On Valentine’s Day, a Glasgow movie theater hosted what may go down in history as the most disastrous Fifty Shades of Grey movie screening ever.

It all began innocently enough (for an R-rated movie inside a theater that allows moviegoers to imbibe), according to BBC News. Three women—ages 51, 38, and 31—were enjoying a Saturday-night screening of the racy E.L. James adaptation when, according to a bystander who spoke to The Telegraph, a male moviegoer “asked them to shut up.”

The women did not take well to the suggestion, and reportedly attacked the man who dared interrupt their viewing of the film. Some witnesses alleged that violent acts involving a wine bottle took place during the altercation (a claim that made us feel a wee bit guilty about suggesting our own multiplex mini bottle pairings). But both the police and a spokesperson for the group that owns the theater chain claim that “nobody was glassed and a wine bottle was not used as a weapon.” The theater rep added that “those involved did not require hospital attention.”

When police arrived at the theater, they arrested the three alleged Fifty Shades of Grey perpetrators who, according to witnesses, were “worse for the wear.”

A 33-year-old man, who seemed to be ashamed both of his city and of his decision to see the movie, offered these comments to The Telegraph:


“Only in Glasgow are police called to the cinema. This type of behaviour happens at pubs and nightclubs, but you don't expect that at a cinema.”


Of all the nauseating body fluids that one might expect to see on a Fifty Shades of Grey theater seat, blood is not one we anticipated.

But, dear repulsed readers, this was not the only incident to occur inside the same screening. According to the same 33-year-old, who may never be able to step into a movie theater again without suffering P.T.S.D. flashbacks:

“There were also several incredibly drunk women vomiting in the aisle and corridor and several complaints from the other screen about drunk and rowdy folk.”

So whatever your Fifty Shades of Grey viewing experience entailed—even if it lasted just a few seconds while traveling 70 miles-per-hour past a drive-in movie theater—rest easier knowing that your screening was not marred by the above unpleasantries.

Related: The Rocky Road to the Making of the Fifty Shades of Grey Movie