View Full Version : DarkWings Ch. 1 script

05-31-2011, 06:28 PM
This is the script for my first chapter. I'm pretty happy with how it turned out--cliches and all. Like usual, foul language and such are below.

DarkWings Chapter 1 script

The story opens with Blitz waking up to another bright morning. As he steps out of his apartment he puts on a pair of extremely dark sunglasses—to protect his sensitive eyes from the sun's unforgiving rays. He is on his way to school.

“My name is Blitz Takuyama. Go ahead and laugh—I don't fucking care. The nuns at the orphanage gave it to me. That means I was abandoned—if you haven't already caught on. I'm a worthless piece of shit with no family to speak of.”

Blitz waits at a crowded intersection. He takes advantage of the situation and reaches into his pocket for his phone. He has one new text message. It reads: YOU BETTER BE ON TIME TODAY. He grimaces before replying: NO SHIT. I DON'T WANT TO DIE.

“The text message was from a friend of mine. Yes I do have friends—but not a lot. I don't need a lot. Anyway, her name is Kiki. She's this huge bitch who loves to control my life like she's my fucking mother.”
The light above changes to red, and Blitz steps out onto the street like everyone else.

“The school I go to is apparently a big deal—to people who care. It's some prestigious High School that only rich kids get into. I'm not rich, so don't even think for an instant that I'm stuck up and shit. I'm just your typical ass-hole with a horrible personality. I got in because the principle wants my dick, or something like that. […...] That was a joke by the way. I got in because of my grades. I'm a fucking genius, audience.”

The large gate that surrounds the school finally comes into view, and Blitz scowls.

“Bright Wings Academy—my own personal Hell.”

The school is extremely fancy. The gate appears to be made out of pure gold, and two [obviously expensive] fountains are placed symmetrically on both sides of the opening. The school itself is white with a brown roof and matching window sills. It doesn't look like a typical High School. It looks more like an office building—an expensive office building. The moment Blitz steps through the gate, a bubbly brunette haired girl runs up to him and latches herself onto him. He appears to be indifferent, rather than annoyed.

“The girl practically rubbing herself against me right now is Mimi—another friend of mine. She's special.”

Mimi: Good morning, hero! [8D]
Blitz: Stop calling me that. […..] Good morning.
Mimi: How did you sleep last night? [rub, rub, rub]
Blitz: Can you stop grinding into me like some hooker looking for extra cash. And I slept fine, if you must know.
Mimi: [O:] I know you love it. But that's good.
Blitz: People are beginning to stare.
Mimi: Good! [>:3] Let's show them that our love cannot be penetrated by their hateful stares!
Blitz: Stop being stupid. Or better yet, if you don't stop I won't treat you to ice-cream tonight.
Mimi: [>:?] But you already owe me and Kiki some ice-cream for losing that bet.

“Mimi's memory is like a fucking elephant's.”

Blitz: Whatever. Just stop humping me like some horny dog.
Mimi: I thought I was some hooker looking for extra cash? [>:]]
Blitz: Same difference.

Mimi removes herself from Blitz's tall frame and places herself right beside him. She then loops her arm with his and proceeds to drag him toward the school's entrance.

“Remember when I said Mimi was special? And no, it isn't what you're thinking. It's because she's the principle's daughter.”

Blitz turns to look down at Mimi as they walk. She's too busy humming some shitty song to notice.

“She's also extremely slutty—but strangely innocent at the same time. Innocent as in stupid. If it weren't for me she'd be dead, but that's another story—and not to mention a boring one.”

Proceed with flashback.

“Fuck you.”

Blitz is pummeling the shit out of some guy. It doesn't matter who the guy is—his life holds no meaning or value. After the guy falls to the ground—barely alive—the pink haired boy turns to look down at a somewhat conscious brunette. She is clutching a small bag full of money, or something.

Blitz: Are you dead?
Girl: ...No.
Blitz: What a shame. Next question. Aren't you a little too young to be selling your body for sex?
Girl: …
Blitz: Times up. The correct answer is YES.
Girl: Stop acting like you're some hot shit. I don't see a fucking badge on you, so leave me alone.

Blitz grimaces. He then bends down and scoops the girl up. She's resisting, but he doesn't notice it because she's about half his size.


Blitz stops suddenly and drops the girl. He just drops her onto the concrete. He then turns to glare down at her.

Blitz: Don't ever fucking call me that again.
Girl: C-Call you what?

Blitz just growls and turns away. He takes his anger out on a poor, unsuspecting garbage can. The girl watches in both fear and awe. It takes a few minutes for Blitz to calm down.

Girl: ...You're really strong.
Blitz: What?
Girl: You broke that garbage can in half.
Blitz: So what—it wasn't like I was trying.
Girl: Seriously??
Blitz: Well...yeah.

And just like that the two began to have a completely random conversation. To Blitz's surprise, he didn't hate it. He actually enjoyed talking to someone for once.

After sitting in silence for a few awkward minutes, the girl turns to Blitz and places a hand on his arm. He tenses up and turns to look at her.

Girl: Want to be friends?
Blitz: Not really.
Girl: I'll stop doing this if you agree to be my friend, Blitz.
Blitz: Shit. You just trapped me.
Girl: I did. [:3]
Blitz: Fine. We'll be friends.
Girl: The best of friends?
Blitz: The best of friends.

“And here we are—a year later. Mimi stopped doing her little 'extra cash on the weekends' thing like she promised, and we became friends. Unfortunately, that's how I ended up meeting the queen of all bitches.”

Now inside of the school, Mimi is dragging Blitz toward their classroom. She stops however to turn to her right—a bright smile reaches her face and she starts to flail her arms like one of those inflatable men you see outside of car dealerships. A raven haired girl spots Mimi's flailing display and turns in her direction. A typical bitch scowl is weighing down her lips.

“Remember that text message? Yeah. This should be interesting.”

The girl approaches both Blitz and Mimi. She looks pretty pissed off—like how Blitz normally looks—but worse. She also looks identical to Mimi—despite the long black hair.

Mimi: Kiki! [8'D]
Kiki: Sister.
Blitz: Huge bitch.
Kiki: Lollipop.

Blitz grimaces. Per usual, he begins to pull at his own pink locks. He does this when he's extremely bothered—or confused, or annoyed. Mimi starts to laugh, and Kiki turns to glare at Blitz.

Kiki: I see you're on time today.
Blitz: [is too busy pulling out his hair to respond]
Mimi: He was actually early! I sort of stopped him this morning to give him one of my usual greetings. [;]]
Kiki: I told you not to do that in publiK.
Mimi: You're emphasizing your letters again, dear sister. [:P]
Kiki: Oh hush!!

“Kiki likes to emphasize the letter 'c' when it makes a 'k' sound. It's one of her many weird—not to mention annoying—quirks.”

Kiki: Whatever. Let's just get to Klass.
Mimi: Okay. [:3]

Mimi turns to grab Blitz by his arm, but he's too fast for her [epic ninja skills and all] and dodges her.

Blitz: I can walk myself to class, thank you very much.
Mimi: Hmph! [>:[]
Kiki: Can we just get going already?
Blitz: After you, your Highness.

The three proceed to their first class of the day—homeroom. After role has been called the students separate and head to their individual subjects. Kiki will be heading off to Calculus—Blitz and Mimi have P.E. together.

Blitz takes a seat at his desk, which is conveniently placed in the back corner of the room beside the window, while Mimi takes a seat to his right. Kiki's desk is located in front of Blitz's. The three begin to converse while they wait for the teacher to arrive.

Mimi: So, like, seven guys asked me out yesterday. It was so embarrassing! [>:/]
Blitz: I doubt that.
Kiki: I hope you refused them all.
Mimi: Of course I did! I know what all guys want when they look at me, and it isn't my pretty face. [D:<]
Blitz: How tragic. I feel for you—I really do.
Mimi: Jealous. [>_>]
Blitz: As if.
Kiki: Okay both of you shut up. The teacher finally decided to show up.

An older man with a chin covered in scruff strolls into the room with a cup of coffee in his hand. Almost immediately he turns to look at Blitz.

Teacher: It's good to see you on time today, Mr. Takuyama.
Blitz: Nice to see you too, John.
Mr. Deere: That's Mr. Deere.
Blitz: Yeah whatever.
Mimi: Mr. Deere! HI! [8D]
Mr. Deere: ...Hi, Mimi.

Role is called and the class disperses. Mimi waves goodbye to Kiki before she vanishes into the hallway, and Blitz is stuck waiting for the detention slip he received only minutes before.

Mr. Deere: Did you really have to flip off Caine?
Blitz: He deserved it.
Mr. Deere: He probably deserves worse.
Blitz: Heh.
Mr. Deere: Unfortunately, per usual, I'll have to give you a detention. Just show up and I'll dismiss you—lesson learned?
Blitz: Lesson learned.
Mr. Deere: Good. Now hurry to your next class.

Blitz takes the detention slip from his teacher and makes his way toward Mimi. She makes an inappropriate gesture with her hands, and he bonks her on the head for it.

Blitz: You have a sick mind.
Mimi: Hehehehe. [>:3]

“The rest of the day dragged on like usual. I had to fend off like seven guys during P.E. because Mimi decided to wear her shorts a little too high. I swear adolescence is a disease.”

Blitz is at his locker—which looks like a mini tornado had been blowing inside of it all day—and is grabbing some things from it. Bags of chips, some rags, and a liter of soda. His locker was like Mary Poppins' fucking purse.

“I can't recall the rest of the day after P.E. I usually fall asleep after lunch—which was amazing—so I digress.”

Blitz is now walking home—Mimi and Kiki are nowhere to be seen.

“Mimi and Kiki live on the other side of town, where the rich people like to separate themselves from the common folk. I usually walk home alone during the week. Like I said before, I don't need any company.”

The sun has set and the streets are strangely quiet. Blitz lives in the Industrial District of the city, so normally people would be out and about working or socializing. But tonight the air was still and stagnant. It was a familiar sensation—the sensation of being watched. Blitz stops and drops his schoolbag on the road beside his feet. He glances over his shoulder and catches a glimpse of something rustling within a nearby shadow. His eyes narrow.

“There's one thing I forgot to mention. It isn't important or anything, but notable nevertheless.”

A large creature lunges at Blitz from the shadows. It is the size of a small rhinoceros—its head takes up most of its body—with a dozen eyes and several rows of sharp teeth. Blitz turns around to face the incoming behemoth with an indifferent expression. He sidesteps the first swipe, counters with his next step, and sends the creature flying down the street with a strong kick.

Blitz's arms transform into oversized claws—black in color—which he uses to grab the creature and tear it right down the middle. Purple blood is splattered all over his lithe frame—staining his white shirt and pale face.

“I'm a monster, or something.”


05-31-2011, 09:29 PM
I like it, the charecters are very original have that charm to em! I lol'd at “She's also extremely slutty—but strangely innocent at the same time."

05-31-2011, 10:26 PM
thanks. I worked a lot on them.
that quote made me "LOL" while writing this thing.

06-03-2011, 04:22 PM
Do you have any pages sketched out?

06-03-2011, 10:19 PM
there isnt much I can do with a mouse, so no not yet

06-04-2011, 02:32 PM
Your writing style and your character are really awesome, and you ended the first chapter in a great way, there's not much i can say, this can turn into a great manga if you keep it up like this... i really want to read the next chapter now...

06-04-2011, 07:01 PM
^ well, just for that, I'll work on the next chapter script right now.

06-05-2011, 03:08 AM