"Attraction" and building "Sexual Tension" is a Choice
With the Power Of Aware Sexual Confidence. Part 1

Have you ever had a friend describe a really "hot" blind date for you, and you get all excited and eager to meet this wonder person only to come face to face with the person and zero, nothing, no sparks.

The person is all that, but you are just not digging him or her.

Or have you ever found yourself so powerfully attracted to someone with whom you have nothing in common, and physically he or she is not even your "type" but he or she makes your libido sit up and howl? 

Or may be you have been in a passionless and sexually dead relationship with your partner and suddenly you find yourself so attracted to your partner that you cannot keep your hands off him or her?

Two words - Sexual Tension.

Sometimes you instantly feel strong sexual tension with someone when you first see him or her and other times sexual tension an sneak up on you very slowly. 

You may like the person, enjoy their company, and you have a lot in common but that spark is missing - that special feeling is not there (he or she is just a friend). 

Then one day you come to the realization that you are very sexually attracted to him or her.

Other times, you feel the sexual tension with someone and then when you get to know the person, the sexual tension fades away. 

You cannot fake sexual tension...

Sexual tension happens in the pauses, tension is built in the silence and can happen without words…(Although when you understand the power and energy of words, ie, tonality. You can really ramp up the seduction of the other.) 

It is a pregnant pause where eyes meet for longer then necessary, a brush of the finger tips at the right moment, a regular phase spoken with a sexual undertone, a knowing half smile noticed by no one but the person it was meant for.

There is some truth to “getting to know” someone on a social level and talking about your likes and dislikes, career, favourite places to go, etc. 

These things create commonalities that make it easier for you to relate to each other logically. 

This also serves as an excuse to get closer to someone you feel sexual tension with.



Being sexually attracted to them has much less to do with how much you have in common and more to do with sexual tension between two people. 

Think about it. 


This happened DESPITE the lack of “commonalities” as you know them. 

There was something else that you were attracted to.

Many of the clients I work with, have their sexual energy in a chaotic, busy, all over the place state. 

They work way to hard to ask questions and keep the conversation going to avoid having an “awkward” pause. 

Little realising just how "powerful" silence can be.

And to let the eyes and body do the "talking."

What actually causes attraction and sexual tension?

1. Attraction

Attraction is mutual connection between two people. 

You have attraction with business partners, friends, family, and even very quickly with certain new people you meet. 

Some people are easy to connect with, therefore easy to have attraction with. 

They are "confident" and relaxed, easy to be with....Trust worthy.

Some people are hard to connect with and build that attraction connection.

They lack confidence and have low self esteem and little or no "trust" in themselves.

They are in their head thinking about what to say and not listening or attentive to the energy of the other person.. 

Very often such men and women are "people pleaser's."

This blocks the natural, organic flow of sharing with another. 


If someone is not open for giving and receiving they are not open for connection, therefore building attraction becomes difficult, still possible, but difficult. 

Some mutual connection is necessary to create attraction. 

The more there is the more drawn to you he or she will feel on a personal level, not necessarily on a sexual level. 

Often when you stop talking and let pauses naturally occur.

The other person often gladly picks up the slack, grateful for the opportunity to say something more than a few word answer! 

Attraction is created and reciprocated.

2. Sexual Tension. 

Sexual tension is what separates friends from lovers. 

If you do not have sexual tension both men and women cannot see you as a sexual being. 

Often both men and women talk far too much and fidgeting and what not, which makes it damn near impossible to have much sexual tension. 

Some men are totally relaxed in their masculinity, they just exude sexual energy and they own it, and it is very difficult to see them as friends even when a woman wants to just be friends with them. 

Same goes for women who are totally at ease in their femininity.

They just ooze sexual presence with out trying and they too own it.

And attract men like bees to a honey pot.

I personally have a professional female friend like this. 

I have to work to keep it casual and non-sexual because I do not want it to go to a sexual place (professional boundaries), but she makes it very difficult! 

Simply in the way she speaks, smells and moves, it is all in the sexual tension of her feminine sexual essence. 

We both know and are well aware of the sexual tension and attraction between us.

Attraction + Attraction = Friendship or more

Sexual tension + Attraction = Sex or more

With the tons of books on reading sexual attraction postures, gestures and facial cues, and even with all that "you know" about men-women dynamics, many men and women still cannot figure out if there is sexual chemistry between two people - or not.

You misread and misinterpret sexual signals because there are other energies being transmitted in your brain, that tend to interfere with your ability to correctly read someone else's sexual tension and sexual body language. 

Like belief systems, ie religion or other psychological beliefs that have a negative impact towards sex and sexuality.

It is like when you are trying to tune your radio to 69 FM, but your sexual antenna is interfered with by your psychological belief frequency range. 

There are sexual attraction signals that your conscious mind could never tell you, because these signals are operating at the primal brain range and your psychological belief systems filter them out.

So what do you do? 

The answer...

Trust your sexual instincts. 

The ability to utilize your primal instinct is a crucial factor in sexual tension, since sexual tension happens at the primal level in your brain.

It is ancient primal animal energy.

Because your body senses threat or danger before your mind does, your primal mind or gut feeling can pick up those aspects of sexual tension that your concious mind is totally unaware off. 

This primal instinct not only helps you steer away from potential danger, it also lets you know at a deep primal level when a potential sexual mate is around.

I will be going deeper into this in the next article.

The Science Of Sexual Chemistry.

You need to be aware and connected to this primal element of yourself, if you are to be successful with the opposite sex. 

So trust your sexual instincts. 

Except that there is an alarming exception. 

If your psychology is weak, faulty, unhealthy and damaged, you will not be able to pick up these sexual signals and as a result you will not be aware of the other person's sexual energy.

If you cannot connect on a sexual level, then there is no sexual tension, no sexual attraction.

Your psychology is damaged, you have a problem tuning into a man or woman's sexual essence because your own sexual essence is blocked by beliefs, trauma etc.

Your own connection to your primal instincts are not strong enough to set off sexual chemistry.

How can you tell that your sexual signals are not strong enough?

Every time you meet someone new and the conversation is good, you have much in common, you sense sexual tension to him or her and things seem to be going generally well but the other person does not find you attractive in a sexual way.

Your sexual signals are blocked or faulty. 

Or you cannot read others sexual signals and primal essence

When this is the case, you have a problem tuning into a man or woman's primal sexual essence because even though you are sending sexual signals, your own sexual tension is very weak or you are sending the wrong sexual signals at the wrong time because you cannot read the other persons sexual tension.. 

How can you tell that you're sending the wrong sexual signals at the wrong time?

Every time you meet someone new conversation is good, you have much in common, but when you start getting all "sexual" the opposite sex look at you like "Ugh! Weirdo!" if you are a man. 

If you are a woman, men think you are "easy and cheap" because your sexual essence is all over the place.

Your psychology is damaged and not in tune with your own primal instincts.  

This means that you are blasting them out all over the place or are not tuning into the opposite sex's sexual essence because you are not sending any sexual signals at all. 

How can you tell that you are not sending any sexual signals at all?

You are sexually invisible to the opposite sex.

So to pick up these signals operating at a primal level and get sexual tension right, you must first make sure you in touch with your own primal sexuality.

Be it Masculine Sexuality or Feminine Sexuality.

And I will be going deeper into "Primal Sexuality" in the next article.

"The Science Of Primal Sexual Chemistry."

With practice and awareness you will naturally be able to tune into your own primal sexual essence and read and be aware of someone else's primal sexual essence and set off powerful sexual tension. 

It becomes part of you, something you do without even trying.

And you are "aware" of what is going on.

Sexually "confident."

And that makes you very powerful and attractive.

Be sure to read the next article where I will be going into the primal sexual animal and sexual biology.

What REALLY attracts men and women to each other sexually!


For Love, Passion and Intimacy...

Ange Fonce


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