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proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
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Experience:  Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
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This week, my son started some new behavior in daycare. He

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This week, my son started some new behavior in daycare. He is 17 months old and he gets easily frustrated and throws a tantrum (this isn't new) and now he has started tackling and wanting to wrestle the other kids in his classroom. He will pull their hair and basically wrestle. I am told it usually starts with my son teasing the other child by taking his pacifier. He doesn't get the reaction he wants (playing back with him and taking the paci back), so he will then try to hug the child and the other child gets scared and tries to get away. My son will not let go, the other child falls and my son continues to want to play/wrestle. He has also pulled hair. I have no other children, I'm a single mom, and I don't rough-house with him. I do play the paci game with him and he loves it. I'm concerned and don't know what I should do, or if this is kind of normal, or possibly signaling a new developmental stage. He knows a few sign language things and can point out items on command. He has also started talking a lot of gibberish and thinks he is carrying on a conversation with you. The other children in his class or a little smaller and none seem to interact the way he does. Any suggestions? Should I be concerned. He did something similar right before he was moved into this room. He would cry uncontrollably, although nothing was wrong. I finally decided he had to be bored and asked that he be moved to the next room with older children. You had to be walking to go to that room, but I begged them to try. It worked! He was fine and even began walking within a couple of weeks. I'm almost wondering if he's bored again and needs to move to the next room. Help! (and the only thing "new" is allegra medication for allergies...but he's bee on that for a month)
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 3 years ago.
What are the ages of the children in his current classroom? Does he interact in a playful wrestling manner with any male relatives young or old?
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 3 years ago.
I see that your question is also in the Pediatric category.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

The ages are 11 months to 16 months.

No, I'm a single mom; so there are no men or other kids around.


I did ask the same question on the pediatrician side, but only got a one sentence response that it's normal. lol

Expert:  proexpert37 replied 3 years ago.
Hello and thank you for responding. First of all, I would like request that you visit your son's classroom on several occasions if you have not already to see exactly what is going on. Boys do tend to be a bit more aggressive than girls. However, you need to see how the teacher handles the behavior in the class for yourself and does she have any type of behavior management system in place. Also, your son may be toting out because he is frustrated and cannot use his words to express himself. Maybe he is being singled out and picked on by the teacher. The teacher needs to keep a watchful eye on your son and stop any problems before they escalate. Additionally, at your son's age, he is an observational learner. He has most likely seen other children wrestle and is simply imitating what he sees. As for his language development, do not worry so much until he turns about 2 years old. Then you may want to seek assistance from a speech therapist if he is not talking yet. So to ease your worries,you are not a bad parent and your son is not a bad child. When he misbehaves, tell him what he did wrong and what he should have done. Time outs are fine but they need to happen right after the misbehavior otherwise your son will not make the connection between what he did wrong at school and a time out at home. Your son's teacher is the main one who needs to get a handle on this situation.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

The nice thing about his daycare is that they have internet viewing, so I can see him any time from my desk. I have seen him have a fit and I've seen the teachers pick him up and cuddle him. I quickly put a stop to that and asked that they let him cry it out as long as he is safe and nothing is medically wrong. They actually tend to spoil him a little because they love his outgoing personality. I do believe they don't always catch him right as he's getting into the inappropriate behavior. Now that he knows he is doing it, they said they are keeping a closer eye.

As for being observational, I totally agree. I know the pacifier game he learned from me. But I'm not sure where he's observed the wrestling type behavior. As a single mom with no other children; I don't wrestle with him. We play and I tickle and cuddle him, but that is the extent of it.

I'm not very concerned about his speach. I actually think the jibberish might indicate he will begin talking more than a word at a time.

I explained to his teachers and the director of the daycare that unfortunately, he is at daycare more than he is with me (waking hours) and I need them to be firm and consistent. I expressed that as much as I like it there for my son, if they can't provide the right enviornment, I'll have to look for a new daycare. I'm just really surprised they don't have a better idea considering this is their area of expertise (or should be). My gut says that he is getting bored and isn't challenged, so he is expressing himself in this may. I've asked that he be moved to the next room, even though age-wise, he isn't quite there. Those children are closer in age, development, and size to my son and would be more than willing to interactively play.

Expert:  proexpert37 replied 3 years ago.
If your son can handle it, he may need to be moved to the next room. Oftentimes boredom leads to behavior problems. If in your heart you still have a feeling that things are not going in the right direction, maybe a change in schools is necessary.

Have a great day!
proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1374
Experience: Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
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