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Why? (Cutting)

I have been cutting since I was the beginning I was just curious to see if the pain was all that bad, and if my hemophobia would be triggered by my own blood.I found that watching the solidly crimson blood flow,I was entranced. fascinated. After a while it wasn't watching the blood that got me going, it was the my eighth and ninth grade years I was profoundly addicted to my own pain.I lost friends over this, and eventually the scars overlapped causing the skin to numb.after the searing burning pain had subsided and only then did I realize I was An adrenaline junkie.I began to fight and smoke pot to get my fix.the light airy feeling I got from pot was almost as satisfying as the adrenaline fix I got with the razor blade, the danger and pain of every fight was exhilarating
Recently, the availability of marijuana has been eliminated so I have been cutting again, but I try not to, for him.
TheFoxHime TheFoxHime 13-15, F Feb 16, 2013

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