Thursday, April 3, 2014

C For Chandni

Name of the Flower:
Carnation (Red)

Symbolic Meaning:
Aching Heart

Name of the Girl

Her Association with the Flower
Never to be forgotten Pain

Rewa was already late for her classes. Even though, the first semester was coming to a close, she still found the building of her university intimidating just as she had on the first day. After a quick word with her Dean, she went to find her friend Chandni in the washroom. Chandni had just texted a message asking Rewa to meet her there. Rewa was not a person who spent many hours before the mirror, but Chandni was just the opposite.
Chandni was a lovely person, grounded and probably the only true friend Rewa had in the University Campus. "Chandni, you there?" Rewa pushed opened the washroom door and saw Chandni busy straightening her silken hair. Rewa wrinkled her nose against the sudden whiff of a burning smell. "Isn't it tiresome and painful?"
"Beauty knows no pain!" Chandni laughed at Rewa's theatrics.
"So what's the occasion? You have plans for the evening?" Asked Rewa looking at Chandni's floral shirt atop skinny jeans with suspicion.
"Yesssss," squealed Chandni, "and you babes, are coming with me."
"We're having a fraternity party and I have asked John and his friend to join us."
"You are serious about John?" asked Rewa, not sure whether she liked that guy. But then, it would be her words against the most popular guy at the University. Not everyone found John pretentious and leering. Rewa thought it best to keep her thoughts to herself.
"No, I can't come. You go ahead." Rewa hoped that her smile covered her true feelings for John. She didn't want to lose Chandni over a disagreement about the boy.
"You are such a geek!" Chandni smiled, her words holding no malice. Everyone in the campus knew that both the friends were opposite in nature and they accepted each other as they were.
"Sorry, babes," Rewa grinned, "I don't want to make the guys choose between us."
Chandni left after slapping on a few more layers of make-up  and a red carnation flower clasped on her wrist with a band - a gift from John. Rewa went back to her dorm with a twinge of regret at her own lack of social life.
It was 2AM and Chandni had not returned. Rewa did not want to intrude, but being a worry wart, she called her up. Chandni’s cell kept on ringing. Embarrassed, Rewa cuddled in a blanket, her mind unfocused on the open Daniel Steele in front of her.
It was around 6 AM when Chandni entered the dorm. Her face was smeared with the remants of her makeup, cheeks stained with running mascara and a few red blotches which looked like bruises added to the grotesqueness. Rewa was too shocked to move. Her brain couldn't take in the battered body of Chandni as she flunked herself on her side of the bed. Neither spoke. The silence was deafening.
"They raped me after lacing my drink at the party."
Rewa wanted to go to the police, but Chandni refused, making her promise not to tell anyone since she feared that she could not face her parents and the guys had threatened her that they would release the MMS in the whole campus if she told anyone about it. Chandni did not have the strength to fight the whole world under these circumstances.
Rewa felt forced to respect Chandni's wishes.

Rewa's diary entry that night.

21st June, 1991
Dear Diary,
Why do women experience guilt after being raped? Will the feeling of acute violation ever go away? Will keeping quiet, just to avoid the ridicule of strangers, make it go away? Chandni was physically raped, but so have my ideologies. I will feel emotionally raped every time I see a red carnation.

Rewa picked up the battered carnation from the floor and quietly pressed it between the pages of her diary.


Check the Letter A for Anamika story here ....
Check the Letter B for Bela story here ....



  1. This is becoming a epidemic and even though most girls are aware of this they succumb to the peer pressure of having a good life in the name of fun....and the trust in boys.

    1. True Janaki and as parents we control and scream but it has to be instilled inside them that dating strangers is dangerous.

    2. Scary thing is that very often rape is committed by people whom the girl knows. Thanks for writing this story.

  2. Your tales continue to amaze me !

  3. When and where does it all end? No need for girls to drink whatever is offered.

  4. *lets out a deep heavy sigh* I don't know what to say. I feel bad for Chandini but worse for Rewa who is more helpless than Chandini is. And your words - they are so powerful. I feel i can see the characters come to life right in front of me

  5. Sad ! Who knows how many such unheard stories are hidden in dairy pages !

  6. Girls should definitely get over the guilt...they are not the ones who should feel guilt and shame!

  7. A sad yet powerful story. I wish girls knew that it is good to have fun, but the guard should never be down.

  8. Powerful story, Rubi. Glad to see you on board for the A to Z :D

    Bhavya @ Ishithaa

  9. I am amazed with your mastery with words, just read all three posts together. What a beautiful way of bringing our lives ugliness in front of every one.
    Great work!

  10. Hard-hitting truth in the form of a beautiful story. Very well written Rubina. Keep up the great work :)