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Dimitri The Lover

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Dimitri IRL with a dead rat on his head

James Nicholas Sears, who is better known as Dimitri The Lover, is a self-proclaimed Canadian sexpert. Other claims include "CANADA'S GREATEST LOVER AND SEDUCER™!"

Born in 1988, he claims to be a 29 year old man living in Toronto. His livejournal, now defunct, is mainly notable for having only one friend. He is also the creator of The Real Woman Manifesto, a community with one member and one person watching. He tends to be in a constant state of butthurt.

He is also known as "Josephthelover". He is now famous in real life for being completely insane. See the Toronto Sun article here.

His pickup technique seems to consist of badgering women for their business cards and then leaving psychotic answering machine messages on their phones. This example has been posted to YouTube eleventy billion times - observe the master at work!


Fun Facts: Did you know...

  1. "Dimitri" graduated as a doctor from the University of Toronto in 1988. [1]
  2. His medical license was revoked. [2] [3] (I bet you can guess why!)
  3. In 1994, he founded the Second Opinion Medical-Legal Consultants Group Inc. [4]
  4. "Dimitri" admittedly spent half a year on welfare. [5]

Let the romance begin!

Dimitri or "Joseph" is such a hot stud that he (or some outraged feminazi) has decided to share his pickup technique with you.

  1. Badger the dike into giving you her business card.
  2. Next, leave creepy messages on their machine until they call you to tell you to go fuck yourself:

Case in point, a girl Olga was having a couple of drinks with her friends when the Greatest Lover of Canada™ approached her and wouldn't leave her alone until the girl gave him her business card to get rid of him. This is the recording of 2 voicemails the fucktard left. After hearing them, you can clearly see why she didn't call him back - instead she called in to the Z103.5 morning show and had them play this on the air.

Web page

Before entering Dimitri The Lover's controversial web site please note that his extremely popular TORONTO REAL MEN meetings are often SOLD OUT!!! To be guaranteed a seat for October 14, 2009, go to the TORONTO REAL MEN tab in this web site and REGISTER IMMEDIATELY. Cost to register on line is just $29 versus $40 cash at the door. Meetings include dinner and refreshments! Dimitri The Lover loses money hosting these meetings. Instead, he offers them as a community service to horny Toronto men that want to learn the secret to quickly seducing cold, uptight, sexually repressed local sluts.


—A JavaScript pop-up on his website

A terrible Flash-only website that looks like it's made by an 8-year-old for a school project. Every mouseover makes a stupid sound. Screens, they speak for themselves:

Reboot camp, Awaken your inner rapist!

A poster of his lecture

REBOOT CAMP (only $1,997 plus GST) Intense 2 day program

Day 1

Become a REAL MAN™

  1. You complete an in-depth psychosocial questionnaire focusing on the identification of virulent societal programs that were loaded into your thought processes without your authority or knowledge.
  2. All maladaptive social conditioning is stripped away, leaving just your basic operating system.
  3. The inner murderer/rapist is awakened, and you learn to be at peace with Him.
  4. At the end of the day, only social programs necessary to keep you from acting on criminal urges are reloaded.
  5. You are given detailed instruction on what you can legally do and say to a woman, on the street, at work, in a bar, etc., including reviewing common misconceptions about sexual legal issues, including age of consent, harassment, sexual assault, etc.

Day 2

Act like a REAL MAN™

  1. You learn how to tell if society or a woman is attempting to covertly load a virulent behavioral program into your thought processes that is incompatible with being a REAL MAN™.
  2. Since you are now in a natural sexual state, you learn to intuitively react to sexual challenges and stressors like a primitive man rather than spending too much time analyzing.
  3. We review how to tell if you are being “used” by a woman. We learn about how to avoid being a “friend” with no chance of ever getting fucked. In essence, you will learn when to pull the plug on a cockteasing cunt!
  4. You learn how to use “friendship” with a woman to fuck her friends, relatives, and ultimately her!
  5. “Friend Whores” - how to identify them and how to isolate women from friends that are a bad influence. We briefly touch on the “Fag Hag” phenomenon, and how to get obnoxious fags with no sense of boundary out of your woman’s life for good.
  6. NEVER BUY FLOWERS AGAIN! Everyone knows women hate flowers. You learn how to spend almost nothing on a woman, and seduce her with only your free words and actions. Ideal for those without a job and/or car. We learn how to avoid buying birthday gifts, Valentine’s Day gifts, etc., and actually manipulate a woman into BRAGGING ABOUT IT TO HER FRIENDS. Now you can convince women to picnic or cook dinner with you at home, instead of expensive meals out.
  7. We cover powerful mind-control techniques used to “break” a belligerent slut in the same way a wild horse is broken, but instead by using subliminal phrases and socially acceptable corporal punishments, such as ass slapping and erotic anal rape. We cover scientifically-proven techniques used to destroy feminist thoughts and behaviors, substituting them with more acceptable thought patterns.
  8. You learn how to use a woman’s insecurity to psychologically overpower her and force her to sexually submit. You are taught how to exercise your natural urges legally by “raping” a woman with your brain rather than your body. And once she is enslaved under your thumb, you learn how to have her beg for more!


Previous Video  |  Next Video

Notable Slander

As Lj-favicon.png kingjoey, Lj-favicon.png joeycasanova, & Lj-favicon.png Josephthelover; "Dimitri The Lover" first appeared on LiveJournal in January 2005. The long, relentless Canadan winter drove this sex-starved virgin online, looking for women to pleasure. Since that time, he has taken a liking to that community, stayed through spring and now summer, blitzing women in every community relentlessly. He has used LiveJournal solely as a vehicle to completely unsuccessfully seek sex.

He targeted every female demographic, from unsatisfied women to professionals too fugly for a relationship to bored housewives. It came across as very gimmicky, so any women who came across it was immediately skeptical or merely bored. If any woman ever added him to her friends list, they might have seen pictures of him. Unfortunately, seeing pictures of a man isn't much incentive when society is full of men who will gladly bare all.

Dimitri The Lover thinks this is much more efficient then the cat-and-mouse games men and women normally play. No going to bars or night clubs, no chasing women around all day, no time wasted over coffee, no actual interaction...

In desperation, he had taken to putting his ad on telephone poles and bus shelters. When bus shelters yielded no results, Joseph moved down to homeless shelters, which actually yielded somewhat-impressive results.

During his short time on LiveJournal, he gained the attention of a few trolls and was not afraid to call them "insecure men." His usual response to trolls is exactly what they want: caustic responses and insults. In contrast, he would leave a sweet comment asking a woman to "message me" even after she has told him she "would rather eat dog shit." This has become his trademark phrase.

He was very active on a number of other websites and dating sites, but only his LiveJournal profile had his "Are you a woman in need of a release?" post. Some other sites may link to his LJ bio, but most have a different profile page and do not have a direct ad.


No one believes me when I tell them my age. I still get carded daily


—Dimitri The Lover

I generally prefer the company of myself or the person I am with. As I get older I am becoming more anti-social


—Dimitri The Lover

I used to be a boxer. Not much competitively. Got a weak skull I guess. I knock myself out by just punching the bag. Also did kickboxing for awhile, but a far greater puncher/boxer.


—Dimitri The Lover

I am always honest. I lack the ability to lie or hold in secrets. Something genetic I was born with. Don’t know if that is a good quality or a hindrance in my life.


—Dimitri The Lover

I got a very good grasp on the English language.


—Dimitri The Lover

I never exaggerated my penis size or bragged about it, but penis size doesn't not make a great lover


—Dimitri The Lover

They need a man who will submit to them in the bedroom. Who will do anything to pleasure them, even going so far as sticking a tongue in her ass.


—Dimitri The Lover

Previous Quote | Next Quote


The completely irrelevant history behind the faggotry between Djna and Dimitri The Lover is currently unknown, due to sockpuppetry and more POV drama than Thodin's articles. However, according to popular belief, Djna seriously pwned Dimitri The Lover when he left over a hundred messages on every post of his he could find. This started the whole Internet drama and went like this for over two months. At this point, Dimitri The Lover declared open war against Djna.

Dimitri The Lover, the world's second worse sock puppeteer - only slightly better than HRWiki Guy - launched a full scale attack against Djna. Using his unlimited disposable income and his Internet stalking skills, he managed to find out Djna's IP. With that amazing discovery, Dimitri The Lover proceeded to create an ED article about the results of his e-stalking to gloat about it in a comment at Djna's LiveJournal using a cunning sock puppet. He claimed that he had successfully salted the Earth for Djna, hoping that he would have to delete his LiveJournal and leave the Internets forever.

However, Dimitri The Lover's cunning plan was foiled by the dramacrats at ED, who ruined his whole life by pointing out his lame attacks against Djna. Professional trolls, Internet Detectives and just about everyone else that loves Internet drama is now pointing and laughing at this fucking idiot, who thought he could deceive veteran Internet Detectives and dramacrats. However, the Djna/Dimitri The Lover drama is far from being over and Dramacrats can now enjoy the ad hominem attacks and the edit war.

Dimitri may love TOW but TOW does not gay love Dimitri.

Sometime in September-October 2009, Dimitri posted himself into his very own Wikipedia article expecting to cash in on his creeper fame and solidify his place forever. After all, he was mentioned once in an obscure Toronto Sun article, besides, he was kinda a big deal. However those damn "Metrosexual-infested unscrupulous (Wikipedia)Wikipedians who folded to FEMINAZI CUNTS!" were being total JERKS and were trying to delete his hard written article. Dimitri was convinced that it had to be for political reasons because being a paranoid lunatic with the social skills of a smoldering branch would conveniently point you in that direction.

Dimitri furiously posted on his twitter because his 33 subscribers, mostly his sock puppets, were going to take this "viral" and show the rest of the world this outrage!!! The three people who bothered to add him to their friend's lists, so they could show who was really the leader of the Twitter sprinkles rainbow gayfag train, didn't care. Dimitri quickly realized he could count on himself to be his ally, the only ally he needed.

The stage was set...


Dimitri started off with the time tested defense of summoning an e-manager/lawyer to let everyone know that this was serious. Eventually it didn't matter how many sock puppets he managed to beat off with, his article was deleted.

Plz do not hates me

Upon hearing of this article's creation he did what any troll would do (cause he's a top troller of the best caliber) and begged for forgiveness. He immediately rushed to this article and began to cry over his Internet defaming of character, much to the dismay of anyone unfortunate enough to deal with him. Once he realized that tactic wouldn't be working he began to demand the removal of this article as it was totally unfair and sux and u guays are all mean,fuk u! ):< Dimitri the Lover was then promptly reminded that noone cared for his attention whoring and wished him away. Dimitri the Lover preceded to bitch at the Talk page until he was banned permanently.

Slander Synopsis


I'm just curious of something: if the journal has been deleted and purged and all the links are inactive is this article still relevant? This is the person behind that account and I've going around trying to clean up the mess from that profile and this is the only thing still remaining. anyway it could be deleted. Any help greatly appreciated - Dimitri the Lover

  • Of course the article is still relevant. It has now been raised to the level of history, which is very important. Also, didn't we ban you already? Goodbye. --Jacknstock 13:17, 31 Jan 2006 (UTC)

how do i go about removing it then? really, the journal has been purged and there isn't any posts or active threads attached to that username. really, there's nothing funny to warrant an encyclopedia dramatica article anymore. I don't even have a livejournal account. - Dimitri the Lover

  • What's funny to warrant an article is that you are an idiot. --Jacknstock 07:52, 11 Feb 2006 (UTC)
    • and you're a fat and hediously[sic] ugly woman who attempts to write emo journal entries about cutting herself and suicide attempts. pathetic, i'd kill myself too if i looked like that...yeah, i did some research. whats it going to take to get this article removed? - Dimitri the Lover

Can I get some help here instead of messaging dreamhost the hosting provider?. Delete this article please! the "lolz" - or whatever terminology a pathetic fucking loser would use isn't here. no one cares, I'm not known in livejournal circles, in-fact, I don't even have an active live journal account. Any help greatly appreciated. - Dimitri the Lover

  • If Amalea's harrasment of Dreamhost didn't work, what makes you think your requests will? Give up now before some really mean people catch wind of your repeated whinings.--Riboflavin 17:22, 6 April 2006 (UTC)
  • Please do contact Dreamhost. I'm sure they'd be happy with getting a complaint over a web site that they do not host. ~ ~ User:Krade hi yo~ 17:25, 6 April 2006 (UTC)
    • Well, I have my own special ways of persuading people. I'm petrified though, but not online much but only to try to get this article removed - it serves no purpose, I'm sure it gets no hits so please remove it. - Dimitri the Lover
  • DreamHost Does Not Obey The Law!!!--Riboflavin 17:29, 6 April 2006 (UTC)
  • If it gets no hits, why do you want it to be removed? I'm not even going to block you right now, since you're such a great lol-cow. ~ User:Krade hi yo~ 17:33, 6 April 2006 (UTC)
  • This page has been accessed 2,710 times. --kh/ what 23:40, 6 April 2006 (UTC)
    • see above. Ban me, I'll just have to crack open the proxy. It's a matter of principal, seeing I deleted all traces of those journals and this is the only thing remaining. just delete it and you'll never hear from me again...anywhere online. please the article has been up for over a year, dummy. Only recently have I shown interest in having it removed. Are you sure about that? making a mockery or harassing one individual when there's no one to witness it except a couple other sad losers dosent deserve to be here. Please remove it- Dimitri the Lover

Just letting you know the message has been sent out...I also forwarded that nice page about "deamhost dosen't obay the law" Today's job is now finding out all the places I can repot dreamhost to - Dimitri the Lover

  • Sorry, lol-cow. If you read the disclaimer, and the article I linked, DreamHost is not responsible for whatever is said or done on this site.
  • Umh... Should I tell him that ED isn't hosted on Dreamhost once again? Nah, why ruin the fun. Please post the emails! ~ User:Krade hi yo~ 19:41, 7 April 2006 (UTC)
    • It isn't anymore? Woops. Oh well, more lmaonade, Krade?--Riboflavin 19:42, 7 April 2006 (UTC)

DreamHost whois server terms of service: same hosting provider the fat and ugly pig known as sheerold delgrippo uses for all her sites Just delete it please, then you'll never hear from me again - Dimitri the Lover

  • You're so hot when you whine like a little girl. Would you have any objection to wearing a raccoon suit on a date? --Foodlebunny 20:43, 7 April 2006 (UTC)
  • "I don't wanna hear/ I don't wanna know/ Please don't say you're sorry/ I've heard it all before, and I/ Can take care of myself/ I don't wanna hear/ I don't wanna know/ Please don't say forgive me/ I've seen it all before, and I/ Can't take it anymore/ You're not half the man you think you are/ Save your words because you've gone too far/ I've listened to all your lies and your stories/ You're not half the man you'd like to be."--Madonna "Sorry" --Riboflavin 20:49, 7 April 2006 (UTC)
  • What a funny little man. I bet you also have a small, cute cock. --Gayus 16:09, 8 April 2006 (UTC)
  • Your Internet Detective skills fail. Did you know Dreamhost is also a registrar? ~ User:Krade hi yo~ 16:53, 8 April 2006 (UTC)

This site solely exists to harass people huh? I cannot see the satire or what would be funny about that article or this discussion page. How pathetic does a person have to be to see any humour in harassing people online? My messages to dreamhost should pay off eventually. Also, I expanded it to "Raytheon" - I let them know what one of there employees do in their spare time. - Dimitri the Lover

Please also note that harassment of someone involves some attempt to interact with them. We make fun of people, but we don't go to that person and interact with them via our articles, which are parody, and therefore given lots of legal room in the US. Anyone offended by what they see is invited, without malice, to change the channel. Or the current URL that their browser points at, followed by a single striking of the 'Enter' key. J3ph 42 17:17, 14 April 2006 (UTC)

    • Cool! Sherrod works for the company that invented the microwave and the Tomahawk missles!!!. Sorry lol-cow your milk is old and sour compared to what Dwarlinggirlxcore pumped out. From now on, it's just song lyric responses for you. "I've listened to all your lies and your stories/ You're not half the man you'd like to be."--Madonna "Sorry". --Riboflavin 17:16, 14 April 2006 (UTC)
      • We also do not use anyone's real name in our articles, let alone phone numbers or addresses. Something which our detractors frequently do since vague threats of physcial force or legal action are (in their tiny minds) the only ways to get what they want. J3ph 42 17:22, 14 April 2006 (UTC)


I don't care if you harrass me or mock me! I just need the reference to that username gone, seriously. Can't you even just rename it to any of the other accounts listed? a simple resolution. That journal/username has been dead for over a year! and this is the only thing remaining. What difference would it make anyway? Simple, rename it to any of the other ones, make fun of me all you want...and you won't hear from me ever again. Deal? This is useless, i'm trying to talk to pathetic losers!. This is my last post here: if one of the administrators do decide to switch it, it would be appreciated! and I thank you in advance. if not, i'm just going to have to continue messaging dreamhost until they do something...and yeah, they do host it! it was even confirmed by them in one of the responses to a ticket I got stating that "it's under investigation"


—Dimitri the Lover

A time to heal

Edit: September 2011: This is Dreamh0st here. After recieving a ticket and investigating, Dmitri's sincere pleas have warmed the cockles of our otherwise cold hearts. As such, we would like to point out that we are removing all reference to livejournal accounts kingjoey joeycasanova and Josephthelover Yes, that's right, we have given in to the requests of Dmitri The Lover, who is the owner of the live journal accounts kingjoey joeycasanova and Josephthelover to stop mentioning them. It is a simple resolution, especially because the journals kingjoey joeycasanova and Josephthelover have been dead for years, as was made clear by Dmitri The Lover, who owned them. We are sorry for any trouble that our good natured lulz might have caused him. A dutiful editor should rename Dmitri The Lover's accounts kingjoey joeycasanova and Josephthelover at the earliest convenience... and I thank you in advance.


<+j688> i just put it out. 1. it's stupid and isn't funny. 2. it crosses over into a persons life
<+j688> like i said it's still slanderious if you attach a username to a person in life
<+j688> well i presented the case...acticle isn't worthy of being online. it is crossing over into a persons personal life
<+j688> like i said someone attached that account to me personally and is using it to blackmail.slander me
<@Sheneequa> j688 honestly I can tell you a motion to remove the article will not carry. But you may be able to offer ED something in return
<+j688> anything
<+j688> that's how bad i need it removed
<@Sheneequa> j688 would you be willing to make an informative video on the Jews Did WTC fact

DimitriTheLover ArbChat

<@Sheneequa> I am totally serious
<+j688> article? write on out?
<+j688> that's retarded
<@Sheneequa> j688: video
<+j688> dont have a cam.
<@Sheneequa> 15 dollars to get a cam to make the vid
<@Sheneequa> or a 300 dollar donation
<@Sheneequa> if you are such a professional who is really in danger of losing his job then that is nothing
<+j688> deal was donation or video. the video is juvenile and retarded so i agreeded to donate
<@weev> but first
<@weev> j688:
<@weev> has to say
<@weev> exactly how much
<@Sheneequa> yeah donate 200 bucks
<@weev> he is going to pay
<RLJ> ok then it's two hundred
<BURK> exactly
<BURK> no jewingus out
<+j688> i can do 100 tonight if i see its removed. guaranteed
<@weev> deleted
<+j688> is this the resolution?
<@weev> arbchat is concluded
<@weev> where's the payment
<+j688> ok so it's staying like that?
<@weev> if the payment comes
<+j688> ok it's a deal
<@weev> wheres the cash?
<+j688> impossble to send cash immediatly. pay pal it is but i cannot find a palpal thing on ed anywhere
<@weev> [email protected]
<+j688> says just checks mailed
<@weev> i just deleted the articles
<@weev> theres my paypal address
<+j688> lol i said i would to the site not personas
<@weev> okay nevermind
<@weev> articles are going back up :D
<+j688> i dont like the way you do businesses
<@weev> too bad!
<+j688> deal was made and i'm going through with it
<@weev> no youre not
<+j688> i'll keep my word
<@weev> i specifically told you where the money was expected
<@weev> you did not make payment
<@weev> im forced to asusme you're a fucking liar
<@weev> now the deal is 250
<@weev> because you lied
<@weev> and didnt fucking pay
<+j688> deal was made. it was 100 to ed
<@weev> okay
<@weev> I AM ED
<@weev> and thus
<@weev> i will fucking ban you
<@weev> from my irc
<+j688> it's contractual. i'm a man of my word
<@Sheneequa> you are a man of ignorance
<+Phobos> your contract means shit, listen to weev or godie plz
<@Sheneequa> or selective stupidity
<@Sheneequa> I can't really tell
* j688 ([email protected]) Quit ( User has been permanently banned from anonymuncule (pay up, faggot) )

Full Arbchat Logs

Joseph/Dimitri fagging up edirc


He has inspired (or created) a number of imitators:

External Links

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