Why Listening Can Be One of Your Greatest Assets

Psychotherapist and performance coach offers 7 tips to being a highly effective listener

How many times have you thought to yourself “He just doesn’t get it” or “I don’t feel my supervisor understands me,” or “She talks too much”? With all these, effective listening could actually make a huge difference. Whether it’s a partner, supervisor, or friend–if this person zips their lips and actively listens, you’ll feel better understood.

Think of someone who makes you feel comfortable and relaxed no matter how chaotic your life may be. Someone who makes you feel that all is right with the world even if it may be crashing down in front of you. When you need comfort, who do you turn to? My guess is whoever this person; he or she possesses one vitally important trait: good listening skills. Being a good listener can be the difference that makes the difference in so many areas in life. This is especially true in business. I see it time and time again with my business coaching clients. They come in terrible listeners and leave having learned to actively listen and better understand their colleagues. This ultimately translates into better business.

Here’s how you can learn to listen like a pro:

1. Eye contact.

By looking the person in the eye you send a message to them: I’m paying attention, I care, and I’m listening. Don’t stare at the person dead in the eyes as this can be seen as too intense or even feel intimidating, but rather, look slightly off center to the left or right eye.

2. Ask open-ended questions.

This will show them that you’re actually interested in what the person has to say and could possibly help the speaker to open up and share more information. That said, avoid questions that have a “yes” or “no” response as that would dead end the conversation. For example, if someone is telling about an event they went to, instead of asking “Did you like it?” Say “Tell me about it.”

3. Be empathetic.


4. Don’t jump to a solution.


5. Avoid bringing yourself into the conversation.


6. Make it all about them and put yourself in their shoes.


7. Don’t interrogate or interrupt.


So, next time you find yourself engaging in conversation, practice being a really good listener. Start with the clerk at the store. Engage the person in conversation and put these seven tips into action. Then try them out with your colleagues and friends. You might be amazed at how effective you can be by simply listening better.

Originally published at www.inc.com


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