Dear Abby: I am a 38-year-old woman who has been dating a 41-year-old man for seven months. We have similar values and interests and are very much in love. Sadly, although I have always wanted children, he does not.

At my age, I have dated enough men to know I have found someone special. I realize my choice is either to stay in a relationship with a fabulous partner, knowing we won't have children, or end it, hoping I'll find someone just as wonderful who wants kids.


-- Maternal

Dear Maternal: Look at it this way: If you married "Mr. Wonderful" and learned afterward that he couldn't father a child, would you leave him? Insist on adopting? Or would you count the blessings you do have with him and stay?

Many women are happily childless. If you're not one of them, you should move on, remembering there are no guarantees.

Dear Abby: I work on a busy street in San Francisco where smokers walk around puffing all day while ignoring those around them. Don't you think they should be considerate enough to smoke only in designated areas and not while walking with their secondhand smoke billowing around other pedestrians?

I have seen pregnant women and children inundated by the smoke as these puffers stroll by with no regard. We nonsmokers don't want to inhale what they're smoking. Can you comment?

-- Hates That Habit

Dear Hates That Habit: I hate it, too, but unless there is a city ordinance prohibiting smoking on certain sidewalks, it's unrealistic to expect smokers who inhale not to exhale.

Dear Abby: For the past 10 years, a family of four has come to our home for every Christmas and Easter meal. It started when my wife invited a co-worker who had no family in town.



-- Family Only


She should be sure to convey this news in plenty of time for her co-worker to make other arrangements, whether it will be preparing something herself or getting together with another family. Now would be a perfect time to do it.
