Help in a crisis,  Stories of my life


I wrote this while I was in pain.

Here it is.

I get it.

I get how when the pain strikes, when you find yourself in the utmost depth of despair, it feels like it will never end.

Perhaps you’ve been in pain for years. Perhaps it feels like forever.

I get how when the pain strikes you would do anything, anything, to make it stop. Perhaps you have done some crazy, awful things, just to make the pain stop… I know I have.

Because it hurts. You don’t know what hurts, just… everything hurts.

You’re not just tired, you’re exhausted. Living is so much work… it takes so much energy just to stay alive.

Will it ever stop? It’s been going on for so long… And all you want is for the pain to stop already. For the despair and the horrific misery to be gone already…

All you want is to be happy. For one second, if you can’t be happy for longer. You just want to experience some damn happiness.

I get what it’s like because it still happens to me often.
Though less than it used to.

Because I’ve been learning how to work with my pain. How to learn from it so that I can move on.

I’m not going to lie to you. This work is not easy.
If it were, you would have cracked it already. You have been trying to get rid of your pain for ages, haven’t you? And you have probably tried everything under the Sun…

This work is extremely difficult. And it requires more patience and more commitment than you have ever practised before.
Pause for a second and think about that: you have probably never done anything harder. Ever.

But you’re a fighter. And a survivor. I know that because you have fought and survived so far.
You have gone through so much already… and you’re still here. Determined to figure this out.

This work is hard, but not as hard as enduring pain for years without a strategy to get yourself out.

Compared to that… it’s a doddle.