July 29, 2009

Kahn! is making sausage

The process isn't pretty, but the end result might be tasty. At this rate, every player in the NBA might be a Woofie for a week. Hell, Sliznewski's phone might ring. He has an expiring contract doesn't he?

July 1, 2009

Your Mother Should Know

Zack Randolph was traded today. To the Grizz.

Cue Dickfer: "I don't even know what he's doing, Leo." (sadly, that video has disappeared)

Randolph is pretty much everything that is wrong about the NBA, or more succinctly, was wrong about Isaiah Thomas. He is a total knucklehead, having never behaved in a manner befitting a professional janitor, let alone basketball player. He never ever tries on defense, ever. He demands the ball and shoots whenever he touches it. He has never given a consistent effort on two consecutive nights, never, not once in his entire fucking life. In short, he is the absolute worst player to have on your team... a born loser.

Memphis getting him is a head-scratcher, not because they gave up anything (Q is literally a shell at this point), but because WHY WOULD ANYONE WANT THIS MAN ON YOUR TEAM? I can't imagine a single team in the NBA that would benefit from his presence in any way at all. Even if your team was right on the verge of winning it all, and you just needed one more guy to get 8 points a game and a few rebounds.... that's not what Zach does! He gets his points, and his rebounds, but at what a cost?

This is the inherent fallacy of viewing the NBA from a statistics-only perspective (well, any sport for that matter). Randolph averages 16.7 PPG and 8.3 RPG (and those numbers are much better if you exclude the first two years of his career). He "consistently" gets his points and boards. Yet I want you to tell me what you see when he plays. You see total playground ball, a 48 minute game of HORSE, with Zach vs. not only the other team but his own teammates as well. Look at the teams he has played for... Portland in their "Jail-Blazers" days, then to New York for a year and a half, then to the Clippers... now to Memphis. Can he get any worse? Can he find himself onto bigger loser teams? I swear, if he came to the Wolves, they would win 7 games next year.

His problem is his attitude, something that will likely never clear up. It's not an injury. It's not a hole in his game. Your mother would know it if she watched him. He's a goddamn malcontent who doesn't believe in trying to help his team win the games they play in. He sees the game of basketball differently than nearly every other player.