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Thread: Survivor 10/6 Recap - How Do I Snuff Thee? Let Me Count the Ways...

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    What do you DO all day? totoro's Avatar
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    Survivor 10/6: How Do I Snuff Thee? Let Me Count the Ways...

    Previously on Survivor: Nakum continued on it's winning streak, constructed a questionable shelter with their new tarp and forced Yaxha to make a human sacrifice out of Brianna. Oh yeah, and Gary Hogeboom is NOT a former NFL quarterback. No sirree bob. He's just a landscaper.

    In the Jungle, the Mighty Jungle...
    At the Nakum camp, the tribe is suffering through yet another brutally hot day in the jungle. Even the primates are in survival mode, draping themselves languidly in the tree branches. Cindy the Meteorologist Zookeeper says the temperatures have climbed from 104 to 114 degrees... and that it's now officially unbearable. (Ha ha.... get it? Un-BEAR-able? hee. Zoo humor.) Margaret admits that they are all tired and weak from lack of nourishment and the debilitating heat. To make matters worse, the mosquitos have begun to swarm and are making tasty snacks out of the tribe. For all you sadists out there, there is nice montage of Nakum flesh, riddled and reddened with bites and swelling. Judd complains about the swarms of blood suckers while a bug of Mothra proportions hovers over his shoulder. Brandon says the jungle conditions really wear a person down; his method of coping is to lay around... and do nothing. (The very crime he was charging Blake with last episode.) He admits it is a bit pathetic, but since the they are still on top of the game, no harm no foul. His mind boggles at how Yaxha must be handling these hardships, given that they have not won any luxuries.

    Up to Snuff (noun) : "of sufficient quality; meeting an applicable standard "
    So how is Yaxha doing? Pretty darn good, thankyouverymuch. Rafe and Gary have devised a new method of catching minnows, where they submerge a large clay pot with corn meal inside into shallow water. Swarms of minnows go after the corn bait, and each time the pot is snatched out of the water, a couple of minnows are caught. There is a convivial mood around the dock where all of Yaxha is gathered, ostensibly waiting for the minnow kebobs to come off the fire. Suddenly, they spy a monstrous crocodile in the lake, as it surfaces and snaps at a fish who never had an ice cube's chance in hell in that battle. Suddenly Jamie realizes that the swim he indulged in last week was not so wise. Later, as he is sitting with his feet in shallow water, he nearly shrieks when a wee fish takes a nibble on his toe. Message received: Jamie's officially ascared of the water now.

    Snuff (verb) "to inhale through the nose noisily and forcibly; also : to sniff or smell inquiringly"
    It's time for the luxury competition, which is not going to be so much of competition this week... just a bunch of free luxuries. Jeff will pose a "Who is" question, and everyone will write down a name of a fellow tribemate in response. They are not allowed to answer any question with their own name. This is how it plays out:

    Which tribe member is most in need of some nourishment?
    Jamie gets a majority vote from Yaxha, and Nakum unanimously votes for Danni. Jamie and Danni are called forward, where they each receive a shiny green apple to savor. There are oohs and ahhs from the peanut gallery, and at this point, everyone seems to sit up a little straighter.

    Who on your tribe is the smelliest?
    Yaxha divides their votes between Gary and Jamie, with Gary narrowly getting the majority. Nakum overwhelming says Bobby Jon is funky. Somehow, this doesn't surprise me. As a reward, Bobby Jon and Gary get a shower on the spot, with five gallons of fresh water and soap. Bobby Jon is encouraged to lather up real well, and you can almost taste the envy. Finished with their ablutions, Bobby Jon and Gary return to their seats (alas, still wearing their dirty old clothes) and get sniffed appreciately by their tribe mates.

    Which man and which woman deserve a picnic atop an ancient Mayan ruin, returning to camp later this afternoon?
    Yaxha elects Gary and Amy, while Nakum nominate Margaret and Judd. The usually hard-bitten Amy looks near tears at the thought of food, but can't shake her inherent skepticism. As they near the covered picnic basket, she wonders if there is a snake in it. Jeff protests that he wouldn't do that, and whips off the covering to reveal fried chicken, potato salad, jumbo chocolate chip cookies and iced tea. At this point Margaret actually bursts into tears. Jeff sends them off immediately, and warns thems that they can eat all they want, but must leave any leftovers behind.

    Who has the most tribe pride?
    Brian edges out Stephenie on the Yaxha tribe. Nakum throws Cindy four votes. (Must be due to her mind-meld with their camp mascots, the howler monkeys.) Their reward for being the most tribe-proud? They get to stay on their tribe. D'oh! Jamie, Rafe, Lydia and Steph must surrender their Yaxha buffs and join Nakum. Since Nakum has one extra member, one of the original five will get to stay, while the other four make the switch to Yaxha. To decide who stays and who goes, they blindly draw buffs. Brooke gets to stay with Nakum and Bobby Jon, Blake and Brandon will join the Yaxha tribe. Gary and Amy, and Margaret and Judd will return to their respective camps later to quite a surprise.

    You're Getting Your First Look at the New Yaxha...and the New Nakum
    Yaxha: Brian, Gary, Amy, Danni, Bobby Jon, Blake and Brandon
    Nakum: Cindy, Margaret, Judd, Brooke, Jamie, Rafe, Steph and Lydia
    Jeff sends them off to their camps to get to know each other better.

    Wish In One Hand, Lie In the Other, See Which One Slaps You in the Face First
    Atop a massive Mayan ruin, the picnickers toast each other with iced tea and marvel over the view. Gary guesses they can see at least 30 miles out from up there. In between great gobbling bites, they make small talk of the "where are ya from, whattya do" variety, seemingly started by Margaret. She goes through the list: so you're a cop, you're a doorman, I'm nurse, you're... an ex-football player? Gary claims he is a landscaper, and says that he'd heard Danni said he was a pro player. Ha ha, he says, he wishes he was, goldarnit, but nope. Amy seems to be giving Gary the benefit of the doubt, but privately says if she finds out he's actually a retired multi-millionaire, she'll freaking kill him. Unfortunately for Gary, her job requires her to carry the very equipment that could make that a possiblity. There is a brief mention of feeling guilty about eating so well while their tribemates suffer, but it causes hardly a hiccup in the gorge-fest.

    What Would Emily Post Do?
    Doing his best Miss Manners impersonation, Brian leads his new tribe mates to camp. "Here's the flag, there's our fire, here's where the crocodiles play, this is where we do the number two, and over there is the wine cellar. Oh, yes, and this is where we keep the fruit... FRUIT?!" Everyone celebrates when they see the basket of fresh fruit that has been left for them near the fire. Danni probably feels like a chump for only winning that apple earlier! They commence to eating bananas and riping the hide off of pineapples with their teeth, while Brian tiptoes around the new Yaxha's. He piles on the praise, saying they will rule the jungle with this most excellent tribe, and points out that he has yet to feel tired, unlike the rest of his former tribemates. Bobby Jon, in a classic do-as-I-say-not-as-I-do moment, warns Brian not to overdo himself. (Oh shut up, you Neanderthal gas bag.) Brian nods like a good little sycophant, while inwardly groaning at his obvious demotion in the pecking order of Yaxha.

    Gary Hogeboom: "I'm a Landscaper."
    When Amy and Gary return to camp and see what has happened, Amy lets off a stream of blue language that would make the boys back at the station proud. Gary is cordial and social, but Amy offers everyone a brief handshake with a dead look on her face and and doesn't stick around to chat. The small talk commences without her, and Gary instigates another round of "whattya do for living", possibly to head off being blindsided by Danni. When it is his turn, he claims membership in the Local Landscapers Union #304, while Danni looks on disbelievingly. One of the Nakum boys says to Gary that he's "not a football player??" Gary says he heard about that and asks Danni who she thought he was. She thought he played for Central Michigan (Huh? Is that an NFL team? *runs off to check ESPN.com*) and he says oh no, he went Central Michigan but he didn't play for them. Gary doth protest too much, and his body language isn't helping. Danni clearly doesn't believe him, and I'm just praying for her to start throwing out stats to prove him wrong. Alas, she bites her tongue, and ensures that we will have at least one more episode of Survivor ahead of us where this will be a focal point. In a sudden and foreboding moment, thunder and lightening strike and the rain begins to come down on the Yaxha camp. In a private moment, Gary says he'll deny being Gary Hogeboom to the end. It's his ace in the hole. Or his Achilles in the heel. That remains to be seen.

    Back Door Door Man
    Rewind a few minutes in time so we can see Margaret and Judd returning to the Nakum camp, and mistakenly thinking they have a few visitors. They are told what happened while they were having their KFC moment and they express disbelief, then acceptance. Margaret engages in conversation while Brooke sits nearby, silent. Same old story, different day. Jamie and Judd, having sniffed each others butts thoroughly, decide that they're cool and offer to get each others backs (I think that's dog-speak for Let's Have An Alliance, Dude). Male chauvinist pigs unite! Nakum-time catches up to Yaxha-time, and rain begins to fall down on their camp as well. Remember the 'shelter' that the boys built last week? Bobby Jon, Blake and Brandon never got to use their grand masterpiece in the rain, but now the new Nakum tribes gathers under it for shelter. And guess what? It's got a few good leaks. You know Margaret wants to say "I told you so!", but the B-Boys wouldn't be able to hear her all the way at the other camp.

    Big Fish in a Little Pond
    Reeling from the tribe switcheroo, Margaret is scrambling to assess the current situation. She knows that although there are equal numbers of Yaxha and Nakum people on her tribe, one tribal council will shift the power to one side, and she's not sure which side that will be. In other words, she's nervous about Judd. She talks with him and confesses her alarm when they arrived back at camp and saw the new tribe, and he says his initial reaction was all "whatevah." Judd admits to a confessional camera that he is actually relieved by the switch, because having Bobby Jon, Blake, Brandon and him on one team was a kind of "male-tosterone thing" and now he feels like King Kong around camp. And then he beats on his chest to illustrate. No, seriously.

    Three Little Monkeys Sitting In a Tree
    Steph and Jamie find a high spot to perch upon; the better to keep an eye on the tribe while they strategize. (I guess this means Jamie has ditched his anti-Stephenie campaign under the new circumstances.) Steph points out "that law girl" Brooke, and Jamie says "yeah she's cool and all", but she needs to leave. (Translation: I'd hit that, but I'd rather win a million dollars first.) Even though Lydia is a weak player in their estimation, they realize that booting her now would upset the balance in the other group's favor. They need to eliminate some of them before they can afford to ditch Lydia and her voting power. Jamie mentions that Judd has offered an alliance of sorts, and on cue, King Kong himself climbs up to join them. Without any hesitation, he agrees that Brooke should go next, and seems to have no loyalty for his original tribemates, saying that he's already more "persable" with Steph and Jamie than he ever was with any of them. Somebody give that boy his 3 points for using such big words tonight! Margaret throws glances up at the threesome and twitches nervously. Judd privately says he feels good where he's sitting right now (with Steph and Jamie up in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G) and that he has no problems backstabbing his former tribe, because he didn't feel the love there. No love, baby. He also says they can just get out of his jungle. Get out of his jungle! Why does he repeat everything twice?

    Pain Is For Girlie-Men
    In the Yaxha camp, Amy trots out her remedial math skills, carries the one, and comes up with "4 of them + 3 of us = they are going to decimate us." She senses she is at risk of being the first to go, and works hard at not revealing the severity of her sprained ankle to anyone. Well, except for Hogeboom. She unwraps it and shows him the swelling, which is considerable. But she manages to walk without a noticable limp and no expression of discomfort. She's like the Terminator! The B-Boys have also done the math and realize they are in a good position. They decide eliminations should go in this order: first Amy, then Brian and then Gary. They've got no love for Brian, their charming host.

    Row, Throw, D'oh!
    The tribes join the Probster for the Immunity Challenge. The rules of engagement are: each tribe must row its boat across the lake, and untie three bags hanging from buoys along the way that are filled with Mayan war clubs (that look very similar to a Mason-Pearson hair brush. What? Am I the only one who knows of the miracle of the boar bristle?) When they've retrieved all three bags, they must return to shore and race to where the crucial action takes place. Each tribe has three tiles that they must break with their clubs; at distances of 30, 40 and 50 feet away. No player can break more than one tile, and they can tag out at any time if they are not having any luck. Nakum has one extra member and chooses to sit out Lydia. The first tribe to break all three tiles first wins immunity. And now that Stephenie is teamed up with some of Nakum's strongest competitors, she'll finally get to see that immunity idol up close!

    They race to the boats and both tribes paddle strongly. They are neck and neck until they near the second bags, when their boats collide. Naughty Nakum manages to push Yaxha off course, thereby gaining a strong lead. They have their second bag and are off to the third before Yaxha can even get back in position. Nakum grabs the third bag and heads back to shore. Yahxa gets their last bag and are halfway back to shore when Nakum hits land. Steph throws first for Nakum, and breaks the closest tile after a few tries. Brian throws first for Yaxha, but I'm thinking he's gonna need Wormser from Revenge of the Nerds to redesign his Mayan War Clubs before he has any success. Judd goes up for Nakum, and is trying for the farthest tile. Like King Kong would, dontchaknow. Brian switches out with Danni, who breaks the closest tiles after a few attempts. Blake goes in for Yaxha next. Judd isn't having much luck, but he is (manfully) ignoring (girlie) requests for him to tag out and let someone else (wimpier than he) have a shot (at the glory that is rightfully his.) Blake breaks the middle tile, and then finally Judd breaks a tile - but it's the middle one. Not as macho as he'd hoped, but still kinda macho. Brandon and Jamie go in to race to the end. Ultimately, Brandon gets the first break and wins immunity for Yaxha. And from the clear blue sky, a neon arrow descends and hovers over Stephenie, flashing, LOSER-LOSER-LOSER.

    Snuff (transitive verb) "to make extinct; put an end to"
    It's Day 11, and at the Nakum camp, there is moaning over the inevitable torch-snuffing that must be done. The battle for Judd's loyalty begins in earnest. The Yaxha girls decide to stick together and vote for Lydia. Margaret corners Judd and tries to make him realize he is safer in the long run by keeping his loyalty with them, since they hold majority as long as they can stay together. She seems to actually get through his thick skull after a concentrated effort, but it might have been that meddling howler monkey perched on a branch above that threw Judd off his game. Rafe and Lydia sit together and talk strategy, while Rafe applies some type of wet-leaf concoction onto her shoulders. Is this tribal council war paint or some wilderness guide mosquito relief? Rafe tells Lydia that Judd will be the deciding vote and it seems he is in their corner for the time being. Steph and Judd sit several feet apart from each other on a stone step and talk out of the corners of their mouths. Steph tries to get him to confirm how he will vote. He looks at Steph (don't look at her idiot! You're blowing your cover!) and says, "we're sticking with what we said yesterday, right?" A non-answer if I ever saw one. Brooke senses her name being whispered, and joins Steph and Judd on the step, while Steph tries to act like nothing is happening, and says loudly how freaking hot it is. Brooke says she's tired of sitting under the shelter and needs some variety. These people are not very cool under pressure. Judd admits to the camera that he doesn't know who is going to vote for.

    Snuff (Noun) : "Obsolete"
    The sun goes down, and Tribal Council begins. Jeff shoots the breeze with Nakum for a while. He points out that Stephenie seems to be preternaturally unlucky, and wonders if she herself is bad luck. Steph says she's hopes that's not the case, because that would suck, but for some reason she always ends up "on the short side of the stick."

    Next, Jeff prompts Margaret to talk about the new dynamics of the tribe, and she jumps on the chance to point out how Judd seems to have buddied up with Jamie and Steph awfully quick. Judd insists he has nothing to hide, he was just indulging in a little "what's up, I'm Judd, howya doing?"

    Lydia is asked if she feels secure or vulernable in this new tribe arrangement. She states that they don't know her strength yet, and she just has to have faith that they will grow to know her and what a hard worker she is. She emphatically doesn't want to go home yet.

    Brooke feels like brute stength is what makes you safe at this point in the game, and feels that as a woman, she is more at risk.

    Judd is asked if his profession, which involves meeting tons of different people every day, helps him make character assessments accurately. He says he feels like he is good at sensing whether or not he is truely clicking with someone.

    Voting begins, and we see Brooke and Margaret vote for Lydia, Rafe vote for Brooke. All insist that the vote is pure strategy and nothing personal. Jeff tallies the votes and it's Brooke's torch that gets snuffed tonight. Jeff's final thought for Nakum: "Tribal lines and personal loyalties are going to shift throughout this game. Just remember, every time you shift, you make it harder to trust."

    Next week, Judd takes the heat for turning against Brooke, Brian doesn't want to thank Jesus for his corn mash, and Lydia acts like a drag queen.

    Did you miss me while I was away skiing with Sven and Jorg? email me at totoro@fansofrealitytv.com
    I'll do graffiti if you sing to me in French

  2. #2
    runs with scissors waywyrd's Avatar
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    Jul 2003
    South Carolina
    That was great, totoro!
    It was me. I let the dogs out.

  3. #3
    Too cold to run away! Burntcrow's Avatar
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    Jul 2003
    Quote Originally Posted by totoro


    Excellent recap Totoro!

  4. #4
    FORT god cable101's Avatar
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    Jun 2003
    The center of the universe
    Quote Originally Posted by totoro
    Brian doesn't want to thank Jesus for his corn mash,
    Actually, it seemed to me like Brian was complaining about somebody refusing to join in the prayers. Here's exactly what he said:
    I'm not a religious person, but, you know what? It'd be stupid to say, 'You know what, thanks, but I don't want to thanks Jesus for this meal, thanks.'"

    Excellent recap!

  5. #5
    Cynical Optimist ThehappyCynic's Avatar
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    Jul 2005
    Great recap, as always.

  6. #6
    Premium Member dagwood's Avatar
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    Feb 2003
    salt lake city ut
    Quote Originally Posted by totoro
    It was clear as day, wasn't it?

  7. #7
    From the corner of my eye Jewelsy's Avatar
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    Jan 2003
    in the middle of the Monsoons
    Excellent job, Tots.

  8. #8
    FORT Fogey
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    Jun 2005
    Totoro, excellent recap!

  9. #9
    Leo is offline
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    Jan 2003
    Terrific recap.

  10. #10
    JESSICA: #1 AntmSTarTa's Avatar
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    Dec 2004
    New York, USA
    Awesome recap, Totoro! I love it!

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