The answer to that annoying riddle

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"Which player has played in all of the following derby matches: AC Milan v Inter Milan, Arsenal v Chelsea, Liverpool v Everton, Real Madrid v Athletico Madrid, Borusia Dortmund v Borusia Moenchengladbach," asks Andy Hill and countless others. Incessantly. All day, every day.

The most asked question in the history of The Knowledge bar none, you've mailed in this query-doing-the-rounds in your droves (now please stop), but not one single person has come up with the name of the player in question yet. Why? Well, it's simple: no such player exists. It's a trick question devised by some sadistic fiend who clearly gets his rocks off watching the demented minds of football trivia buffs slowly unravel.

However, a couple of our more astute readers have been kind enough to point out why exactly it is that no player could ever have played in all of the aforementioned derby matches. Again, it's simple. You see, they're not all derbies. Over to you Peter Malik ...

"I can't see any point in calling the game between Borussia Dortmund and Borussia Moenchengladbach a derby," he says, taking up the cudgels. "It has never been a derby and it never will be. Traditionally, derby opponents of Dortmund include Schalke 04 and Bochum, while Moenchengladbach play their derbies against Cologne and Leverkusen."

Jim Nicholson backs up the claim, explaining that if Dortmund v Moenchengladbach is a derby match then Stoke v Coventry must be one too, because they both have the word "City" in their names.

And finally, even with the word 'derby' expunged from the question, we're still buggered if we can find any player who has played in all five fixtures. We are, however, grudgingly prepared to stand corrected if anyone else can name one. And no, it was not Mario Stanic, Nicolas Anelka, Raul or Andrei Shevchenko. Trust us, we've checked all your suggestions so far.


"I once saw a Danish footballing film late at night during the 70's," says TW Cheung. "It was very strange and involved the Danish legend Allan Simonsen being targeted by a sniper during a football game. Anyone know the name of this film?"

We had a deluge of answers to this question, which was a great relief because none of us could understand why anyone would want to assassinate the former Charlton striker. To a man and woman, you agreed that the name of the 1977 Danish turkey in question is Skytten, although English translations varied between The Marksman, The Sniper and, in one instance, The Gamekeeper.

However, we feel obliged to point out that Allan Simonsen being targeted by Jens Okking's villain isn't actually the focus of the movie. "It's about a man who misinterprets remarks made by a journalist who says that force may be necessary to keep Denmark nuclear-free, so he starts shooting everyone, including our beloved, curly-haired midget," explains David "Barry Norman" Tiemroth.

Not content with spoiling the plot for you, we're also happy to let Nikolaj Steen Møller reveal how the scene in question was filmed: "The director got Simonsen to lie completely still for a few seconds after attempting a header in an actual international," he explains. "Then they added blood to the pictures afterwards. Simonsen was up for it, and so was Danish commentator Svend Gehrs, who added 'stunned' commentary to the movie's soundtrack."

For a review of Skytten and more info on it's unlikely star, click here and here.


"Can you help with this?" asks Peyter Corner. "My dad has a medal that he found among my late grandfather's possessions after he died. The medal says Byron Cup winners 1911-12 on the back and on the front Derbyshire & Chesterfield FA. He'd love to know more about it."

"Don't your correspondents know how to use Google?" harrumphs a grumpy Alan Fisher. "A quick search for Byron Cup reveals that it is a competition for amateur teams in the Nottinghamshire/Derbyshire area.

As far back as the first world war, teams like Mansfield Wesley (who later became Mansfield Town and gained entry to the Football League) were winning it. It's still in existence, although the quality of the teams seems to have declined over the years. For instance, GTS Plumbing & Heating beat Mosborough Trinity 4-3 in the first round on January 4 this year. It doesn't exactly get the blood racing, does it? Unfortunately, I can't find any trace of who won it in 1912, the year when Peyter's grandfather was a winner."


"I recently heard, that in Argentinia, teams don´t switch the direction of play after half-time," says Christian Schuh. "That means they play towards the same end for 90 minutes. It is supposedly because of a Chilavert incident a couple years ago. Apparently they consider it too risky having the away-team goalkeeper play in front of the home supporters' end. Is this true? If so, surely it's not compliant with Fifa rules, is it?"

Like Humphrey Bogart going to Casablanca for its waters, Christian, you've been misinformed. Allow Tunnard Kerman to explain why: "In all Argentine League games, the teams change over at half-time like everywhere else. However, a few years ago, when Paraguay goalkeeper Jose Luis Chilavert played for Velez Sarsfield he was not well-liked by opposing fans, who frequently threw fireworks at him. This caught on, and soon every goalkeeper was being pelted with Roman Candles.

"The players formed a union and reached an agreement with referees whereby if any missiles were thrown on to the pitch, the match would automatically be suspended and replayed behind closed doors.

"The idea of not switching over at half-time was discussed, but it never actually happened," Mr Kerman. "Instead, in high risk matches such as derbies and League deciders, the goalkeeper is always in front of the opposing fans in the first half, then his own fans in the second half."

Can you help?

"Whilst watching Manchester United v Chelsea here in Sicily, the commentator came out with a fact that 2-1 is the most common final score in football. This lead to three ex-pats scratching their heads," says Trevor Goode (on behalf of John Bonnar and Stuart Irvine). "Our belief is that 1-0 is the most frequent outcome a football match. Who is right?"

"Which, if any, footballer has picked up winners' medals in all major English and European competitions? For example, has any footballer got winners' medals for FA Cup, League Cup, League championship (EPL or its predecessor), Champions league (or European Cup), Cup-Winners Cup and Uefa Cup?" asks Ray Chen.

"Regarding the Boxing Day match against Oxford, I note from the Bournemouth official website that: "The Marcus Browning sending off was his fourth red card in his last five games," says an impressed James Holleyhead. Can anyone beat it?

"Was Danny Dichio's hat trick for West Brom against Bradford the quickest in FA Cup history? (the earliest time for the third goal?)" asks Richard Tart. "And if not, who holds the record?"
