AIBU to feel that my feelings have been hurt by a 4 year old!

(30 Posts)
ElleBelly Thu 07-Nov-13 16:15:19

At school pick up today I overheard a little boy in Dd's foundation class telling his mum "I don't like that one with the short hair" and pointing at me. She went very red and told him to sssh and I looked away as I was embarrassed too. I know kids say stuff, but I feel a bit hurt, his mum is friendly enough to smile and say hi to, and I smile at him if we pass as I'm dropping DD off,but I've never even spoken to him, so why doesn't he like me? Do I look horrible and scary? Am I ridiculous to feel hurt by a 4 year old?! (Obviously yes, but sleep deprivation is making me a bit sensitive!)

Pinkbutterfly31 Fri 08-Nov-13 09:12:56

I can always count on my two to point out a spot on someone's face or ask a bald man where his hair is. They've also been known to point out weight issues as well. No matter how many times I explain that it is rude etc etc, it still occasionally slips out. I remember my eldest asking a friend of mine "are you having a baby?" When she replied in the negative, child 1 carelessly said "looks like you are!". Cue mortification...

cory Fri 08-Nov-13 07:12:48

Ds told me years afterwards that the reason he never spoke much at the childminder's was that he was convinced that she was actually a witch. Not a turn of phrase, the real thing. shock At least he was polite and never spoke out, but it must have been quite unpleasant spending your days with somebody you thought might turn you into a frog if you put a toe out of line.

To be fair to the mum in this case, the OP said she did shush her son. Which seem a more tactful way of pulling him up than going into long explanations of how "you mustn't say that dear even if you think somebody looks scary".

elizadofuckall Fri 08-Nov-13 00:20:11

My daughter did this when she was small about a parent at play group. Turned out that it was because the woman wore a lot of brown!

Children are strange smile

Anchoress Thu 07-Nov-13 22:41:48

Don't give it another thought, OP. Kids of that age take against someone because they don't like the colour of their jacket, or because someone else entirely has just refused to buy them a packet of crisps!

WorraLiberty Thu 07-Nov-13 22:03:21

We still take the piss out of my 21 year old DS over a similar comment he made when he was 4 years old grin

His Reception teacher introduced a student teacher and explained that she's be helping in class for a week.

Everyone 'sang' Gooood morniiiiing Miss so and so...

Except for my son...he burst into tears and said "I don't like her. I want to go home!!" shock

To this day he remembers it but still has no idea why he didn't like her confused

Mind you, he missed her when she left and made her a card grin

FergusSingsTheBlues Thu 07-Nov-13 22:01:22


My son read the word "fat" on a weetabix box and my pride dissolved a second later when he said "you have lots of fat, are a FATTY mummy!"

Amy106 Thu 07-Nov-13 21:57:42

You are not unreasonable to feel hurt but it really isn't you. It's just a little kid who said something without thinking things through. Kids are like that sometimes.

ilovecolinfirth Thu 07-Nov-13 20:44:27

YABU... You should have shouted 'I don't like you too!!! Nya nya nya nya" (and stick your tongue out). Seriously though, kids say all sorts and think all sorts. Don't take it too seriously.

Fairenuff Thu 07-Nov-13 20:12:53

Ah, young children change their minds for a pastime. They like you one minute and not the next, don't take it seriously.

A child in my class told me last week that her mum doesn't like me grin

Mim78 Thu 07-Nov-13 20:07:52

Don't be upset by it. As others have pointed out children have no filter and he probably didn't even mean it - they say first thing that comes into their head at that age.

I thought you were going to say you'd been hurt by own DC which wouldn't be unreasonable I imagine.

Kids do really hurtful things like pick up on a physical characteristic an adult might be sensitive about and point it out - like the big nose example above. This isn't even in that category. Don't give it another thought.

katese11 Thu 07-Nov-13 19:52:34

My ds did this to our new lodger when he was 3.5ish - fixed him with a stare and said "I don't yike Ed" even though Ed had been nothing but nice to him. In that context, he didn't like his mummy having an adult conversation instead of pandering to his every 3yo whim. I was soooo embarrassed!

GrandstandingBlueTit Thu 07-Nov-13 19:44:00

Bit twitish of the mum not to pick up in it and say it was a rude thing to say!

That's a bit unfair - it probably all happened so quickly and the Mum herself was mortified.

You're on the spot, and the last thing you want to do is put your foot in it by saying the wrong conciliatory thing and make it worse.

OP - YANBU to feel hurt by it, but as everyone says, he'll have changed his mind by the next time he sees you. smile

NoIHaventHadTheBabyYet Thu 07-Nov-13 19:43:16

Theres a mumsnet classics thread where a child told his mum she might be pretty if she had straight hair and a different face.
Kids are strange. And mean.

Echocave Thu 07-Nov-13 19:39:07

OP, never fear, children do seen to say this sort of stuff quite randomly. There was a thread on here the other day (was it in Chat?) about hilarious/embarrassing things children say. Some of it was really embarrassing for the parent. DD (just about to turn 2) asked a young female friend of mine the other day why she had a beard (!). I have no idea why except that she'd seen a beard in a book recently. The woman in question does not have facial hair!

I was quick to point that out though so she didn't feel too embarrassed.

ElleBelly Thu 07-Nov-13 19:37:23

Hah well I have a sizeable conk so maybe that's it...

NotMeNotYouNotAnyone Thu 07-Nov-13 19:33:39

A small child told my friend she had a witches nose! Friend saw the funny side fortunately!

ElleBelly Thu 07-Nov-13 19:22:01

Oh kids are strange. DP says maybe he doesn't like my tattoos, but Im sure when his dad dropped him off I noticed he had some. Anyway, going to stop as over thinking. I hope I don't look like a witch as I'm a school nurse, so work with kids a lot and don't want them to think I'm scary!

SabrinaMulhollandJjones Thu 07-Nov-13 19:13:44

When my dsis was about 3, mum took us to visit her oldest friends - We'll call them Carol and John. Dsis spent the whole afternoon howling that 'she didn't like John' and 'John must go away' - mum was mortified.

'John' was apparently upset too - as he had always prided himself on being a nice person who was good with children - so Yanbu.

BadgerBumBag Thu 07-Nov-13 18:44:04

Dd pointed to a man and said he 'Looks mean and silly and I want him to go away now.' She had never met him in her life... it hurts but they don't mean it

Lilacroses Thu 07-Nov-13 18:42:01

Yanbu....well yabu in a way because kids do say things like that at times but it is hurtful! My Dp is a large black woman in a very white area...when Dd was small lots of her friends were scared of her! Even though she understood but since she is a really caring lovely person who loves kids she found it hurtful.

ElleBelly Thu 07-Nov-13 18:40:00

Yes but I don't know how?! I don't think I look like a witch...

complexnumber Thu 07-Nov-13 18:37:45

You probably satisfy all his criteria for being a wicked witch.

TheBreastmilksOnMe Thu 07-Nov-13 18:34:32

My daughter does this and it's highly embarrassing. She 2 1/2 and will randomly take against people she's never even met before, saying in a loud voice and pointing 'no like her'. I just roll my eyes at the poor, offended person and say 'it's not personal, she says it to everyone she's never met before' whilst cringing inside and dragging dd away.

Please don't take it to heart op, kids judge people on random things like hair colour, facial features, or looking like someone they don't particularly like. Try and forget it, he may be a little brat anyway and just trying to get a reaction.

ElleBelly Thu 07-Nov-13 18:26:37

Hah thanks ladies. I sometimes think it'd be nice to say exactly what I thought all the time! My dd has given me her fair share of ground swallow me up moments to be fair.

cherylwebb Thu 07-Nov-13 16:35:35

My daughter does that to her dad all the time,shes very much a mummys girl n will tell her dad she doesn't like him wont kiss him goodnight and is generally quite nasty I no it gets to him but the next day she can love him n want to hold his hand n crys when he leaves for work,kids r so fickle and most of the time theres no reason behind there like or dislike of someone they just open there mouth n stuff comes out that they dont even no why they say it. Im sure your certainly not scary n like someone else said he will like you next week

Join the discussion

Join the discussion


Register now