Dear Abby: Choose your own way to grieve

8:12 PM, Aug. 2, 2013  |  Comments
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Dear Abby: I hate funerals. My grandfather died when I was 6, and one of my relatives held me over the casket and made me kiss his cold, dead face. It terrified me, and it's all I can remember of my grandfather. I force myself to recall any of the good times we had together, but that event still taints the good memory.


I'm sure some people think my not showing up at a service is a sign of disrespect or just not caring. Nothing could be further from the truthMy way of honoring that person is to keep my happy memories untainted.

Am I wrong? Selfish or lazy? Weird or crazy?

- Keeping My Distance in Washington State


Dear Abby: I am a 17-year-old girl who lives with my mother and my mother's boyfriend. This man has changed my world, and not for the better.


She has turned into this person I hardly know, and it's because of her boyfriend's influence. Before, when she was upset she would just not talk to me, but now she calls me the most horrid things and won't apologize unless someone besides me tells her.

I feel so alone. I honestly do want to kill myself, but I haven't because I know it isn't the right thing to do, even if it may seem right. I have tried talking to her. She won't listen to me. What should I do?

- Hopeless and Alone in Florida

Dear Hopeless and Alone: Because you honestly do want to harm yourself, contact the doctor who diagnosed you with depression.

The level of conflict in your home is not healthy. If you are still in school, discuss this with a trusted teacher or school counselor. In one more year you will be 18 and able to make decisions for yourself, but they shouldn't be based on your mother or her boyfriend. They need to be about what is truly best for you.

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