Why is this mother setting us off like no other?


Don't hate me because I'm a better mother.

We first heard about Tiger Mother with the release of her book, “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother,” last week. But this thing has really taken on a life of its own with just about everyone weighing in on her hard line child rearing techniques and criticisms of Western parents. Mostly negatively.

It’s been all over the blogs, including this one.

Today, we had this editorial by David Brooks in the Times Union.

It just doesn’t seem to be dying down the way the school girls dancing to Beyonce did. I hate to see mothers criticize the choices other mothers have made. We should parent the way we believe is right and support each other, even if we don’t agree. Perhaps that is what seems to be getting everyone upset.

Maybe it is the rampant stereotyping of Eastern and Western ways.

Why do we care so much what Amy Chua says?

Tracy Ormsbee

8 Responses

  1. maggie says:

    Because she went to the court of public opinion to get justification for her choices. She chose a parenting style outside the norm of the geographic area where she lives and now she wants us all to say that her ends justify her means, and we all resent being used like that.

  2. momto1 says:

    Why do I care what Amy Chua says? I care because two children are being raised by her.

    I don’t have to support other parents even if I disagree with their parenting practices. Why would I support parents’ choices if I believe them to be harmful? Smoking in the presence of kids, hitting kids, berating a kid for making an error on the field, feeding kids excess junk food, withholding affection as a form of punishment- these are all parenting choices I would not support. I can go on and on, but my point is that other parents do not get my unconditional support.

  3. momto1 says:

    I hope we get comments from other Chinese parents. I have never seen a Chinese mother parent the way Amy Chua does.

  4. ChristineV says:

    You beat me to it. I read Brooks’ column this morning and found his perspective to be really interesting!

  5. Sunshine says:

    I wholeheartedly disagree with Ms. Chua’s principles, but I think that what has gotten everyone’s back up so much was the self-righteous way in which she expressed it. I’ve not read her book, but I did read thoroughly the WSJ excerpt. She basically presented her views while simultaneously putting down and insulting “Western” parenting.

    I think her air of superiority left us all feeling insulted and angry.

  6. Colleen says:

    I agree with Sunshine #5 — it is her air of superiority that irks me.

    But this is also about the money: I read that she got a 6 figure advance
    from her publisher. So all this controversy is only helping sales.

  7. dgc says:

    I couldn’t care less about her. I do however feel sorry for her kids.

  8. JBHmom says:

    While her parenting style isn’t anything close to mine, and quite honestly I see it as extreme, I have to wonder if she is really doing anything wrong? In our own backyards, we have mothers who expose their children to drug use, a rotating door of men, and language I find disgusting. I think that is also extreme, and far more damaging to the children in that lifestyle. Then there are the kids who go to the same schools as our children, but they have a mother who hits them, drinks every day, swears at them, and feeds them only pre-made meals or something from McDonalds. I would also consider this extreme.
    It’s all perspective, eh? Or: have we become so accustomed to the “parenting” styles in our own backyards (that are extremely different from our own) that we are numb to what is considered “extreme?”