How to handle an upset child

Daniel Siegel, MD, shares advice for parents on how to turn a situation in which your child is upset into a learning opportunity
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How to handle an upset child

You know, we often want to deny what's going on and move on and just kind of dismiss everything that's happening. But in fact teaching our child, even if they have done a behavior that was breaking some boundaries, is all about what's called discipline. And the word discipline really means to teach. If you remember as a parent that the main thing you are teaching your child is how to have mind sight, how to understand the inner nature, what's going on. Then instead of denying and dismissing, you can actually teach them how to look at the inner experiences they had. What were the feelings that got them to break a rule? Did they think about what the consequence would be? Did they understand after they broke the rule what might happen? And so even though you might set up a consequence for them, you are actually also teaching them at the same time, to understand the mind that drove their behavior. In the end that's the gift you want to give your child; a deep understanding that while they need the structure that you provide for sure, you also want to give them the mind sight skills that allow them to understand themselves, so that they can go out into the world with a lot of strength.



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Daniel J. Siegel, MD

Neuropsychiatrist, New York Times Bestselling Author, and Mindsight Educator






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