Joke of the day

Joke of the day

Every man needs a go-to joke.

Joke N° 3981
How Golf Is Like Urinating In A Restroom
1. Keep your back straight, knees bent, and feet shoulder-width apart. 2. Form a loose grip. 3. Keep your head down. 4. Avoid a quick backswing. 5. Stay out of the water. 6. Try not to hit anybody. 7. If you are taking too long, you should let others go ahead of you. 8. You shouldn't stand directly in front of others. 9. Be quiet while others are about to go. 10. Keep strokes to a minimum.
Donnie Z.
Joke N° 3987
The Price Of Marriage
Neil H.
Joke N° 3988
A screwdriver walks into a bar and takes a seat up by the bartender. The bartender looks up at him with a puzzled look on his face. He leans closer to the screwdriver and says, "Hey buddy, you know we got a drink named after you in here." Suprised, the screwdriver looks up at the bartender and responds, "You got a drink named Carl?"
Mike D.
Joke N° 3989
Tasty Lawyer?
The scene is a dark jungle. Two tigers are stalking through the undergrowth in single file when the one to the rear reaches out with his tongue and licks the bottom of the tiger in front. The startled tiger turns around and says, "Hey! Cut it out, all right!" The rear tiger says, "Sorry," and they continue. After about another five minutes, the rear tiger again reaches out with his tongue and licks the bottom of the tiger in front. The front tiger turns around and cuffs the rear tiger and says, "I said stop it!" The rear tiger says, "Sorry," and they continue. After about another five minutes, the rear tiger once more licks the bottom of the tiger in front. The front tiger turns around and asks the rear tiger, "What is it with you, anyway?" The rear tiger replies, "Well, I just ate a lawyer and I'm trying to get the taste out of my mouth!"
Carey R.
Joke N° 3990
The Horny Wife
Ivana has been married to Bart for a while now, yet she is so horny that every time her husband goes away on a business trip, she invites not one, not two, but three men to come over and play hide the snake. One time when her husband was leaving for a business trip, she had three men lined up to come over right away. However, this time Bart forgot his passport at home so he had to rush back as fast as he could. When Ivana heard the door open, she told all the men to hide somewhere. The first guy hid under the bed, the second in the closet and the third out on the balcony. Bart walks into the room and sees his wife standing naked and asks, "Ivana? Why are you naked?" She immediately claims that she was changing into her PJs for a quick nap. But then Bart hears something under the bed. He finds the first guy under the bed and exclaims, "Who the hell are you? And what are you doing here???" The guy pulls a fast one and says "I'm a carpenter, and your wife sent for me to come and fix the bed... it's fine now." Bart sighs and says, "Okay, how much do I owe you?" Bart gives the man $20, as he requested, and tells him to get the hell out of his sight. He then opens up the closet to get his passport from the drawer and sees yet another guy. "Who the hell are you???" he shouts. "Your wife sent me to come and fix the closet because it had some loose hinges on the inside," he proclaims. Bart just sighs it off again and says, "Okay, here's $20, now get the hell out of my sight!" While all this is going on, the man outside on the balcony is looking through the window and all he sees is Ivana's husband giving these guys some money. So wanting his share as well, he barges through the balcony door blurting, "I was sleeping with her too! I was sleeping with her too!"
Sacha Issa
Joke N° 3992
Jesus To The Rescue
Jesus saw a crowd chasing down a woman to stone her and approached them. "What's going on here, anyway?" he asked. "This woman was found committing adultery and the law says we should stone her!" one of the crowd responded. "Wait," yelled Jesus, "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone." Suddenly, a stone was thrown from out of the sky, and knocked the woman on the side of her head. "Aw, c'mon, Dad...," Jesus cried, "I'm trying to make a point here!"
Walter N.
Joke N° 3991
Counting Sheep
A blonde dyed her hair brown because she was tired of being picked on. She was driving along the countryside when she got a bright idea and stopped at a nearby farm. She said to the farmer: "If I can tell you how many sheep you have in total can I have one?" "Ok," said the farmer. So she quickly counted them and said 91. The farmer looked around astonished and said, "Alright take one." As she was walking back to her car the farmer said, "If I can guess your natural hair color can I have my dog back?"
Ken F.

More Like This


      Best of the Web

        Special Features