

Things you say that make you realise you're a Bad Mum!

(72 Posts)
BigFatGoalie Wed 22-Jan-14 20:38:34

In my mummy, happy voice I simply say:

"MiniBigFatGoalie, please give Mummy the knife..."

it did not happen twice...


BadChat25 Wed 22-Jan-14 20:44:15

Please don't eat out of the rubbish bin honey...



Iwannalaylikethisforever Wed 22-Jan-14 20:51:31


meanddog Wed 22-Jan-14 20:51:33

'Please don't share your biscuit with the dog'

On seeing DS alternating bites with the dog

MartinSheensTeeth Wed 22-Jan-14 20:54:14

'Your sister is not a tissue"

weeblueberry Wed 22-Jan-14 20:54:23

Please don't tongue the dog DD...

No mummy's boots aren't for chewing!

The cats bottom isn't for putting your finger in darling.

And that's just today... smile

Onesleeptillwembley Wed 22-Jan-14 20:58:33

I regularly said 'don't break your brother'.

FlatFacedArmy Wed 22-Jan-14 21:05:51

"We don't claw faces, darling."



BigFatGoalie Wed 22-Jan-14 21:17:26

These are hysterical!
and make me feel marginally better


StillaChocoholic Wed 22-Jan-14 21:18:52


BadChat25 Wed 22-Jan-14 21:19:27



Bluemonkeyspots Wed 22-Jan-14 21:22:09



It's no bloody wonder i drink

CassCade Wed 22-Jan-14 21:22:17



Pilgit Wed 22-Jan-14 21:23:57


JuniperHeartwand Wed 22-Jan-14 21:24:02

Why is this in AIBU OP?

Lariflete Wed 22-Jan-14 21:24:31

"DD don't step on your brother's face."
"DS, stop chewing mummy's coat"

bombolina Wed 22-Jan-14 21:24:50


MarlenaGru Wed 22-Jan-14 21:24:57


CassCade Wed 22-Jan-14 21:25:57


Pilgit Wed 22-Jan-14 21:26:32


WaitingForMe Wed 22-Jan-14 21:27:02


TheNightIsDark Wed 22-Jan-14 21:27:58


She's going through an I want to be a boy phase.

With DS1 it's

"Please don't lick the baby"
"No sweety we don't put scissors in our mouth"

fluterby Wed 22-Jan-14 21:29:15


CassCade Wed 22-Jan-14 21:30:46


bumblebeebzz Wed 22-Jan-14 21:35:42


he likes to lick things.

envy << vom.

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme Wed 22-Jan-14 21:37:28

If anybody had heard me in the garden when dd2 was about two; "come here you little shit!" blush

In my defence she was being a little turd and I wasn't well. I can still remember now what an awful day that was, topped off by my swearing at my two year old outside where the whole road must have heard me. sad

Alifelivedforwards Wed 22-Jan-14 21:38:36

These aren't examples of being a bad mum, they are examples of children being revolting little beggars <irrationally irritated>

VampyreofTimeandMemory Wed 22-Jan-14 21:38:57

"leave him alone! he's not a toy!" to ds1 about ds2.

3of5 Wed 22-Jan-14 21:39:11

Today I had to tell my son (2 years old)not to lick the Wheelie Bin.

I think the dog is an influence..

TheNightIsDark Wed 22-Jan-14 21:40:35

ilovemydog I told mine to fuck off and leave me alone once. It was 11pm, we had to be up at 6 to go to work/nursery, DP was being a cunt and I was pg with DS2. They hadn't gone to sleep, they'd trashed their bedrooms etc.

I still feel fucking ashamed as I shouted it. Since that day though it's never gotten that bad again.

TheNightIsDark Wed 22-Jan-14 21:44:48

I can't believe I admitted that. I think I need to nc.

Saltycopporn Wed 22-Jan-14 21:46:21

No .....No.... No................No sweets until you finish your crisps blush

Mishmashfamily Wed 22-Jan-14 21:49:43

"We don't claw faces"

"The baby doesn't want to wrestle"

grin belting !

FortyDoorsToNowhere Wed 22-Jan-14 21:51:27

DS leave my nipple alone, I was in bed with nothing on the top half and 1/2 asleep.

HellsGranny Wed 22-Jan-14 21:54:48

Leave Betty's (the cat) bum alone...

PoisonedApple Wed 22-Jan-14 21:59:20

Stop licking the baby! Why do they do that? So glad it's not just mine...

MoreLifeInATrampsVest Wed 22-Jan-14 21:59:50

Is that sand yum? I'd given in trying to stop him eating the sand pit after the 1000th mouthful and resorted to taking pictures whilst local yummy mummies looked on in horror. All good roughage I say wink

ceeveebee Wed 22-Jan-14 22:02:06

When we go to soft play or toddler groups I tell my 2 yo DS "no fighting, no biting, no hitting, no spitting" which is just a little jokey rhyme but if anyone heard me they'd think he was a little terror!!

DoJo Wed 22-Jan-14 22:02:22

Is that a screw you're eating, or a floor snack?

MrsBobHale Wed 22-Jan-14 22:04:18

"No you can't have an apple until you've finished that chocolate fudge cake!"

Background - I was sick of her asking for food then not eating it and immediately wanting something else.

jeanmiguelfangio Wed 22-Jan-14 22:04:50

Please don't eat gravel darling
We don't lick the buggy
And my personal fave that got me great looks at the baby group when paint may have got eaten- well at least it's non toxic.

jeanmiguelfangio Wed 22-Jan-14 22:06:00

Dojo I am so glad others have floor snacks!!

BigFatGoalie Wed 22-Jan-14 22:10:23

That's a fly, not a raisin...
Must sweep the floors more often

RalphGnu Wed 22-Jan-14 22:11:19

TheNightIsDark, I may have done that too.

TheFutureMrsB Wed 22-Jan-14 22:12:45

No, no, we don't lick cars do we ds3.

A regular thing said until he was about 3!!! And it wasn't even our car, it was any car in the street!

Lioninthesun Wed 22-Jan-14 22:18:02

"We don't share biscuits with the pigeons" - was literally retching after she wrestled it back from a group busily pecking away after she dropped half on the station floor. Dang she got it into her mouth fast! <boak>

KateSpade Wed 22-Jan-14 22:43:19

Whist on the phone, having a very serious conversation

'NO! they are not sweets, they is medicines'

'Put them down NOW'

'Stop wining'

Just as i had arrived at work, Nursery rang to say DD had a temperature of 39.8 and could i come and pick her up.


Mim78 Wed 22-Jan-14 22:54:09


Queenofthehill Wed 22-Jan-14 23:01:03


Queenofthehill Wed 22-Jan-14 23:01:40

Sorry, grin

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme Thu 23-Jan-14 12:35:36

TheNightIsDark you see, we're not alone. smile



wonderingsoul Thu 23-Jan-14 12:59:17

ds2 is a licker...


babyicebean Thu 23-Jan-14 13:19:26


bachsingingmum Thu 23-Jan-14 13:19:29



Guiltismymaster Thu 23-Jan-14 13:26:33

'Come out of the dishwasher'

MrsGarlic Thu 23-Jan-14 14:06:01



headinhands Thu 23-Jan-14 14:11:08


SupSlick Thu 23-Jan-14 14:41:14



candycoatedwaterdrops Thu 23-Jan-14 14:44:12

LOL at floor snack!

RufusTheReindeer Thu 23-Jan-14 14:45:28

"No tongues when you are kissing mummy"

He is 15

RufusTheReindeer Thu 23-Jan-14 14:47:15



Please don't ring SS!!!!!!!

notso Thu 23-Jan-14 15:27:26

So pleased others have floor snacks and dishwasher dwellers.


bodygoingsouth Thu 23-Jan-14 15:33:14



thanks dh darling.

MrsGarlic Thu 23-Jan-14 15:35:07


BigFatGoalie Thu 23-Jan-14 20:47:28

These are brilliant, am so glad I'm not alone!
This morning's gem:
"No darling, we don't eat the loo roll"

MartinSheensTeeth Fri 24-Jan-14 11:08:31




Ivytheterrible Fri 24-Jan-14 11:33:42

To 3yr old DD in McDonalds:

"No there aren't any vegetables - eat your cheeseburger"

notso Fri 24-Jan-14 11:42:59

Ha ha Ivytheterrible we have had similar conversations!

wonderingsoul Sat 25-Jan-14 11:07:19

ohh yes.. ivythe




odd children.

Felyne Sat 25-Jan-14 11:25:57


MissPryde Sat 25-Jan-14 11:38:32



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