The Swiss are coming! The Swiss are coming!

Follow on Twitter
on July 09, 2007 at 8:24 AM, updated July 09, 2007 at 8:50 AM
Miss New Jersey is being blackmailed? It's forever amazing that someone cares about a sash and a tiara enough to blackmail someone else. There was a fight after an automobile race, and there should probably be more of that. Especially when a driver's father gets involved.

"He needs his dad to defend him, which I think is totally wrong," Tony Kanaan said.

Here, here.

But I think the real issue this morning is just how the Swiss are slowly taking over the world.

They've got the Americas Cup. A Swiss rider took the prologue of the Tour de France. Roger Federer won his fifth straight Wimbledon title yesterday.

And that's how it starts. First they dominate the sports we don't pay attention to. Then they start to win things we pretend to care about, because they're things that make us feel cultured.

We'll smugly discuss Federer at dinner parties. "Did you know he has a second home in Dubai? Yes, it's all the rage these days." We'll show off our knowledge of European geography. "Did you know the Tour de France began in London this year? London's not in France."

We'll be distracted when a team from Switzerland will win the Super Bowl. We'll never see it coming.

They'll come over here with their cheese and their chocolate and their Army's knives and we'll welcome them, because, hey, they're neutral. Then they'll win the Super Bowl.

This is why Congress and the President need to get together on immigration reform. This is why we need our borders secured, to stop Switzerland from winning the Super Bowl.