Date: Sun, 8 Jul 2007 23:58:54 -0700 From: firexity vee <> Subject: collide part 5 Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction that describes the love between two men. I won't stop you from reading, but if you get in trouble then fight them! Fight them in the name of love! (between two men). I hope you guys like this chapter, and I hope the wait wasn't too unbearable. Now this was originally bundled with chapter four but I thought it made more sense separating them so that chapter five will be all about Riley. So I apologize if the two chapters were too short. * * * Collide by rexie What happened next was something that Riley did not at all count on. Sure, school started, sure, he's back with Erika, and sure, the football team worshipped him, that's all good and fine. What surprised him the most, though, was how his supposedly best friend Lucas was acting. Riley could feel that Lucas's respect for him was significantly lower than before. Not that it mattered, they hardly ever talk anymore after football practices. They would see each other in the halls and Lucas would give him a simple nod and walk away. What's even worse, is that Riley cannot seem to find Jacob anywhere. Not that it mattered, he wouldn't go up and talk to him anyways. He just wanted to see how the boy was doing but Jacob proved impossible to find and it was frustrating Riley to no end. One afternoon that September, however, as Riley got an early pass out of English to practice with Coach Brenneman, he finally found the boy. Riley was walking across the empty main hall and his eyes traveled to the floor-to-ceiling window on his left. Outside was the school's courtyard, where there were a few people on the picnic benches underneath a canopy of yellowing trees. And right in the middle table was the junior, reading a book by himself. Riley allowed himself a minute to watch the kid, and it was probably the most painful minute of his life. He saw Jacob look up and beam the most amazing smile. Initially, Riley thought it was directed at him, but he soon found out that it was for the approaching Lucas. Lucas set down a bag of bagels and handed Jacob a drink which Riley assumed to be hot chocolate. They instantly launched into a lively conversation while they both ate. Riley has not seen Jacob, nor his best friend Lucas, smile so much. He was trying, with all his might, not to assume the worst, but when Jacob and Lucas would stop talking, and just look at each other intimately, sharing little smiles and blushes, Riley's insides caught on fire. He wanted to shatter the glass into a million pieces and beat the shit out of his best friend. He wanted to, and he was aware that he was fully capable of doing it, too, but he couldn't... So he walked away, and drove home to wait for whatever tiny comfort he could gather in Erika's arms. * * * The rumors spread like wildfire. Over the next few weeks, all everyone could talk about was the question of whether Lucas was gay. Riley was surely not the only one who has noticed the amount of time he spent with the school's only gay kid, Jacob. Everyone else saw it. All throughout the dark corners of the school, the girl's bathrooms, the parking lots, everyone was speculating. The problem was, everyone was too scared to ask Lucas. Jacob was less threatening, so everyday they would ask Jacob about Lucas, and everyday Jacob would smile widely and say, "We're just good friends." The football team didn't give up that easily, and it was they that initiated the day that would crush Riley and would change Celestia High. Genesis Linder, the enormous linebacker, have been making snide comments about Lucas behind his back. The rest of the football team simply laughed along with him, neither encouraging nor contradicting him. On the morning of the homecoming game, as several of the players were eating in the courtyard, Genesis spotted Jacob from a distance walking alongside Penelope and Melanie. "Faggot alert," he joked, "watch out guys, he might turn you, too." He laughed at his own joke, not knowing that Lucas had just arrived at the table. "What the fuck did you say?" snarled Lucas. Genesis flinched but he decided to save face. "Dude, you know, the whole school already thinks that that fag Jacob tricked you into swinging his way," he said aloofly. "Genesis, I swear if you call him that again I will fucking stuff your head up your own ass," he yelled. "So it's true what they say then?" "It's none of your business who I'm with and I don't have to explain anything to you," the courtyard was silent, and Lucas had just realized that everyone's eyes were on him, even Jacob's from a few tables over. "Why do you guys care so much?" he directed to everyone else, "It's not like I go around keeping track of your love lives." No one answered, everyone was still listening with rapt attention, Lucas stood up. "It's the gay thing isn't it? I knew it was going to be a problem. But you know what? Fuck you." He walked over to Jacob, hugged him and kissed his head. "I'm in love with this boy," he said presenting the blushing Jacob, "I don't fucking care what you say about me, but if I as much hear of any of you messing with Jacob," he looked at Genesis, "I'll punish you myself." There was a stillness in the courtyard. It was as if everyone had frozen in shock with the latest news. Lucas brought his tray over to Jacob's table. He kissed the boy again and proceeded to eat. Jacob recovered from his embarrassment and started sipping his chocolate. The courtyard's noise resumed but it was mostly talk about Lucas and Jacob. It would take a while before the gravity of the situation would sink in, but for now, they all stared at the two and definitely saw that they were very much in love. * * * Riley was not having the best year so far. Coach Brenneman has yelled at him at least twenty times for his lackluster performance, he needed to catch up on all his schoolwork and Erika wasn't at all helping with her wanting to constantly spend time with him. And then there was Jacob, the boy who starred in each and every one of his nightly dreams. He thought it couldn't get any worse. He was wrong: "I'm in love with this boy," Riley heard as he exited the building and walked onto the courtyard. It was all he needed to hear. He didn't know it then, but the image of Lucas kissing a blushing Riley coupled with the words "I'm in love with this boy," will remain clearly in his mind in the next few months, slowly eating him away. All he knew at that moment was the sorrowful torment that he could feel burning his very skin. Was it real what he felt for Jacob? He didn't know, but Jacob being in another man's arms was something that neither his mind nor his heart could process. He hated the fact that his body was acting this way, so he threw away the uneaten food that he had already paid for, rushed to his car and headed for home, all the while trying to stifle the rising feeling to crash the car. "FUCK!" he yelled as he remembered he had to be in school for the homecoming game that night. He couldn't just abandon his duties as captain so he made an illegal U-turn and sped back towards the way he came. "It's going to be alright," he started telling himself, "It's going to be....alright." * * * Every year for homecoming, Celestia High's football team plays against their rival high school, Acheron High. And every year, the Celestia Cougars beat the Annihilators. So, in effect, the homecoming dance has always been a celebration of the victory. And of course, Erika has been the homecoming queen for the past three years. It was almost miraculous that Riley scored the winning touchdown, given the fact that he hasn't been on top of his game. The crowd of Celestians was going insane when the the siren signaled the end of the game. Erika ran to the field to kiss Riley hard on the lips, right before his teammates lifted him up on their shoulders. Everyone was pretty much worshipping their football god with cheers. This was everything that Riley had ever hoped for. But he wasn't the least bit happy about it. High on his teammates' shoulders, Riley could clearly see the stands. He could clearly see where Jacob was as he had been watching the boy throughout the game. Worst of all, he could clearly see the boy in Lucas's arms, kissing him with much passion. The rest of the spectators were too busy cheering that they hardly even noticed the two lovers. Lucas probably ran to Jacob immediately after the game and they were having a very intimate moment in a sea of anonymity. The crowd started to chant his name. The team was screaming in celebration. Erika's breasts were bouncing alongside the parade. And yet, Riley felt that this wasn't the best way to celebrate the win. * * * After the commotion in the field, the charged spirit of the football team rampaged onto the locker rooms. Each team member patted Riley's back, congratulating him on the winning touchdown. When Lucas approached, Riley faked an enthusiastic smile. "Hey man," started Lucas, "nice touchdown back there." "Yeah? Thanks, Lucas," Riley replied curtly. "Hey listen, are you going to the dance?" Riley asked automatically, although he already knew that Lucas hated homecoming dances. He has never gone to a single one in the past three years they have been in Celestia. "Fuck yea!" said Lucas with real enthusiasm. "What? I thought you hated those dances," Riley felt the direction of the conversation, and he stifled any feeling whatsoever. "I did, but this time I get to dance with Jacob," he smiled widely, bouncing on his toes, "how can I pass that up?" Riley winced. "That's...great." "Hey listen, I gotta go change. I'll see you at the dance in a few, ok?" Riley merely waved and finished changing. He was supposed to go meet up with Erika at her house and drive her to the dance, but with the prospect of what's ahead, Riley just wanted to go home. After gathering all his things, Riley left the still boisterous locker room and headed up to the field, expecting it to be empty. He was walking in the direction of the parking lot when he heard voices in the stands. Immediately, he recognized them as Penelope, Melanie, and of course, Jacob. "Ooooh, come on Melanie spill," said Penelope. "It's no one, okay! Just some boy," said Melanie. "Now, Mel, that's not what I heard. Stephie Hall told me that he's the hunk of the Calculus Club," it was Jacob's voice, and Riley walked over as if automatically. "What's his name?" asked Penelope. "Marcus Trent..." Melanie almost whispered. Penelope shrieked in excitement, "Marcus and Melanie! Oh! How cute! M&M! I can't believe the three of us all have dates for homecoming! Me with Ethan, Melanie with this Marcus, and you with......Riley!" "What? I'm going with Lucas, remember?" objected Jacob. "H-Hey...Jacob," said Riley hushly. Penelope and Melanie were looking at him with supreme hatred. They obviously knew about what had happened. "Hi Riley," said Jacob, a little unevenly. "Can I talk to you for a second?...alone?" Riley didn't know what he was doing. God, he didn't even know what to say to Jacob. He just wanted so much to spend the tiniest amount of time with Jacob, and this seems like the only chance he'll get. "Why?!" said Melanie and Penelope in unison, they were still throwing him murderous looks. Riley ignored the girls. He focused all of his attention on Jacob, "Jacob...please? I just want to talk, that's all." As hard as he tried, Jacob couldn't refuse Riley. The boy was so vulnerable in front of him and Jacob could just as easily send him on his way, but he couldn't. "Alright. But only for a little bit." The girls looked incredulously at Jacob, but being the friends they were, they chose not to object. Jacob followed Riley to the middle of the expansive football field. It was rather dark, so the stars up above were glimmering with fantastic intensity, Jacob looked up in time to see a shooting star surf across the night sky. Riley was silent. His palms were sweating, his pulse was racing, and his thoughts were all over the place. All his energy was centered on not grabbing Jacob in the middle of the field and kissing him. "Is everything okay, Riley?" Jacob broke the silence. "I just wanted to talk..." Riley said, stopping and facing Jacob. "Okay," Jacob looked away. He wasn't going to let Riley's eyes consume him. Not again. Back at the stands, he could see Lucas join the girls, and he could almost feel him being worried. "I-is it true?" Riley finally said, facing Lucas's general direction. "What is?" "You and Lucas. Are you two love?" Riley couldn't understand why this was so hard for him to ask. It was almost as if he was confirming what he feared in the first place. Jacob paused and allowed himself to look at Riley for a second. He still looked like the cocky football jock that Jacob knew, but a lot less confident. Jacob was trying to come up with something to say. He knew what he felt about Lucas, he was sure of that. But, how could Riley still manage to get under his skin? How could this boy in front of him make him so nervous about saying the wrong things? " good to me," he started slowly. "For the past two months we've gotten to know each other a lot and what I found out about him I really liked. He helped me nurse my mother back to health. He took me to San Francisco and it was much more romantic than I ever thought it could be. This morning, he just told the whole freaking school that he loved me." He needed to convince Riley that he was alright without his "friendship", that his body didn't quiver at his sight. "I mean, Riley, how could you not love someone who does that?" Every word. Every word that came out of Jacob's mouth were like deliberate stabs at Riley's heart. And he's finally starting to understand why. "Were you...I mean, I thought...I thought you liked me?" Riley's mouth was moving by itself. He heard what he asked and he knew how absurd the question was, but it was too late to take it back. Jacob was taken aback. He didn't expect Riley to ask him this. He stopped for a moment to think about what to say. Riley watched him closely as if waiting for a confirmation. The silence stretched on for eternity and Jacob just looked at Riley. Finally, he smiled, "I did like you, Riley. I owe you my life, pretty much, and after that night I expected us to be really close friends." Jacob turned around and started walking back to the bleachers. "But things have a way of turning out unexpectedly. And here we are now." He turned to give Riley a somber look before walking away. Riley watched as the distance between him and Jacob slowly grew. A better part of him wanted to call him back, but he knew it would be pointless. He looked up to see two shooting stars pass by. How could it be that the one thing he could wish for was walking away? * * * Riley tried to have a good time at the dance because Erika sure was having a blast. The darkened gymnasium was filled with almost everyone in the school and they all wanted to go up to Riley and congratulate him themselves. Erika loved the attention that he was receiving, for she knew it would ensure another year as queen. "Let's dance," pouted Erika. "Let's not," said Riley. He didn't want to mix in with the crowd in the dance floor. Not when he knew who was there. "Aww, come on! They're about to announce Homecoming Court soon so we should at least dance before they crown us!" She held out her hand and practically dragged Riley onto the middle of the dance floor. As they were dancing, he tried to erase Jacob from his mind. His life was now back to normal so he didn't understand why a big part of him still wanted to disrupt that. Erika was dancing closer and closer to Riley when at the corner of his eye, he caught the unmistakable grace that is Jacob on the dance floor. He couldn't help but look and get reminded of the first time he ever laid eyes on him. He was beautiful. The boy was wearing Lucas's letterman jacket. Riley cringed. Him and Lucas were intertwined in their own gyrations, lost within their very own movements. The sky could very well fall down around them, and yet they still wouldn't know. And the one thing that Riley could not fathom was the fact that everyone in Celestia High was so accepting. Lucas kisses Jacob in front of them and not one of them bats an eye. Sure they were shocked the first time, but Lucas was still as respected as he was even before he came out. Life wasn't fair, thought Riley. "Okay, okay, settle down," said the principal onstage. The dancing bodies stopped to listen. "It's time to announce this year's Homecoming King & Queen! Now remember that the King & Queen would immediately be part of the Student Activities Board and would have to plan one school spirit event by themselves. So, without further ado," he opens up the first envelope he was holding, "this year's Queen is...Erika Evers!" Why did he care so much about what everyone around him thought, anyway? Why did he need to have the perfect girlfriend? Why did he have to be the most popular guy in school? "And this year's King is....oh but of course, our football hero, Riley Gabriel!" Riley hesitantly walked up the stage to take the crown as the band started playing slow music for the King and Queen's first dance. Riley was still lost in his thoughts, absent-mindedly keeping his eyes on Jacob who was watching him from the side. It all seemed too much like a role. It was as if he was born and everybody just decided that he was to be this jock who would be homecoming King and who would date the prettiest girl in school. And he was cursed his whole life to try and live up to that. "Come on boy!" he remembered his father yelling, "that's not how you throw a football! You're throwing it like a pansy! I tell you now, boy, no Gabriel is going to be a pansy!" Maybe I am a pansy, Riley thought to himself, too scared to even try and change this fucked up reality. He was always doing what everyone else expected of him. "But things have a way of turning out unexpectedly," he heard Jacob's voice play again in his head. "And here we are now," Riley said lowly. Erika looked up at him, while still trying to dance along with the romantic music. "What's that, baby?" asked Erika. For this first time in their relationship, Riley noticed how much makeup Erika had on. He noticed how the blondness of her hair looked too...unreal, and how her breasts were always so close to exposure. "It's so....fake." "What is?" asked Erika, feigning concern. "Everything..." he murmured. He knew he wasn't making much sense, but Erika didn't seem to notice, or care. Right now, the one thing he could think of that made sense in his life was saving Jacob's life. "Hm...What do you want to do about it?" asked Erika softly, resting her cheek onto his chest. "We could just....keep on dancing...." He could just keep this oh-so-perfect life that he always thought he wanted. He could marry Erika and have 2.5 kids, and become a senator. He could keep living with himself knowing that somewhere was a boy that made him happy once. Or he could just stop being a fucking pansy and do what he really wanted. I think I'll choose the second option, he thought to himself. Years and years from now, Riley would look back at this moment and smile, knowing that he made the right choice. * * * To be continued. *** Send your comments to I like to read as much as write. Oh, and I LOVE getting emails from foreign countries, too. =)