Research: the pros and cons of popular parenting styles



  • Helicopter parents, who take over every aspect of the child's life.
  • Attachment or gentle parents, who are relaxed but set limits in line with the child's needs and character.

There are generally understood to be four typologies:

  • Authoritarian parents are the authority in their child's life. They set the rules and say "jump" and their child responds "how high?". (Most similar to tiger parents.)
  • Permissive parents are lax about their expectations, don't set standards and don't ask much of their children.
  • Neglectful parents are uninterested in their children and unwilling to be an active part of their child's life.
  • Authoritative parents are highly demanding while being highly responsive.
  • One of the major criticisms of these typologies is how culturally determined they are.


Tiger parents


Who coined it? Amy Chua popularised this name in her 2011 book Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother. Chua describes tiger parents, often seen in Chinese families, as superior to Western parents. Chinese parents assume strength and don't shy away from calling their children names. They assume their children owe them and expect their children to repay them by being obedient and making them proud.

Why parents choose this style: Tiger mothers are, as Chua attests, socialised to be this way by their cultural background. Thus, when they successfully demand an hour of piano practice it's part of their cultural background that the child complies. Western parents will have a hard time emulating the years of acculturation that leads to that moment.




Helicopter parents

Type of parent: You step in to prevent your toddler's every struggle; you are over-involved in your child's education and frequently call their teacher; you can't stop watching over your teenager.


Why parents choose this style: These parents are likely to be scared for their child's future, perhaps like tiger parents. They may not trust their child's ability to navigate the world. By hovering around they may think children will be inoculated against failing.




There's even an AskReddit devoted to the worst aspects of growing up with helicopter parents. Stories include a contributor, 21 at the time, whose father followed them to jury duty, because he didn't trust they could do it properly. It's claimed dad had a tantrum when he was kicked out by the security guard.

Snowplough or bulldozer parents

Type of parent: You push all obstacles out of your child's way. Perhaps you've nagged the principal for a different teacher or bribed the coach to get your child a place on the team.


Why parents choose this style: Maybe you think your child is exceptional, or they're too great to fail, and that's why you've identified with this parenting style. In terms of typology, there are aspects of authoritarianism in the mix as they demand success (after all, they've bulldozed all obstacles from their children's path). However, they also score highly for permissiveness.

What the research says: There's no empirical evidence either way for the snowplough approach. However, there's a lot of blog posts and media articles devoted to the topic.


Free-range parents


Who coined it? The term was made famous by a case of "neglect" against Lenore Skenazy, a former columnist who wrote about letting her nine-year-old son ride the New York subway alone. The experience led to her being labelled "America's worst mother" and prompted her to write a book. The book was about fighting the perception the world was getting more dangerous.



Pros: Children learn to use their freedom, be autonomous and manage themselves. They may also be better able to handle mistakes, be more resilient and take responsibility for their actions. It's also said to lead to happier adults.

Cons: Problems with this style centre on the legal aspects of the approach. In Queensland, it is illegal to leave your child alone for an "unreasonable" time while, in other states, parents must reasonably ensure their child is properly looked after. Queensland's law does not define "unreasonable" time, but the parent will receive a misdemeanour (up to three years in jail) if they breach the code.

Attachment or gentle parents

Type of parent: You believe that a child's earliest attachment to caregivers informs all subsequent attachments a person experiences. The argument suggests strong emotional and safe physical attachments to at least one primary caregiver are essential to the child's personal development.


Attachment theory suggests that children who develop strong bonds with parents/caregivers in the early years will have happier, healthier relationships as they age. The term was then popularised by a book dubbed the "baby bible" written by the Sears family in 1993.


Pros: It provides a safe haven of love and respect in which to build the child's relationships and from which the child can safely experience the world.

Cons: It can be conflated with permisive parenting. It is also associated, somewhat contrarily, with over-parenting, as some suggest it is a name for mothers who can't let their child go. Some have accused this style of being anti-women or anti-feminist. These authors say the style conflates women's role with motherhood, undoing the work of feminism. However, others disagree.

Rebecca English is a lecturer in Education, Queensland University of Technology.

This article was originally published on the Conversation. Read the article here.

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