What's Up With This Weird Feeling In My Stomach?

by Ellie DeLano | Comments

Okay, confession time. 

Deep breath. Let it out. Here we go.

I believe I have a crush on someone. At least, I think that's what this is. I'm thinking about him a lot. Not crazy amounts, mind you. But more than usual. And I get weird feelings in my tummy when I do. Butterflies. 

Can I tell you how many years it's been since I've had butterflies? Seriously.

And it's not really a huge deal because honestly, he's not someone that's relationship material for a variety of logistical reasons (nothing about him personally - he's terrific) so a crush is pretty much all there can ever be. 

But still....it's such a revelation to feel butterflies again. You cannot know. It's like I'm suddenly realizing (courtesy of crush guy) that there are options out there. Possibilities. And I can feel this way again. And again, if I want to. 

I can let myself feel attracted and intrigued and interested and hopeful. I can let myself wonder what it would be like to kiss someone new for the first time in a quarter of a century. That's mind-boggling, isn't it? It is for me, at least. And all these newly-blossoming interesting feelings and possibilities are flooding me and I feel like - well, like I'm waking up, for lack of a better term. Does that make sense?

When did you realize you were getting interested "romantic possibility" again? Was it a gradual thing? Or did you have a crush that sort of brought it into focus?