LeAnn Rimes Wants Revenge Against the Evil Dentist Who Jacked Up Her FaceS

Having just recently recovered from some unpleasant oral surgery (wisdom tooth went rogue and murdered neighboring tooth, which then became evil dead zombie tooth), I wholly feel LeAnn Rimes in her quest for dental justice. Rimes claims that a negligent dentist botched her veneers, leaving her in terrible pain and requiring nine root canals "and bone grafting." So she's taking that dude to TOOTH COURT. Dun-DUN.






I would also like to sue the English language for forcing me to think about the phrase "bone grafting." [TMZ]

LeAnn Rimes Wants Revenge Against the Evil Dentist Who Jacked Up Her Face

Would you like to know how Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner make their Hollywood marriage work? Mainly by loving each other, it looks like.

He kept his arm tenderly around her back. She beamed as he told her "I love you" from the stage, and when the show was over, gently reminded him to take his jacket. For Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner, the British Academy Film Awards in London on Feb. 10 was another successful date night – and a rare grown-ups' weekend getaway, with their three kids staying home with Garner's sister.

Well, almost: "He's just like a child!" Garner lovingly joked to a friend as she tugged her still-schmoozing husband–who won the night's two biggest honors for his film Argo – toward the exit. Could an Oscar for Best Picture be his next stop? "This is a second act for me," he said in his London acceptance speech. "I am so grateful and proud." As he told PEOPLE recently, "I am very lucky. I have to knock on wood about my life."

(Also a very special Rambaldi device. You know, for the bedroom.) [People]

Today in actual lolz that would have bee loud enough to scare the cat if my boyfriend would let me get one (BOOOOOO), apparently somebody made a penis-measuring app called the "Chubby Checker," and now ACTUAL CHUBBY CHECKER IS MAD ABOUT IT:

Chubby Checker is throbbing with anger ... telling TMZ he's suing the people behind a "Chubby Checker" schlong measurement app because, "I don't want people to go around calling me a penis."

Chubby (the singer) just called in to "TMZ Live" to explain why he declared legal war on Hewlett-Packard and Palm for releasing the app — telling us, "They're selling a penis package named Chubby Checker ... I'm upset about that."

As we previously reported, Chubby wants a judge to force the companies to shut down the app ASAP, claiming he owns the "Chubby Checker" trademark.

Pro tip: If you want me to read your e-mail, give it a subject line like "Chubby Checker: 'I Don't Want People to Call Me a Penis.'" That shit is like blogger catnip. NOT THAT I KNOW WHAT CATNIP SMELLS LIKE, BOYFRIEND. [TMZ]

  • Ugh. Anthony Anderson says he would "DEFINITELY" play Christopher Dorner in a movie. [TMZ]
  • Kris Humphries is being divorced by his own divorce lawyer. [TMZ]
  • Tom Cruise's libel lawsuit is getting hella messy. [Radar]
  • Also he sold his condo. [Us]
  • Fashion designer Anand Jon Alexander pleads guilty to sexually assaulting a woman he pretended to hire as a model. [Radar]
  • Here's Jennifer Lawrence not wanting to have her picture taken. Quick! Take her picture! [JustJared]
  • Here is a heartwarming family portrait of Courtney Stodden and her doting father. [FrownTown]
  • What? Why is Kris Kross showing up in my news feed? What's going on? Who's the president? [MTV]
  • Oh well. It must be a sign. VALENTINE'S DAY KRIS KROSS DANCE PARTY. (This is something I will never ever ever do again.)