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In which many goals are scored. Go see the Paper Towns movie this weekend!

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John: That's a great ball for John Green!
Craig: Oh! Oh! Oh!
Both: Oh!
Craig: Wow!

John: It's John Green! It's a goal! Oh!

I like the fact that he took it, Meredith. It takes some courage to shoot against Barcelona. Speaking of courage and shooting. Oh! Oh! The Gaulden Child!

For the team! For glory!
Craig: Oh!
John: It's John Green again!

And it's, like, wonderful and weird and... Oh my God. Bald John Green.

There's the ball. Doh! Good gracious!

See, people say "Oh, that John Green, he doesn't know anything about Italian/Spanish/French geography." But that's unfair.

She's just, she's so wonderful. I'm such a huge personal... Oh! Dicko!

It's Dicko! It's Dicko!
Craig: Oh!
John: Dicko!
Craig: Oh!

John: ...a lot of their experiences and feelings on to. Speaking of projection of feelings and experiences, that was a wonderful pass.

Dicko! Green! Goal! Goal! Goal! Oh! Yes!

That's a foul! He fouled me! Get to him! Oh! I'm angry! And when I'm angry I slide tackle unnecessarily.

Two things: Power and accuracy. That wasn't very powerful but it was very accurate. OK.

Oh, Deeney had a little bit too much to drink last night. But the Gaulden Child! The Gauld... No, it's Mose Vestergaard! it's Mose Vestergaard!

It's a magical time of year and one that we need to pause, pause... Oh! Oh! And think about how grateful we are!

They say "What number would you like to bet on, sir?" And I say "Green, always green." And they say "That, sir, is not a number." And that's how I never lose money at roulette, that's the secret. balance, you sort of - Go! John Green! John Green! John Green! John Green! John Green! Oh!
"Bald John Green, John Green,
He gives it all for the team."
Did you see him move onto his preferred left foot?
"Upon his mustache we're keen,
Bald John Green, John Green."

That's a beautiful ball! Oh, it was husband to husband action. Get in there! It's a goal! It's a goal for Hells Pells!

Um, well we were both very goth. Oh my goodness! Dicko to Deeney!

It's not a fear of flying, it's a fear... Oh! 

I didn't feel like she wanted me to make a mo... Ohoho. Ozéia!

Oh, that's it. That's it. That's it. Dance. Dance John Green! Dance! And score!

Speaking of which! Oh! Their keeper is a genius! But not enough of a genius!

Obviously that's a huge problem. Speaking of huge problems. Oh, Nottingham Forest have a massive problem.

Will we ever see me kick a soccer ball, like a non-fictional soccer ball? An unpixelated, real soccer ball? I don't understand what the point would be of that.

But I don't at all... Oh! Oh my God, Other John Green.

That's not a bad ball but it didn't come to anything because, you know, sometimes in life... Oh! Oh! Juan Maresca!

Surman. Surman. To Dicko!

What a job! Oh! Right away! Dicko!

...that the Wimbly Womblys have a stronger future than any of us could have ever imagined! Oho!

Come on! Dicko! Oh! Sweet holy Lord!

I'm afraid of dying in an airplane crash. Oh! Bald John Green! Oh! It's two-nil!

They just end for differ... Oh my goodness gracious!

Oh, but I'm strong. Dicko strong! Dicko Strong would be a pretty good, it's a pretty good nickname. What's your name? Dicko Strong.