Sour taste: this season's batch of <i>My Kitchen Rules</i> contestants need to sharpen up.

Sour taste: this season's batch of My Kitchen Rules contestants need to sharpen up.

To be honest, I'm a bit disappointed in the standard of villains on this year's My Kitchen Rules. I know they're doing their best, but it just seems like obnoxious jerks aren't what they used to be.

Don't get me wrong, My Kitchen Rules 2014 features some truly appalling people. The main baddies this year have included one double-villain team in Chloe and Kelly, and two single nasties coupled with a long-suffering partner in trophy wife-collector David and self-taught foodie Jess. And they fulfil the basic villain requirements fairly well.

Chloe and Kelly are brilliant at the old game of ''This curry isn't like the curry I had in India; this isn't how they make moussaka in Greece; I've eaten porridge on eight continents and this isn't up to scratch'' that so endears you to viewers. Kelly also has a deeply ingrained hatred of all other human beings that should hold her in good stead.

Meanwhile, David has been enlivening the instant restaurants with some good old-fashioned, creepy, middle-aged, know-it-all blow-harding. David is that horrible uncle who ruins every family reunion.

Then there is Jess, who has the loveliest smile, a smile she wears like a rictus of doom as she snipes with snobbish glee at every single thing everyone does. God forbid anyone cook anything that deviates from what Jess has had before or what she has seen on Nigella. She will look around the table, smile sweetly and tear you apart.

But these villains, as villainous as they seem, lack something - call it commitment. What good is a bad guy who slags off every mouthful at the table, then leaves the room and gives the meal eight out of 10?

The nasties of seasons past must be rolling in their graves. I mean, if you're going to go to the trouble of making up blatant and transparent lies about how bad the food is, why wuss out and be honest when you have to give a score?

A truly committed villain will not only loudly announce to the whole table that the salmon is dry, the potatoes are flavourless, the sauce is too salty and the ice-cream tastes like canvas, but they will stick the knife in and give a dish that was perfectly fine four out of 10.

If you're a terrible person on a cooking show, it's not just a matter of villainous principle, but of pragmatism, because, although they never seem to realise it, the villains on My Kitchen Rules aren't picked for their cooking skills, but for their abrasive personalities. More often than not, their ability to shred people's nerves is in inverse proportion to their ability to serve vaguely edible food in less than 10 hours.

They are not there to delight with deliciousness. They are there to make us hate them. Deliberately giving their opponents bad scores regardless of the meal's quality is just common sense, both in terms of the competition and in terms of pleasing the producers.

Pull up your socks, villains. Remember, you're the ones we love to hate. You can't afford to give us even the slightest reason to like you.