The Answer

By Thomas, NHY Alumni 

My name is Thomas and I am a KING BABY. You’ll better understand who I am by how some of my characteristics show up. My search for approval has lead to the loss of my own identity in the process. I have difficulty accepting personal criticism.  I feel like I’m being threatened and become angry when criticized. I have an addictive personality and am driven to extremes. I feel unappreciated, and like I don’t fit in. I am obsessed with material things. This is where my KING BABY reaction comes into play. I am constantly comparing myself to others, and end up feeling like I don’t measure up.

I realize that this behavior can cause feelings of worthlessness and self-blame. I want to be accepted to please others, so I seek designer clothes, attractive girlfriends, and drugs. This quote “No amount of love, status, money, or fame is enough for the scared little child in us,’’ is  good. It lets me know I need fixing. I have to regain self-worth and learn to control my KING BABY behavior. It is not easy. I am caught up in this vicious circle. When it looks like success is in sight, I slip into frustration and failure.

My life has extreme highs and lows. My need for acceptance is like an addiction. I fall into a pattern of being thrilled by success and filled with pain by failure.  I feel like the love affair with getting high takes over all aspects of my life. Progressively, I slip into more excessive and immature behavior. This is why I became chemically dependent, and quickly reached the bottom in a fraction of the time it took others.  Now, that I’ve reached bottom without destroying myself, I have an opportunity to appreciate and accept Thomas.