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Anxiety over getting a new job, or stay depressed at old job?
lissmeanstrouble posted:
[TRIGGER] I have worked at this diabetic clinic as a medical assistant for 4 years now. I dont get along with my boss, or my coworkers. I think I hate my boss. Literally.... I hate to look at her, her voice makes me feel tense, im always on edge around her, she makes me uneasy the way she looks at me, she always talks to me in a tone that makes me feel she is suspiscious of me doing something wrong.
Ive always had to cover everyone elses shifts if they get sick or have a doctor appt or their kids are sick or a funeral, anything. But if something comes up with me I just better hope its on my days off, cause no one is capable of covering my position, so no one will, and no one does. If I take off work, it has to be a pretty big emergency cause they close our lab, which I run.
I started out here when I was 19 fresh out of college, and now I am 24.
I am considering even leaving the medical field.
Im just not happy here anymore. And Im not making enough money to ever move out of my dads house. I just turned 24 and I got to thinking im not getting any younger and the moneys not coming any faster where Im at. Im single and have no children, thank goodness...

Im debating still leaving my job, just because Im afraid the new job will be worse, or that i will miss having fridays off, or there will be a paycut, or Ill have to drive further, and will it end up being more expensive, What if I do something wrong my 3rd day and they fire me, and then I cant go back to my old job?

I havent quit my current job, but I still call it old, cause it is!
I have this crappy desk, she hasnt built me a new one yet, its much to short and much too small all around, my back is hurting, but no hurry to construct a proper work environment, lets just write her up and suspend her for tardies, and give her crap to make her wanna quit is probably what my boss is thinking. I swear she has it out for me, and I hate her guts. She has made me feel like killing myself more then once. There was a time she was asking me what I was doing while I was on the phone with a patient, and when I was done got on me about what I can do to keep busy, as if I wasnt already busy, so I got so mad I had a panic attack, and she shut me in my office and made me talk to her thru my asthma/panic attack, all my tears and gasping for air begging her to please leave me alone, she told me I had to get thru this, and talk to her. She has done so many other disrespectful things, and that to me crossed the line, and I hate her.
One time I was sick, and I called into work. I guess a coworker of mine was also sick, but my boss didnt let her off cause I called in, and I came in the next day feeling some what better and everyone gave me dirty looks and ignored me, and it comes to find out, its cause I said I was cleaning on facebook while they was at work, they were all pissed at me. I can do whatever I want while Im sick at home. So I havent gotten along with my coworkers since then, that made me so mad theyd hold a grudge against me for something so stupid I thought the hell with all of them, and quit making an effort to talk to them.
My days have grown so boring, and I dont even enjoy taking care of patients anymore, because of all the social tension and irritating offic epolitics and gossip going on. I want to get a job in a whole new medical office, or some where completely different like a warehouse, but since I alreadyhave a job, it would make sense to make sure I can get more money, but I wanna get out of here so bad Im debating leaving for even less pay.
I would like to go back to school some day but I havent decided what for. I just want a change to make myself happier, not worse!
Im just so scared of the change, can anyone give me their thoughts or advice on this subject? As Ive grown very confused over this decision.
Anon_3114 responded:
Why not look for a new job while you continue to work at the one you're dissatisfied with? That way, it could ease the depression of being in your current climate, but you wouldn't have the uncertainty of facing possible unemployment or an insecure situation at a new place.

Also, does your current boss know that she has brought you to the brink of ending your life? Maybe try having a calm, civil conversation with her (not when you're getting in trouble for something or otherwise feeling upset), just to let her know the depths of how unhappy you are there. She might be more empathetic.

Are you in therapy? Medication? Have you been diagnosed with anything? A good therapist might be able to help you clarify your goals and possible future careers. Help you to identify strengths and weaknesses to build for a new future.

Also, what are your expectations of your co-workers? Make sure you're not just pushing a lot of your discomfort onto them. A lot of your post is filled with things you were thinking they were thinking, or of possible slights they might've done. Maybe try to talk to them (politively, civilly) about possible issues you see.

And I don't mean to be critical, but when you say your co-workers call out for having sick children or funerals, those are emergencies. They have the right to live their lives outside of work as much as you do. I hate to say it, but it sounds like you're doing what you accuse them of doing, resenting when they aren't at work. Assess what you want out of your relationship with them, and think about ways you can contribute to a more positive work environment.

Always remember, the only thing you can control is your reaction to what people do, not what they do. With the help of a decent therapist, some medication if necessary, good coping skills, and a secure support base, your reaction might be less severe to what they're doing.

Best of luck to you
jim531 replied to Anon_3114's response:
You are too young to stay in a job or a field you are not happy with. You will stay depressed and later in life feel deep regret for not trying something else that is more enjoyable. Everybody feels anxiety with changing a job since there is some risk involved. You have to believe in yourself if you ever want to build a better life. I was 23, had low self esteem, and not sure what I wanted to do. I joined the military for several years and it was the best decision I ever made. Good luck.
lissmeanstrouble replied to Anon_3114's response:
I understand that they should get time off for emergencies, yes these things are fine, and I never did feel angry with them over it, until the day that I called in, and everyone treated me as if I called in just to clean house, when I was sick, and I was just trying to point out its not fair that there is coverage for them and not for me
lissmeanstrouble replied to jim531's response:
Thanks Jim I can tell you really read my post all the way through cause you are not asking questions about things ive already stated.
91663tom replied to lissmeanstrouble's response:
Update your resume and start sending it out to places you might interested in. I have been in the same situation where I had to move on. I stayed on if I could and used the time to find better employment. Nothing worse than being out in the cold with out work. It is actually good you can stay with your dad if you need to. It gives you the upper hand when it comes to selecting employment.

In this day and age, the cost of living is really hard to keep up with for single people. I always did ok but never got ahead until I was married. Staying with dad isn't a bad thing as long as it works for you.

Honestly, we all work with people we cannot stand. We all have bosses who, well act like bosses. It sounds like you are somewhat indispensable and that can work for you. If they need you so badly and give you a hard time about being off or whatever, it sounds like you have an advantage on them. That means you can work things to your favor with some effort. Don't think of fellow workers disliking you for being a problem to them but it is quite possible they might have some resentment to your position in the workplace. If you have haters, you must be doing something right. You might have to adjust how you look at it and maybe work it to your advantage. Sometimes you can stay and fight and make things better for yourself.

Finally, if you decide to change jobs, go for it. I have worked for many places in my life. Been laid off, fired or moved on myself. You are young. That is when change is exciting. You really don't have much to loose...that comes when you get old like Yes, it might be scary, but many good things seem scary at first but then turn out ok.

Lastly, one bit of advice I give my daughter....try to keep a low profile when you are on places like Facebook. You really don't want people knowing too much about you or what you do, especially when they are not true friends or just casual acquaintances.
lissmeanstrouble replied to 91663tom's response:
Thanks so much for your response!
My dad tells me the same thing about Facebook!
I dont share information with coworkers on that site, because it saves me alot of trouble.
You have brought on a new perspective, haters.
You have a really good point! I think they are jealous of my position. And instead of feeling annoyed by it, I should let it build me up.
Or find a new job.
I think ever since I started taking depression meds, I have been afraid of alot of things in life. And its taken me a couple years to learn that I can still function, and I can over come all my down feelings if I try my best to make myself happy.
I have been fighting over my desk... its not ergonomically correct. I actually got the maintenance guy to paint an accent wall purple in here this weekend. I am looking at a freshly painted accent wall right now... I have a better attitude this morning, after a good weekend.
They should be building me a new work desk soon as well.
But I still think its time to start looking for a new job.
I dont think its as much of an emergency as I made it out to be, Ill keep an eye out for a BETTER opportunity, but not hop to ANY opportunity.

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