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22 / F / Straight / Single

Bakersfield, CA

My Details

Last Online
Feb 22
5′ 3″ (1.60m)
Body Type
Buddhism, and laughing about it
Dropped out of space camp
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids
English (Fluently), German (Poorly)

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My self-summary
If I don't respond to you, nine times out of ten it's because I forgot. Occam's Razor is the best method to employ when scrutinizing my motivations. (Or because my inbox fills to capacity every few days, take your pick.)

I'm asexual and aromantic. In tandem, that means that I'm completely unavailable. Don't bother asking me.

Why am I here? For the same reason that people attend demolition derbies. Or for the interesting conversation that I chance upon every blue moon.
What I’m doing with my life
Pretending to be a hot girl on OKC.
I’m really good at
Uncomfortable levels of eye-contact.
Inconspicuously kicking the shit out of people on dance floors.
Maintaining polite conversation for an unreasonably short duration of time.
Shooting rifles of varying gauges and design.
Frightening people with knife tricks.
Unintentionally designing my dialect to be incredibly pompous and boring.
Mastering all manner of vidya games within minutes of playing them.
The first things people usually notice about me
You've already noticed it. To reiterate would be redundant.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Anything related to Doctor Who, Sherlock Holmes or electric swing.
The six things I could never do without
Arbitrary lists and conversation fodder.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
How to further alienate myself from society and all its participants.
On a typical Friday night I am
Carting my drunk-ass friends around, playing bodyguard and breaking up bar fights.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I have a Sherlock Holmes shimeji.
I’m looking for
  • Everybody
  • Ages 18–28
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends
You should message me if
... no, you probably just shouldn't.
I delete messages consisting of 'what's up,' 'hey,' 'hi i'm ____ and you are?' as a kneejerk reaction. I won't even bother reading your profile if you send me this garbage.
No, I am not interested in your penis. Please advertise it elsewhere.

Protip: If you're wondering why I seem like such a massive bitch, consider the knuckle-dragging, bro-fisting, flagrantly illiterate kind of traffic I sift through on a daily basis. I am much more polite when it becomes apparent that you are not a member of the aforementioned category of misadventures in human progress.