Friday, September 19, 2008

Gordon's Message to Conference Delegates

Gordon Brown has just published a letter to all Labour conference delegates, which The Guardian has kindly published HERE. I am assuming he didn't write a word of it, as most of it is ungrammatical gibberish. I also assume he didn't see it before it went out, as he would surely have frantically scribbled on it: REWRITE NEEDED. But if he didn't see it, why not? After the debacle last week over the article in PARLIAMENTARY MONITOR, you would have thought a few lessons had been learned in Number Ten. It seems not.


Anonymous said...

I am puzzled. Why do you assume that Gordon Brown does not ever write ungrammatical gibberish?

Anonymous said...

So 'fair' is to be next week's turgidly repetitive leitmotif, is it? Let's count how many times we hear it from the platform. Harpie to say it most often, or Brown himself?

Unsworth said...

Why do you make that assumption? It's exactly the same sort of garbled nonsense that he spouts all the time.

This is the very best that he can offer.

Tragic, really.

Anonymous said...

The help is too late for some.

On Monday alone this week, 28 repossession orders were granted by the court in Guildford.

Middle class homelessness is certain to surge- and where do families go given that Tory controlled councils are very cash strapped as a result of deliberate government policy?

Anonymous said...

Very poor, but what is one ot expect?

Anonymous said...

That's not a letter to the delegates, it is a list of why "Gordon is good, Cameron is bad". It is advertising for heaven's sake. It is a flyer which is about an inch from being a CV.

I live about 20 minutes from their conference centre. I'm tempted to go up and hurl some verbal abuse at them, but I'd only get arrested as a threat to National Security.

Anonymous said...

I read this with growing astonishment. Is this really how our so-called Prime Minister thinks - in ungrammatical, incorrectly punctuated, incoherent, incomprehensible catchphrases? Was he never taught how to write in plain English or how to construct a logical argument?

But never mind, because as I soon realised, the only plausible explanation is that it's a spoof. Someone at Private Eye has been having a laugh.

Windsor Tripehound said...

All that's missing is "then we'll nail jelly to the ceiling".

George Orwell wrote an essay about the language of the left. It has a syntax and vocabulary all of its own, totally different to the way normal people speak or write.

Anonymous said...

Gordon Brown doesnt know anything about English Grammar, you only have to losten to the Gibberish when he gives a speech, the 1000word sentences, the starting of a sentence with "And".

If you read this you can almost hear him speaking it! More tripe from the scottish snot gobbler.

Anonymous said...

Written by David Muir
with contributions from Gordon, and the rest of those in Number 10

John Pickworth said...

At last...

The Great Leader's Vision is revealed!


Is this it? Is this what we've waited over a year for?

Praise be the great Gordon :)

Anonymous said...

its the sort of quality that came out of Hitlers Berlin bunker just before the end.

Wrinkled Weasel said...

A very poor, indeed piss poor missive. It completely fails to address the mood of the nation. And lacks definition, which is everything. Using a word like "fair" is meaningless in this or any context. It lends it self to latent ambiguity – such as in the word “referendum” or “WMD” or “Thermobaric”. (This government has retrospectively re-defined the meaning in these three examples.) “Equality” also springs to mind.

If I was Prime Minister (heheheh!) I would immediately commission an audit of public spending. I would get a list drawn up of all the departmental initiatives that spend money on loony ideas and get a major accounting firm to audit them. They would find, quite easily I think, that this government is throwing away our money on half-baked schemes that come to nothing, such as little Hazelnut's plan to spend £70 million on helping "community cohesion" amongst Muslims. (There must be a thousand such crackpot operations up and down the realm.)I would ask it to challenge the £500 Million plus that is going into the pockets of PFI hospital contractors, each year.

I would have a defining question for this audit, which would be, "By whose writ?"

A writ in law requires strict definition. It requires justification. It requires judgment and common consus. Indistinct and misleading use of words like "fair", I am afraid, do not cut it and, as a predicate of public spending are a recipe for the writing of sheaves of blank cheques from our bank accounts.

Anonymous said...

The party brief is: "Decisively, he decided to write it and then did so decisively. Did I mention he's decisive?"

If he writes rubbish nobody dares correct him any more in case he interprets it as an attack on his leadership and 'phones' them.

Now test the cyanide on your dog, Gordon.