Only Teens Want to See Gay People on TV

GLAAD, the spayed and neutered gay media watchdog, released its annual Network Responsibility Index, which charts the gay content of television networks. Guess what they found? The highest percentage of programming with gay and lesbian characters is targeted at young audiences.

For the second year running, the barely post-pubescent CW had the highest percentage of primetime content with gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, or otherwise fruity characters. Most of these hours of television were on 90210, Gossip Gurrrlll, and America's Next Top. Shockingly enough, Fox came in second, mostly thanks to Glee, which is gayer than Cristiano Ronaldo's underwear drawer. Still the network has gay characters on many of its shows including American Dad and, appropriately, Bones.

The rankings for the networks didn't change at all, with ABC, NBC, and CBS coming in third fourth and fifth for the second consecutive year, but NBC and CBS did have a slightly higher percentage of gay content this year than last. The 3% hike in gay and lesbian "impressions" on CBS was enough for its grade to go from "failing" to "adequate."

Of all the cable networks ranked, number one, by a wide margin, was your high school-aged nieces' and Richard Lawson's favorite channel: ABC Family. Of it's original prime-time 55% of it had gays in it. Yes, Greek, Pretty Little Liars, Make It or Break It and all the other embarrassments on your DVR all have gay characters.

Meanwhile those that scored the lowest on the Index—CBS, USA, A&E, and TBS—all have audiences that skew older than their more gay-minded counterparts. What does that mean? Well, what we knew all along—that the kids love the gays and that as they grow up, the entertainment aimed at their generation will probably continue to have just as many gays as you would want to see in the mainstream media. As for CBS and the rest, they'll eventually retire, live off their pensions, and yell at same-sex couples from their front porches until they eventually die and gays come in to gussy up the house and make it livable. The gay takeover is inevitable, so will you let us enjoy The Good Wife in our complacency while it happens?