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That tiny black dress, heels and make-up can make you feel a little more sexy, but the sexiest thing about you doesn't have a color or a shape. You can't touch it, but you sure can feel it ... it's self-confidence.


The Strength to Be Confident

Beauty is far beyond skin deep. There are "beautiful" women who think negatively about their appearance, and women who some might say are not as "beautiful," yet they exude confidence and self-acceptance. That inner-strength to believe in who you are, own your body and keep in your mind a positive view of who you are is the strength you have to build to be sexy.


[Read: Stacy London: Rewriting Your Life Story Through Style.]

The Strength to Define Your Beauty


Trying to please others or live up to others' expectations is not sexy. To build strength to define your own beauty, consider your body in your own definition of sexy. Try to forget what you mother, boyfriend, friends or siblings may have told you about what's good, bad or ugly about your body.

[Read: Sexy Tips from a Septuagenarian.]

If you love muscles, make like Michelle Obama and get the guns you want. If you like J-Lo and Beyonce curves, then work out to stay healthy inside, and don't obsess about cutting inches here and there. Remember, if you're trying to be sexy for anyone other than yourself, you're only playing a role. To really be sexy, you have to genuinely feel it. Passion starts from the inside out, and passion is what makes sexy real.

The Strength to Accept Your Body

You deserve to feel sexy all the time. But so many women don't feel comfortable in their own skin. Whether it's because you don't see who you want to be in the mirror, or you're stuck wanting a younger version of you, it's time to accept your body.


It wasn't until I accepted my body and changed my mindset that I could truly start healing, and positive change followed. The strength to accept your body comes from knowing your own importance. The body you want is only possible through the body you've got. Loving it, accepting it and treating your body better is essential to being sexy. So embrace the body you've got, in all its sexy glory, so you can move towards the body you want and deserve.

[Read: How to Keep Your Vagina Healthy.]

Use these action steps to pave the way for a stronger, sexier you:

• Building confidence


• Defining beauty

Accept compliments. When someone gives you a compliment, believe it. Because defining your own beauty is not just about defining what you have to offer to the world, it's also about appreciating the beauty others see in you. Embrace it.

• Accepting your body

Kill the fat talk (and skinny talk, too). Too many times there's an "us against them" struggle between "overweight" and "skinny" people. This shouldn't be. Stop the put-downs, stares and judgments towards both of these types of people. Accepting an individual is the best way to accept your own body and is the first step to stop comparing yourself to others.

[Read: There's No Such Thing as 'Perfect Eating.']

Your thoughts … How has the definition of sexy evolved for you in the last 10 years?


Well known for his work as a trainer on NBC's The Biggest Loser, Brett Hoebel is one of New York and Los Angeles' most popular fitness and nutrition experts. In addition to his certifications in nutrition, yoga and functional training, Hoebel was trained in martial arts (Capoeira and Muay Thai kickboxing) and has a pre-med, neuroscience background. He is the founder of Hoebel Fitness, a body-mind approach dedicated to inspiring healthy living, as well as the creator of in-home lifestyle-fitness programs RevAbs, reVamp, and his new 20 Minute Body program to debut in 2014. Hoebel believes in "fitness from within," acknowledging that a healthy life starts by changing yourself from the inside out.
