Harvey Mackay: How to stop the fear of success from holding you back


Legend has it that one day a man was walking in the desert when he met Fear and Plague. They said they were on the way to a city to kill 10,000 people. The man asked Plague if he was going to do all the work.

Plague smiled and said, “No, I’ll take care of only a few hundred. I’ll let my friend Fear do the rest.”

Can you actually die from fear? Most likely not. What fear kills is your spirit, your ambition, your confidence.

Several years ago I wrote a column about "The Second Ten Commandments." Commandment No. 2 stated: Thou shall not be fearful, for most of the things we fear never come to pass.

Every crisis we face is multiplied when we act out of fear. Fear is a self-fulfilling emotion. When you fear something, you empower it. If you refuse to concede to fear, there is nothing to fear.

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Success usually depends on overcoming your fears: Fear of taking a risk, fear of asserting yourself, fear of exposing your deepest self to other people, and ultimately, fear of failure. But for some people, the real fear is — believe it or not — success itself.

Fear of failure can be crippling, but fear of success can paralyze your efforts just as severely. Avoiding success may seem irrational, but success brings change, and change is often threatening.

Why we fear success

We fear success because success can bring expectations of continued success. Achieving a major goal is hard work. What happens if people expect you to keep doing it indefinitely? Can you continue to produce?

Another concern is that co-workers may look to you for advice or assistance once you’ve proved you can succeed. You may lose control over your time or your privacy. Or you might offer advice that doesn’t work as well as hoped. Then your achievements might become suspect.

Harvey Mackay is the author of New York Times No. 1 bestsellers "Swim With The Sharks Without Being Eaten Alive" and "Beware the Naked Man Who Offers You His Shirt." Both books are among the top 15 inspirational business books of all time, according to The New York Times. In total, Mackay's books have sold 10 million copies worldwide, been translated into 37 languages, and sold in 80 countries. He has been chairman of MackayMitchell Envelope Co. since 1959.