MOTHER LODE: In life & laundry, it all comes out in the wash

Cathy Runyon | By Cathy Runyon | Advance Newspapers
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on October 04, 2013 at 1:23 PM, updated October 04, 2013 at 1:25 PM

Among the many things I would miss if my husband were no longer in my house is finding hardware in the washing machine. Throughout our married life, I've found a succession of screws, nails, alligator clips, rivets, wire nuts, other small, shiny parts I couldn't identify – and washers – left behind in the washer.

The other thing I find in the washing machine that's evidence of a man in the house is money – small money, for the most part, silver and copper and a dollar bill now and then. It's change that got stuffed into the pocket on the way out of the hardware store after a purchase too small to bother with a debit card, or money that got scooped up off the night table when he got dressed in the morning. We've been money launderers for nearly 46 years.

The reason for these washday wonders is that my husband works with tools. Odd bits of hardware are part of his daily routine. The other reason is that men's clothing is designed with lots of pockets – not cute little patch pockets, but real compartments for carrying stuff. Whether the pockets came first, followed by the need to put something in them, or vice-versa, I couldn't say, but I know it all comes out in the wash.

Another cause is a wife who doesn't check pockets. (In our case, the wife is married to a man who doesn't check pockets, either.) I used to be quite diligent about pocket checks, but as the boys arrived, I was more concerned about ridding their clothes of ice cream drips, felt marker designs, body odors, and grass stains than fine details of sorting. And when you have boys, you get rather cautious about reaching into pockets while preparing the dirty clothing for the laundry. There can be nasty surprises in there, like semi-live animals and half-eaten peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Big boys have different stuff crammed in their clothes, but a pocket always is a source of adventure.

And if my husband were gone, I would miss the dirt. His clothes get greasy and oily, splotched with paint, paint thinner, and brush and roller cleaner. The cuffs of his jeans get filled with sawdust, and the knees get caked with garden dirt. Laundry is a challenge, and it's satisfying to see them come out clean and wearable once again.

My laundry is boring. I can do it with my eyes closed. Permanent press from Sag Harbor and cottons from Erika. I wash and dry my clothes primarily to get out the wrinkles. But a Carhartt jacket at the end of a long winter? There's an assignment that would make my home economics teacher sit up and take notice.

Laundry tells a tale of family life, from crib sheets and bibs to white (or blue) collars, from sneakers and sweats to maternity tops. What's in your washing machine? Would you miss it if it wasn't there?