Arsenal 2-1 FC Thun

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Van Persie

Evening all, and welcome to GU's coverage of the biggest mismatch in Champions League history. Yes, it's Arsenal, the sixth richest club in the world, against puny FC Thun, who only clambered into the Swiss top flight three years ago and whose entire annual wage budget wouldn't pay Thierry Henry's wages for even half a year.

Not that Henry will be at work tonight, of course, since after spending most of last season moaning about being less than a 100% fit, he's finally taken time off to do something about it. Tantrum-tastic Dutch youngster Robin van Persie takes the Frenchman's place, having shaken off an injury incurred when team-mate Emmanuel Eboué clattered him in training.

But the biggest news for Gunners fans is that defensive colussus Sol Campbell has apparently overcome the assorted afflictions that have kept him out of action since last season and makes a much-needed return at the expense of sieve impersonator Pascal Cygan. And if Thun get within eye-sight of Arsenal's goal, they may notice that the tall bloke waving at crosses is not Jens Lehmann but his deputy, Manuel Almunia, the German being suspended. Mart Poom is on the bench as back-up.

Arsenal: 24-Manuel Almunia; 12-Lauren, 28-Kolo Toure, 23-Sol Campbell (c), 3-Ashley Cole; 8-Fredrik Ljungberg, 19-Gilberto, 15-Francesc Fabregas, 7-Robert Pires; 9-Jose Antonio Reyes, 11-Robin van Persie

Thun: 1-Eldin Jakupovic; 17-Alen Orman, 26-Selver Hodzic, 5-Ljubo Milicevic, 3-Jose Goncalves; 11-Andres Gerber (c), 6-Tiago Bernardi, 9-Faria Pimenta Adriano, 19-Silvan Aegerter, 21-Nelson Ferreira; 20-Mauro Lustrinelli

Referee: Gregorz Gilewski (Poland)

Your guide to Thun the town
Now, if you've actually been there, or indeed been somewhere much better, then you might like to tell our chums in charge of the fancy new Travel malarkey about it. If not, you might like me to tell you about it, or at least pass on some titbits I gleaned from research undertaken between updating my fantasy chairman team (Benayoun, you budgie!) and finding something else to shamelessly plug.

So here's stuff: the population of Thun is roughly 41,000, making it, according to Uefa, the third smallest town to get a team into the Champions League group phases (free slap on the virtual back for anyone who guesses the two that are even tinier). The website of the Thun tourist office also reveals that 21% of the town's surface area is covered by a military base (that's a lot of tin-openers and boil-lancers if my £3 knock-off Swiss army knife is anything to go by) and an impressive 9,538 buildings in or around the town centre have fire insurance. Book your holiday now.

7:33pm: Here's Mike Craig with an early bid for worst pun since the last time Mark Lawrenson spoke: "If I remember right, Thun is pronounced 'toon' and sits on the 'tuna' (Thuner) lake. Would lt be scraping the barrel even below the GU tradition to make comments about fish out of water? Or certain northern comedy clubs?

And no, Tom Stagles, one of the places smaller than Thun to get a team into the Champions League group stages is not Heerenveen. Reasonable guess, though.

7:40pm: Out toddle the teams, the Swiss in red and white, of course, and Arsenal wearing the Ribena-hued number they've dreamt up to commemorate their final season at Highbury. WIll it be a successful season? That probably depends on how they cope without Henry over the next six weeks.

1 mins: The referee has resisted the temptation to innovate: so the game starts with the traditional tip-off. Arsenal take it and rage immediately forward. And Campbell pops up at the edge of the box to wallop one goalward. But it's blocked by a brave defender.

Meanwhile, no Dan Weingrod, Eindhoven is not the answer. And Tom Hopkins, Rosenborg is wrong too - and not only because it's not a town (Rosenborg come from Trondheim).

4 mins: Campbell may be back, but Arsenal's defensive frailty persists: Touré's been booked for hacking down Mauro Lustrinelli, Thun's top scorer. The Swiss waste the freekick though, and the Gunners tear forward anew, their attack culminating with a curling Pires drive that whizzes narrowly past the post.

7 mins: Emulating his defensive partner, Touré ventures forward, and just fails to connect with an in-swinging Pires cross.

9 mins: Arsenal may be dominat, but Thun have shown they're ambitious: and Almunia had to sprint off his line there to intercept a clever through ball at the feet of Lustrinelli.

10 mins: Selver Hodzic booked for a tackle on Reyes that was so late even British train users were shocked.

14 mins: Stu Gardiner wonders: "Could one of the smaller towns be Tunbridge Wells, whose local team Manchester United have made it on several occasions?" And Lewis Mostyn simply, and wrongly, roars: "Monaco!" Meanwhile on the pitch, Touré, of all people, has drawn a fine save from the goalkeeper with a 25-yard free-kick. From the resultant corner, Campbell butts the ball wide. So far, Arsenal's centreback have been their most potent attacking force!

16 mins; Wing wizardy from Reyes, who dazzles past two before teeing up van Persie. Who goofs embarassingly. Thun, who've seen little of the ball but are determined to attack every time they do get it, surge forward and, yet again, Lustrinelli comes within inches of getting on the end of a cunning ball. A shock away goal is looking less and less shocking at this point.

Philip Dench, meanwhile, gives this delayed reaction to my earlier tip-off jibe: "Why not start games with a basketball tip off, except you would obviously have to try & head the ball...instant mayhem!"

19 mins: Reyes finds space 20 yards out and uses it to drive a stinging low shot towards goal: and keeper Eldin Jakupovic fumbles it before recovering smartly. The former Grasshoppers Zurich keeper would have been hopping mad if that had gone in.

21 mins: In keeping with almost all Arsenal European home matches, the middle of the first half has sunk into a drabness matched only by the atmosphere in Highbury library. Meanwhile, a furious Lewis Mostyn has got back in touch to point out that the population of Monaco is only 32,000, making it smaller than Thun's. Yes, Lewis, but Monaco isn't a town, it's a principality. Good try, though. And as for you, Ian Holt, Leverkusen is wrong by hundreds of thousands.

25 mins: Jussi Keinonen reckons its Auxerre and dogged Tom Hopkins is back again with another suggestion: "Lens?" Two wrongs don't make a right, lads.

27 mins: Oh look, there's Freddie Ljungberg! I'd clean forgotten he was on the pitch, what with him not having done anything for the opening 27 minutes. Didn't do much there either, mind, just dink the ball inside for van Persie to lose.

29 mins: As Thun squander their second corner of the match, it's time for all members of the minute-by-minute community to turn towards Chicago and doff their virtual hats in the direction of Ms Clare Conroy, who has correctly identified the first of our small towns: "Might Molde FK from Norway, with a staggering population of 19,000 be one of the teams from a town smaller than Thun?" For she's a jolly good, um, fellow.

32 mins: Reyes works his way to the byline for practically the first time in the match but his fizzing low cross is slashed clear by Ljubo Milicevic.

33 mins; Milicevic breaks up an Arsenal attack on the edge of his own box, then bounds forward, plays a zippy one-two with the impressive Lustrinelli, and lets fire from 30 yards - Almunia saves at full stretch. Fine play by the Swiss!

37 mins: Gilberto attempts to thread one through to Reyes, but the suddenly ubiquitous steps in calmly and punts it clear. But Arsenal work it forward again and force Orman into the concession of a corner. Which Pires lofts to Fabregas at the edge of the box: if the plan was for the young Spaniard to volley it into the top corner, he only got it wrong by about forty metres.

38 mins: Reyes falls awkwardly after attempting some kind of exotic pirouette: he looks in severe pain, but it could be just embarassment. Either way, he's gone off for treatment, prompting Bergkamp to do what David James famously neglected to do when on international duty in Denmark: prepare. And as he does that, Fabregas attempts another volley, this time missing by only five yards (forgive the fluctuation between yards and metres, I'm trying to appeal to all generations).

43 mins: Reyes is back in action ... and almost breaks the deadlock in farcical fashion! His low but weak shot skidded straight into the arms of Jakupovic, who then mysteriously let it slip under his legs! Ljungberg dived in to prod it over the line, but the keeper got his hands to it and though the ball did cross the line, the ref decided Ljungberg fouled the keeper.

44 mins: Van Persie sent off! A harsh decision by the young Polish ref: the striker leapt in the air to control a long pass, lifting his foot to head height. He connected with the ball but followed through, inevitably, into the head of Orman - it surely wasn't intentional, but the official whipped out the red card immediately.


Small town shenanigans: Right, apologies to all who participated in the bombardment of my inbox: your guesses were many and varied, some were way off the mark, some cited places that don't even exist and some, quite possibly, were correct. But the other town that has a smaller population than Thun and succeeded in getting a team into the Champions League group stages is, according to the official Uefa blurb I blagged today, Lie, home of Belgian outfit Lierse. I take no responsibity for any anti-climatic feeling this answer has generated. that, after all, is the general tenor of European matches in Highbury, isn't it?

46 mins: Play resumes, with neither team having made any change during the interval.

49 mins; GOAL! Arsenal 1-0 Thun It was all so easy when it finally came. Pires whipped a corner to the backpost, and Gilberto soared unmarked, with the bandaged Orman jumping vainly about two yards to his side, and nodded the ball past the keeper for the precious opener.

51 mins: GOAL!! Arsenal 1-1 Thun Now that's just plain funny! After toiling so hard to take the lead, Arsenal surrender it almost instantly ... and how! Thun lofted a long ball into the box, which Tourél headed to the edge of the box. It bounced once and Nelson Ferriera retrieved it, then, without even looking, looped it back into the danger zone - and that zone, it turned out, was the back of the net! Did he intend that? The Thun players don't care: they've engulfed him and are kissing his surprised visage as I write!

55 mins: Sweet cross-field ball from Gilberto to Cole, who whacks it across the box first time. Ljungberg kills it with his thigh, then attempts to sidefoot it into the bottom corner, but it zings just wide.

57 mins: Reyes is down again, this time after clashing heads with Jose Goncalves. His team-mates don't seem too eager to console him, probably because he just stifled a goal-scoring opportunity by refusing to cross when three Gunners were poised to strike.

61 mins: Lauren makes a bid to be the second Arsenal expulsee, leaving his leg in on goalscorer Ferriera. The ref, perhaps atoning for his excessive zeal of earlier on, takes no action.

64 mins: Thun, who seem to sense blood, are pouring forward and the Gunners look decidedly rickety. Lustrinelli is one of those players who looks dangerous even when he doesn't have the ball (and I don't mean that in a Dennis Wise kind of way).

69 mins: Arsenal look more urgent now, but just as aimless. They have won a corner though, and since Gilberto scored from the last one, perhaps they'll conjure something now: the set-piece is cleared, and as the defenders sprint clear, Touré lofts it over the top, Milicevic botches his header, and Ljungberg finds himself one-on-one with the keeper: and fluffs it badly!

73 mins: Thun react to Arsenal's upping of the tempo by replacing captain Andres Gerber with a defender, brazilian Leandro. Arsenal also make a switch: Bergkamp coming on for Fabregas. Can he find space and ingenuity where his team-mates have ffound but stray passes? Well, his first contribution is to blast a free-kick straight into the wall.

77 mins; A momentary lapse in coverage as my computer, like Reyes on a regular basis, collapses. Arsenal are utterly dominant now and bookies are offering a generous 9/4 on them snatching a winner: but given Arsenal's European tradition, I, for one, wil not be availaing of it. particularly as Thun has seemingly abandoned all trace of ambition and are merely stacking sandbags around their box.

79 mins: Reyes and Ljungberg trudge off as Wenger hurls on Hleb and Owusu-Abeyie in a bid to find a winner. But in the last two minutes, Thun appear to have sussed that the best form of defence against these brittle Gunners is attack, and they're piling forawrd again, as Arsenal look desperately jittery. Perhaps they need Pascal Cygan.

83 mins: Let Celine Thomas being the inquest: "The wheels have come off wenger's wagon," she wails, "Wiltord beat Real 3-0 last night, Vieira's cruising to victory tonight, Thiery henry must be watching this and booking the next flight to Barcelona. Not that i'm doom mongering, you understand."

86 mins: I wonder if Lustrinelli can still look dangerous from the bench? We'll see, because that's where he is now, having been replaced by Omar Faye.

87 mins: Bergkamp floats a fine cross to the backpost, where Touré rises and meets it with his head ... but it drifts agonisingly wide.

88 mins: An incesant barrage from Arsenal now, but Thun are throwing themselves heroically in front of every ball: a Pires blockbuster was blcoked on the line by about three defenders there.

89 mins: "May I just say how much I'm enjoying your coverage," inquires gentleman Jonathan Vincent, "but maybe that's because I'm living in Thun and I'm a Tottenham fan!"

90 mins: "It's not the end of the world if they don't score," says commentator Niall Quinn, "but it is a catastrophe!"

92 mins: GOAL! Arsenal 2-1 Thun Bergamp averts catastrophe! He collected the ball brilliantly on the penalty spot, tried to twist past Hodzic but fell, then recovered and with Hodzic still sprawled behind him, slotted it past the keeper! Cue delirium in Highbury.

Full-time Arsenal have done it! Just as it seemed they'd contrive to draw yet another match they'd dominated, 35 year-old planephobe Dens Bergkamp produced a priceless piece of magic. Arsenal fans can let rip with a cathartic roar - and perhaps find a moment to laugh at this news from Bruges: a certain Patrick Vieira of Juventus was sent off in the last minute! And with that, I thank you for following this and for all your emails: you were magnificent and yes, the Earth did move.

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