Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Modesty and Shame by Nouman Ali Khan

Assalamualaikum wrt.,











Now Allah says, in this ayah – He says:

وَالَّذِينَ إِذَا فَعَلُوا فَاحِشَةً


ذَكَرُوا اللَّهَ
“They immediately remembered Allah.”

They immediately remembered Allah.


فَاسْتَغْفَرُوا لِذُنُوبِهِمْ
“And immediately they asked Allah to forgive their sins.

وَمَن يَغْفِرُ الذُّنُوبَ إِلَّا اللَّهُ




وَلَمْ يُصِرُّوا عَلَىٰ مَا فَعَلُوا وَهُمْ يَعْلَمُونَ
“They didn’t insist upon what they did.”












Saturday, June 12, 2010

2 sen pertama di Malaysia..

Assalamualaikum wrt...



Anyways, menjengah2 jugak website dan artikel menarik untuk dibaca pepagi buta ni..mengisi masa terluang. menarik juga artikel terbaru Ust. Hasrizal di blognya Yang Remeh Bukan Temeh: Mulus Berbahasa.









wallahualam..2 sen pertama saya di Malaysia...

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Things that I will miss the most about USA - part 2

Assalamualaikum wrt...

OK let's continue..=)

the people..

I will definitely miss my American friends - even though not many =P..And I will definitely miss seeing American around...well, except during Friday night, and weekend night, and whenever they are not sober..=P..don't blame me.

MISG people - it's nice working with you guys..with the ups and downs we're in together..the beautiful ukhuwah will always be cherished..

to all Vandy people, I will definitely miss all 140-something of them...the Freshmen, Sophomores, Juniors...and oh, also including all the graduated super-seniors who knew me well or just so-so....and especially to my the SENIORS Class of 2010..we made it guys! We survived 4 years in USA =)..THANK YOU ALL! you guys taught me about life a lot! I mean A LOT!

Vanderbilt people...the largest Malaysian community in the USA =P

And to every single one who know me or I know them....mak cik Front Desk, Pak2 and Mak2 Guard waktu I kerja Reeve, Abang Obies, Pak Cik Ramadan, Mak Cik Rand,..I will definitely miss you guys too..haha

Featheringhill Hall a.k.a. FGH, The Engineering School

This is where the Kampung Melayu of USA is..hehe..and no, I'm not exaggerating..all 140-something Malaysians in Vanderbilt study Engineering as undergraduates. I don't know what the Mat Salehs think, seeing us in that number.. a diverse environment? competition? threatened? and I definitely have no clue why JPA and MARA keep sending large number of students to Vandy each year even though Vandy is no cheap. I mean NO CHEAP - it's a private school. oh well, in anyway, I will certainly miss this building..and also other academic buildings I've studied in (I hope I don't sound nerdy =P)

I remembered having to sneak out from a 7pm-9pm exam, to pray Maghrib at a corner of the stair. Hoping no Mat Saleh will walk by me.

And I also remembered praying jemaah with a friend at a safe corner at FGH, and turned out it wasn't safe. We heard footsteps approaching us, and stopped and then walked away..haha.

I remembered got stuck in FGH because of the tornado, 2am in the morning...

and other countless memories..

Order of Engineer Ceremony..signing the ethics oath..almost an Engineer

Working as a Front Desk Reeve =P

Besides the income, I profited a lot from this job. A good resume booster when you boost the words, all the soft skills gained and oh, I've also got used to wake up 12am or 4am in the morning and go to work. That gotta be useful one day right? =P. There's not much work for the job really, I just have to sit at the front desk and help people who needs to be helped.

While working in one of the Reeve Desk. 4pm-8pm shift

Countless good and bad memories. The bad ones are of course when I have to deal with drunk people, or rude people, or people with no patience. Oh well, people will always be people..There will be one or two security guards around during late hours, so I'm practically not alone. If I'm lucky, I'll manage to engage into beneficial conversation with the guard - interfaith issues, any issues. If I'm not lucky enough, I will have to engage into unwanted situations with the guard - unwanted long conversation when I have to study for exam, or guard who snores so loudly that I have to listen to songs so not to be awkward =P ..good memory..of course when paychecks arrive..=)))

to be continued...insyaAllah!

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Things that I will miss the most about USA - part 1

Assalamualaikum wrt..




Going on road trips with my friends..














Wednesday, April 21, 2010

High Expectations..Good? Bad?

Assalamualaikum wrt wbt...

Is it good to set high expectations?

Well, it depends for who and how high...

It's important to set high expectations for helps you to work harder, achieve higher and make fuller use of your time. You will automatically work towards meeting those expectations, thus you are becoming more motivated day by day. Setting expectations in life and meeting them will definitely help to increase self-confidence and self-esteem. With a little success, you know you are capable of achieving something and thus you wanna do more. Although, one has to be careful not to set too high expectations because it could lead to detrimental effect, especially to one's self-esteem that is when the expectations failed to be met..Setting inappropriate expectations for yourself are setting up for deduction for this issue is..general rule of thumb: set high expectations, but know where to draw the line...

One might then ask, How do we know where's the line?

The key is to challenge yourself without 'overextending' yourself. You know your capabilities, thus you can set up your own appropriate level of expectations...for example: if you usually got C's in school, don't overextend yourself to get all A's in next exam..set B's first, then when you manage to achieve it, set higher for A's.

I guess the next big question mark it appropriate to set high expectations for other people?

I don't know the answer to this question so I asked 'Sheikh Google':

Your Expectations of Others

Just as your expectations about yourself can be harmful, so too can high expectations about others. If you constantly hold others to an unattainable level of high expectations, you will constantly feel like people are letting you down. This may lead you to believe that others don't care about you or that you don't deserve the attention of friends and family members. As you start to apply manageable expectations to yourself, it will also be beneficial to do so to others.

A friend then said to me,

"don't expect much azni, dengan org slain dri sndiri takleh ada expectation tinggi. kecewa and sedih tinggi nanti..."

From now on, I should expect more of myself, and least for other person..YEaHH!!

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

dedicated to all parents and parent-to-be. Yes YOU!

Assalamualaikum wrt wbt..

I just had an emotional Sociology class today.

We were entering Chapter 13 in the book: Family. A topic which can means 'nothing' to some people, or 'something' to others..

It's definitely something to the professor...


There are 7 Competent Parenting techniques, developed by a famous person (I failed to jot down the name =P). And they are:

1- Notice what your child is doing

This essentially means - stop everything else you're busy doing, and pay undivided attention to your child, especially during their infant years, and of course during the hard years.

2- Being able to see behaviors as they emerge by keeping track behaviors across time

Again - stop what you're busy doing, and give undivided attention to your children. Most parents failed to fulfill this as they are fully-occupied with their career life. Which is wrong! Parents have to watch their child and their child's behavior. Children do not behave 'all of the sudden' without any reason. For example, children do not develop tantrum suddenly unless something is bothering them. And it is parents' responsibility to recognize this behavior, why is it occurring and treat them. Or ideally, parents have to recognize this behavior at early stage before it becomes a habit to the child. Parents can stop the tantrum from being such and lead the energy to something positive. All of these require undivided attention from the parents.

3- Act as you want your child to act, and don't act as you don't want your child to act

Children copy what their parents do and say. Parenting doesn't mean you have the privilege to do whatever you want to do when you're not allowed to when you were children. If you expect you children not to do something, then you don't do it, or at least don't do it in front of them (sounds hypocrite a bit). Even if it is allowed for them to do it as they get older, children don't know this and they don't wait. The professor gave example of drugs and alcohol. Many cases showed that children had their first drink not from their friends, but straight from home - their parents' drugs and alcohol. Similarly, do we expect our children to be polite and behave when we were screaming and yelling and behave oppositely as we expect them to be? Many said parenting is about disciplining the children. NO it is NOT. It is about disciplining the parents.

4 - Set realistic expectations that are age-appropriate for the child

This is important. We don't put too high bars which are inappropriate to our child's age and capability, else they will be confused, exhausted and creates disappointment. However if we put too low expectations, we are almost setting them up for failure. Putting expectations on children are like saying 'I trust you', 'I know you can do this', 'I think you are a responsible person'. It creates countless opportunity to children in developing their interpersonal skills.

5- Correct children when they don't meet our expectations

When our children did not meet our expectations, it is important that we let them know. We don't punish them physically or emotionally, instead we correct them. Ideally, the term 'spare the rod, spoil the child does not applied here. The professor gave a story of how a shepherd guards his sheep.

A flock of sheep has a guide animal in front of the group where the flock follows wherever it goes. The shepherd will usually stand in the middle or at the back of the flock, and holds a shepherd's rod. He uses this rod to touch the guide animal, at its left side or right side so it will go to that direction and the flock will follow. This is how the shepherd guides his flock of sheep. Now, imagine if he hits the guide animal with this rod. The guide animal will be scared and run away. And what happens to the flock? They will scatter away --exactly what will happen to children if we hit them.

If a child was hit, he will be scared and tend to conceal his behaviors from you. When this happen, you will not know their true behavior and thus you are not able to correct them. If you make mistake, which you will always do, humble yourself to your child and ask for forgiveness, and never do it again. A child remembers.

6- Affirm children when they meet our expectations

When children meets our expectations, we acknowledge them by reward. A reward doesn't have to be stuff, a reward is more rewarding by showing emotions. Say 'Good job', 'Keep it up', 'I am proud of you'. Children appreciate these words a lot compared to tangible stuff. I agree with this 200%

7- Deal with your child at THE moment (immediate), act as it never happen

If anything happens to your children, your children did something, good or bad, you have to deal with them at the moment. Correct them, and act as it never happen. And if something similar to it happen again which it will always do, do not say the past. The past is past. Don't say to them 'you did this yesterday, 5 days ago, last year..'. Just deal with the issue at that moment, and redeem.


Why did I say it's an emotional class?

Because the professor broke down and cried at point no. 5 until the end of class.

She lost her only son. He died at least 1 year back.

Seeing her like that, and anything about family always breaks my heart - I broke down into tears also..

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Self-reflective psychology

A very reflective speech by Sheikh Yassir Fazaga, about self-image psychology.

How we feel about ourselves determine how other people feels about us.

I loved lectures delivered by Sheikh Yassir Fazaga. Always on the point.

Try searching for others on Youtube.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

My 8 hours diary..

Assalamualaikum wrt..

I am working 2 shifts back-to-back now, that means 8 hours straight from 12am to 8am..I don't know if I could manage it, but I know somehow I should. I don't want to make the hours go by empty, so I decided to make it beneficial by jotting down what I did and share it with you guys...Mind you, that these aren't my usual routine. The intention of this sharing is purely to encourage myself to be productive and to benefit everyone who read this post..and yeah, I'm also trying to stay awake...

so here goes...

12.13am - Arrived to work. yeah..13 minutes late. I was lucky enough to get to go to work by car tonight, a friend was nice enough to lend me her car (actually she did not enjoy parking it at the garage, so she let me use the car instead. hehe). Unlucky for me though, only a few seconds away from Hank Ingram (my workplace), suddenly I saw in the rear view mirror, a glance of the unpleasantly familiar flashing blue light. Dang right it was the po po..Winding down my mirror, a young female police officer flashed her torchlight towards my face and said, "Ma'am, your brake light wasn't working. Can I see your license please..". With a sigh of relief, I handed my license coolly. The reason was expected, but the timing of such occurrence was not looked forward. I was late for work! But thank you Allah, I got out of the situation financially unharmed =)

(p/s: to the owners of the car, jangan marah eh I cerita ni kat sini..I love you girls so much la..=D)

12.30am-1.00am - Facebooking

1.00am-2.20am - I was blog-hopping from one blog to another. And I found this posted in one of my friend's..It's a khutbah delivered by my all-time favorite sheikh, Sheikh Yasir Qadhi. It was breathtaking as usual..

Some notes that I managed to jot down:

If you ask people what they want the most in life, they would say - Happiness. When we felt uneasy, have problems in life, we have to turn to Allah by worshiping Him, not turning to dunya. For example, when we came back from work and stressed out, we usually turn on the tv, get into social talk, or even backbiting, or visit other people. The things we did, might be haraam might be makruh..Compare this with the sirah of the prophet SAW, when problems afflicted him, he would RUSH to stand up and pray. He once said to bilaal "..oh Bilaal, we want to taste the sweetness of the prayer, do iqaamah quick..".

Once, Hassan Al Basri said, "..Seek happiness in life with one of 3 things - recitation of quran, zikir to Allah and in the solah. If you still do not find happiness, then the door of happiness has been shut for you, there is no other place to attain happiness..".

"There is a jannah in this world, the only way to enter jannah in the hereafter, is to enter the jannah in this world, and that the jannah in this world is the worship to Allah.."

[13:28] "Only through the rememberance of Allah, do hearts find rests.."

When we do good deeds, we are happy. ex: after we fast, after waking up for fajar, after reciting quran -- we tasted happiness. And the converse is also true - when we do sins, (and we always do), we feel that we become farther from Allah, changed our relationship with Allah. The only way to reach tranquility is to worship Allah.

Why do we let the world to seduce us? How many lectures, khutbah and nasihahs have to be told, so that we know? Tomorrow will never always arrive, what else do we need to convince us? How can we ask Allah for help when we don't deserved to be helped? For the sake of Allah, we must change, NOW, because we don't know if there is tomorrow...

We have to ask ourselves, "..what am I doing here? Allah SWT has given me 30, 40,50, 60 years to live." Ponder then act. Improve your life to be better. Only then we will reach tranquility, insyaAllah...

2.20am-2.45am - A few minutes before I found the video, I read this article in Suhaib Webb's blog, the post was about 'How to Taste Sweetness in Solat'..

It was so reflecting and coincidently relevant to the video, I encouraged all to read it. An interesting story I excerpted from the article:

The Story of the Ansari and theMuhajir

In the sunan of Abu Dawud, it is narrated with a hasan (good) chain that in one of the battles, the Prophet ﷺ appointed two guards, one from theMuhajiroon and one from the Ansar. At one point, the Ansari got up to pray while the man from the Muhajiroon reclined in order to have a nap. A man from the mushrikeen(disbelievers) who was close by saw this, and fired a small arrow at the Ansari who was praying. It hit him, but the Ansari, with some difficulty, removed the arrow and continued praying as the blood seeped from him. The mushrik, upon seeing this, fired another arrow. The Ansari was able to remove it also and continued praying. However, the Ansari could not stand the pain of the third arrow and fell into rukoo’ (bowing) and sujood(prostration), and this is when the man of the Muhajiroon woke up, seeing his friend seeping with blood. Upon seeing this, the mushrik fled. “SubhanAllah! (Glory be to Allah!) Why didn’t you alert me when he first hit you?!” the Muhajir exclaimed. The reply of the Ansari was, “I was reciting a surah (chapter of the Qur’an) that I love, and I did not like to cut it off.” Allahu Akbar (Allah is great!) Imagine this person’s state in the salah(prayer).

I was also listening to this song (over and over again =P) when I read the article.. I was currently addicted to the song..(janji tau jangan gelak bila dengar..=P)

hehe =D

2.45am-3.00am - Facebooking again..

3.00am-3.45am - doing absolutely nothing....can't stop yawning . ok dah penat. but just half way way through. how lah? =P

3.45am - I decided to browse through some universities' website while listening to nasyid songs.. (mostly Mirwana's =P..I wish I have their new album...hmm..)

I also found this article from a friend's FB (ops..FB again =P). It's about 'Signs of the Munafiquun'. A must-read article. Short, sweet and a bit scary I guess...let's go through the checklist:

4.40am - A friend at the other side of the world was kind enough to let me join an usrah online yang dia attended. dengar through skype dia ajelah the beginning, they discussed Surah Al-Mursalat [77:1-end]. Later, they were talking about 'Hizbullah yg sempurna dan lengkap'....quite a heavy topic for me..usrah peringkat tinggi ni..=P.but anyhow, I gained something from the session.

My messy note:

Ciri-ciri hizbullah: [Al-Maidah:54], ciri-ciri kepimpinan (sama seperti sifat Rasulullah)- Siddiq (membenarkan), Amanah, Tabligh (menyampaikan), Fatanah (bijaksana-softskill), ciri-ciri ahli syura: pengetahuan menyeluruh dgn kitab Allah dan sunnah disertai kesedaran dan pengalaman semasa. ciri-ciri tentera Allah (jundullah): kefahaman, taqwa (tasawwuf, tazkiyyatunnafs), taat (haraqi). Pemimpin bertanggungjawab memimpin ke arah kefahaman.

Kisah Hatib bin Abi Balta'ah, sahabat yang mendedahkan rahsia jemaah- menulis surat kepada kaum Quraisy di Makkah memberitahu perancangan Rasulullah s.a.w. untuk menyerang kaum musyrikin Quraisy secara mengejut. Ijtihad pada waktu tu tak melabel dia sebagai munafik kerana niatnya bukan utk menghancurkan Islam, tapi melindungi ahli keluarganya dari kaum Quraisy.

There were lengthy discussions that I didn't jot down, either I didn't catch it, the contents were too confidential or simply I was too lazy and too sleepy to type it in...=/

6.20am - My eyelids were getting heavier and heavier and heavier and heavier......("~_~). Chatted with mom and friends to avoid sleeping...

7.36am - As always, the final hour always feel like the longest one. hmm...

8.00am - DONE! Alhamdulillah! =)

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