Haggle Your Way to a Better Bargain

Get good deals with these bargaining tips
September 30, 2009
Bargain hunters

When I told my friend Bryce I needed to buy a new mattress but couldn't afford the super high-end one I really wanted, he suggested I talk the sales guy down a grand. "You'd have to be an idiot to pay full price," he said. Case in point: He paid $1,900 for his $3,500 Silver Dream. Huh, I thought. I can haggle. The next day, I decided to make my own mattress deal. I had my eye on a similarly priced model-- a $3,400 Stearns & Foster-- and tried to convince the salesman to give it to me for $2,000. Then $2,500. Then $2,800. No matter what I did, he barely budged. The best he could do? $3,000.

As I turned to leave, he didn't follow me with a "Wait, maybe I can go lower," as I assumed he would. What's more, I could swear I heard him chuckle, as if he was shaking his head and thinking, "Silly girl." I walked out deflated--and pissed off. "Maybe you just didn't push hard enough," Bryce said when I shared my frustration.


"And maybe men just get better deals!" I shot back.

I had to wonder: Are women more likely to get screwed, no matter how great their bargaining prowess--or are men just better at it? It might be a little of both, says Carol Frohlinger, a New York City-based lawyer and negotiating expert and coauthor of Her Place at the Table. "For a lot of men, negotiating is the perfect challenge for a gender that's been groomed to be competitive," she says. "Plus, most salespeople expect men to haggle but not women."

Are you destined to pay full price? Hell, no. You can score good deals just by tweaking guys' haggling how-tos.

He exudes confidence
You may not even recognize your usually bashful guy when he's on the phone with the cable company after they've raised your rate. "Men often go into a bargaining situation with the attitude, 'If you want my business, you will help me out,' and in most cases, it works," Frohlinger says.

Your turn Be your usual pleasant self--to a point. Just as men are conditioned to compete, women learn to be likable. It's that drive toward niceness that undermines women when the bargaining needs to get down and dirty. But you can use your instinctual empathy to your advantage. For instance, if you notice another customer being rude to a salesperson, compensate for that by being really nice when it's your turn to ask for help. But even if you've established a friendly rapport, keep in mind that you probably won't be dealing with that particular salesperson again, so don't feel uncomfortable if it gets a little heated.

He channels his inner tech geek
When you think about the amount of time your guy spends looking at cars, electronics, and other gadgets online, it's no wonder he's able to snag great deals. He's more likely to know the going price for whatever it is he's shopping for and sniff out someone who's trying to rip him off.

Your turn Cram like you did for final exams. You might consider scrubbing the mold out of the shower grout more fun than scouring Consumer Reports, but doing your homework will help you know what's worth top dollar and what's not. "Some car salesmen believe women shoppers are ignorant about the car business, and they'll try to take advantage of that," says Michael Royce, founder of beatthecarsalesman.com. So make those unenlightened sales guys do a double take. Simply check out a few websites for crucial pieces of information (like the invoice price and true market value of a car) that will arm you with enough info to know if someone's trying to pull a fast one on you.

He turns getting a deal into a game
Maybe it's his hunter lineage or that passion for competition, but when your man scores a deep discount, odds are he'll beam like he did when his team clinched the World Series. Why? Because it means he won.

Your turn Have some fun trying to get a bargain. If you think of negotiating as a challenge rather than something to dread, you'll be more likely to keep trying until you succeed. Also, remember that you've got the upper hand in these situations (read: you can choose who you're up against). Not psyched about the sales guy who's talking to your boyfriend instead of you--even though you're the one plunking down the plastic? Ask to work with someone else. "One of the reasons women get ripped off is that we spend some time with a salesman, and then we feel reluctant to walk away," says Joanne Helperin, a senior editor for edmunds.com, a review, rating, and advice site for car shoppers. "Men are more likely to vote with their feet and leave if they sense they're not going to come out on top. You should, too."