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Lightning Fill In The Blank



BILL KURTIS: Roy and Helen each have 3. Alonzo has 2.

SAGAL: Alonzo, you are in third place, so you're up first. were a person. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. This week, U.S. health officials reported the first domestic of blank transmission.

ALONZO BODDEN: The Zika virus?

SAGAL: Right.


SAGAL: On Thursday, a grand jury indicted 16 people involved in the occupation of a wildlife refuge in blank.

BODDEN: Oregon.

SAGAL: Right.


SAGAL: This week, Martin O'Malley, Mike Huckabee and Rand Paul all blanked.

BODDEN: Dropped out of the race.

SAGAL: Yes, they suspended their campaigns.


SAGAL: This week, Subway restaurants announced that their famous without the $5 footlongs are now blank.

BODDEN: Six dollars?

SAGAL: Yes, indeed.


SAGAL: Toyota announced it was discontinuing its blank line of cars.

BODDEN: Scion.

SAGAL: Right.


SAGAL: On Wednesday, Sumner Redstone announced he was stepping down as the executive chairman of blank.

BODDEN: Viacom?

SAGAL: Yes, Viacom - CBS.


SAGAL: A uniformed British police officer on patrol Saturday...


SAGAL: ...Fled in a panic after he was mistaken for blank.

BODDEN: Criminal?

SAGAL: No. He fled when he was mistaken for a stripper at a 50-year-old's birthday party.



BODDEN: I've had that problem.

SAGAL: Oh, I bet you have, actually. I strangely have not. Mike Ober was walking his weekend beat when he decided to investigate an open door at a social club. And he barely made it inside before a group of middle-aged women started screaming are you the strippergram? Mike said he felt flattered but less so after the women admitted they had already made the same mistake with the building's janitor, the UPS delivery driver and a sexy firefighter.


SAGAL: Bill, how did Alonzo do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Well, Alonzo got six right, 12 more points. He now leads with a total of 14.

SAGAL: All right.


SAGAL: All right, we have flipped a coin. Helen has elected to go next. Helen, fill in the blank. This week, a U.N. panel ruled that WikiLeaks founder blank was being arbitrarily detained in at London's...

HONG: Julian...

SAGAL: ...Ecuadoran embassy.

HONG: Julian Assange.



SAGAL: On Monday, the White House proposed spending $1 billion to fund blank research.

HONG: Cancer.

SAGAL: Right.


SAGAL: According to a new report, Americans spend more on blank than on Doritos, Cheetos and Funyuns combined.

HONG: Potato chips.

SAGAL: No, legal pot. This week...

HONG: What?



SAGAL: This week, New York real estate heir and subject of "The Jinx" blank pleaded guilty to illegally possessing a firearm.

HONG: Ooh, Robert Durst.

SAGAL: Right. On Thursday...


HONG: ...Playboy announced that their first ever nonblank centerfold will be model Sarah McDaniel.

HONG: Non-nude.

SAGAL: Non-nude, yes.


HONG: I wanted that.

SAGAL: You wanted that job?

HONG: Yes.

SAGAL: Jurors in Mississippi were taken aback when the phone number...


SAGAL: ...On their summons connected them to blank.

HONG: The sex hotline.

SAGAL: Exactly right, what else?


SAGAL: Three-hundred-and-fifty jury summons were mistakenly printed with the number to phone as a sex line, leading to potential jurors having to deliberate between pressing one for hot girls or two for hot guys. Some jurors went back and redialed the number thinking they must have made a mistake. Others redialed the number overjoyed that somebody else had made the mistake.


SAGAL: Bill, how did Helen do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Helen got five right, 10 more points, total of 13 but still trailing Alonzo.

SAGAL: All right, therefore how many does Roy need to win?

KURTIS: Six to win.

SAGAL: Here we go, Roy. This is for the game. This week, The New York Times endorsed potential nominees John Kasich and blank.

ROY BLOUNT, JR.: Hillary Clinton.

SAGAL: Yes, indeed.


SAGAL: On Tuesday, Pennsylvania groundhog Punxsutawney Phil blanked.

BLOUNT: Did not see his shadow.

SAGAL: You are right.


SAGAL: During his first ever visit to a U.S. mosque, blank condemned anti-Muslim intolerance.

BLOUNT: President Obama.

SAGAL: Indeed.


SAGAL: Three years after his last arrest, Iowa resident blank once again found himself in jail on Monday.

BLOUNT: Some random Iowa resident?


BLOUNT: You think I keep up with everybody in Iowa?

SAGAL: You might keep up with this guy.

BLOUNT: This guy, Iowa resident - Mr. Charles Petrie III (ph).



HONG: It was a man named Beezow Doo-doo Zopittybop-bop-bop...

SAGAL: Oh, yeah. Oh...

HONG: What?

SAGAL: You've heard of him. On Tuesday, Google's parent company Alphabet overtook blank to become the world's most valuable corporation.

BLOUNT: Apple.

SAGAL: Right.


SAGAL: This week, Bob Elliot, best known for his role in the comedy duo blank, passed away at the age of 92.

BLOUNT: Bob and Ray...

SAGAL: Yes...

BLOUNT: ...Rest in peace.


SAGAL: ...Indeed. A California man who called police to say he was...


SAGAL: ...Being carjacked was later himself arrested when the carjacker turned out to be blank.

BLOUNT: Turned out to be himself.

SAGAL: No, turned out to be a pile of tools in a bucket inside a sweatshirt.


SAGAL: So police get the call, they approach the vehicle. They could see a human shape sitting in the car's passenger seat. They thought that was the carjacker. They attempted to rouse him with an air horn and a loudspeaker. But when he didn't move, they moved in with guns and they discovered that they had cornered a pile of tools and a bucket tucked under a sweatshirt. They arrested the guy who called in the carjacking for being under the influence...


SAGAL: ...Which means the tool bucket is free to terrorize again.


SAGAL: Bill, did Roy do well enough to win?

KURTIS: He was competitive. He got five write for 10 more points, a total of 13. But he couldn't catch Alonzo, who's this week's champion.

SAGAL: Very well done, Alonzo.


SAGAL: In just a minute, we're going to ask our panelists to predict what will be the big surprise out of Super Bowl 50 this weekend. WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Haircut Productions. Doug It's Saturday I Tell You, Saturday Berman, benevolent overlord. Philipp Goedicke writes our limericks. Our house manager is Don Hall, to whom we wish the happiest of birthdays. Assistant house manager is Tyler Greene. Our intern is Is-You-Is-Or-Isyouabel Robertson (ph). Our web guru is Beth Novey. Special thanks to our crew at Chase Bank. B.J. Leiderman composed our theme. Our program is produced by Miles Doornbos and Maureen Monahan (ph). Technical direction is from order Lorna White. Our CFO is Ann Nguyen. Our production coordinator's Robert Newhouse. Our senior producer is Ian Chillag. And the executive producer of WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME is Mr. Michael Danforth. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.
