Mullet Classifications

Wanted to take a lighter-side look at a hairstyle a few peeps take just a little too seriously: The Mullet.

Courtesy of Mullets Galore comes the following classifications of Mulletude:

1. classic mullet: this specimen is a clear demonstration of a classic mullet.

Note how this mullet proudly displays his exotic plumage while in a menacing stance. Classic indeed.

The mesh tank top, digital watch, silver chain, and molester mustache all add points to this fine specimen’s overall look and mulletude.

Mulletude: 10
Aggressiveness: 10
Hobbies: football games, wife beating, picking fights.
Sightings: everywhere, there’s no escape.
Favorite Band: Steve Miller Band


2. CamaroMullet: The CamaroMullet used to have full reign over the mullet brethren, but that was back in the 70’s and 80’s. This species has fallen from grace since, but can still be seen enjoying NASCAR events and shopping at Kragen, or up in the attic cooking up crank.

Distinguishing features include: a molester mustache (peach fuzzy), tight-fitting acid wash jeans, and an ever present key ring hanging from the belt loop. Feel the mulletude emanating through your computer screen from this rare pic.

It is not recommended you confront the CamaroMullet, for they are very aggressive and cannot be hurt (this might be due to the frequent use of methamphetamines, angel dust, etc.).

Mulletude: 10
Aggressiveness: 10
Hobbies: primering cars, bar fights, picking scabs, losing teeth.
Sightings: Kragen, Grand Auto, working on a Camaro on their front lawn.
Favorite Band: AC DC


3. midgiemullet: Midgiemullets have the highest MPSI (mulletude per square inch) rating within their species (mulleticuscamarocus).

Irish folklore has it that if you caress the midgiemullet 3 times, you will be blessed with a case and a half of Pabst Blue Ribbon on your doorstep within the next 48 hours.

Extra points for the mustache, gold chain, and the revealing of the chest.

Mulletude: 10
Aggressiveness: 10
Hobbies: taunting non-mullets, being tossed and bowled.
Sightings: kicking my ass.
Favorite Band: Kid Rock

*picture modified over 50%