Correct: None.

Troy, a new restaurant on Staten Island, had its grand opening last week. To commemorate the occasion, it served an opulent buffet of shrimp, stuffed crab, and a pig with little swords shoved through its back. Also on the menu, according to the masterpiece of a commercial above: raw meat, live fish, and screamin' birds. Remember: fridge was not invented yet. *Laser beam sound*

A call to Troy confirmed that the commercial is indeed real, but the restaurant's thickly accented owner didn't tell me much more than that (he seemed busy; it was the middle of lunch hour). When I asked about the restaurant itself, he said: "It's European style, what can I tell you."

I emailed Edward Izro, who directed the commercial, to ask whether the humor was intentional. His cryptic answer:

Troy is completely my idea as a restaurant and the commercial alone

my script my directing and actors casting

I deliberately took an actor with an accent and it made the audience interested in a restaurant

OK, so maybe that uncanny Tim and Eric feeling was a little intentional, which feels like a bit of a letdown. Still: Welcome to the Empire of Taste! Great commercial. Possibly the finest.

[h/t Eater]