Any good jokes ... ?

Discussion in 'CycleChat Cafe' started by cisamcgu, 31 May 2011.

  1. Cavalol

    Cavalol Guru

    My boss at the stencil factory once asked me to make a template for work, so next morning I went to the her house and let her tyres down.
  2. Davos87

    Davos87 Über Member

    North Yorkshire
    Knock Knock.
    Who’s There?
    It’s Grandad.
    Quick... Stop the cremation.

    * Courtesy of Harry Hiil *
    Last edited: 9 Jun 2019
    Fnaar, Kempstonian, colly and 6 others like this.
  3. betty swollocks

    betty swollocks large member

    My granny doesn't like her newly-installed stairlift.

    It's driving her up the wall.
    Fnaar, Threevok, Oldbloke and 6 others like this.
  4. betty swollocks

    betty swollocks large member

    I’ve just dropped the radio on to my toes.

    It megahertz.
    Wixsteman, Dayvo, JtB and 7 others like this.
  5. Cavalol

    Cavalol Guru

    Mr Wogan once asked me if was true that Toyah Wilcox never sang on any of her records.
    It's a myth, Terry, I replied.
  6. Paulus

    Paulus Started young, and still going.

    I went to watch an Ariana Grande tribute act the other evening, Ariana Regular. I should of known it wasn't going to be that good.
  7. Chris S

    Chris S Veteran

    I think 'Westlife' is phonetically similar to how Germans pronounce 'vest' and 'lift'.

    Bruce Willis thought it was cool to wear a vest without a shirt. I don't know why, it didn't work for Rab C. Nesbitt.
  8. colly

    colly Re member eR

    I met Jeremy Corbyn today. I told him, "Do you know my dads studied you for years. "
    He replied, "Oh is he a fan of mine?"
    I said "No, he's a "gynaecologist
  9. Cavalol

    Cavalol Guru

    Threevok, slowwww, R25 and 9 others like this.
  10. Arjimlad

    Arjimlad Tights of Cydonia

    South Glos
    :laugh: Pas d'elles yeux Rhone que-nous !
  11. AndyRM

    AndyRM XOXO

    Whitley Bay
    Truly awful. I've sent it to all my friends.
  12. Cavalol

    Cavalol Guru

    In the garden this afternoon, I absentmindedly took a swig of weedkiller instead of my beer. My missus thought it was hilarious, but I didn’t see the fungicide.
    Fnaar, Threevok, Wixsteman and 5 others like this.
  13. T4tomo

    T4tomo Veteran

    I think you'll find the wok was between you and a hard plaice.
    NorthernDave likes this.
  14. Cavalol

    Cavalol Guru

    I find it hard to let certain school traditions go.

    Every time I see a brick in a river, I dive in to retrieve it whilst wearing pyjamas.
    Fnaar, Threevok, PK99 and 4 others like this.
  15. Cavalol

    Cavalol Guru

    It's really hard to get down from an elephant.

    Most people get it from a duck.
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