He's Four, but he's a Driver

The news that a four year old Michigan boy stole mom’s car and drove it to the video store caught my eye; he made it to the store, but on the way home drew the attention of an alert police officer( man, that’s a short driver). The boy collided with the patrol car at the foot of mom’s driveway when he put the car into reverse. All ended well after the officer removed the car keys. This was no simple joy ride; what would compel a four year old to don winter clothing, swipe the car, and drive to the video store? Branded content. His mother had taken away his video games in the wake of a previous undisclosed infraction(insider trading?). Precocious and certainly dedicated he was off in search of replacements in the hopes of forestalling parental intervention.

Left unsaid is whether a video store employee would actually wait on a four year old. They’re always asking me for my driver’s license; maybe if you park the car in the lobby they’ll skip the formalities, and just deliver the goods. Sure he’s paying with rocks and dessicated Cheerios but, what the heck, he’s only four.