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Weird 1982 advert

An ad endorsing President Reagan's 1984 re-election

Weird 1982 advert2

Scene from a typical condom commercial of the early 1980s.

The 1980s[1] was a mostly-shitty decade that paled in comparison to the glorious 1990s. It began on January 1, 1980 and ended on December 31, 1989 (duh). They are generally considered to have begun when Mr. T pitied Chuck Norris at the exact moment he gave a Roundhouse kick in the chest. Contrary to popular belief, the 80s extended far into the 1990s—as late as 1995 in some places, though this trend was mostly in rural areas that spent the 80s in the 1970s.

Culturally, the 80s was characterized by long curly hair, aviator glasses, The Smiths, the assassination of American president JR and his replacement Ronald Reagan, the abortion pill's release in France,[2] the Cabbage Patch Kids teaching children about the joys of illegal drugs, the fall of the Berlin Wall, the Hanson brothers' birth, the tragic death of disco, punk, kite-sized lapels, whatever was left of the free love movement,[3] video games, drugs, lasers, crappy TV shows, music videos, drugs, the Cold War, the Bush dynasty, the Goth subculture,[4] and drugs. All these things were not change, but rather, annoying human tendencies dressed in new spiffy Battlestar Galactica underoos.

Some historians claim the 80s were created by the U.S. government in order to stop Burt Reynolds' second attempt to take over the world. By 1979, Reynolds' cybernetic body was entirely powered by a form of fusion and it was hoped that the introduction of Jesus Jones might cause Burt to disintegrate.


edit Identity

For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia think they have an article about 1980s.

According to 20th Century History For Dummies, the 80s were more depressing than the Great Depression, although still more interesting than WWII and Korean War combined. Even Ethan Woodward's parents killed themselves, though the matter was hushed up and made to look like a freak tractor accident. Never before had people been so scared silly of nuclear war, suicidally nihilistic from the utter crapfest from previous decades, brain-dead from video entertainment, and pissed off beyond reason with stupid politicians.

At least 900 billion humans and aliens died because of the 80s, making it the most murderous decade in the history of living things, costing Adolf Hitler his title as "Most murderous thing ever". Predictably, you were too busy drinking and partying to do anything about it. Don't give me that "I'm sorry" shit, you are GUILTY! Unfortunately, thanks to bad planning opponents of the 80s had no real voice, as well as the fact people were too busy throwing parties and killing themselves to listen. Though their movement gained Internet traction in the 1990s (best decade ever), it was clearly too late. How pathetic.

The wearing of leather jackets became popular in many circles during the 80s, leading to the deaths of thousands to millions of bovines dependign on who you asked. The corporations said only about 1,500 died wheras PETA and Chick-Fil-A said that abaout 15,000,000 died. In response to this problem, the Bovine Liberation Front was created and made the propaganda movie Bovine Standoff in Washington, a movie about the fictional revol-MOO-tion of 1986. In 1999m polls reported this was the worst movie of the century and the producers needed to shot, they all died by 2001.

edit Crack

On the other hand, there was crack.





And lesbians were founded in the eighties.

edit Popular culture

edit Music


edit Movies


edit The Great Nickel Riots of 1981


edit The Rise Of Hair Products



edit The End Of The 80s




edit See also

edit References

  1. Also known as MulletMania.
  2. Saving the world from millions of French people, which caused pro-lifers to have mixed feelings.
  3. At least, so we pretended.
  4. Appropriately born from the dead corpse of punk.

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