Okay, I never actually intended to write this, but the reviews changed my mind.


Harry, Hermione, Ron, Ginny, Edward, Bella, Alice, Jasper, Rosalie, Emmett, Jacob, and Chi sitting in Chi's living room, watching the fourth Harry Potter movie with dropped jaws. All have become best friends, except for the Cullens and Jacob-too much enmity there, but Chi and Jacob have been dating for a month, so deal with it!

Harry: This is utterly insulting.

Hermione: I don't talk like that.

Ginny: I was helping Fred and George take the bets during the second task!

Harry: You were taking bets on my life?

Ginny: ………Maybe.

Ron: I don't look that bad!

crickets chirp

Ron: Right?

more chirping

Jasper: Awk-ward!

Harry: I'm shutting this off!

Chi: NO! Come on, Harry.

Harry: No more bath scenes?

Chi: only when I rewind it No.

TV: He's bewitched, Cedric!

Harry: Oh, Hell no!unplugs DVD player

Chi: You didn't have to unplug it.

Harry: I know for a fact that you have no clue how to plug it back in, so yes I did.

Chi: Meanie!

Bella: Now what then?

Alice: Holds up two books- one with 498 pages, one with 569 pages-from Chi's book bag.what are these? Twilight and New Moon?

Bella: Hey, I've read Twilight. That's the one by Meg Cabott, about the girl that talks to ghosts, right?

Chi: glomps Alice to hand her the booksyou're thinking of a different Twilight.

Edward: Grabs Twilight and opens to page 20(AKA, the one where the Cullens are first introduced)-readsBella…

Chi: Darts for exit

Emmett: Grabs Chi

Bella: readingAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!! Oh my God! This is…Me?

Chi: Uh, yeah. I told you that I found out about you through a book.

Edward: Is that seriously what you thought when you first saw me?

Bella: fumingChi!

Chi: uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…hides behind Jacob

Edward: Flips to page 274Aw, Bella, Darling, look.

Bella: blush, blush, blush

Chi: What page are you on?

Bella: thinking she has found a loop holepage two-hundred-seventy-four.

Chi: Oh, that page. The one with the masochistic lion and the stupid lamb?

all stare

Jacob: Well, is she right?

Edward: Yes.

more staring

Chi: What, I live vicariously through you, like you didn't know.

Rosalie: Just how many times have you read it?

Chi: …

Ginny: Chi?

Chi: So far…eleven. And New Moon eight. That one's more depressing.

Edward: Why?

Chi: Because, you sick sadistic fiend, you leave Bella! How could you? I had to stay home from school for a week because I was crying so much that I got a cold! What is wrong with you? And you!turns to HarryDo you know how many hours I spent with my head in a pillow, crying because you were 'noble,' and let Ginny go?

Emmett: I don't believe I have ever met a more pathetic creature in my life.

Chi: sob

Edward: New Moon is more depressing?

Chi: sniffyes!

Edward: Toss it here.

Alice: toss

Edward: Conveniently flips to page 67Chi, why are there tear stains on the paper?

Chi: Do you really have to ask?

Jacob: Can you all stop tormenting her?holds Chi

Chi: perky

Edward: face fallingOh, my gosh, Bella. I had no clue how much I hurt you. I am so sorry.

Bella: Let me see.

Edward: points to spot on pageright there.

Bella: readsOh…starts sobbing

Chi: See?

Jasper: It's her life at least.

Chi: Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Bella and Edward kiss


Jacob: Why? We-

Chi: slapLALALALALALALALA-Okay, story time is over for Jakey

All start twitching

Chi: What? Like you've never seen us kiss?

Rosalie: No, it was the implied part that would give us nightmares if it could.


long silence

Emmett: Hey, what's this?Points to DDR mats in the corner

Chi: Oh, it's a game.

Emmett: It looks like a really small, demented version of twister.

Chi: You mean none of you have ever tried DDR?

Ron: What's a CDR?

Chi: slaps forehead

Jacob: Come on then, let's show 'em.

Chi: sets up mats while Jacob plugs in game cube (Chi doesn't own a PS2-so sad)

Jacob: ready?

Chi: Yup.selects versus mode

stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp…stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp…stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp…stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp…stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp

All stare in amazement-screen displays two As

Emmett: I wanna try!

Chi: Uh, just don't break it.

Rosalie: I'll take him.

Emmett: stompUh-oh.

Chi: Tell me you didn't break it!

Emmett: Uh…

Chi: YOU-

Jacob: Calm down, he'll be buying you a new one, won't he?

Emmett: Sure.


Emmett: mew?

Chi: Next?

Rosalie: Hey, we didn't get a turn.

Chi: Do you know what this will do to you hair, or what I will do to your husband if he breaks another mat? I only have three, and one is my friend Luna's.

Ron: You're friends with Luna Lovegood?

Chi: Ron, there is more than one Luna out there.

Ron: Oh.

Edward: Bella and I will go next.

Bella: Say what?

Edward: Come on, Bella. It might be fun.

Bella: Or, it might get me killed. Those mats look slippery.

Chi: They are, just don't make the mistake of wearing socks, like I did shudder

Bella: squeaky voicewhat happened?

Chi: uh…nothing?

Bella: Gulp

Bella and Edward walk up to mats

Bella: Edward, I love you.

Edward: amusedI love you too.

Bella: Just thought you should hear that before I die.

Edward: Of all the things to be afraid of… You are in the room with several vampires, several witches and wizards, a werewolf, and a creepy, psychotic killer-girl.

Chi: Hey, I'm not creepy!

can you tell I like the cricket chirps?

Chi: Shut up and dance. Just hit the arrows as they pop up and hit the arrows at the top. BELLA! What are you doing? Go onto easy mode if you have any desire to live.

First arrow pops up

Bella: EEK!slips and falls.

Edward: Oye, Bella. Does someone want to go agenst both of us?

Chi: And just how are you going to manage that?

Edward: smirk

Chi: Edward, what the Hell are you going to do?

Alice: I'll go.glides over

Edward sets Bella ON his feet.

tap, tap, tap, tap…tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap…tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap…tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap…tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap…tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap…tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap…tap, tap, tap, tap

Hermione: I lost track of who won.

screen: A-player 1/A-player 2

Chi: I have some strongly worded prophanities for you both right now!


Chi: slap

Alice: Grace is better than any intimidating stomp.

Chi: poutBut the stomping looks cooler.

Ginny: I'll go next.turns to HermioneI challenge you.

Hermione: Huh? Ehe.

Ginny: You heard me.

Hermione: Let me rephrase…NO!

Ginny: come on.

All: Go Hermione!chant

Hermione: I will sue Chi if I break my neck!


start game

Hermione: AHslips

Chi: My mats aren't that slippery, people-or creatures.

Ron: catches Hermione

Awkward moment

Chi: Uh…RUN!

All scatter to give them 'privacy'-scamper outside and inconspicuously pear through windows.

Chi: I can't hear anything-AND IT'S FRICKEN FREEZING OUT HERE!

Jacob: Come here.pulls Chi into his ever warm arms

Chi: sighAaaaaa

Bella: Whimperfreezing (her fiancée is colder than the weather)

Chi: sticks tongue out

Bella: More whimper

Jasper: Shut up! I am trying to listen!

Chi: snarl

Jasper: raises eyebrow

Chi: I dunno.Shrug

Jasper: real snarl

Chi: hides-or hugs Jacob-whichever way you want to look at it

Bella: shiverW-what's g-g-going on-n?

Edward: Here, Bellahands over jacket

Bella: are you trying to kill me?takes it anyway-all starewhat, it's the thought that counts.sniff sniff (only took the jacket for the way it smells) shivers like Hell.

Alice: SHUT UP!


Vampires start clapping

Chi: What?

Emmett: They're dating!

Chi: YES! After how many years of waiting in agony for this!

Emmett: Like I said, pathetic.

Chi: I know! I've known that I am pathetic for years. I think that the first thing that my doctor said was "hey, nurse, we got a pathetic one here," I don't need you to too!

Emmett: snort

Rosalie: Whoa!

Emmett: What?

Rosalie: Show no mercy, Ron.

Chi: What?

Rosalie: You guys have got to see this kiss. There so feisty!

Ginny: EW! I'd rather not, thanks.

Harry: I'll pass.

All others dart to the window.

Chi: Oh, God! I think he's trying to eat her!

Ginny: LALALALALALALALALALA-I can't hear you!

Harry: gagthis goes on my list of things that I NEVER needed to hear about my friends.

Chi: My toes hurt.

Jasper: Why would you be thinking of your toes while the biggest moment of your sad little life is currently in progress?

Chi: Because in order to witness it, I have to stand on them.

Emmett/Jasper: snicker

Bella: Does anyone but me feel slightly perverted for watching.

All contemplate


All eyes dart back to window

Chi: Oh, yes, when I hint at bad things you all come shooting back, but when two people are in love, it's just plain nasty? They aren't doing anything; go back to your knitting.

Ginny: raises eyebrow

Chi: It's an expression.

Alice: When do you think we should go back in?

all shrug

Alice: Because if we don't stop them within the next half hour, they'll-

Jasper: Oh, s&!.

Alice: Wow, Chi, you are right, they are all conclusionists.

Chi: See? What did I tell you? Sick, sick pervs.

Oh yeah? Who's the one writing the creepyful fan fiction, huh?

Okay, you'll all have to wait for chapter two to find out just how sick this thing can get. Bye Bye…WWWWWHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!