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02 February 2010 @ 03:08 pm
So, LiveJournal here tells me that I haven't posted an entry here in a good thirty weeks. Now, it's not like I have a blogging schedule or anything, (which I obviously don't, seeing as my posts are sporadic and pointless), but I'd like to think that I'm going to post something before the little number reaches 52 weeks. I hope anyone who ever comes across this blog in the history of forever is at least a little bit entertained or feels some kind of compassion towards my daily life. I'm a complainer, but it's only because I want to do something different. 

I've just completed my first semester of grade 12 and I'm going to be starting my last semester of high school tomorrow. On one hand, this is strikingly boring and I am not looking forward to it at all. On the other hand, I didn't realise the monumental significance of this statement until I wrote it down. It's only a few months more of stupid girls permanently dressed in nothing and even stupider boys who are permanently stoned. Maybe I can start a more normal life then. I just want to make sure I get something done in my life that changes the life of one person even slightly. I know that I can't achieve that in high school. I want to get out into the world and relax a little bit. I want to start a family one day. I just want everything (or at least something) to fall into place one day. 

I'm a seventeen-year-old kid who is totally different from every other seventeen-year-old kid she's ever met. I'm not a total failure, but I'm not a joiner either. I'm a loner, but not a loser. I'm smart, but only as much as they quantify me to be. I've got limits placed on me by my society, but it's not like I'm going to start a revolution. I don't believe in mobs with torches screaming for justice. I believe in the power of each person to make another person understand what life is really about. I believe that a revolution can be led calmly and peacefully and I believe in the power of individuals to get things down without the help of others. If we all tried in our own specific ways, we could make a difference. Life is about helping people on a personal level. I'm not trying to start a movement. I just want to be me and I want that version of myself to be a good person. 

Mostly, I've realised I want to be a writer. Wouldn't that be nice?

P.S. I just realised that this is my first post of my time in grade twelve. How odd! 

P.P.S. I watched the sixth Harry Potter movie for the first time yesterday, and it was truly excellent! I think it was the best one yet and, as a hardcore fan of Chamber of Secrets, that's hard for me to decide! I loved it a lot. I could talk about it for a lot longer, but I think I'm just going to let it be this time without a huge review. I feel like the movie was really good and, even though there were some parts I would have omitted/added or changed, I think it was good enough as a movie that all of that doesn't even have to be said.

Also, I've recently been into Star Trek and Arrested Development a lot and I'm sad that I haven't updated this blog often enough to have talked about these two wonderful shows (and my passion for both of them) in enough detail. If I could sum it up: I love Spock and McCoy. Period. And I love all of Arrested Development. All of it.
Current Mood: calmcalm
Current Music: The Beatles - Eight Days a Week
04 July 2009 @ 07:33 pm
Why is it that people are, for the most part, electively illiterate? Why do people dislike reading so much? I find such solace in opening a book and being stuck deep in its story for hours, but I guess I can understand that everyone has his or her opinions and preferences. I understand completely that not everyone is going to love reading as much as I do, but sometimes I just can't bring myself to grasp that disliking or even hating to read has become accepted and almost encouraged by our society.

Even when it's something silly like writing information for your Facebook profile, why do people take so much pleasure in writing something like "Books? What's that?" or "I don't read"? Why is that so appealing to people? My perspective on these people is that they enjoy making fools of themselves. Those who don't read or don't care about it make it seem like that's something in which they take great pride.

But why? Does that mean that you look down on people like me who love to read? Is there something wrong, by your standards, with loving to read? I think that's the "safe" thing to say, especially on social networking sites like Facebook. It's safe to say you don't read. It's safer to tell people that you can't read than it is to tell them that you love to read. Why, though? Everyone makes it a big joke, but it's really not. Why do members of our society feel so safe, so sheltered under a blanket of idiocy, whether that idiocy is true or if they're pretending?

I'm not an elitist about this. I don't care what it is that people are reading. I'm not going to look over your shoulder and tell you what to do or what to display on something you call your profile. I just think it's sad that our society's "safe hiding place" is to remain happily ignorant. It's not a matter of liking or disliking reading. The thing that bothers me is that people feel so good about making a joke about all of it.

As a last note, you may have noticed that my entries have suddenly become public again. I think that, from now on, I will mostly post general things about life and let other people give me their perspectives.
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Current Mood: cynicalExasperated
Current Music: Meh, none.
I've got about 30-35 days left of this school year. I think I like the sound of that, because I suppose it means I don't have many projects or tests left to do. I've had some really good experiences this semester in terms of getting to know myself and changing, but I've also had a bunch of bad experiences as well. Somehow, my life this semester has been largely focused on school, even though I've lately decided to blow school off. It's not so much that I've been worrying about school or concentrating on it too deeply, but more that many of my pitfalls and successes are traced rather directly back to school. Half of my teachers are very nice, while the other half are my worst enemies, to put it simply.

I've learned that I don't really care about many people, especially authority. I don't really have respect for many adults because they consistently act as though they are entitled to some form of hero-worship just because of their age. I think the whole division between age groups is a result of the level of entitlement people feel as they age. The older people are, the more bitter they become. There are exceptions to this rule, just as there are to any other rule. However, I've yet to find anyone who doesn't follow this pattern. When I do, I'm sure I'll let you know. I vow to not be that way, though. And I also promise to myself and to everyone else that I will not forget what it's like to be a teenager. Life sucks, but it sucks for everyone. It's usually not fair. But adults will be quick to chastise you for complaining. When they complain, though, it's as if they're allowed because their lives actually do suck.

Most teenagers are hormone-driven, illiterate, closed-minded baboons. Am I the exception? Can I really judge myself on that? I like to think my hormones don't get the better of me (except when I'm PMSing, but that's not exclusive to teenagers, and that's not really the kind of hormone I'm thinking of in this context.) I know I'm literate, because those who aren't make me cringe with horror at the state of society. I know I am open-minded, except when people are obviously wrong. What I've learned is that people like to be right when they're right, and they like for you to tell them they're right even when they're not. I guess that's me in some ways, but I believe that's everyone. No one strives to be wrong. Everyone would rather be right, but the healthiest possible thing to do is say what you feel and to hell with people who tell you it's wrong. Unless it's actually wrong. Then you're fucked. No one looks to be rejected, either. There are people who just don't give a hoot if they're popular or not, and I'm probably one of those, but at the same time no one likes rejection. There's indifference and then there's dislike.

I can't wait for summer and time to work on my novel. It's one of the few aspects of reality that get me excited. When I think about it, my stomach churns and I almost know that I'm about to blow chunks. But I don't, because it's a happy kind of churning. When I get that odd feeling in the pit of my stomach, I know that it's something good; something that makes me happy. I get the same feeling when I'm being nostalgic. I know I've probably mentioned this in a past entry. It sounds familiar, but that doesn't matter. In any case, my book is only a chapter in length at this point, but I know that I will get a very big crack at it during this coming summer. I've got two completely free and inspirational months to work on it, and I know that I will. I'm very excited to do so. Recently, I've grown obsessed with it and I keep looking for inspiration online. Whenever I sit down to work on it, I suddenly realise I have a project to do or a test the next day, and my writing gets pushed to the back of my head. It's sad but it's very true. That doesn't matter. I'll do it, I know. It's not over till it's over! 

That's all I have to say for now, I suppose. This has been fun and rather refreshing. Good luck, cruel world.
Current Mood: apatheticApathetic
Current Music: Up and Down - Yeti
24 April 2009 @ 06:26 pm
You know how I said in my previous entry that nothing will change when I turn seventeen? Well I think I was very wrong about that. Nothing huge happened in the life outside my head, but I've got to say that most of the interesting stuff happens in the world inside this psyche of mine. In any case, something outright remarkable happened. I think I've somehow gained a strengthened sense of empathy overnight. I know that that sounds weird and somewhat impossible, but it's true. Something just clicked in my head, and the 17-year-old me is very different from the 16-year-old me.

Also, another great thing that happened is that I've realised that school is important, but that it's so much easier to get an 85 and lead a normal life than it is to get a 95 and lead a normal life. I think about all the times I compromised myself or my life outside of school just to get a few extra percentage points. What I've realised is that most of the programs (including the one(s) I want) need only a high 70 or low 80 for acceptance. I could achieve that without ever doing any work, so I don't know why I even try super hard. Try hard but relax! It'll come to you. Enjoy yourself. So much wisdom in such a short time. It's remarkable to me that I can even achieve something like that.

Not much else is happening in life, and I do enjoy that. Oh, except music kicks ass. Yeah that's about it. It's my life! 
Current Mood: contemplativeContemplative
Current Music: Send in the Boys - Milburn
14 March 2009 @ 08:02 pm
Oh, LiveJournal. I haven't written anything here in the longest time. Life kind of had me tied up. In any case, I think I'm back. Maybe for a long time, but probably just for this post. And then I'll get bored and leave this web site for another year or so. I always keep coming back to this when I have nothing else to do. For a long time, this web site was one my closest friends. And the strange thing is, it always feels so difficult to start writing.

The blank space here is so intimidating. I want to write something, and I want it to be entertaining and witty, but there's just not enough happening in real life. I wonder how much of what happens to interesting people is fabricated. I guess this is why I write books and not blogs. I can write forever and ever about some imaginary person's life, but when it comes down to my own, there's not much to say. Well, there's a lot to say, a lot to do and a lot to be, but it's cheesy and difficult to write it all out. And it's pointless anyway, writing about what you want when you could be out working for it.

Real life is always so boring, so pointless, so not worth a mention or second thought. Whenever I write, it's about something proverbial. I can't write about what's really happening. It's not that nothing's happening, it's just that it feels strange to write about it.

I digress, however. There is something going on. I'm having a huge internal conflict about what to make of my life. I know what I want above all is to be an author, and I know that, because I want that so badly, I will have it. But the problem lies in the fact that I hate school. I hate how school makes your favourite thing into something trivial and quantifiable. If I want to know what stupid percentage a 60-year-old menopausal woman calling herself a teacher thinks of my writing, I'll ask her personally. Besides, anyone with the possibility to think for him or herself knows that the only people who do well in school/careers are suck-ups. And I really refuse to become that.

My birthday's coming up, the big ole 17. I don't really feel excited for it at all. In the end, it'll just feel the same as being a year younger. What happened this year that changed anything? Well, a lot of stuff. I can't claim that nothing happened in these 365 days, but I can claim that there's something new all the time. There comes a point where even the occurrence of something unique or some new experience gets old. Changes might be drastic, but they're common. If you look at life, even excitement is a routine. Human emotion is a routine. School, marriage, war, tragedy, careers, death--it's all constantly happening to billions of people around the world. What makes me or you or anyone else think we're unique? What makes us think our situation hasn't happened in its entirety to someone else somewhere in a faraway land?

And to someone in a "faraway" land, YOUR country is pretty friggin' far. Life is relative. Sickeningly relative.

In other news, life is the same old stuff.
Current Mood: boredBored
Current Music: Electric Feel - MGMT
06 August 2008 @ 01:00 pm
See, there's this LiveJournal community calledcreativewriter . I would like to join and am thereby entitled to write an entry explaining why. So if this doesn't interest/apply to you, then it's probably best not to waste your time on it. Let's begin.


I do a lot of writing. I try to write every day, although that's sometimes a promise I fail to keep. I'd like to be writing always, but usually I'm stopped by places I have to go or work/school I have to attend. For me, writing is more than just words to paper. It has been there for me when people have not. It's still there when I need to cheer myself up or put down all of my emotions. Mostly, though, it helps me understand myself and others more easily. When I write, I create a handful of characters. I learn everything about them. Most of the stuff I learn about them doesn't make it into the story, but it's there in case I need to pull it out for reference.

In my daily life, I'm not really a serious person. When I write, I feel a passion for it that is unmatched by any other aspect of my life. I write with complete conviction in all of my characters. Often, when it comes out, I'm not ecstatic about it, but I've learned over time and through meeting many people, that most of us feel the same way. However, what makes me different from the vast majority is that many people give up when they don't feel confident with what they've written. On the contrary, I feel a sense of encouragement that comes from inside me. It's as though my driving force is knowing that I have so much to learn and so much to tell.

This sounds somewhat sappy, I know. But I can't help that because all of what I have written is true.
Current Mood: accomplishedAccomplished
Current Music: Tiki God - The Presidents Of The United States Of America
15 May 2008 @ 05:45 pm
I think I am going to start a project. I will start today, May 15 2008. Every day from now on (including today) I will add 5 new songs to my iTunes. Every single day. It doesn't matter where they come from, who they're by, etc. All that matters is that I get five songs each day. Luckily, five songs is a minimum and if I wish to get more than that, I can. :)

That's all for now.

Leave suggestions of songs or artists in the comments!!
Current Mood: excitedExcited
Current Music: Anything!
01 February 2008 @ 04:09 pm
Did anyone go to school today? All I know is that there was just so much snowfall and chaos that I decided not to go. It was only the first day of the semester, so it was basically everyone just getting introduced to each other. I really don’t understand why my school made the first day of school on a Friday. But I suppose it doesn’t really matter too much. I’ve had a break from school since Monday. I can’t believe my break has been this long but it has been so good.

I discovered a lot, such as the fanfiction I posted a couple entries back and I rekindled some old loves like the vlogbrothers. Most importantly, I watched a lot of CNN, specifically the politics segments. I finally realised that even though I want to be a translator or an editor or a teacher, being in politics would not actually be so far-fetched for me. I know that politics are a pretty ugly game but they interest me infinitely and I want to know more.
This week has been pretty much a learning experience and I’ve had a few laughs and good moments. One of the things that most people know I need for living is music. Music is the liquid in my veins and it keeps me from falling over and dropping dead. This week I downloaded loads of new songs but they were mostly from the same old artists. However, there is one artist I found whom I absolutely adore.

I discovered an artist called Jack Johnson. He is fairly popular now but I realised that there are actually songs I heard from him prior to his rise to fame – I just didn’t know they were his. He is a little bit of Jason Mraz (who is another obsession of mine) but slightly more acoustic. His songs are sad and happy at the same time, but most importantly there is always a metaphor or a story in them. Another thing I love about them is their wisdom.

If you’re looking for a new artist and if you’re getting bored with your old music, Jack Johnson is pretty much made of awesome. One of my favourite songs from him is Sitting, Waiting, Wishing. Some other good songs are… well, actually I cannot even choose since they are all so good. If I had to absolutely shorten the list to the five best (apart from Sitting, Waiting Wishing), I would have to say, in no particular order:

1. Staple It Together
2. Dreams Be Dreams
3. Better Together
4. Banana Pancakes
5. Never Know

I almost feel bad about excluding the other songs I found because they are all really good, too. But if you’re only going to download a couple songs from him (if any) you should go ahead and download those. He’s such an inspiration! I’m listening to Sitting, Waiting, Wishing right now and I just feel like I have to say this! He’s so amazing. Whenever I’m sad he makes me happy and whenever I’m happy he keeps me there. I’m one of those people that when I’m sad and I listen to a sad song I feel better because I feel like I’m not the only one. And when I’m happy and I listen to a sad song I’m still happy and it brings me down to Earth in a way.

Must I always be waiting, waiting on you?
Must I always be playing, playing your fool?
No I can’t always be waiting, waiting on you.
I can’t always be playing, playing your fool.
Current Mood: contentContent
Current Music: Breakdown - Jack Johnson
30 January 2008 @ 09:15 pm
Hey. I’ve been updating profusely lately and I’m very glad because I have just so much to talk about. Life is going well for once and I don’t think it’s because of anything particular that I feel this way. I think that it’s just the fact that I’ve been looking at things a little differently and I’ve started to brush off most of the bad stuff that goes on. But that’s not really important. What’s important is that I’ve been having a good time recently.

In the spirit of my sudden good mood, I thought that for this entry I might as well talk a little bit about something I’ve been obsessed with since the summer of 2007. Somewhere in August of last year, I came across a YouTube phenomenon called the "vlogbrothers". This is a channel of two brothers – one of them, John Green, is a published writer (I own one of his books) and the other, Hank, is an ecologist and amateur musician. They are both unexplainably awesome. Frequent topics in the vlogs were politics, humour, books, humour, silliness, humour, humour, humour and yes, you guessed it, humour.

The project is about the two of them not communicating textually throughout the year of 2007. For the whole year, their goal was to communicate only in the form of two- to four-minute video blogs or "vlogs" that they would take turns doing by day (they didn’t do any on weekends). When they broke the rule by accidentally communicating textually, the brother who broke the rule would have to perform a "punishment" both his brother and the people watching the video decided on. An example of a punishment is when John had to wax his chin.

Also, there were occasionally challenges that the brothers would do. They were not mandatory but it was fun to watch. An example of a challenge is when John challenged Hank to perform an original song every time he had a vlog on a Wednesday (once every two weeks). Hank accepted this challenge and thus did a song every second week. His songs are very humorous, suffice it to say. A challenge that was offered to John by Hank is the "Question Tuesday" which was meant to be a period of question-answering done by John every time he had a Tuesday vlog. This did not take off as well as the song challenge did (actually, it didn’t take off at all.)

The watchers of these videos are called the "nerdfighters" who are nerds who fight for the rights of nerd-kind all across the globe. There are all types of nerdfighters, just as there are all types of nerds. Anyone who watches the brothers’ videos or is generally awesome in any way is considered a nerdfighter. Some of the terminology used by nerdfighters is "jokes" (which is what teenagers say a lot. Basically, the nerdfighters mock this term. Other variations of this term are "jokez", "joaqs" and "joques") and "made of awesome" (which is what all nerdfighters are.)

Another trademark of the project is the "happy dance" which is believed to be a dance that only nerdfighters do when they are happy about something. This dance varies from person to person but it is usually arm-centric or leg-centric and very rarely incorporates both. No matter what your dance is, you do it when you are happy. It does not have to be a genuine dance you do when you’re happy but John and Hank did them ceremoniously and sometimes even in public. There was the "Happy Dance Project" which was a compilation of nerdfighter happy dances from around the world.

In 2008, we all thought that the project would come to an end and it did to an extent. However, videos still show up once a week or so. The brothers still post but they had to get on with their lives at some point. The power of their channel and the general hubbub is gone slightly but it is just as awesome and the videos are just as funny. Also, in 2008, there were many spin-offs of the channel such as vloglovers, fiveawesomegirls, fiveawesomeguys, oneawesomefanboy, twomediocrepeople and fiveawesomepeople (the last four are spin-offs of a spin-off).

The most well recognised running gag (arguably) is the "my pants" joke. The concept of this humour is that every book title sounds better when you add "in my pants" to the end of it. Also, the vlogbrothers forum is called My Pants, which leads to much humour. Their web site was originally called brotherhood2.com (which has the forum on it) but their new web site is called nerdfighters.ning.com. At one point they also had a wiki but for whatever reason this got taken down.

I will remember them if for nothing else, for the fact that every time I had a bad day I would watch their videos and it would feel as though my life was a hundred times better. It would feel like there were truly nothing left to worry about. They have been truly therapeutic. 
Current Mood: amusedAmused
Current Music: Hurricane - Bob Dylan
30 January 2008 @ 07:17 pm
Everyone go here for a laugh:


Oh, my lord, is that ever funny. 

Also, is my new layout overtly girly or WHAT? I love it to bits but it's just so pink! HURRAH! And I just realised that it's fairly relevant to Valentine's Day, so I'm going to say that the symbolism was intentional.
Current Mood: ecstaticEcstatic
Current Music: Wonderboy - Tenacious D