176 "The Mountain Of Youth": May 28, 2010

71 minutes

RD's beginning spiel is again interrupted by a phone call, as Sheriff "Dirty" Harry Dickwell (things have advanced with him to the point that he has a first name now! Progress!) continues his search for that elusive John Smith. Blade floats my theory that J.S. is in fact the Doctor, who was apparently played by Sir Alec at one point in time (and relative dimension(s) in space) in some random play or other. Of course, that's what he thinks he did...

SPEAKING OF drunken hallucinations, (:03) Blade unfortunately could not get on a flight to some launch party of Mickie James' album thanks to American airline superdickery and being 'late' (or so he claims...). He bemoans the fact that only 125 people showed up to the thing and he missed his chance to interview the love of his life for the show. On the other hand, he may have not got the opportunity to do so (remember two weeks ago when they said they couldn't get anyone to be on a show called 'Wrestlecrap'?). And besides, 125 people? That's not a launch party, that's a fucking World of Warcraft guild meeting. [124 guys trying to bang the one chick?....Actually you're right, it IS exactly like a WoW Guild Meeting - "Showstealer"] Even more Sad 'News' follows, as Peter Gazer has been 'arrested' for the crime of actually attempting to be on a show for once and will thus no-show the Roast to be recorded this Saturday.

:18 There's something about RD going once more to Europe to get some beloved chocolate of my youth for his son. I couldn't really hear from Blade's random and frequent interruptions, a sign that he's drunk off his Stanley Cup yet again.

:23 Some actual Sad News here; Jim Ross had to close the last of his restaurants. The Fruitcakes call him and he is, of course, angry. But he has a right to be this time, so I guess it's different? They find out the real reason of the closures; it seems Jim could never sleep because he would be up all night with a loaded shotgun waiting for Johnny Ace to show up, and this thus wrecked havoc with him being able to wake up and open the restaurant on time. Apparently he's never heard of the concept of assistant managers.

Speaking of people now having nothing to do, (blond) Trish Stratus is doing the only thing she's actually good at and posing nude in a magazine. (Apart from working in a McDonald's Drive-Thru because heavens knows the working crew there need that kind of torture.) RD spins her picture right round, like a record, baby. [Hey! I make the Mike Check-esque music references here - "Showstealer"] Meanwhile Randy Savage marries once more and Candice Michelle successfully delivers a baby girl. Blade mock sings for her.

The MovieTrolla works after a bygone age of collecting dust somewhere (:48). It seems WWE Films doesn't know when to quit. Their new upcoming "kid's action comedy", The Chaperone, has Triple H look after children somewhere in New Orleans. Well, I can see why it would be called a comedy if it involves Helmsley trying to 'act'. There's no word yet on whether he'll do the chaperoning during Hurricane Katrina, which would make the film a must-see in my eyes.

In today's Question (:52) a 'Dave' (Meltzer?) lives in the same town as Blade's and doesn't get a good first impression of him. Perhaps he caught him at a bad time when he was drunk, which seems to happen around the clock these days. Blade doesn't help either to change the man's mind, somehow thinking he's secretly a jealous Dave Batista.

So Patrick Stewart has to show up to distract Blade from further going off against the man (:54). After saying a few random things he leaves now/teleports to his nearest car dealership (GM/Pontiac of course) to take a joyride. Unfortunately as a man of the 24th century, no one at Starfleet Academy seems to have told him not to talk on the phone while driving, so he wipes out almost immediately. But he manages to emergency teleport out in time just to taunt Blade. He's my kind of guy.

Your next Raw guest host...
:60 The recent WWE PPV that took place in Detroit has been riddled with numerous injuries to the company's talent, but even worse than that, it is saddled with a title that seemed to have been drawn from the 80s (Over The Limit). RD is so bored he looks at titles for MacGuyver episodes (which now has less episodes than the longest running episodic radio podcast in the history of the internets).

Send ol' Dave Batista off with Seventeen Syllables:
Batista is gone.
Who will fuck the Divas now?
Their division will.

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