Michael: What the hell is going on? Nellie is not a, uh, uh, a prostitute.
Gob: Of course, she is. Oh, but I can see where the misunderstanding is. You didn't know. (yelling to Nellie in the background) Maybe we can give him a family discount!
Michael: Family discount is right, Gob. This is the sister I've been talking about.
Gob: Maybe I should have been getting a family rate ... (breaking down) Oh, my God.

Michael: Other than Lindsay, of course.
Gob: Oh! Lindsay!


(as Franklin) Like to see a whore that does that! (as himself) Not the carrying the weight part, but ... on the other hand, if it's free.

Franklin: My name is Judge.
Gob: Whose name is Judge?
Franklin: My name is.
Michael: Okay.
Gob: That's a silly name.
Michael: That's enough.
Franklin: Judge, my name.
Gob: Yes, I am judging your name. It am silly.
Franklin: Is.
Michael: Please stop.
Gob: Oh, now, you're correcting my grammar.


Michael: Hey. What's this?
Gob: Just practicing my testimony. Needed a fake witness box.
Michael: And you couldn't have just taken my stuff off the desk first, or unplugged my computer?
Gob: Justice is swift, Michael.

Gob: The boy who couldn't cry.

Michael: Gob, pal, how about you? Can you find some work?
Gob: Oh, sure, Michael. As what, a waiter? Can I get you something, madam?
Lucille: I will have a vodka, though.
(Lucille and Gob laugh)
Gob: What? Oh.
Michael: You know, if you'd ever accidentally worked a day in your life, you'd know that there's no indignity in it.
Gob: Great. She'll have a vodka.

Gob: If you didn't have adult onset diabetes, I wouldn't mind giving you a little sugar.
Mrs. Van Skoyk: Oh, Gob ... you could charm the black off a telegram boy.
Narrator: Ok, we should tell you right now. She is the one who dies!

Michael: You just thought you'd put the stand right here?
Michael: Don't call it that.

It's okay, son. We'll figure it out. When we do, we'll have the last laugh. We'll be the laughing stock of the boardwalk.

Arrested Development Quotes

I am having a love affair with this ice cream sandwich.

George Sr.
