I’m back from vacation.

A homeless woman asked me to fill her perscription for percocet.  My secretary, warning me not to be such a softie, said “We’ve got a big bottle of ibuprofen.”   My associate says, “Priest.  Drug dealer.”

A parishioner tells me, “I don’t want him to burn in hell later.  I want him to burn in hell now.”

Another parishioner thanks me for helping her body heal from cancer.  I don’t take credit.

Four of us gather to discuss the bulletin for an hour.   We discuss for an hour topics like:

1) why put music in the leaflet?

2) why use 12 point font rather than 11 point font?

3) Garamond vs Helvetica

4) Why we should use incense during the mass?  Even if we don’t swing it around.  (This was, of course, a digression.

5) Does everyone know the lord’s prayer?  Should we take it out of the leaflet to save space?

6) Why do we have a leaflet anyway?

7) Is it a homily or a sermon?

8) Do we know when the bishop’s coming?