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I'm living in your letters.. Breathe deeply from this envelope

Wednesday, March 31st, 2004

Time Event
so i saw you with her today.its so insane how you think it woudldnt bother me.and then tell me that i mean the world to you.i dont want to be mean to her.thats all you told me.then dont let her do it.youre manipulative.i know that.but still i believe you.i dont know why.maybe because i am so mindfucked by you.all i know is that i want to be through with you.i want to be done with everything negative and youre the biggest negative.yet somehow my so called animosity fails.and ill always be there.this letter is as pointless as everything you say.
dear you

my angel came &told me my fate
said i would die in less than a day
she sat &explained hate &pain
&how we've all grown so vein

I think she spoke about you.

I hate you. More than ever right now.

I don't know why it is your purpose to make me unhappy or move in on my shit. You've always been this way since.. well.. forever. You ruined it. I left &then you stared getting back into my life again.

Friends don't do that. Friends don't put other people down. Friends don't fake self harm for attention. Friends don't lie about serious issues like Bulimia and Anorexia for sympathy. Friends don't pull the people their friends like out of respect. It didn't matter that I had said nothing can happen 'cause I still liked him. You knew that, but you did it anyway. It doesn't matter now 'cause me &him, we sorted it. You have problems. You need to get them sorted before we can be friends ever again.

I won't let you bring me down because I'm so much better than that now. I'm so much more stronger &confident &I feel like my own person now. I'm not closed up &a little trail-behind like I was.

I have friends now that respect me &love me just because they do, not for the hot people I know ¬ for any of the reasons we were friends for.

You rub so much SHIT in my face. I don't know why I took it for so long. I wish. I wish none of it had happened. You're kiniving &I don't need that around me. You're full of such negativity &eugch. I can't even describe why you fuck me off anymore.

I don't need you around. I need people who want to be around me because they like me as a person not because I'm rebelious.

So, "babe", "sweetie", "hun", this is my big "FUCK YOU" send off. The one you deserve.

I'm sorry, but it just doesn't work the way you want it too.

true from the ♥ x

Current Mood: contemplative

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