Which option do you think is best?

So he broke up with me and we haven't talked for a month until now. I'm still not sure exactly the reason for the breakup. I think it's both me and the long distAnce

anyway, I just messaged him today and asked if we could meet when I visit where he studies for my vacation and he agreed. So far, our conversation was okay, i mean he used smileys and stickers like how he used to before.

the thing is, the real reason I wanted to meet him was because I want to talk about our breakup, just to hear out each other's sides. He broke up via text last time so I kinda wanted to talk in person. There are a lot of things I want to clarify and I also want to apologize. But on the other hand, I feel like we're kinda okay already so I don't want to mess things up when we meet by bringing up the past.

The question is, which option is better?

1. Talk about the breakup and clarify issues once and for all.
2. Just have fun, enjoy the time together and forget about the brekaup
3. Have fun and just give a letter at the end before parting ways, saying all the things you want to say.

Im kinda going for option 1 or 3 to be honest but I need more opinions haha.

Basically, the letter will contain
- apologizing for everything. For being clingy and too insecure, and For rushing things
- saying that I'm okay with his decision now, that I really just want him to be happy. I was hoping I was the one but if he thinks he can find happiness with someone else then I'm honestly okay with it and be happy for him
- I still consider him as my best friend and would always be there for him. I'm okay with being friends if that's all he sees of me
- explaining why I was hurt at first with his decision (he doesn't want to give me a chance when he comes back for good. He wants me to entertain other guys because he doesn't want me to waste my time waiting for him. Does this mean he doesn't like me?)


Most Helpful Guy

  • Yes, he doesn't like you. Go with options one baby girl. Tell the dude what's on your mind and heart. If he telling you to go entertain other guys and not wait for him then he's a jerk. There are other guys that's going to be better than him.

    • But I think he's doing it because he cares for me? He knows there would be other guys wiating for me and he feels guilty if he would ask me to wait for him for 3 years

      I'm so confused

Most Helpful Girl

  • Honesty and communication always. I would sit down and talk to him about it. Don't make that the sole purpose of the whole thing, but take care of it. You owe yourself that closure, and if he's willing to meet up and hang out thenhe should be willing to talk about something as important as a relationship ending.

    Writing it in a letter is kinda lame in my opinion. It's like "here's all the things I wanted to say to you, but I didn't feel confident enough in myself to say it". No girl. You are confident enough in yourself. Go out there, have a good time, and get your closure (:

    • Thanks for your Opinion! :) this really hit me so hard. Yes, I guess I'm still not confident enough. I'm worrie that when at that moment, I'd just suddenly blank out, stutter and forget what to say. Aaaaand, afraid I might break down in front of him

      But you made so much sense that I should be confident enough to talk to him and clarify things for closure

      This is really so hard :/

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Just have fun and forget about the break up for now. I know you want to figure out why he broke up with you but its too soon. You can ask him later on...

    • The problem is, there might not be a next time haha lol. We've been broken up for 2 months now but we saw each other last month them stopped communication again

      I feel like, I can't ask him to meet up again especially since I wouldn't know when he's back here? I don't think he would still let me know

What Girls Said 2

  • I personally would go with option 3. A nicely written letter after a good time together shows that there is more to you than he thinks. Also, I personally know its easier to write a letter full of depth rather than speak face to face. In person your words become jumbled and misleading. A letter can sum up exactly how you are feeling.

    • Trueee, that is so me. I tend to find it harder to say everything I want to say in person. I forget about a lot of things when I'm at that moment.

      On the other hand, the other person also makes sense when she said about open communication and honesty. Gahhhh so hard

      But thanks for your opinion! :)

    • The other girl has a point. Communication shows that you know what you want and aren't afraid to express it face to face. Good point! Haha

  • I hate it when they break up with you and give you no closure. I wouldn't really wrote it all on a sheet a paper. I would just meet up with him somewhere and just talk to him. You are confident just day what you need to say and just be honest. Maybe it could help you get some closure. I tried getting closure from my ex but it never worked out and I was left confused. So I just let it be and left it alone. Go out there and just say what you need to say and just apologize for how you acted. I personally like writing it on a sheet of paper instead of in person.


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