From Dusk Til Dawn Script - Dialogue Transcript

Voila! Finally, the From Dusk Til Dawn script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the Robert Rodriguez movie with George Clooney and Quentin Tarantino.  This script is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of From Dusk Til Dawn. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. You won't hurt my feelings. Honest.


From Dusk Til Dawn Script





Suspects described as white males,

approximately 25 to 30.



Suspect number one

about five-eleven, medium build,

brown hair, brown, dark pants.



Suspect number two,

about six-one, medium build...



brown hair, round glasses,

dark clothes.



Be advised suspects are armed and should

be considered extremely dangerous.

Use caution apprehending them.



- Hey, Earl.

- Yes, sir.



- What do you know?

- Well...



it's a hot goddamned day.



I haven't felt it a bit.



I've been inside with the

air-conditioner blastin' all day long.



- Oh, is that right?

- That's right.



Didn't you break for lunch or nothin'?



I'm by myself today.

I ate my lunch out of the microwave.



Jesus H. Christ, Pete.



When are you gonna learn that microwave

food will kill you faster than a bullet?



I mean, them damn burritos ain't good

for nothin' but a hippie...



when he's high on weed.



Pull me out a bottle of that Jack,

will you?






I think I'm gonna get tanked tonight.



What's the matter?



Ohh, hell.



Been one long goddam hot,

miserable, shit-ass fuckin' day...



every inch of the way.



First off, Nadine over

at the Blue Chip got sort of sick...



since she got that goddam Mongoloid boy

of hers workin' the grill.



I mean, that fuckin' idiot doesn't know

rat shit from Rice Krispies.



I eat breakfast about  :  

and I'm pukin' up pigs in a blanket...



like a sick fuckin' dog by   :  .



Isn't there a law or somethin' against

retards servin' food to the public?



Well, if there ain't, there ought to be.



I mean, who in the hell knows

what's goin' on in the mind

of a goddamned Mongoloid?



Nadine should've hit that boy in

the head and sold the fuckin' milk.



You could sue the shit

out of her, you know that?



That kid belongs under a circus tent,

not flippin' burgers.



- You could own that fuckin' place.

- Oh, shit, Pete.



What would I do with that grease pit?



Besides, Nadine's got a cross to bear.



I mean, taking care

of that potato head.



I guess you heard about that shit

up in Abilene. Bank robbery?



It's all that's been on the box all day.



They killed some people, didn't they?



Yeah. Killed four Rangers...



three cops...



one civilian.



Took a lady bank teller

hostage with them.



Supposed to be headed for the border,

which'd bring 'em right my way.



Get my hands on them crazy, sick

fuckin' bastards, it's payback time.



I mean--



Well, we'll get 'em.



- We'll get 'em.

- Well, I don't doubt it.






I gotta drain my lizard.



Mind if I use your commode?



- Knock yourself out.

- Thank you.



You're welcome.



Do you think I'm fuckin' playing

with you, asshole?



Do you want this little girl to die,

or that little girl or yourself?



Or your bosom buddy with the badge?

Now, I don't want to do it...



but I will turn this place into

the fucking Wild Bunch if I think

that you are fucking with me.



- What do you want from me?

I did what you said.

- You let him use the bathroom.



- No store does that.

- He comes in here every day,

and we bullshit.



He's used my toilet a thousand times.

If I told him "no," he'd know something

was up.



All right. I want him out of here,

in his car and down the road...



or you can change the name of this place

to "Benny's World of Blood."



Were you giving that pig signals?



Are you kiddin'?

I didn't do anything!



- He says you were scratching.

- I wasn't scratchin'!



- Are you calling him a liar?

- I'm not callin' him a liar, okay?



I'm simply sayin' if I was scratchin',

I don't remember scratchin'.

And if I did scratch...



it's not because

I was signalling the cop,

it's 'cause I'm fuckin' scared shitless!



Wait a minute.

The guy's in the bathroom.

Why don't I just go back there...



- shoot him in the back of the head,

and we can get the hell out of here?

- Don't do that!



Look, you asked me to act natural,

and I acted natural.



In fact, under the circumstances,

I think I oughta get a fuckin'

Academy Award for how natural I acted.



You asked me to get rid of him.

I'm doin' my best!



Well, your best better get

a hell of a lot fucking better,



or you are gonna feel

a hell of a lot fucking worse.



Everybody be cool.

You be cool.



Yep. Be back at it tomorrow.



Tonight I'm gonna sit in front of that

box and get higher than a Georgia pine.



- How much you want

for that hooch, Pete?

- Oh,  .  .



Jesus Christ. You buckin'

for early retirement?



Shit, yeah.



Hey! Hey! What the fuck is that about?



- He signalled the Ranger.

- I didn't! Ya gotta believe me!



- I didn't!

- When they were talkin',

he mouthed the words, "Help us."



- You fuckin' liar! I didn't say shit!

- Why don't you shut the hell up?



Hey! Will you stop it! What the fuck

is your problem, goddam it?



Seth, he did it!



You were by the beer cooler

with your back turned.



I was by the magazines.

I could see his face!



And I saw him mouth the words,

"Help us."



Start the car.



- You believe me, don't you?

- Yes. Shut up.



And start the car, all right?

You start the car.



- You believe me, don't you?

- Start the car. You know that?



Shut the fuck up and start the car.



- Wait, wait.

- I believe you. Start the car!



You-You're not just sayin' that?

You do believe me?



- I believe you! Let's go!

- That means you believe me.



- Yes, I believe you!

- You should, 'cause I'm right.



- Oh, shit!

- Ohh!



- Richie?

- Yeah?



You okay?



He shot me in the fuckin' hand!



- Like I told you, he said, "Help us."

- I never said "help us"!



Well, that doesn't matter now,

'cause you got about

two fuckin' seconds to live!



- Richie?

- Yeah?



When I count to three, you shoot

the bottles out from behind him.



Oh, yeah!



- One.

- Fuck!









What did I tell you?

What did I say to you?



- I said, "Buy the road map and leave."

- What the fuck am I supposed

to do, Seth?



- He recognized us.

- He didn't recognize shit.



Seth, I'm telling you,

the way he looked at us--



you, especially-- I knew he knew.



Low profile. Do you understand

the meaning of the words "low profile"?



"Hey, Richie, how's your hand?" "lt

hurts like a fuckin' son of a bitch!



- Let me tell you

what "low profile" is not.

- Thanks for askin'!"



It is not taking girls hostage.



It is not shooting police.

It is not setting fire to a building.



Bitch, bitch, bitch.



Hot air hangs like a dead man



From a white oak tree



There's people sittin' on porches



Thinkin' how things used to be



Dark night



It's a dark night



Dark night



It's a dark night



My wife left home about a week ago



She stole the kids

and she took all my dough



- Move it!

- Goddam you. Goddam you.



- What the hell do you want?

- What do you think I want,

you mean old bastard?



I want a fuckin' room.



Okay. All right.



She peed on the carpet

She shot my horse



And now things are goin'

from better to bad to worse



Do they have cable?






- Do they have the X-rated channel?

- No.



- Do they have a water bed?

- Nope.



- What do they got?

- They have four walls and a roof...



and that's all we need.



All right, pop the trunk.

Let's do this fast.



- Oh.

- Don't say a word.



You, plant yourself in that seat.



- What are you gonna do with me?

- I said "plant yourself."



Plants don't talk.

Now, you wanna get on my good side...



you sit still

and you don't make a peep.



- All right, how does this feel?

- How do you think?



It hurts like a son of a bitch.



All right. it's wrapped too tight.

Nice and easy now.



- Okay.

- All right. Okay, I'm gonna

go get the money.



It's  :  . What time does it get dark

around here?



- About  :  .

- Good. I'm going to the border,

check things out.



I'm gonna call Carlos, try and arrange

some sort of a rendezvous.



- I don't know what yet.

- Could you see if he could arrange

a better deal than   %?



It's their standard deal.

They're not gonna change that for us.



Did you even try

to negotiate with them?



Richie, these guys are not spic

firecracker salesmen from Tijuana.



They don't even know the meaning

of the word "barter."



You wanna stay in El Rey,

you give them   % of your loot.



It's scripture.

So it is written, so shall it be done.



- Look--

- Yeah, I know, listen. Hey, you want

sanctuary, you gotta pay the price.



The price is   %.



- All I'm sayin', man--

- This conversation's over.






We need to have a talk.

What's your name?



- Gloria.

- Hello, Gloria. I'm Seth.

That's my brother, Richie.



Let's cut to the chase.

I'm gonna ask you one question...



and all I want is a yes or no answer.



Do you wanna live through this?



- Yes.

- Good. Rule number one: no noise.



No questions. If you make a noise...



Mr .   makes a noise.



If you ask a question,

Mr .   answers it.



Now, are you absolutely, positively

clear about rule number one?



- Yes.

- Rule number two.



You do what we say when we say it.

If you don't, see rule number one.



Rule number three: Don't you ever try

and fucking run on us...



'cause I got six little friends...



and they can all run faster

than you can.



Open your eyes.



Gloria, you hang in there,

you follow the rules...



and you don't fuck with us,

and you'll get out of this alive.



I give you my word. Okay?



I'll be back in a minute.



You wanna come over on the bed

and watch TV with me?



- Hail!

- Come on.



Have a seat.



Come on.



Take off your shoes.



Foolish heart



- Foolish heart

- You made me weep



We got about two more hours...



till we get in to El Paso...



which is right next to the border.



- Then we'll stop at a motel.

- Stop?



- We're not actually gonna stop

at a motel, are we?

- Yeah, what for?



We have a motorhome. We don't wanna

stay in those roach haven motels, do we?



- We're self-contained.

- Okay, okay.



Maybe I was a little overzealous.

But give me a break. I just bought it.



How come you wanna stop anyways, Dad?



- I'm exhausted.

- Exhausted? Just lie in the back, Dad.



- I can drive us into Mexico.

- I just bet you would.



Don't even think about it.

Besides, l-l wanna have...



just one night's sleep

in an honest to goodness bed.



The beds in the home are okay, but...



they're not like a real bed.



Excuse me.

I have to use the restroom.



Oh! Guess what. When I called

the machine to check the messages, um...



one of them was from Bethel Baptist.



And Mr Franklin said that...



he wouldn't permanently replace you

until we came back.



- And he said that--

- That's very nice of Ted.



But I'll call him tomorrow

and tell him not to bother waiting.



Daddy, I didn't wanna talk

about this in front of Scott...



because he gets upset,

but I just wanna know.



Don't you believe in God any more?



Not enough to be a pastor.



Look, I know this is hard on you kids.



After Jenny's death, this is probably

the last thing you need, but...



my congregation needs

spiritual leadership.



Well, my faith is gone.



To answer your question, yes,

I do believe in Jesus.



Yes, I do believe in God.



But do I love Them? No.



Well, it's just that all our lives

you've been a pastor.



And then one day, you're just gonna

wake up and say, "Fuck Him"?



I didn't say, "Fuck Him."



Every person who chooses...



the service of God

as his life's work...



has something in common.



I don't care if you're

a preacher, a priest...



a nun, a rabbi or a Buddhist monk.



Many, many times during your life,

you'll look at your reflection...



in the mirror and ask yourself...



"Am I a fool?"



I'm not going through a lapse.



What I've experienced is closer

to awakening.






What do you think Mom would say?



Mama's got nothing to say.

She's dead.



This bloody crime spree started

just a week ago today.



The oldest of the two brothers,

Seth Gecko...



was serving time in Rollings, Kansas

State Penitentiary...



for his part in the      Scott City

bank robbery...



in which two law enforcement officers

lost their lives.



It was while at the court house

that this man, his younger brother...



Richard Gecko, a known armed robber

and sex offender...



pulled off a daring daylight escape...



resulting in the death of four

Wichita law enforcement officers...



and this woman,

Heidi Vogel, sixth grade teacher,

who was run over by the Geckos...



during a high-speed pursuit

through downtown Wichita.



And earlier today, during a daylight

liquor store robbery in Big Springs...



the Gecko brothers killed

another Texas Ranger, Earl McGraw...



and liquor store clerk, Pete Bottoms.



That changes the death toll to   :



five Texas Rangers, eight

police officers, three civilians...



and one hostage: bank teller

and mother of four, Gloria Hill.



For the time being, we're very confident

that we'll apprehend...



these fugitives

within the next    hours.



The bureau, local law enforcement

and the Texas Rangers have all joined...



in forming a dragnet

to snare Seth and Richard Gecko.



ls it safe to assume that because

of the death count involved...



and the loss of life

of law enforcement officers...



that the bureau, the Rangers

and the police force...



are taking this manhunt personally?



I would say that's

a very safe assumption.



Shit, I was really worried.

Where the fuck you been, man?



- Sightseeing.

- What'd you see?



- The cops.

- Did you see the border?



Yes, I saw the border.

What'd the TV say?



They're gonna apprehend us

in about    hours.



I gotta figure out a way to get us

across this goddam border.



The longer we stay here, our lives

ain't worth shit. Here you go.



We gotta get our asses

into Mexico tonight.



Then Carlos is gonna meet us there

at the rendezvous tomorrow morning.



Well, now, he and his boys--

both of them-- all of them--



are gonna escort us

into El Rey, and--



- Where's the woman?

- What?



What do you mean, what? The woman--

th-the host-- the fucking hostage.



Richard, where is she?



- She's in there.

- What the fuck is she doing in there?



Now, Seth, wait a minute. Seth.



Richard, what's wrong with you?



Before you flip out, okay,

let me just explain what happened.



Yeah, ex-explain to me.



I need an explanation.

What is the matter with you?



There's nothing wrong with me, brother.

That woman tried to escape, and I did

what I had to do.



No, that woman wouldn't have said shit

if she had a mouth full of it.



- Wrong, wrong, wrong.

- Yeah.



- After you left, she became

a completely different person.

- Yeah.



ls it me? My fault?



- it's not your fault.

- ls this my fault?



- No, it's her fault.

It's not your fault.

- ls this my fault?



Do you think that this is what I am?



- I don't--

- This is not me.

I am a professional fucking thief.



I don't kill people that I don't have

to, and I don't fucking rape women.



What you are doing--

What you are fucking doing--



What you are doing is not how it's done.

Do you understand that?



Do you? Just say fucking "yes."



Say, "Yes, Seth, I understand."



- Yes, Seth, I understand.

- Say, "Yes, Seth,

I fucking understand."



I understand, Seth.

I fucking understand.



We'll get to Mexico,

and it's gonna be sweet rosemary...



and     proof liquor...



and rice and beans,

and none of this shit's gonna matter.



I can't believe he's stopping here.

This place is totally cruddy.



Dad, why are we stoppin' here?



There's nothing wrong with this place.



It's a flophouse.



It's not a flophouse.



It's basic and simple.



That doesn't make it a flophouse.



All right. Well, if it doesn't have

a pool, then we're going someplace else.



It has a bed.



That's all I care about.



Well, other places have beds too...



and they also have a gym, tennis--



Jeez, what is this guy's problem?



No idea.



Creepy guy.



- What?

- Yes, I'm your neighbour

from, uh, room   ...



and I hate to disturb you,

but I'd like to ask a favour.



I hope none of this is disturbing you.



Hi. Uh, I'm from room    and, uh...



me and my lady friend need some ice,

and we don't seem to have an ice bucket.



If it's not too much trouble,

could I possibly borrow yours?



I'll bring it right back.



- Sure.

- Thank you.



What is this?



It's called a punch.



Lose the guitar.



- What's your name?

- Jacob.



Jacob, get up, get on the bed.

If you make a wrong move,

I will shoot you in the face.



Open your mouth. Wide.



Let's go. Let's move the Jap

over here too. Let's go.



So what's the story with you two?

You a couple of fags?



- This is my son.

- How does that happen?



- You don't look Japanese.

- Neither does he. He looks Chinese.



Oh, ooh, well,

excuse me all to hell.



- What's this about? Money?

- it's about money, all right,

but not yours.



My brother and l, we're in a little

hot water. Now, I need your assistance.



- Stop!

- Wh-What's, um, goin' on?



We're havin' a bikini contest,

and you just won.



It's okay, honey.

Everything's gonna be all right.



You listen to your daddy, sugar,

and you don't do anything stupid.



You two--

Simon says sit the fuck down.



Sit down.



Now, where are the keys

to the motorhome?



On the dresser.



All right.

Richie, you take these keys.



You start this big bastard up

and drive it up front.



Richie, would you do me a favour

and eat my pussy for me? Please?



- Uh, sure.

- Richie, hey!



Not when you get around to it. Now.



You, Gidget, go in the bathroom

and put on some clothes.



You got three minutes. One second

longer, I shoot your father in the face.



- Do you understand what I just said?

- Yes.



- Do you believe me?

- Yes.



You damn well better. Go.



Look, if you want the motorhome,

just take it and get out.



It's not gonna be that easy, Pops.



We're gonna go on a little ride.



Not a chance.



- Come again?

- If you're taking people, take me.



But my kids aren't going

anywhere with you.



Sorry, Pops. I need everybody.



My children are not going

with you, and that's that.



That's not fucking that.

This is fucking this.






You sit down. Sit down.



You, go sit over there.

Go sit over there now. Move it.



Sit down.



Now, I don't have time to fuck around,

so I'm gonna make this simple.



You take your kids and you get

in that motorhome...



or I will execute all three

of you right now.



So, what's it gonna be?



Yes or no answer.



- Yes.

- Hey, your old man's all right.



He just saved your life.



Time's up, princess. Here we go.



Okay, ramblers, let's get rambling.



Excuse me.






Where are you takin' us?



- Mexico.

- What's in Mexico?






- Richie?

- Yeah?



Put in your bit.



- I grind my teeth.

- Dengue woman



- What are their names?

- Scott and Kate.



Scott and Kate. Who's this?



- My wife.

- Where is the little lady?



In heaven.



She dead?



- Yes, she is.

- How'd she die?



Auto wreck.



Come on, Jacob, give me some

more details. How did it happen?



Some fuckin' drunk kill her?



No. it was a rainy night.



The brakes on the car weren't great.



She had to stop suddenly.



She slid on the road.

She crashed. She died.



- She died right away?

- Not quite.



She was trapped in the wreck

for about...



six hours before she passed on.



Yep. Those acts of God really stick

it in and break it off, don't they?



Yes, they do.



ls that real?






I've seen one of these things before.

A friend of mine had himself ordained...



a minister of his own religion.



Some way to fuck the IRS.



ls that what you're doing,

or are you the real McCoy?



Real McCoy.



You're a preacher?



I was a minister.



"Was," as in not any more?



- Yes.

- Why'd you quit?



I think I've gotten about as up close

and personal with you as I'm gonna get.



Let's just keep this friendly, okay,

Pops? Let's not get too sensitive.



Oh, you're right.



Enough with the gettin'-to-know-you

shit. All right.



I don't give a rat's ass

about you or your fuckin' family.



You can all live forever,

or you can die this second.



And I don't give a shit which.

The only things that I care about...



are me, that son of a bitch back there

in the back and our money.



So you help us get across the border

without incident, you stay with us...



through the night

without trying anything funny,

without trying to escape...



and in the morning,

I'm gonna let you guys go, all of you.



How do I know you'll keep your word?



You have to convince me

you're telling the truth.



Look, dick-head, the only thing

that you have to be convinced about...



is the fact that you are stuck

in a situation with a couple

of real mean motor scooters...



and I don't want to have to worry

about you all fuckin' night.



You know, and I don't think you wanna

be worrying about my brother's...



intentions towards your daughter

all night either.



Did you notice the way

that he was looking at her?



- Yes.

- You didn't like it, did you?



- No, I didn't.

- I didn't think so.



You get us into Mexico...



and you don't try to escape,

and your daughter will be safe.



And in the morning, I will let you go.

I give you my word, Jacob.



If he touches her, I'll kill him.



Fair enough. You break your word,

I'll kill all of ya.



You got me all crazy



I can't get outta of bed



Bones are achin'



Backed up in my head



Dengue woman



Stay away from me



You got your aches and pains



All over me



Did you mean what you said

back there in the room?






In the room.



Did you mean what you said back there,

or were you just foolin' around?



Because if-if you really want me

to do that for you, I will.



I'd be happy to.



Do what?



What you said back there in the room.



What did I say?



- You asked me if I would eat out--

- Richie.



- What?

- I told you to watch those kids,

not to talk to them.



You don't have nothin' to say to one

another, so let's just cut the chatter.



We'll talk later, okay?



- Just stand back there.

- Move it up. Move it up.



All right, everybody. it's show time.

Richie, you take Kate into the bathroom.



Scott, get up here with your dad.

Let's go. Let's go!



Now, what are you gonna say?



I don't have the slightest idea.



Just keep thinking about that gun

next to Kate's head.



Get in.



- Another one up. Come on.

- Come on. Let's go.



- This isn't gonna work, Seth.

- Shut up. it's gonna work just fine.



Dad, what are you gonna do?



I'm gonna try and get us

across the border.



Dad, you have to tell them

that they're back there.



- Have you forgotten about your sister?

- I want to go on record right now as

saying that this is a very bad idea.



Duly noted. Now shut up.



Step right over there.

That's okay.



They're gonna kill us, Dad. They're

gonna get us across the border...



take us out in the desert somewhere,

then they're gonna fuckin' shoot us.



If they get over the border,

they're gonna let us go.



They won't. Dad, come on.

I watch those reality shows.



They never let anybody go.

Any cop will tell you...



in a situation like this,

you get a chance and you go for it.



I know it may not seem like it,

but I know exactly what I'm doing.



- You're gonna have to trust me on this.

- I can't do that, Dad.



If you don't tell the cops, I will.



Listen to me. You ain't gonna do

a goddamned thing, you hear me?



I'm runnin' the show.

I make the decisions.



- He is running the show.

- I'm running the show!



- Dad!

- I'm runnin' the show!



Shh. I make the plays.



You back the plays I make.



I need your cover.



Cover me.



How many with you?



Just my son and l.



What's your purpose in Mexico?



Vacation. I'm taking him

to see his first bullfight.



- They're gonna search the van.

- As long as you don't act...



like a fuckin' nut,

we're gonna be just fine.



What the hell's

that supposed to mean?



- What?

- You just called me a "fuckin' nut."



- No, I didn't.

- Yes, you did.



You said as long as I don't act

"like a fucking nut."



- Implying that I've been acting

like a fucking nut.

- Take a pill, all right?



- I just meant be cool.

- Yeah, you meant that.



- But you meant the other too.

- This is not the time, Richie.



- Hey, fuck those spic pigs, man!

You called me a "fucking nut."

- Would you just--



- Now, where I come from,

that stops the train in its tracks.

- Keep your fucking voice down.



Or what?



What was that?



Oh. That was, uh...



just-just my daughter

in the bathroom.



I thought you said

it was just you and your son.



Um, I meant me and my son

and my daughter.



Open up. I'm comin' aboard.



What was the nuttiest thing

I did, Seth?



- I'm curious. Tell me.

What? What was it?

- This is not the time, Richie.



I know. Was it possibly when your ass

was rotting in jail and I broke it out?



Was that the nuttiest thing?

That was nutty, not to mention stupid.






- I'm in the bathroom.

- Open up. it's the Border Patrol.



It's open.



Do you mind?

Shut the fuckin' door, please.



Excuse me.



Goddam, that was intense!



Oh, baby, we did it.

We're in Mexico.



We're fuckin' in Mexico,

you little piece of fuckin' shit!



Come on! Kate, get out here.

Come on.



All right, listen up.

Everybody listen.



Now, I know that I've put

you all through hell...



and I know that I have been

one rough pecker.



But from here on out,

you guys are all in my cool book.



Now, Scotty, I want you to help me

with Richie. We're gonna lay him down

on the couch over there.



Jacob, you're gonna keep driving

down this street...



until you come to another street

called Digallo.



When you get to Digallo, you're

gonna turn this big bastard left...



and you're gonna go down a couple

of miles until you see a bar

called the Titty Twister.



From what I understand,

you cannot miss it.



- Then?

- And then you stop...



because that's where we're goin'.



Listen. Don't make a career

out of this, okay? Come on. Hey.



Hey. You okay?



Yeah, I think so.

What happened?



I don't know.

You just passed out.



- I did?

- You said something

about your hand hurtin'...



and then you just hit the ground

like a sack of potatoes.



- Really?

- Head hit the toilet.



You scared the shit out of me.

You sure you're okay there?



Yeah, l-l think so.

I'm just a little fucked up.



Well, let me tell you something

that's gonna clear your head right up.



- What?

- We are officially Mexicans.



- We're in Mexico, buddy.

- We are?



Yeah, we're headin' down

to the rendezvous right now.



We're gonna pound booze,

wait for Carlos.



When he gets there,

he's gonna take us down to El Rey.



And then you and l, my brother,

we're gonna kick fuckin' back.



How you like them apples?



Far out.



- Where's my glasses?

- Oh, uh, yeah, they, uh--



They broke when you fell.



- Fuck, Seth!

These are, like, my only pair.

- Well, don't worry about it.



-We'll get you another pair.

-What do you mean, don't worry about it?

Of course I'm gonna worry about it.



- I can't fuckin' see!

- I'll take care of it when we get

to El Rey.



Yeah, like some Mexican

hole in the wall's gonna

have my fuckin' prescription.



lt-lt's not a big deal

until you make it a big deal, Richie.



Now, I was in a very good mood, so stop

bringing me down with this bullshit!



I can't wear this shit.



Hey, guys. We're here.



All right.

Pussy, pussy, pussy!



Come on in, pussy lovers!



Here at the Titty Twister,

we're slashing pussy in half.



Give us an offer on our best selection

of pussy. This is a pussy blowout!



All right, we got white pussy, black

pussy, Spanish pussy, yellow pussy.



We got hot pussy, cold pussy.

We got wet pussy. We got smelly pussy.



We got hairy pussy, bloody pussy.

We got snappin' pussy.



We got silk pussy, velvet pussy,

Naugahyde pussy.



We even got horse pussy, dog pussy,

chicken pussy.



Come on. You want pussy?

Come on in, pussy lovers.



If we don't got it, you don't want it.

Come on in, pussy lovers.



Come on!



Okay, troops, it's the homestretch.



Here's the deal.

This place closes at dawn.



Carlos is gonna meet us here

sometime before dawn.



Now, we are gonna go in there.

We're gonna take a seat.



We're gonna have a drink.

We're gonna have a bunch of drinks.



And we're gonna wait for Carlos.

Let me say something.



I'm very happy about where we're at.

We got a real, nice...



l-don't-fuck-with-you, you-don't-

fuck-with-me attitude goin' on.



So if everybody just

keeps playin' it cool--

and I'm talkin' to you too, Richie--



then everybody's gonna get

what they want.



Okay, hard drinkers. Let's drink hard.

I'm buyin'. Come on.



Here we go.



Out of the stew pot

and into the fire.



Attention, pussy shoppers!

Take advantage of our penny pussy sale.



If you buy one piece of pussy

at the regular price...



you'll get another piece of pussy of

equal or lesser value for only a penny.



Try and beat pussy for a penny!



If you can find cheaper pussy anywhere,

fuck it!



Hey, what do we have approaching here?



A new flavour: apple pie pussy.



- Hey, not so fast, slick.

- Step aside, asshole.



Now, is my shit together

or is my shit together?



Here we go.



Hi. How ya doin'?

Enjoying it? I hope so.






this is my kind of place.



I could become a regular.






- You can't come in here.

- What do you mean?



It's a private bar.

You're not welcome.



Are you tellin' me that I'm

not good enough to drink here?



This bar is for bikers

and truckers only.



You, get out!



- Take your hand off of me.

- I'm gonna count to three.



No, I'm gonna count to three.



- One.

- Two.

- Now, wait a minute.



There's no reason to get ugly.

There is just a misunderstanding

going on here.



You said this bar is

for truckers and bikers?



Well, I'm a truck driver.



If you look outside your door

in your parking lot, you'll see...



a big recreational vehicle.



That's mine. In order

to drive that legally...



you need a Class Two driver's license.



This bar is for truck drivers?

I am a truck driver.



And these are my friends.



Welcome to the Titty Twister.



Bottle of whisky and five glasses.



Coming right out.



- They serve food here, Jose?

- The best in Mexico.



I kind of doubt that.



We're gonna go over here. You send

a waitress over to take our order, okay?






Mary had a little lamb



His fleece was black as coal, yeah



Any time you want a lap dance

with that girl, kid,

just let me know, all right?



It's on me.



- He followed her to school

- Pass.



- ls it against your religion?

- No, I do drink.



I'm just not drinkin' now.



Fair enough. More for me.

Scott, how 'bout you?



- No.

- Kate, how 'bout you?



No, I can't. I'm not    yet.



That means yes.

Post time, Kate!



Here we go. You slam it down, you knock

the glass down on the table, all right?



One, two, three!



Thattagirl, Kate.



Scotty, you ready? Here we go.

You ready for one?



- Okay.

- No, you won't.



Yes, he will. Yes, he will,

because I'm not drinkin' by myself.



- Kate, round two.

You ready? Here we go.

- Yes, I'll have another one. Thank you.



On three. One, two, three.



Why are you so agitated?



I'm still stewin' about that ape

layin' his hand on me.



- What are you gonna do?

- I'm gonna sit here,

and I'm gonna finish this bottle.



And when I am finished,

I'm gonna take this bottle...



and I'm gonna bust it

over his melon fucking head.



Before we stepped in here,

you told all of us to be cool.



- So that means you too.

- I never said do what I do.



I said do what I say.



On my way I passed it



Express yourself



Are you such a fucking loser...



you can't tell when you've won?



- What'd you call me?

- Nothing.



I didn't make a statement.

I asked a question.



Would you like me to ask it again?



Are you such a loser,

you can't tell when you've won?



The entire state of Texas,

along with the FBI...



are looking for you.



Did they find you?



No, they couldn't.



You've won, Seth.



Enjoy it.






I want you to have a drink with me.



I insist.



To your family.



To yours.



And now, for your viewing pleasure...



the Mistress of the Macabre...



the Epitome of Evil,

the most sinister woman to ever dance

on the face of this Earth--



- Bite this!

- Lowly dog.



Bow your head.



Kneel and worship at the feet...



of Santanico Pandemonium!



Watching her



Strolling in the night



So right, wondering why



It's only after dark



In her eyes



The distant firelight



Burns bright, wondering why



It's only after dark



Find myself



In her room



Feel the fever



Of my doom



Falling, falling

through the floor



I'm knocking on

the devil's door, yeah



Burning, burning



In the flame



Now that I know her secret name



You can tell whose heaven will go



But she'll be back

and through the gate



That's what I call a fuckin' show!



Come here!



- That guy. it's the puta over there.

- Richie, get back on the clock.



- How many?

- Three.



Which one?



This piece of shit here, man...



broke my finger and my nose!



And this faggot kicked me in the ribs

while I was down.



- Up!

- Fuck off, bogeyman!






All right, everybody be cool, or you'll

be just as dead as these fucks!



How's your hand?

Let me see it.






Do you think that was funny?



Sit down!



- Richie, look out!

- Motherfuckin' shit!



- Get the fuck off!

- Hey! Hey!



- Get her off me!

- Hey! Hey!



What the fuck are you doing?

Shoot her!



I'm comin', buddy!



- Richie. Richie.

- Fuckin' bitch.






Fuckin' bitch.






Hey. Hey.






What the fuck?



Dinner is served.




Get off me, man!



Come on! Come on, you!




No, no, no!

Look out! Look out!



You know what everybody

says about me, huh?



I suck!



Let's see if you taste

as good as your brother.



Fuck you.



Hey, hey, hey!



Oh, shit.






Give me that!



I'm not gonna drain you




You'll be my slave.



Because I don't think

you're worthy of human blood...



you'll feed on the blood

of stray dogs.



You'll be my footstool,

and at my command...



you'll lick the dog shit

from my boot heel.



- Oh.

- Since you'll be my dog...



your new name will be Spot.



Welcome to slavery.



No, thanks.

I already had a wife.



We might be in trouble.



Yo. Monkey man.



Anything you got

to say to them...



you can say to me first.



That's enough.



Ain't they supposed to

burn up or somethin'?






Now let's kill that fucking band.



I can do that.



Fuck you, everybody!

Good night!






Hey, buddy.



I'm sorry

I fucked things up, Richie.



You would've liked it in El Rey.

You would've--



You would've found peace there.



I love you, buddy.



I love you too, Seth.



You touch my brother

with that stake, biker...



and vampires aren't gonna have to

suck your blood; they'll be able to

lick it up off the floor.



- He's not your brother any more.

- That's a matter of opinion,

and I don't give a fuck about yours.



Don't be a fool!

He'll kill us all.



- Shut up!

- Shut up!



Let's go. Move. Move. Move.



Hold him down.



Richie, here is the peace in death...



that I could not give you

in life.






Seth, are you okay?



I'm peachy. Okay?

The world is my oyster.



Except for the fact that I just--



I just rammed a wooden stake

into my brother's chest...



because he turned into a vampire...



even though

I don't believe in vampires.



Aside from that

unfortunate business...



everything is hunky-dory.



- I'm really, really sorry.

- Bullshit! Bullshit!



If it were to up to you

if you had half a chance,

you would feed us to those fucks.



Then why didn't l?



I'm sorry you lost your brother.

I'm sorry he's dead.



I'm sorry everybody's dead.



But if we're gonna get out of this we

need you clean and sober and thinking...



not drunk.



- What is that?

- Don't know.



First I thought it was just birds.



It's bats.



Give me a hand.









You're dead! Oh!



Come on!



We'll take care of this mess.

Go stake the rest of those ugly fucks.



I'm way ahead of you.



- Watch your step.

What's your name, girlie?

- Kate. What's yours?



- Sex Machine.

Pleased to meet you, Kate.

- Me too.






- ls everybody okay?

- Yeah, I'm okay.



- Does anybody know

what's going on here?

- I know what's going on.



We got a bunch of fuckin' vampires

out there trying to get in here

and suck our fuckin' blood.



And that's it.

Plain and simple.



And I don't wanna hear anything about

"l don't believe in vampires"...



because I don't fucking believe

in vampires...



but I believe in my own two eyes

and what I saw is fucking vampires.



Now, do we all agree that

what we are dealing with is vampires?



- Yes.

- You too, Preacher?



- I don't believe in vampires,

but I believe in what I saw.

- Good for you.



All right, now that we all agree

that we're dealing with vampires,

what do we know about vampires?



Crosses hurt vampires.

Do we have a cross?



- In the motorhome.

- In other words, no.



Wait a second. I mean, just look around.

We got crosses all over the place.



All you gotta do is put two sticks

together and you got a cross.



Yeah, he's right.

Peter Cushing does that all the time.



Okay, I'll buy that.

So we got crosses covered. What else?



Wooden stakes in the heart

been workin' pretty good so far.



And garlic. Sunlight. Holy water.



I'm not sure-- Eh, doesn't silver

have somethin' to do with vampires?



- That's werewolves.

- I know silver bullets

are werewolves...



but I'm sure silver has

something to do with vampires.



Well, does anybody have

any silver?



Okay. Then who cares?



Has anybody here read

a real book about vampires...



or are we just remembering

what some movie said?



- I mean, a real book.

- You me-- You mean,

like a Time-Life book?



I take it the answer's no.



Okay, then, what do we know

about these vampires?



Well, we know they got superhuman

strength, but we can hurt 'em.



- Yeah.

- Another thing, though.



If you're gonna drive a chair leg

through a human, you'd better be

one strong son of a bitch.



I mean, the human body

is one rough, tough machine.



But these vamps-- these vamps,

they're, they're, they have soft bodies.



The texture of their skin is softer.

They're mushier.

You can push it right through them.



You see, but if you hit one hard enough,

take their head right off.



Actually, our best weapon

against these satanic cocksuckers...



is this man.



He's a preacher.



As far as God's concerned, we might

as well all be a piece of shit...



but he is one of the boys.



Only one problem:

His faith isn't what it used to be.



I've had enough of your taunts.



I'm not taunting you, Jacob.

We need you.



A faithless preacher

doesn't mean shit to us.



A servant of God can take a cross

and shove it up these monsters' asses.



A servant of God can bless the tap water

and make it a weapon.



Jacob, I know

why you lost your faith.



How could holiness exist...



if your wife can be taken away

from you and the children?



I've always said

that God can kiss my ass...



but I just changed my lifetime tune

about    minutes ago...



'cause I know that whatever

is out there tryin' to get in...



is pure evil straight from hell.



And if there is a hell

and those sons of bitches are from it...



then there has got to be

a heaven, Jacob, there's gotta be.



So, which are you?



Are you a faithless preacher, or are you

a mean motherfuckin' servant of God?



I'm a mean...



servant of God.



I don't know if I can take

much more of that noise.



Sure you can.



You can take it

because you got no choice.



How'd you like to spend    hours of it

lyin' in some muddy ditch...



with nothing but the rotten corpses

of your friends to keep you company?



What are you talking about?



I was in 'Nam back in '  .



I was trapped behind enemy lines

with my entire squad dead.



They thought

they had killed everyone.



Except for me,

they was right.



But it wasn't for

their lack of tryin'.



A grenade blew up right beside me.



That's why I'm so pretty.



And they started pushin'

all them bodies in on top of me...



and all I could do was lay there,

play possum...



listen to the enemy joke, laugh.



Hour after hour after hour

I lay--



- Kill them. Kill them all.

- Kill them.



- Kill them.

- Kill them all.



Sex Machine.



- Kill them.

- Kill them.



Kill them!



So I finally climbed

out of this hole...



and I sneaked up on the enemy

while he was sleepin'...



and I killed one,

two, three, four, five--



When I came to my senses...



I realized I'd killed

an entire V.C. squad single-handed.



There was blood...



and chunks of yellow flesh

clinging to my bayonet.



To this day, I don't remember--



Get it off of me! Get it off of me!

Please! Get it off!









Fuckin' bit me.

Fuckin' bit me!



- What are you gonna do about it?

- Come on, Sex Machine!



Oh, shit!



Get up. Get up! Up! Come on!



Go! Come on!



- Wait. We have to go back

for my father.

- Your dad's dead, Kate.



He is the light.



The people who walk...



in the darkness...



have seen the light!



Open the door!



Open the door!



- Go! Go!

- Daddy!



Jacob, are you bit?







Motherfucking vampires!



I'm gonna kill every last one

of you godless fuckin' pieces of shit!



You bet you are, and I'm gonna help

you do it. But we ain't got much time.



- You're gonna be okay, aren't you?

- No, I'm not.



I've been bit.

In fact, I'm already dead.



Now, I'd say in the next

   or    minutes...



our friends outside

will bust in this door...



and I'll probably turn into a vampire

within the hour.



Now, you have two choices: You can wait

for me to turn, then deal with me,



or we can kick open that door...



and the four of us can go at 'em,

hit 'em with everything we have.



But if we're gonna go at 'em,

we gotta go at 'em now.



What's this stuff?



My guess is this little dive

has been feeding on bikers

and truckers for a long time.



This is probably the shipments

that they stole off the trucks.



Well, I say let's tear

this place apart for weapons...



so when they burst through the door

we'll make 'em wish they never did.



I don't care about livin' or dyin'

any more. I just wanna send as many

of these devils back to hell as I can.






Loving God, bless this water and give us

your protection and strength...



- in this, our darkest hour. Amen.

- Amen.



Before we go any further I need

you three to promise me something.



I'll fight with you to the bitter end,

but when I turn into one of them...



I won't be Jacob any more.



I'll be a lapdog of Satan.



I want you three to promise you'll take

me down, no different from the rest.



I promise, Jacob.



Kate? Scott?



- I promise.

- Scott.



Yeah, I promise.



Why don't I believe you?



I'm gonna ask you two again.



Then I want you to swear to God

that you'll kill me!



If you don't, I'm gonna just

kill myself right now.



Now, since you need me

I think you'd better swear!



Kate, do you swear to God...



that when I become one of the undead

you'll kill me?



Kate! We don't have much time, so I'm

only giving you to the count of five.



One, two, three, four--



Okay! All right!

I promise I'll do it!



Good girl. Now, Scott,

we have even less time...



so I'm givin' you

to the count of three.



- One--

- You don't--

You don't believe in suicide.



It's not suicide

if you're already dead. Two!



Okay! Okay.



I'll kill you when you change.

I swear to God in Jesus Christ's name.



- Thank you, son.

- Okay, vampire killers.



Let's kill some fuckin' vampires.



Come out of darkness

and see the light.



Come out of darkness

and see the light.



From the darkness to light.



Come out of darkness

and see the light.



Come out of darkness

and see the light.



Kill 'em all!



Come on! Come on!






Dad, not y-- Aah!

Dad! Dad! Dad!



I swear to God

in Jesus Christ's name.



- Oh, my God!

- Fight now, cry later!



Get the fuck off!

No! Get off! Get off! Off! Get off!



Kill me, Kate.



Just kill me, Kate.



I can't.



- How many bullets do you have?

- I don't know. Not many.



When you run out, start cold-cockin'

'em. Make 'em sing for their supper.



Seth, should I save

the last bullets for us?



No. Use it on the next fuck

that tries to bite you.



Shoot more holes.

Shoot more holes!



- Perfect.

- Oh, they can't go into the light.




All right, go.



Seth, don't leave me.



Hey! Come on, then. Come on.

Come here. Come on!



Come on, you! Come on!

Come here, you fucks!




I'm looking for my friend Seth!



Carlos! Kick in the door!



- Go!

- Son of a bitch.



What the fuck

was goin' on in there?



What's the matter with you?

Are you crazy?



Why, out of all the godforsaken

shitholes in Mexico...



do we have to meet here?



One place is just as good

as another.



- You never been here before?

- No.



I drove by it a couple times.



It's a rowdy place. it's out in the

middle of nowhere. There'll be no cops.



And it's open from dusk till dawn.

Hey, didn't you say you wanted

to meet in the morning? Here we are.



Well, since you just picked this place

out of a hat, my brother is dead.



That girl's

entire fucking family is dead.



- What, were they psychos, or--

- They look like psychos?



ls that what they looked like?

They were vampires.



Psychos do not explode

when sunlight hits 'em.



I don't give a fuck

how crazy they are.



Seth, how can I make it up to you?



Can't-- You can't make it up to me,

Carlos. I tell you, you can't do it.



Can't make it up.



Fifteen percent instead of

thirty percent for my stay in El Rey.



That's a good start.



- Twenty-eight.

- My brother's gone.



You understand that? He's gone, and he's

not coming back, and that is your fault.






- Twenty-five.

- Twenty-five.



Kate, go to the RV,

get the suitcase.



You look like hell.



You want a cold beer?

I got some in the car.



Come on. They're cold. Huh?



I got Mexican and domestic.



- So, how do you like the car?

- it's all right.



I said "like new."

This is a '  .



Hey, it is new, cabron. Belonged

to a drug dealer friend of mine.



Hey, he only drove it, like,

   times in five years.



It's like new, I swear to God.



- So, what do I do, follow you?

- Yeah. Follow me.



All right, let's do it.



I'm sorry.



Yeah, I'm sorry too.



- I'll see you.

- Seth.



You need some company?



Kate, do you know where I'm going?

Do you know what El Rey is?



- No.

- Hey, Seth.



It's time to go.



Go home, Kate.



I may be a bastard,

but I'm not a fuckin' bastard.


Special help by SergeiK