Monson: From the NFL, a rule all men should understand

Published November 27, 2012 2:57 pm


There are certain things you don't do in sports, and one of them is what Ndamukong Suh did to Matt Schaub during the Texans-Lions game on Thanksgiving.

You don't kick a man in the tenders.

You don't fling a cleat at a man's coin purse.

You don't give new dimension to the word foot-ball.

You just don't.


It's simply understood. It's written in the stars. It's written in every locker room in America. It's written in every locker room from Tallahassee to Timbuktu. It's written into the consciousness of every male athlete who ever lived, who ever played. It's man code. You avoid the danger zone at all costs. So let it be written, so let it be undone.


Great balls of fire!

I never use exclamation points because it's overkill — it's like swinging a sledgehammer to smash a gnat.


Great balls of fire!!!!!!!

There were two football fans, alongside three others, in the room watching the same game who thought what Suh did wasn't really all that bad. They were both women.


The ladies in the room laughed.

Yeah, that's right. They grinned and giggled.

It was the equivalent of a husband busting a gut while his wife gave birth to a 9-pound infant. There's nothing funny about that. Or this. There's nothing but reverence and pain.

The NFL announced on Monday that Suh would not be held out of games by the league for the foot to Schaub's nether region: "Our office has notified the Lions that Ndamukong Suh will not be suspended for last Thursday's incident," NFL spokesman Greg Aiello said in a statement.

Just when you thought there was no justice, no humanity, no feeling of good brotherhood in the NFL offices, the statement went on â¦ "It will be reviewed for a potential fine."

Glory hallelujah.


But it was clear enough to most of us.

A man should know full well not to swing his cleat in the general direction of another man's knap sack.

