Posts Tagged ‘God’s design for marriage’

Trailer Trash

Thursday, July 24th, 2014

proverbs 27 7

Well, it's here.  The day we all knew was coming.  The day of the release of the ever so popular Fifty Shades erotica movie trailer.  I couldn't be more excited!  Before you get your blood pressure up and say, "Huh? What?  You?  Excited for lady porn?" let me assure you…..I'm not excited about the movie trailer hitting the scene.  I'm excited to share my heart as to why this kind of book/movie/fantasy play is dangerous!

It's already started.  My Facebook feed is lighting up with postings from young women linking to the ever so anticipated movie trailer.  I expect that it will only get worse as the day goes on and the poster's will not only be young women but women of all ages.  Because, you know… is so innocent and all.

Women have bought the lie!

Erotica is not innocent.  It is not harmless.  It isn't JUST AN ESCAPE or a booster for your love life.  Matter of fact, it's quite the opposite.  Just as porn isn't healthy for a man neither is women's erotica for a woman.  For both, it gives the reader a false sense of reality!  Most of us recognize that fantasy play can set us up for disappointment.  But what I've read, heard and observed over the last year or more regarding FS is that women are justifying the fantasy in that if it makes your sex life come alive….what harm can it be?  I find that crazy mainly because…as women, if the roles were reversed and it was a husband buried deep in a thrilling sexually stimulating book series the chances of it being a boost {for her} are pretty low.

I think most women….would feel inadequate, embarrassed or even angry that a book or movie full of S & M, bondage and manipulation was the key to her man's desire for her.

Perhaps I'm all wrong, but I don't think so!

Speaking from a woman's point of view and I realize that's all I have because I'm a chick….I can't think of anything more humiliating than for my husband to be wrapped up in a book/movie series that opens up his fantasy thoughts to forcing me into sexually manipulative behaviors (in order for our sex life to be "good"!) or insisting that I call him Master or to be so submissive that I can't look him in the eye, all in the name of kicking things up a notch in our marriage.  Naah, I don't think it would be a boost for me!

But here we are on the release day of this mega million dollar "love" instigator and the excitement among its readers will be off the charts!  In a world so on fire right now for WOMENS RIGHTS or GIRL POWER, this, is what everyone's so hyped up about?  Submission of the highest kind?  Calling it a love story is even more confusing!  Strangely, pain never need accompany love for me.  I don't associate my husband's love for me by him wielding his power or authority over me or hurting me during sex.  None of that makes me feel sexy or desirable.  It disturbs me!

So, what about all the young women who are falling for this as a way to show "love" in their relationships?  I say relationships because for many, sex isn't a sacred gift used within the confines of marriage.  It is a part of their lifestyle and is freely shared with usually more than one partner over the course of their lives.  More reason for the need to "make it spicier" than it was with another lover.  What harm is it (Fifty Shades) for them?

Again, I point you back to the story and ask, "Who finds a man that is sado-masochistic, twisted emotionally & sexually, domineering and into hitting…..a genuine source for love?".  The male character of the books has a deeply troubled past and an unsatiable desire for dark impure pleasures which he in turn uses to exploit her physically and emotionally.  Awesome, right?  As a mother to two college aged daughters….just what I DON'T hope for, for either of them.  I've prayed for both of my girl's over the course of their young lives and at the top of my prayer list has always been a Godly man with a pure heart.  One with a heart that would only have their best interest in mind and a love like is found in Song of Solomon.  A desire born out of a passion filtered through the joy and excitement given by God for each to enjoy through MARRIAGE!

Proverbs 5:19 commands us to be "intoxicated" or "captivated" in our love for each other.  1 Corinthian 7 says to let our bodies fill US with delight and to SATISFY one another….wives give full authority over her body to her husband and the husband the same to his wife, no depriving one another of that joy.  Sex is a beautiful blessing INSIDE OF MARRIAGE!  It was never designed to be vulgar, abusive or crude.  God's idea of intimacy is much different than what is depicted in Fifty Shades.  For young women, this whole premice gives a jaded view of what love & real intimacy truly are.

1 Corinthians 6:12 warns us, "You may say, 'But I am allowed to do anything', but I reply that NOT everything is good for you….you MUST NOT become a slave to anything".   For each of us that is a loving reminder that it's important to filter everything we do, say or seek out through God's Word.  Is it good for me?  Is it harmful?  Is it Holy?  Not many are concerned with seeking out God's holiness for their lives….but they should be!  Those instructions weren't given just to rob us of any FUN.  They were put in place to protect us.  Which brings me back to whether or not Fifty Shades is harmful, I believe that it is.  It's giving the impressionable readers a distorted view of what real love and intimacy is within relationships.

I can't force or influence a single person to NOT read the books or go see the movie, however….I can tell you why I believe they are trash.  They are filled with lust, violence and debaucherous actions done in a hidden dungeon where HIS fantasies are sought out at her expense.  What woman finds that appealing?  Really appealing?  How does that fill her heart with satisfaction?  How does that empower her to be all that God has called her to be?  How does that spur her on to feel loved and treasured?  For me, it doesn't even come close!

So, be prepared.  You're going to see Facebook, Twitter, television… shows all squealing with delight over the hot new release of this phenom.  Be prepared to handle all that its power of influence holds over millions of women.  Don't be afraid to deny yourself the pleasure of joining in….remember, what we put into our minds and hearts rules us.  Fill your life with good things, Phil. 4:8  "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things".  Fix your eyes on those things!  I promise, none of those things will hurt you!


My heart aches for those caught up in believing that a source like Fifty Shades is a picture of love and intimacy.  I pray for the hearts and minds of women everywhere that YOUR TRUTH would prevail over each of them and that FS would be revealed as the trash it truly is.  The enemy has found a foothold into many lives through this book & movie and I know this was never your design for love.