Thursday, April 19, 2007

Brian Rolston paid a visit to my bedroom and I didn't even get an autograph

This morning I wake up and my wife rolls over and says, "Oh, I had the weirdest dream last night!" She's sort of giggly and smilely while she says this, so immediately I'm wondering what the hell she's going to tell me. Then she says with an even bigger smile, "I dreamt I was making out with Brian Rolston!!" She's clearly very excited about this. I ask her what "making out" means. She says, "You know, making out! Just a little fun. It was nothing serious."

Nothing serious? A little FUN??? What does that even mean? She's fantasizing about an actual person! It's not as if she's having a dream about some nameless, faceless dude. (Although that makes me wonder, is it worse if the dude is nameless and faceless because that implies some kind of unfillable void in your relationship? Or is it worse if it's an actual human because then there's an actual possibility of it happening? And if the latter is worse, should I be constantly worried about this? For example, when my wife says she's going to "run an errand," what kind of errand is she running??) If it's going to be a real person, I'd much rather it be a professional hockey player as opposed to, say, some guy I work with. That would just be creepy and awful.

Generally, it's not a good sign if your wife is having dreams or fantasies about other men...I'm told. But in this case, I wonder if it's a good omen, it being game day and all. I mean if my wife's dream about "making out" with Brian Rolston helps the Wild win tonight, I'm all for it. Plus, if she's going to "make out" with someone on the Wild it might as well be Rolston - solid player, nice enough guy, etc. If she fantasized about the following guys, I'd be pissed/worried:

  • Little PMB - He looks like he's 13. That would just be weird.

  • Pavol Demitra - He's got that unusual Eastern Euro thing going on and I find it a bit disconcerting. A guy like that should never be in your wife's dreams.

  • Boogaard - I think it's obvious why. I'm pretty sure Boogaard would put me to shame...that's all I'm going to say.

  • Marian Gaborik - You'll have to click the link to see what I'm talking about. Seriously.
I'm not really sure how to wrap this up. It's sorta weird my wife has a thing for Rolston, but it's also sorta awesome. I think he gets two tonight in a Wild victory. But if she asks me to grow a soul patch, I'll know this whole thing has gone a bit too far.


wife said...

To be fair...Rolston is way cuter when wearing a helmet and scoring goals. Besides, I didn't invite him to my dream. I blame it all on the family hockey fanatic.

Anonymous said...

All I have to say is that, if your worried about your one true love (your wife), cheating on you; then you've got some other issues. I have actully heard (and from my own experience) that when a women tells you something like that, shes so comfortable with you, she knows you wouldn't care about a silly dream like that.