(theme song)
Episode begins in the Realm of Magic.
Star Butterfly Okay, okay, me next, me next, me next! Who am I?
Star uses crystals and a patch of grass to make herself look like King Butterfly.
Queen Moon Oh! Oh! Oh! I... don't know.
Star Me, neither!
Star and Moon [laughing]
Star Got your unicorn! [grabs unicorn and runs away]
Moon Not for long! [chases Star]
Star [laughing]
Moon [laughing]
Star runs up to a waterfall flowing upward.
Star Hmm?
Star tosses the unicorn into the waterfall, and it floats up into the sky.
Moon [laughing] Where's my unicorn?
Star I don't know. Watch. [picks up a lizard] Watch, watch.
Star tosses the lizard into the waterfall, and it floats up into the sky.
Moon Oh, that looks super-duper fun.
Star [with her hair in the waterfall] Well, it ain't half bad. You should try it.
Moon Cannonball!
Moon jumps into the waterfall and floats up into the sky. When she reaches the top, she emerges in the Red Dimension.
Unicorn [whinnies]
Moon [picks up unicorn] Oh, what are you doing here? You're coming with me. [dives back in the water]
Scene cuts back to the Realm of Magic, at the bottom of the waterfall.
Star [singing] Where'd the hairy lady go? I don't know, I don't know.
Phone [buzzes]
Star Ohhh!
Star takes out her compact mirror phone.
Star (Recording) You are Star Butter—
Star tosses the phone into the waterfall before the recorded message finishes playing.
Moon [pops out of waterfall] Hey!
Star [gasps]
Moon Guess what I found?
Star Butter?
Moon A unicorn!
Unicorn Hi.
Star Cool! Where'd you find that?
Moon Oh, just in the other world at the top of the waterfall.
Star Another world?!
Star looks at multiple upward-flowing waterfalls.
Moon [to unicorn] I'll always take care of you.
Star [runs toward the waterfalls]
Moon U-Uh, hey, where are you going?
Star To see if there's more worlds. Come on!
Moon [tosses unicorn back in the waterfall] Okay! [follows Star]
Back on Mewni, Meteora Butterfly lies on the ground and squeezes Pony Head's lifeless body like a squeaky toy.
Meteora Butterfly Turdina! [tosses Pony Head away] I'm getting bored! Well, I guess I'll just be on my way. [walks toward Butterfly Castle]
Marco watches Meteora walk away while hiding with Kelly, Tom, Hekapoo, and Talon Raventalon.
Marco Diaz All right, we gotta come up with a new plan.
Hekapoo Oh, I got one. Let's run for it! We could just hang at the tavern, wait for this thing to blow over.
Talon Raventalon I second that.
Kelly Uh, that does sound pretty good.
Marco Oh, come on, guys! We're on a mission from the acting queen!
Talon Wait! She's not even queen?!
Hekapoo Marco. The plan didn't work, man.
Tom Lucitor Well, of course it didn't work! I thought we all knew that when he named it the "Doom Nut".
Marco Aw, come on.
Tom Look, we're not following Marco's plans because they're good. We're following them because he's Marco. He is gonna come up with another terrible plan, and when that one doesn't work out, he'll come up with another, and then another. That's why he's our leader, 'cause he's just dumb enough to never give up.
Marco looks touched by Tom's words.
Hekapoo Um, yeah, that's true.
Kelly Yeah!
Talon Hey, uh, inspirational speech and all, but I ain't gettin' my dang soul sucked out of me!
Tom We'll take a group photo.
Talon I'm in.
Kelly Well, what are we gonna do about those eyes?
Talon Um, we could put some shades on her. That'll keep her cool.
Hekapoo Ugh, Talon!
Tom Geez, man!
Kelly Come on!
Talon Oh! Only Turdina can come up with ideas!
Marco Guys... I got a plan.
Scene cuts to the Magic Sanctuary. Star and Moon pop out of the well of magic.
Star and Moon Ohhh!
Moon I've never seen anything like it.
Star [points at statues of Glossaryck] Who's the guy with the hot dog head?
Moon Oh, he's creepy.
Star I like it.
Star and Moon go back down the waterfall and go up a different waterfall. They end up in a world blocked off by a wooden sewer grate, which they hit their heads on.
Star and Moon Oof!
Star Hey!
Moon Let's see what's up there. [pushes against sewer cover, straining] This is dumb. This world is dumb. Let's go.
Star Okay!
Star and Moon [deep breath]
Star and Moon go back down the waterfall and return to the Realm of Magic.
Star Where do you wanna go next?
Firstborn (o.s.) Hey!
The firstborn unicorn that Star created in "Toffee" discovers Star and Moon.
Moon What's that?
Star I don't know, but it has way too many legs.
Moon What should we do?
Star Run! [laughing]
Star and Moon run away from the firstborn.
Moon We have less legs than you, but we can still run!
Back on Mewni, Talon struggles with the clasp on the back of Marco's Turdina bloomers.
Talon [grunting] How does this thing work, man?
Marco Just unhook the clasp in the back.
Talon Oop! Oh, there it is.
Marco Now get in position!
Talon Got it, ma'am!
Marco climbs up a tree. Hekapoo distracts Meteora by jumping in and out of dimensional portals. Meteora throws a tree at her.
Hekapoo Aah!
Marco Over here!
Hekapoo runs in Marco's direction and jumps through another portal.
Meteora Hey!
Hekapoo ends up on Earth, outside Britta's Tacos.
Britta Welcome to Britta's Tacos. Can I get your order?
Scene cuts back to Mewni.
Meteora Your friends are doing all the fighting for you? Are you afraid, Turdina?
Marco Turdina... fears... no one!
Marco leaps onto Meteora and covers her eyes with her bloomers.
Meteora Ohhh!
Marco Kelly!
Kelly fires Talon's dragoncycle harpoon and hooks it around a tree branch.
Kelly Floor it!
Talon drives around the trees, wrapping the harpoon's rope around the tree trunks.
Kelly Marco! We're good!
Marco Tom!
Tom, holding a demonic battle axe, starts chanting in a demonic tongue, covering his axe in heat. He flies around the trees, cutting through the trunks with the axe.
Tom Talon! Cinch the rope!
Talon drives away from the trees, causing the rope to pull taut and trap Meteora in trees.
Talon Yeah! That's how you do it!
Meteora [straining] You're only making things worse for yourself!
Marco Whoo!
Marco jumps off of Meteora's head and floats gently to the ground using his dress as a parachute.
Meteora [grunting]
Marco Hey, nice work, guys.
Hekapoo I'm impressed. I was pretty sure Talon would mess it up.
Talon Hey! I'm a professional!
Talon accidentally revs his dragoncycle's engine, causing it to pull away. Still connected to the harpoon's rope, Meteora falls over and rolls down the hill.
Meteora Whoa!
Marco Oh, no.
Talon [groaning]
Meteora Whoa-ho!
Tom I got this! [demonic chant]
Tom opens a fiery fissure in the ground that Meteora falls through.
Meteora [screams]
Tom And that takes care of that.
Tom claps his hands together, and the fissure closes shut.
Marco She's gone!
Back in the Realm of Magic, Star and Moon hide from the firstborn behind a pair of see-through crystals.
Moon Is it gone?
Star [looks for the unicorn] Hmm... Wait. What am I looking for? [gasps]
Moon Aah!
Star Who are you?!
Moon Uh, who are you?!
Star I'm... um...
Moon suddenly vanishes in a flash of light.
Star [gasping] Where'd she go?
Firstborn She wasn't supposed to be here.
Star Aww. Well, now I'm all alone.
Firstborn You're not supposed to be here, either.
The firstborn's horn flashes brightly. Scene cuts back to Mewni. Talon holds Nachos, Jorby, and Pony Head's floating bodies on ropes.
Kelly Are they gonna be okay?
Marco I... I don't... I don't know.
Talon [tearing up] I guess it's time for that group photo. [lowers sunglasses, sniffles] Get over here, guys. [takes out a selfie stick]
The earth quakes, and Meteora emerges from underground.
Meteora [laughing]
Talon Dang it.
Meteora blasts Talon with her soul ray and sucks out his and his dragoncycle's souls.
Marco Run!
Marco, Tom, Kelly, and Hekapoo run away from Meteora's soul ray.
Tom Not today, you turd!
Tom shoots a fireball at Meteora. Meteora swats it back with her tail, and it flies toward Kelly. She gets hit and falls to the ground.
Kelly [groans] I'm okay! I'm okay.
Tad (o.s.) [weak voice] Kellyyyyy...!
Kelly Wait. What? Tad?
Camera pans up to reveal Kelly has some of her hair burned off. She sees Tad lying on the ground.
Tad Kellyyyyy...! Kellyyyyy...! [groans]
Kelly [tearing up] What are you doing here?! You were supposed to move out.
Tad I was just collecting the last of my... [coughs] ...things.
Kelly That's... really mature of y—
Tad And, uh, writing the greatest love poem of all time. Can I recite it for you?
Kelly You don't have to.
Tad Roses are red, your hair is blue. I was a bad boyfriend. I don't deserve... you. Just... let me go. I'm gonna... I'm gonna die now, baby.
Kelly Okay, no, you're not gonna die.
Tad What?
Kelly You're not gonna die.
Tad How do you know? Are you some kind of doctor or something? [coughs]
Kelly Because you never go away. That's the thing with you, Tad. You never go away! Every time I think you're gone, you're back, living inside my hair.
Tad But where am I 'upposed to go?
Kelly Live in the woods, Tad! Live in the woods!
Kelly suddenly gets hit by Meteora's soul ray and has her soul sucked out.
Tad [weakly] Kelllyyyyyyyy...! [groans]
Hekapoo tries escaping through another portal, but Meteora zaps her with her soul ray and sucks out her soul at the last second.
Meteora [inhales] Delicious! [singsong] Turdina!
Marco and Tom hide behind a rock.
Tom Marco, it's over. We're the only ones left. I don't think the Marc-nificent Two is enough to stop her.
Marco You're right, Tom, but someone needs to go warn Star. [draws his sword] I'll stay and buy you both some time.
Tom Whoa! Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! I'm not leaving you! You're... You're my best friend.
Marco ...I... kissed Star.
Tom W... What?
Marco Yeah, so you don't owe me anything. Now go—
The sound of Tom running away is heard.
Marco Wow. No hesitation. [comes out from behind the rock] Hey!
Meteora Oh, hello, Turdina. I've been looking for you.
Marco [drops his sword] Well, I'm right here!
Meteora picks Marco up with her tail.
Marco Whoa! What are you doing?
Meteora You're a smart girl. Figure it out.
Marco But aren't you gonna savor this? I'm Princess Turdina!
Meteora Yes, I know. But I'm looking for a queen.
Just before Meteora blasts Marco with her soul ray, Tom jumps in the way.
Tom Rah!
Marco Tom!
Meteora Huh!
Marco What are you doing?
Tom [gasps] Calling your bluff!
Marco No! I-I really did kiss Star!
Tom Oh. Well... it's too late now.
Meteora Let's try that again. [sucks out Tom's soul again]
Tom [groans]
Marco Tom!
Tom [gasps]
Marco You're... You're back?
Tom I have thousands of spirits in here!
Meteora [sucks out Tom's soul again...]
Tom [gasps] This might—
Meteora [...and again...]
Tom [gasps] ...take—
Meteora [...and again]
Tom [gasps] ...a while.
Meteora starts sucking out Tom's souls at a steady rate. She starts to grow even more in size.
Marco Huh? She's... She's getting bigger!
Tom I may not have—
Meteora [sucks out Tom's soul yet again...]
Tom [gasps] ...thought this through.
Meteora [...and once more]
Marco Tom!
Marco squeezes out of Meteora's tail and jumps into the air.
Marco Hiiiiii-YAH!
Marco kicks Meteora in the face and knocks her over. He and Tom fall to the ground.
Tom [groans] Oh, what happened? Marco? Marco!
Meteora Marco?!
Marco Run...!
Meteora shoots her soul rays and covers the screen in white. Scene fades in on King Butterfly standing over Star.
King River What are you doing in bed? You're supposed to be looking for your mother.
Star Oh, Papa. I had the most wonderful dream. There were unicorns with too many legs and marshmallows and Mom. ...Mom? [gasps] Mom!
River You found your mother! Where is she? I don't see her.
Star [sighs] No. I mean... I mean, I did. I did. But... [sighs] She was there. She was standing right next to me, and I let her get away.
River It's okay, dear. We'll just keep looking until we find her. Meteora! Then it has come to this! Ryah!
River tears off his clothes to reveal a loincloth underneath.
River [laughing]
River jumps out Star's bedroom window...
Star Dad!
...and flies off on the back of an eagle.
River Ha-ha! To battle!
Manfred My queen, Sir Marco's expedition has returned.
Star runs out to the front of the castle.
Star [panting] Marco! Tom?
Tom [holding a rope] I tried, Star.
Star What happened? Where's Marco?
Camera pans up to reveal Marco's soulless body on the end of Tom's rope.
Star [gasps]
Scene cuts to black, then cuts back to the Butterfly Groundlands, where Meteora destroys everything in her path. River fires at Meteora with lightning from his staff, but Meteora deflects it with her tail.
River Scatter!
River's eagles scatter and dodge Meteora's soul rays. Tom watches from the front of Butterfly Castle.
Tom Star, she's right behind us. What do we do?
Star Wait a minute.
Tom Uh... Meteora?
Star I'm so dumb.
Tom What?
Star I'm an idiot!
Tom Uh... Oh, no. D-Don't say that.
Star How could I forget the Magic Sanctuary?
Tom What? But Meteora— Aah!
Star grabs Tom by the arm and pulls him along. They fly away from the castle on Cloudy's back.
Tom Star, where are we going?
Scene cuts to the pond where the Magic Sanctuary is located.
Star This is where me and my mom brought the Magic High Commission when they were all balloonified. We obviously can't bring the whole kingdom here, but at least we can start with Marco.
An alligator pokes its head out of the water.
Star There he is. [gives Marco to Tom] Hold my balloon. [kneels down next to alligator] Bwah! Bwah! Bwah!
Alligator [blinks]
Star Bwaaah!
Tom She's lost her marbles.
Star Bwaaah!
Alligator Bwah.
The alligator crawls back into the water... and eats a fish.
Star What?! No! No, no, no, this is not how this works! Go get the Sanctuary!
Tom Wh-What did you think was gonna happen here?
Star I-I'm doing the thing my mom showed me! You talk to the Guardian, he swims in, he goes down, the Sanctuary comes up out of the water. W-Why are you looking at me like that?
A single bubble pops next to the alligator.
Tom Star, I'm sorry.
Star It-It would have worked if my mom was here.
Star and Tom hug each other.
Star But I'm not her. It's all over.
Tom [gives Marco to Star and walks away]
Star Where are you going?
Tom [demonic chant]
Tom opens a door leading to the Underworld.
Tom Star, I promised Marco I'd keep you safe. We need to go. Meteora won't find us in the Underworld. We'll be safe and very, very warm.
Star looks down at the Underworld entrance. The soulless body of a Mewman bumps against the side of her head.
Star What the...?
Star looks up to see dozens of soulless bodies floating through the sky, including the eagles that fought Meteora with River.
Star Eagles! She got Dad? What am I doing?! I can't leave!
Tom Star?
Star I am the queen, and these are my people. I have to stay and fight.
Tom But Meteora will destroy you!
Star transforms to her mewberty form.
Star Stay here and take care of Marco. [flies toward the castle]
Tom Wha...? Did... Did... Did you know she could do that?
Scene cuts to the Butterfly Castle and surrounding groundlands in flames. Star flies up and enters the castle.
Star [gasps]
The lifeless bodies of Star's guards and subjects float around the inside of the castle. Star flies past the Tapestry Room; all the tapestries except Eclipsa's have been ripped up by claws.
Glossaryck Globgooooor!
Star Aah! Glossaryck! [groans] You almost gave me a heart attack! Now where is Meteora?
Glossaryck Globgor. [runs off]
As Star follows Glossaryck, Tom floats to the castle balcony using Mewmans' bodies as balloons. He releases the bodies into the sky and enters the castle with Marco.
Tom Star? [gasps]
Meteora casts a shadow over Tom.
Meteora [growling]
Tom Oh, shoot.
Meanwhile, Glossaryck continues to lead Star through the castle.
Star [gasps]
The painting-covered entrance to one of the castle's secret passageways swings open, with Eclipsa's handcuffs on the entrance frame.
Star Oh, great. Look, Eclipsa got out. That's awesome. Another thing I gotta deal with.
Tom (o.s.) [screaming]
Star [gasps]
Star enters the throne room and pushes past several floating bodies. Tom flies backward into a wall near Star.
Tom Aah! Oof!
Star Tom!
Meteora sits where the king and queen's thrones once were.
Meteora That was so much easier than sucking all those souls. Just one punch. Bam!
Star Tom, you gotta wake up!
Meteora Don't tell me you've forgotten all about your other boyfriend.
Meteora holds up Marco sitting on one of the thrones.
Star Marco!
Meteora Isn't it ironic? All that time I was chasing after Princess Turdina, I barely even noticed you.
Marco floats out of the throne, and Meteora crushes the throne in her hand.
Meteora As it turns out, I was chasing after the wrong princess!
Meteora fires her soul rays at Star, and she dodges.
Star Mega Narwhal Bla—!
Star flies backward into the ceiling from the force of her Narwhal Blast.
Star Whoa! Oh, man, this form really packs a punch.
Star dodges more of Meteora's soul rays.
Star Winterstorm Hyperblow!
Star blasts Meteora with a blast of ice and snow.
Meteora Ohhh!
Star Cupcake Blast! [blasts Meteora with cupcakes] Strawberry Annihilation! [blasts Meteora with strawberry] Supersonic Leech Bomb! [blasts Meteora with explosive leeches]
Meteora [groans]
Meteora fires her soul rays at Star again, and Star fires back with Dagger Heart Blast. After Meteora pushes Star back, Star flies in low. Meteora swats at her with her tail and throws punches at her. Star flies up and around Meteora.
Star Raspberry Ribbon Lasso!
Star catches Meteora's forearms with magic ribbons, but Meteora swings her around the throne room.
Star Aah! Aah! Aah! [straining]
Star pulls against the lassos, and they rip. She continues to fire upon Meteora from above.
Meteora [groaning]
Star Jellybean Hallucination Mist!
Star induces hallucinations in Meteora...
Meteora [shouting]
...but she blasts through them with her soul rays, destroying the throne room's roof.
Star [panting] Thermonuclear Butterfly Bla—!
Meteora grazes Star with her soul rays, and as she falls, Meteora catches her and pins her to a wall. She blasts her soul rays at Star again, and Star protects herself with a barrier.
Meteora End of the line, Butterfly!
Star [straining] Okay, I get it! You're angry! If I were in your shoes, I'd be angry, too! But you don't have to do this! We can fix everything!
Meteora You can't fix what your family's done!
Star [groaning] You're right! I can't! You want my power?! Take it!
As Star focuses her energy, her mewberty wings start to dissipate. All of her energy focuses into a heart shape on Star's chest.
Star [shouting]
Star releases the energy from her body and shoots it at Meteora, causing a tremendous explosion. Moments later, Star emerges from the rubble. Meteora emerges shortly after, stumbling around blindly.
Meteora [groaning] You little brat. Where are you? Where are—? [bumps into stone pillar, whimpers, growls]
Star [points her wand at Meteora] Na... Narwhal... [groans] Narwhal... Huh?
Eclipsa picks up the wand out of Star's hand, and it transforms into a parasol. She opens it and spins it around before revealing herself.
Star Eclipsa!
Eclipsa raises the wand, and it surges with power. Her cheek marks glow brightly.
Eclipsa [gasps]
Star looks at Eclipsa in shock. Meteora approaches Star from behind.
Meteora Found you!
Eclipsa Midnight... Shriek...!
Eclipsa points her wand at Meteora. A black skull-like butterfly appears, and a blast of energy fires through the butterfly and strikes Meteora.
Meteora Mama?!
Star Whaaaaaaat?
Meteora You blasted me!
Eclipsa [closes her parasol] You can't do this, Meteora!
Meteora But they... This... This should all be ours! They stole it from us!
Eclipsa So, what, you're just going to destroy it all?
Meteora Something like that.
Meteora raises her claw toward Star.
Eclipsa Stop!
Eclipsa strikes at Meteora with continuous arcs of energy.
Meteora [groaning] You're on their side?!
Eclipsa [tearing up] Black Velvet Inferno...!
Eclipsa blasts Meteora with a beam of dark-blue light and light-blue butterflies. The energy wraps around Meteora in the shape of a sphere.
Meteora [gasping] Mommy...?
The sphere closes, and Meteora's silhouette is seen through it.
Meteora [muffled] No! No! [pounding]
Cracks appear along the outside of the sphere, and it fills with white-hot light.
Meteora [screams]
The light disappears, and the sphere's fragments crumble to the floor, leaving only Meteora's tattered dress.
Eclipsa [sobbing gasps, falls to her knees] I'm sorry...
Star What did you do?
Eclipsa ...What I had to.
Kyle, one of the castle guards, floats down from the sky with a balloon-like squeak. He falls to the floor, and his eyes return to normal.
Kyle I'm... I'm alive! [laughing]
Other Mewmans also float down from the sky and start returning to normal.
Star [gasps] They're... They're turning back!
Marco's body falls through the air.
Star [gasps] Marco! Aah! I gotcha! I gotcha!
Star catches Marco just before he hits the floor.
Star Aah! Oof! Marco! Marco? Marco?
Marco [opens his eyes] Huh? Star! W-What happened?
Star [hugs Marco] I got you, Marco Diaz!
As Star and Marco look at each other, Tom walks up.
Tom Awww! I'm... I'm just gonna make this weird. [hugs Star and Marco]
Star Tom! Okay, Marco, this is great, but your butt's making my legs fall asleep.
Marco [laughs, gets off of Star] Sorry.
Star sees Eclipsa still on her knees in front of Meteora's crater and approaches from behind.
Star Eclipsa, you... you saved us.
Eclipsa Star? Well, thank you for letting me borrow this.
Eclipsa gives the wand back to Star. Star looks at the wand, then at Meteora's dress, then at Eclipsa again.
Star ...No. Keep it. This wand was yours. It belongs to you. Things haven't been right since my family took the kingdom. The best thing I can do as queen is return what my family stole from you.
A baby's cries are heard inside the crater. Eclipsa walks toward the crying.
Star Uhhh...
Eclipsa reaches under the tattered dress and picks up Meteora, reverted to an infant. Meteora stops crying and stares at Eclipsa.
Meteora [cooing happily]
Eclipsa [tearing up] Hello there, little one.
Star WHAT?
Eclipsa [to Star] Thank you.
Star Oh, yeah... Totally-totally-totally...
Eclipsa opens her wand parasol...
Star Uh, Eclipsa?
...and floats off into the night sky.
Marco What did you just do?
Star Where is she going?
Glossaryck [runs around Star and Marco] Globgor! Globgor! Globgor! Globgor!
Star Yes, Glossaryck, "Globgor". We know.
Glossaryck ...No, no, no! Eclipsa's monster love, Globgor! She's going off to be with him. I've been trying to tell you for months. Anyway, see ya around.
Glossaryck departs similarly to Eclipsa, making a parasol with his forehead gem and floating away. Star and Marco watch him leave, completely speechless. Marco falls over onto the floor in shock.
Star Is his voice different?
Scene cuts to the Monster Temple. Eclipsa floats toward the Temple and enters Meteora's nursery. She uses the wand to blast away the walls and rubble and disintegrate the back wall depicting a monster's four eyes. She walks beyond the wall and finds Globgor frozen in crystal.
Eclipsa [teary-eyed] Hello, my love. We're home.
(end song)
ved Star vs. the Forces of Evil Episode Transcripts
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Season 3
Season 4