Sunday, October 15, 2006

Wish me fortitude.

It's that time of year again--the pre-holiday systemic cleanse, otherwise known as Spa Week.

Last year I did this after an entire summer of vain fantasizing about winning a week at a chichi spa upstate in the NYC Public Library raffle. Oh, to do yoga every day, sit in saunas, get massaged, eat healthy gourmet meals, generally be peaceful and serene. Then I realized--hey, I can do this myself.

This year I have a Focus. I want to get my system clear enough so that my left ankle stops locking up, and lose enough weight and get strong enough so that I can, maybe, one day, run all the way around Prospect Park, or take flamenco lessons, or both. This is ambitious. More than one chiropractor has flatly stated that I would be wise to hang up my running shoes forever. I didn't even mention flamenco.

But in order to follow the directions that Caroline so kindly sent me, after she coincidentally called to tell me about the healing diet she's on, I need a motivating force. A strong one.

Because this is the diet:

Hi Baby!!

Here's the cleanse/detox info.

the idea is to eliminate sugar, salt, dairy, refined foods, proteins, grains-- anything you might be allergic to. You eat foods that demand little energy for digestion, allowing the body extra energy to cleanse.

So in the morning, from when you get up til 12, eat acid fruits with nothing else. As much as you want, but wait 2 hours after eating the fruit to eat again.

Acid Fruits:

acerola cherry
sour apple
sour grape
sour peach
sour plum

Peak digestion time is from 12pm-8pm. Eat non-starch/green veggies. Again, as much as you want, but wait 5 hours before eating again, and don't eat anything after 8pm. Herbal tea is ok after 8. You can eat the veggies with fat (olive oil, flaxseed oil, or Udos oil) and/or mild starch (see below), OR eat them with tomato and lemon.

Non-Starch/Green Veggies:

bamboo shoots
bell pepper
beet greens
bok choy
brussels sprouts
green beans
fresh peas
squash (not banana or hubbard)
swill chard (? what's that?)
turnip greens

Mild starch: (eat with non-starch green veggies, oil... wait 5 hours to eat again)

caladium root

You can have black strap molasses, maple syrup (grade B is less refined so it's better), and raw honey.

Substitute Braggs amino acids for salt.

Take 4 tbls. of flaxseed oil a day

You can use braggs apple cider vinegar in your salad dressings

Dont eat black pepper- use paprika or cayenne

Eat garlic and ginger

Let me know how it's going!

I love you!

Yargh. This sort of thing is easy for Caroline. I think she's a natural ascetic. She probably spent a former lifetime as Agnes of God, or something. Me, I'm a naturally self-indulgent mesomorph. I broke my Mastercleanse fast with a steak taco, forget the carrrot juice. I get cranky when subsisting on rabbit food.

But I am also cranky when I sleep to much because my body seems to require it, when I hobble out of bed every morning, when my brain is foggy and I can't seem to get motivated. So I will see if I can give it a jump-start.

Oriane has agreed to attend the Russian-Turkish Baths with me, later in the week. I will try to make it to yoga every day; I will get herb tea at the Tea Lounge, and work on my stack of Improving Literature. I will scrub my apartment with a toothbrush.

I may be blogging a lot; I may be bitching, whining, reminiscing, or hallucinating. I need your psychic support. Do not abandon me in this time of trial.


danonymous said...

In support of your diet/fast I commit to five days of strong coffee with half and half and sugar and nothing else (almost nothing anyway) then let's compare notes (and nerves).

Anonymous said...

I beg to differ! Grade B maple syrup is not less refined. It is just darker. The sap comes out of the trees later in the season.

No maple syrup is refined. Eat all you want, and enjoy it!


the tree-tapper's sweetie

serena said...

Dano, we will not be able to communicate at all by that point, unless you put maple syrup in your coffee instead of sugar. I will be communing with the Higher Vibrations, you will be losing a pitched battle with the lower ones.

And TTS, you would not believe some of the foolishness in the 'theory' behind that cleansing plan. There was a long treatise about why table salt is toxic. Well, it's half chlorine! The horror!

I'm only doing it because Caroline says it has taken away all her allergies, aches, pains, and tired feelings.

danonymoous said...

Hmmmmmm.....well ...I have been known to take Maple B swigs directly from the bottle....intense...and since the syrup is sticky, it has been a little harder to disengage meaning a bit more syrup cascading into the trough of my mouth. Oh well.
Misfortune...or is it Miss Fortune?
And as for the fast....these things are good to do. Giving the body a break from porcessed stuff is good. Even better is having the intention and carrying it out. That alone is very self-empowering.
I once did a five day fast ( with a half gallon of juice a day and water). By day two , I no longer had the patience for anything confrontational. It became very very peaceful. I don't know what came over me but I went some place (new wave was in at the time and I did some work on a night club so had in.....) and I broke the fast with 3 martinis. The fast was so good....I didn't even get drunk or high.
Well....another story

painterdog said...

Mr. D its called deficiency.
When you fast, your starving your body of nutrients and vitmins.
You can go for maybe 3, 4 days before you start to feel 'funny'.

I don't think anyone should fast more than 1 day the first time, its not good idea to shock your body that way.

Serena your describing a diet to clense the body which is full of vitamins and nutriants, its not a real fast, and it sounds very healthy to a point.

Where do you get your iron from?, I guess if you eat a lot green leafy vegetables you get a bit.

Where do you get protein from?

serena said...

Iron in spades, from all the green leafys currently choking my fridge.

Protein: None. This is beginning to be a problem.

painterdog said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
painterdog said...

how about miso soup, the Japanese recipe is made with fish broth and miso, dice some tofu and you have plenty of protein.

serena said...

Painterdog, you don't understand. The nature of this diet IS protein deprivation. Tofu and fish broth would be a complete violation of the principle. There's some theory behind it which is probably complete fantasy.

At any rate, the caffeine withdrawal headaches have abated, so I am proceeding.

painterdog said...

your body can't live without the amino acids that are in proteins for long periods.

You kind of need them.

Anyway it's great you have the discipline to do this.

I'm bad with diets.

serena said...

That's why I'm supposed to be salting everything with Bragg's Liquid Amino Acids. It tastes like too-strong soy sauce.

I don't have discipline, merely desperation. I am becoming addicted to Yogi Tea with honey, which I highly recommend.

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