For $5,500 In Loonies, This Is The Car With The Walmart Tattoo

People like to accessorize themselves, a habit that goes all the way back to humanity's formative days. Today's Nice Price or Crack Pipe Volvo S40 is decked out like it's a Suicide Girls pin-up, but is its price one adornment that's too much?

Wow, two Volvos in a row, that must be some kind of record. Yesterday's 1979 262C garnered an hearty 67% win for its price, and praise for its not a single fuck given presentation. In stark contrast to that customized Swede, today's candidate trades additional cylinders for maor bling!

The S40, in its original iteration was the result of Volvo's partnership with Mitsubishi to develop a small FWD sedan and wagon. Sold by the Japanese company as the Carisma - an aspirational name if there ever was one - the cars were built at the NedCar plant in the Netherlands, a former DAF factory.

Mitsubishi's claims aside, neither the Carisma nor the S40 offered styling worth avoiding a moose in, and in fact the little Volvo lacks even the ironic dullness of its bigger, boxier brethren. If you want to make the car stand out then your only options are to either drive it naked, or bling it out like a boss.


This 2001, 220,000 kilometer edition has been just so biblically blinged. Factory painted canary yellow, it now sports so many stick-on, pop-up, light-up accouterments that it's a wonder it's not scraping the tops of its Ferrari-logo alloys from the sheer weight. Those wheels are also blingtastic, and the seller says that the car comes not only with the prancing pony rims, but also a set of winter boots, this being Canada and all.

The inside looks a little more tame, the black leather trim being offset only by a red and black steering wheel cover freed from the accessory aisle at Khapco and a seat riser in back that pretty much guarantees it smells of fruit by the foot and crayola.


Mechanically, there doesn't appear to be much other than wheels that has seen change, plus the turbo 1.9 and Aisin-Warner 5-speed automatic isn't exactly a drivetrain that is typically fooled with. There's also no AWD here, nor is it a wagon, the tastiest of Volvo cakes in the opinion of many.

So what does this S40 have going for it? Well, not a lot other than all that crap that adorns it and probably causes enough wind noise to make driving with the heavily tinted windows down nearly impossible. Speaking of noise, there appears to be a pair of extra trumpets under the hood, so you can honk if you're horny. There are also neon lights under the body, stripes and another Ferrari badge (jonesing much?) on the roof, and stick-on chrome crap not just on the body, but on the glass as well. It really requires a minute or two to take it all in.


Now, the seller is asking $5,500 Canadian for the car, which works out to about $5,500 American - stupid economy - and I really am not expecting you to vote on whether that price is nice or if the seller is on crack for asking so much based on this being a plebeian Volvo S40, they just ain't worth that much no matter what the currency. No, I want to know whether you think this car may be worth that based on its merit as either a work of art, or as an ironic gesture. It is after all just a few bling shy of being one of those art cars like the ones covered in pennies, or floppy disks, or hemp.

So what do you think, keeping its nature in mind, of that $5,500 price? Is that something that would make you want to bring home the bling? Or, would that be better spent on eye bleach?

You decide!

Kijiji Toronto or go here if the ad disappears.

H/T to zuey10 and Scooter_from_the_hills for the hookup!
