Marc Jacobs Is the Best Thing Ever to Happen for Gay Liberation

The power gays are always trying to whitewash the gay world to convince mainstream culture we're "normal." What they really need is a poster boy like Marc Jacobs. He is attractive, successful, talented, and gayer than a lube-stained bathhouse.

Yes, gay men and women are still second class citizens in this country, and to try to get our marriage rights, the Human Rights Campaign and the other gay organizations are always trying to make America comfortable with people of the same gender getting married and raising a test-tube baby. They think that if middle America sees that all gays are as boring as Uncle Boyd going to a church pancake breakfast that they will accept the culture at large and embrace our issues. This is wrong. The problem isn't getting everyone to like the Uncle Boyds, it's trying to get them to love the glitter-throwing, thong-wearing, show-tune lisping fabulousness of Aunt Martin.

How are we going to do this? With Marc Jacobs. Everyone loves his clothes and his handbags, and we know this because fat ladies from Florida buy up his knock-offs in Chinatown. They love him so much that they put up with all of his crazy tomfoolery. Sure, he may be wrong about banning celebrities from his fashion show but he is totally right about running around in a skirt, posing like a pretty princess on vacation, and standing by his husbear when he poses naked and talks about his penis size in a smutty gay magazine.

The latest dust up is over a picture of a naked male go-go boy dancing at the afterparty for Jacob's fashion week presentation. Robert Duffy, the CEO of Marc Jacobs (the company, not the man) tweeted it to the world and then had to take it down. It wasn't because he was worried that everyone would find out Marc was chillin' with strippers, but because the dancer's wife wasn't happy about it.

That's because no one cares that gay ass Marc Jacobs got teabagged after showing the world his latest batch of gorgeous frocks. The great sham of the gay movement is that it is trying to convince the hetero society that we are just like them. Sure, there are many gay men and women living boring lives in the suburbs trying to raise some babies, but still, we are not like them. We will never be like them, and trying to hide it is only going to make them suspect us and hate us even more. So, instead of putting on a stuffed suit, let's all grab one of Jacobs' skirts and head out on the town. When the world gets used to the faggiest of the tribe, getting them to vote for the rights of Uncle Boyd down the street is going to be a snap.