My internet travels this past week sucked. My typical go to sites feature news, politics, sports, science along with various other interests. Sometimes the mainstreams usual conservative-liberal-racism-shootings-police brutality-war, what some evangelical said, stories can get tiresome. To ease and distract my mind, I try to hit up non-gossip pop culture, sci-fi, nature, fitness and LGBT websites. The problem is that many of the LGBT sites add to my frustrations just as much as the typical mainstream sites do.

I once saw a white gay debating a black gay on a message board. The debate was concerning black gays having separate or distinguished Pride celebrations from the more popular mainstream city/state sponsored celebrations. The white gay was saying the black gays were separating themselves and the black gay was stating blacks don’t feel a part of or feel less included within the mainstream city/state sponsored Pride celebrations. It reminded me of the ongoing “why is there a BET?” argument. I mention this because of my feelings and reactions I have when visiting many mainstream LGBT websites. There are a couple of things that always stick out to me:

1. I don’t see many men who look like me or any other persons of color.
2. Usually when there is a non-white face (which isn’t that often) it’s a random model on a run way, Jason Collins, Don Lemon, Ru Paul, Laverne Cox, Wanda Sykes or Michael Sam.
3. Usually when a non-celeb black face is present, it’s concerning an anti-LGBT pastor, HIV/AIDS or some anti-LGBT African country. This is really annoying.
4. You are bombarded with Marriage Equality and the term “queer”.
5. There is an abundance of articles about femininity equals bravery and strength but the majority of time (what seems like 99% of the time) when masculinity is the topic of an article, its always discussed as a problematic negative “thing” that’s need to be re-examined, redefined and is a divisive thorn in the side of LGBT progression. Embracing femininity and or wanting to be a transgender woman is good but embracing and celebrating one’s masculinity is bad. You can barely utter the word “masculine” without invoking some sort of adverse or negative reaction within the gay community.
6. The majority of the content doesn’t interest me. The LGBT community via many of these sites exists in a vacuum of flamboyancy, gossip, divas, men in drag, Pride parades, abs, underwear, twinks, fashion and the aforementioned Marriage Equality. There are so many feminine and masculine gay men who are so much more than this!

Hoping for some relief, I go over to the LGBT sites that lean towards persons of color and for the most part it’s more of the same. What I think is worse when it comes to many of these sites is that I feel like a Queer Studies class being taught at “anywhere university USA” had sex with a James Baldwin understudy and birthed out these black gays who talk at you because you need to be enlightened; all the while making sure a touch of “shade” and “reading” is added. Words and phrases like, hetero-normative, misogyny, patriarchy, queer, feminism, gender identity, homophobia, transphobia are overused and misused just so you can know they graduated and or at least attended. They (meaning many of the authors and bloggers on these websites) come off as if “living in your truth” is okay, as long as the truth is from a feminine perspective.

Maybe it’s just me. Maybe I’m just like how my business partner describes me, in that I think everything is “shit”. At any rate, I do know that when I begin to feel overwhelmed or should I say underwhelmed from the “shit”, its time disconnect and take a break. I’m going on an internet diet and I’m going to flush the toxins from my mental system.


…I’ll start tomorrow.