Want to give up on day one

(34 Posts)
highlandbird Wed 24-Apr-13 01:42:03

DS2 just been born on Monday eve, DS1 was an absolute dream to bf, never really had any issues and was really looking forward to doing it again.....but having a nightmare so far. He's pretty much been on the boob since lunchtime, they're cracked and agony but he screams if he's not feeding, I don't know what to do but I've had about four hours sleep since Sunday I'm so exhausted I want to cry, not sure how much longer I can keep this up, any words of wisdom??
Also he won't settle anywhere except on me, completely normal at this stage I know but I think he can smell milk and that's all he wants! I need to sleep.....DS1 is a tiring boisterous 2 year old to deal with in the daytime!

enjay0811 Fri 26-Apr-13 16:48:38

Day 3 highland and things are gettin better thanks. Milk has come in so lo is not feeding as long as she's fillin up easier. Seems to be feeding every 2-3 hrs but bit longer at night which I think is quite good! Mw came to visit yday and tole me about biological nurturing and showed us how to do it. Wow, wot a difference! Basically, lie back and let baby find the nipple and latch itself. Still gettin the hang of it and mutter expletives for the first few seconds but much more comfortable. Glad you are gettin on better too xx

Where are you based, highland?

Many babies are capable of breastfeeding with a tie, but it can be horrendously painful for the mother, and they are unlikely to be able to fully drain a breast, leading to blocked ducts, mastitis, and a supply issue.

highlandbird Fri 26-Apr-13 13:18:19

Thanks Bunty, I'll check out that FB group, unfortunately my nearest bf support group is an hour and a half away and only on once a week but I may go along next week anyway as we have to go into town to register the birth.
I did ask the mw about tongue tie but she didn't check him and said most babies are capable of bf with tongue tie?! She also said there was a specialist in Inverness that deals with this.....that's 3 and a half hours away from us!!
just feels so different to the early days with DS1 but that could be the rose tinted glasses wink
Thanks again for your advice, will be investigating further.....

highland for you. I have extensive experience of tongue tie - both my dc were severely tied and the 'professionals' insisted there was no tie. There is a group on Facebook, tongue tie babies, and they can tell you what to check for. I can, but there are pictures there which can help

DS had a classic anterior tie, very easy to see (so god know how they could miss it). DD's is far sneakier - a posterior tongue tie.

A lot of what I read on this board makes me sigh, because I think there are a lot of undiagnosed ties around which are causing pain and poor weight gain, and therefore a lot of tears for mums, and can often lead to giving up feeding.

highlandbird Fri 26-Apr-13 12:32:24

Enjay, hope things have improved for you now? Has your milk come in yet? I found things massively improved then and now my nipples have almost healed, just a couple of days later! He's still feeding every hour and a half but I think that's normal,from what I remember anyway, and the pain I feel on let down seems to subside when he's been latched on for a few seconds.
Hope it's going ok for you, these first few days are so tough. X

Bunty, your money being on tongue tie, is that for my DS or other posters on here? Do you have any experience of that or any advice to offer??

Money on tongue tie.

enjay0811 Thu 25-Apr-13 09:31:07

highland I don't have any further advice but wanted to say I feel exactly the same!! Dd3 was born yday mornin and fed for hour and half straight away, throughout the day and last nite from 11.30-1am and again from 5.20-9 more or less! My nipples are killin me and have blisters on them sad jst sent dh out for Lansinoh and nipple shields! Good to know it gets easier.. Bf dd2 4 yrs ago but I forgot how much it hurts to start with!


highlandbird Thu 25-Apr-13 09:07:19

Sunshine my friend swears by this!! She had real difficulty for first few weeks with both her DS' establishing breastfeeding and cabbage leaves straight out of the fridge were the only things that brought her relief, worth a go! How are things with you last couple of days?
Doodle thank you so much for your advice, mw also suggested something similar yesterday so I replaced a couple of feeds with expressed milk from a small sterilised cup, gave me a few hours relief, have also ordered breast shells online but won't arrive until tomorrow hmm
My milk came in last night grin and since then he's been feeding every 1 1/2 - 2 hours and sleeping on my chest in between feeds, so hugely improved here now, just need my nipples to heal and toughen up a bit and we'll be sorted!

Sunshinewithshowers Thu 25-Apr-13 00:48:43

I have been advised to put cabbage leaves in my bra!

DoodleAlley Wed 24-Apr-13 11:23:13

It's harder at night but that's when I've done the expressing thing best. Then sleep with your breasts out and doused in lansinoh.

Don't go crazy on the expressing but it can also help your milk come in.

Got suggested this by midwife with DS and then when same thing happened with dd just shot out of hospital to go home and do the same again.

Also be prepared for let down to be more
Painful as you mend but the key is that the pain subsides as your dc feeds. But this is only really relevant when your milk comes in I have found.

And hold in there, you are most likely doing far better than you expect. It will pass. These are difficult emotional times anyway and not helps by issues like these. And you are not unusual in experiencing this. The early breast feeding days are, in my experience and from chatting to
Friends, very rarely a breeze.

highlandbird Wed 24-Apr-13 09:41:03

Doodle that sounds like a good idea, I'm desperate not to give up but just feel like my boobs need a break. Feeling much more positive this morning, middle of the night is the worst time!
Need my milk to come in now, he's so hungry!

highlandbird Wed 24-Apr-13 09:34:11

Uksmurf that sounds like a really difficult situation, I think if you keep expressing though you will just keep producing more milk as it is produced on demand.....keep posting on mn and I'm sure you'll get lots of advice, there are some amazingly supportive people here I've discovered in the last couple of years, hope things improve for your really really soon, I don't mind you tagging into this thread at all but I think you'll get more helpful advice if you start a new thread.
Good luck xx

DoodleAlley Wed 24-Apr-13 09:13:49

Hi with both dc I have got painful nipples and ended up expressing for 12 hrs and giving the milk in a pipette in order to allow the healing to start and then going back to breast feeding.

It's not a midwife sanctioned approach but it worked for me.

tiktok Wed 24-Apr-13 08:50:40

And I"d add, uksmurf, that whoever told you to 'express till empty' with no further explanation or caveat, has NOT helped you at all` sad

tiktok Wed 24-Apr-13 08:48:22

uksmurf do start a new thread. Just click on Start a new thread and copy and paste your post. That's a better way f getting help than tagging your story on to the existing one....and you will get more replies!

ExBrightonBell Wed 24-Apr-13 08:48:12

Oh, uksmurf, you sound at the end of your tether!

I hope your appt today goes well and that you get some helpful advice.

I would say that breastfeeding does get easier over time, and then going out is so much more straightforward. You don't need to take any stuff with you for feeding and you can feed wherever and whenever needed.

If you start your own thread in this section you'll get lots of support and advice smile

uksmurf1981 Wed 24-Apr-13 07:46:25

Hi, This is my first ever post, my baby boy was born on Friday 19th and I am having major feeding problems that are really getting me down, I came home on Monday after a 4 days stint in hospital, they kept me in because he wasn't latching on, it was turning into a 2-3hr battle, I was frustrated and upset, he was upset... vicious circle!

The problem is I'm producing a HUGE amount of milk, I started getting in on the evening of day 2! I started expressing in the hospital and on the first attempt got off over 100mls. I was then regularly getting 120-140mls every 4hrs whilst in hospital.

As he was still not latching on we decided to try and continue with breastmilk but to just express and then feed through a breast flow bottle in case I could get him back onto me when I got home.... I was also advised to express "until empty".... ok, not going to work, I was at home and thought ok let's do this, 2hrs and 400mls (!!!!) later I decided I was never going to be empty and I had to stop.

Since then my breasts have been massively engorged and are painful all the time to the point where I can't really hold littleun to me as I can't bear my breasts being touched. I am still expressing but for some reason am now struggling to get what I was originally. On top of this his demand has risen.

Both myself and my husband have been up every hour since 11pm with him as he just keeps asking for food!!

I'm getting to the end of my tether, I keep crying because I know I've got milk and really wish I could give it to him but feel it's really interfering with me being able to just be a mum.

We've got an hours appt back at the hospital today to sit down with a breastfeeding specialist but to be honest I'm really just considering moving him onto formula. We can't plan to do anything or go out as I either need to express or he needs to feed and then we have the issue of storage of milk whilst out if it's kept in fridge, we need to make sure it stays at right temp etc.

I don't really know what advice I'm looking for, I know I have the support of my husband, friends and family if I did decide to move him over but I just feel so guilty as it's only just day 5 and I feel like I'm failing him by not giving him what I'm supposed to.

I think I just need to get this off my chest and try and work out what's best for lifestyle aswell as health wise but I'm just in such a dilemma about what to do sad

highlandbird Wed 24-Apr-13 07:02:09

Tante.....thank you, I'm scared to let my emotions show too much I suppose, I had really bad pnd with DS1 that started 5 days after he was born and feel a bit like everyone is just holding their breath for it to kick in again.
Mrshoarder, yep I need to let dh look after me you're right, and this is what he's telling me as well. And clothes are off, but occasionally stuff brushes past...ouch! Breast shells on the list now!
Just had another hour or so of sleep fingers crossed we have a better day today, feeding wise, thank you all so much for your kind words and support last night....I may have felt overwhelmed but certainly not lonely. X

MrsHoarder Wed 24-Apr-13 06:33:36

Highland why not leave your top off then mine was only worn for visitors. And let your dh look after you and do everything for both dc except bf.

TanteRose Wed 24-Apr-13 05:17:15

highland - why not have a good cry and let it all out!
remember, its day 3 after the birth, so your hormones suddenly plummet and everything feels overwhelming

hopefully you'll feel better in the next few days, especially when feeding gets a bit easier smile


highlandbird Wed 24-Apr-13 04:59:20

Sunshinewithshowers we are in highlands so opposite end of the country!! Hope things improve for you soon, am very close to crying here but I remember how great it feels when bf is established and going well.....we'll get there soon! X

highlandbird Wed 24-Apr-13 04:57:02

Both just got a couple of hours sleep so feeling a bit more positive now, thank you so much for your replies its good to know I'm not the only one to struggle, I just assumed it would be so easy the second time round!
DH is on toddler duty and is desperate to look after me too, I think I need to let the control freak in me chill out and concentrate on getting this baby feeding properly.
Will ask mw about breastfeeding support tomorrow morning, postman delivers our post 3 miles from our house so don't fancy my chances but you don't ask you don't get!!
Breast shells - need to look these up, can't even bear my clothes touching my nipples they are slathered in lansinoh baby's face is very greasy!

Marcheline Wed 24-Apr-13 02:58:58

Hi OP, I really feel for you. DD2 is 9 weeks old now and I felt very much the same as you for the first 2 or three weeks. I'm also not good at sleeping when she sleeps but DH has been insisting that o go to sleep when he has the baby and DD1, so I am getting a bit more rest.

It is totally normal for babies to suckle like mad in the early days, to stimulate your supply. Once your milk comes in, it will hopefully get easier. As for your nipples, j used breast shells for the first few weeks - they allow air to get to your nipples and stop them ribbon anything, they were a godsend and I'd have stopped bfing months ago if it wasn't for them.

I have to keep reminding myself that they're little for such a short space if time. It really will get better, and quickly. I'm rural too but like the poster above says, if the MW can get to you, so can a bf support worked

Good luck and lots of chocolate.

Cravingdairy Wed 24-Apr-13 02:47:54

Hope you are getting some rest OP. We did a lot of chest sleeping!

Sunshinewithshowers Wed 24-Apr-13 02:29:47

Hi OP, My midwife has arranged the breastfeeding support worker to come & visit me, from the surgery.

Also there is a group in my nearest town.

Im rural also, only 3 houses out here. If the postman, midwife ect can get to you, insist the support worker does.

If you are in Cornwall, private message me.
Im day 7 & have cried every day now with pain x

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