The Animals Past The Curtain

Carrying on is the ultimate struggle luxury. You don’t want to pay the extra fee for a checked bag (i.e. you also can’t afford a checked piece of luggage that doesn’t look like it’s owned by a newly retired couple on their way to Scottsdale), so you get yourself a sick carry on. There is absolutely nothing wrong with moderate to aggressive stunting on your fellow peasants in coach. Snuggle this $990 piece of murder next to all those “Louis Vuittons” in the overhead compartment. Remember, items may shift during flight, so don’t freak out when some fucking moron touches or fucks up your NINE HUNDRED AND NINETY DOLLAR CARRY ON. That’s, like, at least five flights to NYC on one of those budget ass airlines. You can’t complain though because you are flying coach and that’s what happens back there with those animals. I don't even want to begin to think about what happens past the curtain, which is why I only fly private.