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Last Updated: Friday November 20 2009 16:00 GMT

Anti-bullying expert answers YOUR questions

Richard Piggin

Expert advice on being bullied

Newsround has made a special programme all about bullying.

Now bullying always seems to be a subject that gets you lot talking, and often raises lots of of questions.

So we've recruited Richard Piggin from the Beatbullying charity to have a look through your questions and comments and come up with some answers. You can watch them above.

"Why do people bully?"

Caitlin, 9, Newport and Emily, 12, Newcastle

People bully for loads of reasons. Sometimes they do it because they are being bullied themselves, sometimes because they're angry or maybe they just feel a bit rubbish and they do it to make themselves feel better.

Other people do it because they think it's cool and they're friends are doing it and they think it will make them popular. Sometimes people bully and they don't even realise that they are doing it.

"My best friend is bullying me. I want it to stop but I don't want to lose her. Help!"

Rosie, 11, Edinburgh

If you can you should really try to talk to her about how and tell her how she's making you feel. She probably doesn't even realise that she is bullying you and that it is upsetting you.

If you can talk to her then tell her that you want to be her friend but are feeling a bit left out. Hopefully together you will be able to resolve the problems and sort it out.

"Why is bullying still happening when so many people are trying to stop it?"

Sheza, 11, London

There are lots of people who are trying to stop bullying but I don't think it is something which we will ever be able to completely wipe out. But the more people who are out there challenging bullying when it happens and the more children who say no we don't like it and don't want bullying in our schools, then the more success we'll have in stopping bullying.

"If you are getting bullied at school, how can you stop it?"

Abraha, 13, London

There are lots of things you can do, the first and most importantly is to tell someone who can help you stop the bullying. Try not to retaliate or respond, that is exactly what they bully wants and it can cause further trouble.

What you should do is keep a record of the incidents maybe in a diary of who was there and what happened in case you need to refer back to it. Try to appear confident and try to be ignore it.

Keep your head up and focus on all the things which you are good at and things that make you feel better and hopefully that will overcome some of the feelings which you have about being bullied.

"My friend is being bullied. Should I let him win a race against me so the bullies respect him?"

Nick, 8, UK

It's really good that you want to help your friend and support him but don't try and be too obvious the last thing you want to do is for him to know that you're letting him win a race. It might just make things worse. There are other ways you can help him, by being a good friend. But don't make it too obvious.

"Two girls in my school hide my books and send me rude texts. Who should I tell?"

Amelia, 9

You're right that you should tell someone. A good person to speak to is your class teacher as they might be able to talk to the two girls and get them to stop it.

If it's really getting you down, you should tell your parents who might be able to help you report it and get them blocked on your phone. If it's really getting bad then you can always change your number and be really careful about who you give the number out to.


What is the difference between teasing and bullying?"

Aimee, 11, Lytham

That's a good question. Friends will often have a laugh and a joke together, but when someone gets upset then it no longer funny. Bullying is when someone deliberately does something to upset someone else and humiliate them to make them feel bad about themselves.

Bullying is also repetitive and persistent so it will happen over a period of time, whereas teasing is a bit different.

"This boy in my class is being bullied. What should I do?"

Kira, 11, Bishop's Stortford, England

If you can try to talk to them about it, ask they to play at lunchtime. You should talk to them, support them and go with them when they report the bullying to a teacher. If you want to you can report it anonymously to a teacher but I wouldn't suggest you go behind their back unless you think they're in physical danger of being hurt.

"What should you do if you're called rude names?"

Carrie, 10, Warrington, England

The best thing to do is to ignore it, don't respond with rude names as it might get you into trouble and it's exactly what the bully wants. If it does continue then report it, tell someone like a teacher or a friend. But the important thing to do is not to respond.

"My friend is being bulled but doesn't want me to step in. What should I do?"

Emma, 11, Oxford, England

It sounds like you are a really good friend but if they don't want you get involved and confront the bully then you probably shouldn't. There are lots of things you can do, and you should when you think it's safe.

There are other things you can do to support him, such as going with him when he tells a teacher. Also if he does want you to become involved then he will know that you are there and want to support him.

"What do I do if I get bullied about my weight, appearance and looks?"

Katie, 13, Wales

Sometimes bullying can be even worse when someone is bullying you for who you are. You shouldn't feel that you have to change who you are or your appearance just to fit in because someone is bullying you.

Everyone is different and that is something which we should celebrate and embrace. But if you are unhappy with the way you look then maybe you can change but remember you should never feel that you have to change just because someone is bullying you.

"What if a bully threatens you with a weapon?"

Steven, 14, London, England

That's really serious and if someone threatens you with a weapon then you need to report it to the police. Find somewhere where you feel safe and report it straight away. When you are going out stick with your friends and avoid places where you think the bully might be. The most important thing is to report it to the police.

"At Newsround we've had emails from children who are thinking of hurting themselves because of bullying. What advice would you give them?"

Please don't hurt yourself. It's really not worth it, there are loads of organisations that you can talk to that will help you with bullying and help you to overcome these feelings. But please do talk to someone about it, tell them how you are feeling and they can help you get through this.

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