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From his years in Hollywood... (This is actually an actor playing Ming, but he looks like Pan if he were angry, ah, I mean Satan, doesn't he? A very underrated actor. Let's find out more about him.)

Satan is the primary antagonist in the best selling novel "The Bible". His character is usually comically considered the epitome of evil, and he is often feared, mocked, or just marginalized. Satan's image, the horns and the rest was pulled from Saturn's Uranus when the Christians decided to huff a few gods like the Greek god Pan from people's consciousness. This started a trend of turning loved archtypes into an "evil scary" presence though the wonders of propaganda, a theme which continues throughout the story.

The Christian Version: Dispute with God

Mike taking out the trash.


Although Satan found himself just outside the pearly gates he wasn't about to take it lying down so he summoned up legions of pretend demons from the pretend eternal fires to strike back. Meanwhile, back in heaven, God was watching this unfold. So he asked Michael the Archangel and said, "Mike, take care of it." Michael got a bunch of angels down to the gates. It wasn't much of a fight, though, as the devils cast all of the angels out of heaven into the Pit of Hell in a fashion that would be imitated millions of years later by Leonidas and the Spartans. Satan has laughed about what happened that day ever since but because Satan and God are both invincible, the dispute has never ended, except in arm wrestling, beer drinking contests, Tic-Tac-Toe, and the occasional wet tee-shirt contest.

A very famous possessed man, Nixon



Part of a series of articles on

Evil Jesus
The Apostles
Heaven and/or Hell
Great Schism
The Crusades

The Trinity
The Father
The Son (Jesus Christ)
The Holy Spirit

The Bible
Old Testament
New Testament
The Gospels
Ten Commandments

Christian theology
Fall of Man · Grace
Salvation · Justification
Christian worship
Mortal Sin

Christian Church
Roman Catholicism
The Pope
Eastern Orthodoxy
Protestantism Christian erudition
Christian denominations
Christian movements
Christian ecumenism
Christian scholastica
Christian discourses

Important Figures
Apostle Paul
Augustine · Aquinas
Wycliffe · Luther
Calvin · Trammell
· Carver


Although, everyone loves to laugh at how much of a puss Satan is for getting his arse kicked out of heaven by God, he has inspired the genre of music known as Death Metal or Black Metal. He's also affiliated with the rap industry and making deals with Jay Z and Beyonce with exposure of the aluminary and demon Sasha Fierce. Satan Himself is a virtuoso of the electric guitar: a 1978 article in Guitarist magazine described his style as "faster than the speed of light and decidedly bad-asssss." Among the Heavy Metal personalities that claim to have business relations with Satan are bands too nasty to mention. If you aren't faint-hearted,Cradle Of Filth would be a candy-floss-sweet example.

However, in a statement issued as a response to Christian groups, Satan remarked that "Many of these so-called 'Satanists' would not realize if they found themselves in Hell." This has been amusing him since the early to mid 20th century, when he invented record companies. Satan is mentioned in a large number of songs, such as "Sympathy For The Devil" by the Rolling Stones, "Lucifer Sam" by Pink Floyd, "Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen, and if you play "Walk This Way" by Aerosmith backwards while they're singing "walk this way" it really sounds like they're saying "hail satan" (seriously dude, i tried it).




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Democrats Satanists? Noooo!
Main article: Satanism


Why people like him?


  1. Santaists Think it's funny because people think God created love.
  2. Atheists Think someone made a story up once, so that proves there is no God.
  3. Luciferians Think it's funny that the Atheists are doing their job for them.
  4. Agnostics Think it's funny, cause it might be true but it isn't although in reverse.
  5. Christians Don't think it's funny, because they don't think.

Other benefits for Satans followers include Free Heating, being allowed to torture people and all you can eat BBQ meat for the rest of Eternity.

See also

Oh come one, this is just unrealistic. Do you really think that buff-Satan would be hanging out with all those bears or mickey mouses or whatever they are? And what's with the snake?
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