June 7, 2017

On June 7, 2017, the police in the African country of Mozambique warned men of the dangers of being bald. Criminals were going around and decapitating bald men for the gold that they believed was in their heads. And not for the gold in their teeth, such as crowns and dentures, but because witchdoctors were telling people that bald men had gold inside their skulls and only they could get it out. When asked why the witchdoctors were doing this, the police stated that they believed it was a ruse by the witchdoctors to get body parts on the cheap for other spells from stupid people that might believe them. Officials in Mozambique stated that five bald men had already been murdered for their bald heads. Bald men in Mozambique started wearing caps, hats and wigs to hide from the stupid criminals, but they were secretly elated because someone finally wanted them, bald head and all.

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