Snoring and sleep deprivation

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Snoring and sleep deprivation
Fri, 05-09-2003 - 1:25pm
This past week, my SO's snoring has been keeping me awake. He's under more pressure from work, and also needs to drop 20 pounds. I've been reading the newspaper, and worrying about my mother. So he's snoring more, and I'm sleeping lighter.

If I can't go right back to sleep, I've been going into the spare bedroom. This drives him INSANE! It's about the only thing he really gets riled up about.

How can we possibly compromise? I've tried earplugs, we got a new mattress, I come running back into the bed as soon as I hear him wake up. He just is really, REALLY bothered by my not being there. And I really, REALLY need eight hours of sleep to function.

Any suggestions?

Lee Ann

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 05-09-2003 - 2:38pm
Has he been to the doctor and is he doing all he can to address the issue? I dated a guy about a year ago who was a horrific snorer and I was pretty close to the end of my rope when we broke up for other reasons. But to his credit, he was doing all he could to address the issue from his end. I for my part was wearing ear plugs even though I find them very uncomfortable.

If your SO *isn't* trying to fix the problem, then I think he's being selfish to expect you to just put up with it. If that's the case, that selfishness would bother me, perhaps enough to end the relationship.


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Sun, 05-11-2003 - 11:40am
he will have to learn to live with your absence. my husband and I have the same problems, though he snores EVERY NIGHT, I snore occasionally, usually after a heavy meal. I have spent many a night on the couch or spare room.

(I even encouraged him to go to a sleep clinic even though I knew there was little that could be done, just so I would get ONE NIGHTS UNINTERRUPTED SLEEP).lol

I don't think you have any choice. of course you need your sleep. explain to him that you are not REJECTING HIM - but you need your sleep. spend some time cuddling and all that before you go to the other room. but don't give up your sleep. and DON"T run back into the room for cryin' out loud. let him deal with his problem pronto, or live with the consequences. that's called growing up. if he continues to give you grief about this - you may want to rethink the relationship.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 05-13-2003 - 12:40am
I have a similar problem; my bf is extremely active in bed and will toss and turn. It keeps me up constantly. At this time in our relationship, I have decided that I enjoy sleeping with him more than I need the sleep, but that might change. We have talked about this, and because he loves me and cares about my health, though he would be sad if i slept in a different room, I'm sure he would accept that that is what I need to do to stay healthy and look after myself.

In your situation, I agree with the other posters, in that he needs to make an effort to try to tone down the snoring. Seeing the doctor, losing the 20 pounds, whatever he needs to do to find out if he can try to end it. If it is related to stress, maybe he can find a way to unwind before sleep? Exercise might help.

Otherwise, you cannot be a healthy and happy individual unless you get enough sleep. This is something that he will just need to understand. However, if you enjoy sleeping with him, then maybe you would be willing to sacrifice a full night of sleep once a week or something, to spend time with him.