







PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia:
How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings

by Rob Brezsny

Check out Rob's band World Entertainment War.



You can contact Rob at beautyandtruth@freewillastrology.com.


LEO (July 23–Aug. 22): "Dear Rob: I have to say that you unfailingly tune in to my manic and riotous subconscious screams every single week and help me transform them into something beautiful, fresh, and worthy of serious amusement. How do you do it? Can you teach me how to perform the same service for myself? —Leo Longing for Self-Mastery." Dear Future Self-Master: You may not realize it yet, but in the past few weeks you Leos have acquired scads of data that could provide excellent fodder in your quest for self-mastery. I suggest that you pore over your recent past and gather up the rich clues.

VIRGO (Aug. 23–Sept. 22): On the third anniversary of America's invasion of Iraq, many protests took place. But they were mild, not wild—more like Sunday picnics than the fierce mass demonstrations that raged in 2003. New York's rally drew a mere 1,000, Washington's 300. The march near where I live was a small affair led by two octogenarian women riding cream-colored scooters. They snacked on cookies and sang "This Little Light of Mine." I was shocked and awed by the lack of passion, especially since now it's even more appallingly obvious how stupid the war is than it was in the beginning. Don't you dare allow a similar apathy to creep into your own fight for justice, Virgo. For the sake of your future, you've got to redouble your righteous, ingenious anger.

LIBRA (Sept. 23–Oct. 22): The coming week should include a lot of back-and-forth, give-and-take, and to-and-fro. It will be a favorable time to jump into spirited debates and seek clarification through good-natured arguing. Dynamics that might feel uncomfortably adversarial at any other time could be invigorating now. In fact, I encourage you to bring up touchy subjects that everyone has been avoiding, because it's likely you'll finally be able to deal with them in candid and constructive ways. Your power symbol for the week is a child's seesaw.



CAPRICORN (Dec. 22–Jan. 19): In the Bible's Book of Exodus, 34:14, God says His name is "Jealous." Literally. Why isn't this fact more widely discussed by people who care about religion? In his book 50 Things You're Not Supposed to Know, Russ Kick says it's because America's Pledge of Allegiance would have to be altered to say, "one nation, under Jealous," which would lead to a redesign of U.S. currency, in which the motto "In God We Trust" becomes "In Jealous We Trust." Your assignment, Capricorn, is to withdraw your support for any deity that calls himself or herself Jealous—even as you also renounce any impulse in you that indulges in jealousy. It's time to drive home to yourself how insane it is to compare your life to anyone else's. You're perfect the way you are.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20—Feb. 18): Years ago I had a girlfriend who was a performance artist. At Easter time every year, she did a show in which she walked barefoot on top of a spiral of 22 colored, uncooked eggs without breaking more than a couple of them. Being 5-3 and 102 pounds helped her accomplish this semi-miraculous feat, but it still required great skill and concentration. I believe you have a comparable task ahead of you, Aquarius. Better start practicing.

PISCES (Feb. 19—March 20):Here are your words of power for the coming week, Pisces: finagle, serendipitous , tinker, ad-lib, revise, crafty, balance , rectify. I urge you to carry out actions that embody the spirit of all those terms. Once you do, I believe you'll be in perfect alignment with the cosmic forces coming to bear on you, and will therefore have prevailed upon those cosmic forces to provide you with the metaphorical equivalent of a skeleton key, universal password, or Swiss army knife.

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