knew her face was burnt red too, and nodded her head. Juliane then quickly fats walked to her bedroom, and took a peak out of the doorway when she entered, and still saw Jack standing there. he lifted his hand and rubbed his eyes, and placed it against his forehead, as if trying to forget it. That made her feel happy, and sad.
she dressed herself in her pj's and crawled into bed. There was going to be one heck of a day tomorrow.

anonymous readerReport

2013-03-17 08:10:49
I agree, the story looks like it will be good, but the poor spelling is distracting.

anonymous readerReport

2013-03-17 01:12:28
the story is good but you need to go through it and correct allot of spelling mistakes and grammar errors but a sequal would be cool.

You are not logged in.
Characters count: