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Reviewed by: Amy W. Anzilotti, MD
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My boyfriend has already had sex and oral sex with multiple partners. I think we're ready to have sex, but I'm nervous that I will get pregnant or get an STD. How can I prevent these? Also how can I tell if he has an STD without asking him?




It’s important for people to get checked anytime they have a new partner. Lots of people have this conversation with their partners. Still, it's normal to be nervous when you first start talking. If your boyfriend cares, he'll want to help you feel comfortable in your relationship. Most people admire partners who respect themselves enough to protect their own health, even if it means asking tough questions.

There's no way to tell by looking if a person has an STD — even people who have STDs sometimes don't know it. If you have had sex before, you and your boyfriend can get tested together at a local health clinic like Planned Parenthood. Or, if you haven’t had sex before, you can offer to go with your boyfriend for support if he wants. While you're there, ask for advice on birth control, since there's still a chance you can get pregnant even while using condoms.

Testing is easy and usually inexpensive (some states even have free testing programs). Testing for the most common STDs can now be done with just a urine (pee) sample. There's one thing to remember when getting tested, though: the tests don’t check for every STD. So keep using condoms every time you have sex.

*Names have been changed to protect user privacy.

Reviewed by: Amy W. Anzilotti, MD
Date reviewed: November 2020