3 year old wandering around alone

(28 Posts)
Onetraumaatatimeplease Wed 06-Nov-13 19:53:52

Hi all, really need some advice. I arrived at school this afternoon at 3 (schooldays officially finishes at 3:15) to collect my 2 DS. I park on the main car park on the junior side of the school and started to walk round to nursery where my 3 year old is as they normally let the infants out a little earlier. As I was on my way up the path (round the corner and well out of sight of the nursery classrooms) I walked straight into my heartbroken 3 year old. He was all alone. And distraught. Luckily I had gotten there before he got out of the school grounds. I put him in the car and calmed him and took both boys home. How do I handle this tomorrow at school. Yesterday whilst I was waiting the teacher sent one little girl to a man who then walked back to the classroom and asked if he could pick his own daughter up not somebody else's. Wtaf. The teachers in the nursery are lovely but this is serious isn't it? When I think what "could of" happened it makes me feel sick. DH is fit to bust and wants to go to the school tomorrow but he has no tact or diplomacy chip but I am really non confrontational and passive. To put things into perspective I do not like the head at all this stems from when she was a teacher and my SN daughter attended. My eldest son has been sent to her on many occasions one of his crimes being "he forgot his pe tshirt". Any advice at all anyone?

Madlizzy Wed 06-Nov-13 19:56:44

Yes. Let your husband go in. This is a massive safeguarding issue. Did you not go to the classroom and tell them that you had your child? If not, then they should have reported him as missing and made phonecalls. Tact and diplomacy go out of the window when someone fucks up this badly.

Onetraumaatatimeplease Wed 06-Nov-13 20:04:09

No I didn't go to the classroom, I was trying to calm the little one down and I was was fuming. I too wondered why no one from the school had called me. I actually don't think that they had noticed him going. That's disgraceful isn't it?

Onetraumaatatimeplease Wed 06-Nov-13 20:21:50

What I need is some advice on what to do tomorrow. Should I speak to the teacher? Should I go direct to the head?

I think you and dh should go show you mean business and go straight to head or depute.

defineme Wed 06-Nov-13 20:25:48

Send your dh.This is not a situation that needs a passive/diplomatic approach. This is a situation which needs someone to go absolutely ballistic at the people who endangered your child's life-what if he's got to a road?

MrsHende Wed 06-Nov-13 20:28:45

This is horrendous.

You should both go straight to the head tomorrow, and let DH kick up a stink.

Selks Wed 06-Nov-13 20:29:08

Wow that's terrible. If your DH does not get a satisfactory response (i.e. they need to take it VERY seriously) then I would be on the phone to Ofsted. They don't appear to be safeguarding the children.

bundaberg Wed 06-Nov-13 20:29:29

yes i would go straight to the head.

i would also report to ofsted. you've had this experience yourself, and also seen them happily send of a child with the wrong person. this has GOT to be sorted

bundaberg Wed 06-Nov-13 20:30:19

i mean really... not only did they have no idea where he was right then, they didn't even realise that you hadn't come to pick him up.... or they'd have rung you!

hettienne Wed 06-Nov-13 20:32:20

What? So no one from his nursery class even knows if you collected your DS or not?

I would be straight on to the council and Ofsted as well as raising hell at the school!

EugenesAxe Wed 06-Nov-13 20:35:32

I complete agree with Madlizzy - I think they should count themselves lucky to receive anything like tact and diplomacy! Do not worry yourself about that side of things - only about getting a satisfactory outcome.

I'd go to the Council (or whoever funds them) and Ofsted regardless of what they say they will do. Third parties need to be aware of this. Sorry repeating bunda's advice.

I am so cross on your behalf and very pleased your family came to no harm!

Flicktheswitch Wed 06-Nov-13 20:38:06

Fucking hell they didn't contact you to check you had him???

Onetraumaatatimeplease Wed 06-Nov-13 20:38:13

Thanks for all the replies. He was distraught he just kept saying "you come back for me" over and over. I just keep thinking if I hadn't walked round the corner right when I did there could've been a very different outcome. I'm also worried that if we go in all guns blazing this might be taken out on my boys.

Reality Wed 06-Nov-13 20:41:24

I can't get over the fact that not only did they lose him out of the building, th ey have no idea where he is now and haven't contacted you to say he's missing! So many links in the chain that have fallen through. Please call ofsted immediately, they need closing down urgently.

OnaPromise Wed 06-Nov-13 20:42:07

I'm quite passive, but i would go ballistic about this.

Madlizzy Wed 06-Nov-13 20:45:17

Believe me, if you go in all guns blazing you'll only be doing good for the school and the rest of the pupils. You do need to contact Ofsted and also the school governors. As I said, this is a massive safeguarding issue and that school will have their arse hauled over the coals big time. Write a letter tonight and cc it to all of the above, keep the children off school tomorrow if you're able to find someone to take care of them and inform the head that you will be in to see them at xxxx time and don't take no for an answer.

hettienne Wed 06-Nov-13 20:45:59

Did any of the staff actually see you at all OP? Or did they just look round and notice your DS was gone and just assume you must have picked him up confused

Shente Wed 06-Nov-13 20:46:56

Please call Ofsted - this makes me want to cry with the 'what could have bappened"s I think I would be inclined to find a different nursery and keep him off until you have - I know this could cause you childcare problems but I just couldn't trust them to look after my child after this.

Mintyy Wed 06-Nov-13 20:49:22

Well its great that bumped into him before he left the school grounds. Is there a locked gate or anything like that which would stop him getting out?

Kyrptonite Wed 06-Nov-13 20:50:46

Jesus Christ. Phone ofsted and find a proper nursery as this one sounds like a joke.
Serious safeguarding issues and from what you've said it sounds like the staff couldn't give a shit.

TheCricketWidow Wed 06-Nov-13 20:51:37

My god, how could that happen?
Go to the head, contact the chair of governors and contact ofsted. Thank god it was you that bumped into him.

Onetraumaatatimeplease Wed 06-Nov-13 20:55:41

None of the staff saw me. I had to walk across the playground on the junior side and was making my way past two of the infant classrooms (they hadn't been let out of school yet so just parents their. One of them has a DS in my older boys class and saw me dash to my lo) the nursery and reception classes are round the corner iyswim. I didn't get near that side of the school. I was thinking of sending an email to the school tonight so the head is fully informed by the time I get there tomorrow

Ughughugh Wed 06-Nov-13 21:08:00

I would send an email saying you are going in to discuss a very serious matter. I don't think I'd say what it was, as they may start to think up some excuses.
I'm afraid in your position, I'd go straight to head, governors and OFSTED. These are basic safeguarding measures that they are monumentally failing.
I would also be removing my dc straight away (although I realise it's not that easy)

pudseypie Thu 07-Nov-13 16:22:59

I'm appalled. I would let Dh deal with it. This is incredibly serious and they need someone to put a rocket up them which it sounds like your dh will do.

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