Notre Dame linebacker Manti Te&#8217;o. (AP Photo/Michael Conroy)
Notre Dame linebacker Manti Te'o. (AP Photo/Michael Conroy)

Our daily countdown of the top newsmakers, groundbreakers and world-class fakers.

1. Manti Te'o

4.82 in the 40 is pretty slow for a linebacker with an imaginary lover. (previous ranking: unranked)

2. Ikea

No horses were harmed in the making of their furniture. Now, about those meatballs ... (unranked)

3. Jennifer Lawrence

Apparently enjoyed her first Oscar, and first beer, on same night. (unranked)

4. Michelle Obama

Just a wee bit too desperate to get on television lately. (unranked)

5. Kevin Love

Coming back in time to ruin the Wolves' great draft position. (unranked)

6. "Tanning Mom"

Planning to fly off to London using her frequent fryer miles. (unranked)

7. Danica Patrick

Millions of Americans can now safely go back to ignoring NASCAR. (1)

8. Robin

Holy comics homicide, Batman! (unranked)

9. Seth MacFarlane

Could have been worse. Could have been four hours of him AND Kristin Chenoweth. (2)

10. NFL Combine

How soon until they start televising the physicals? Turn your head and cough, sports fans! (unranked)

Others receiving votes

The Onion, John Mara, Star Lotuleili, Academy Awards plumbing, Cardinal Keith O'Brien, Jacoby Jones,Curtis Granderson, Jermaine Jacksun, sequester, MC Hammer, Minnesota Gophers, Mark Mauer, Carl Pistorius, duct tape, catch fences, 50 Cent, "Harlem Shake", "Argo", airplane flatulence, Oscar Pistorius.

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