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“I'm lovin' it!

~ Tamia

Buttsecks (sometimes spelled in original German as Der Büchtsechs) describes the action of one person inserting his/her/its butt inside another's person butt. To human knowledge, this feat has never been achieved without at least one of the two parties involved losing her/his/its life during the intercourse. This is why buttsecksing somebody is often associated with necrophilia and dead rats.

History of Buttsecks[edit]

Some buttsecks

Isaac Newton laid down the fundamentals of the modern laws of buttsecks in 1674. Some believe that he may have got the idea of buttsecks when wandering around in a park, and received an Apple on his forehead from Steve Jobs. When regaining consciousness, he had the sudden urge to perform the buttsecks to someone. When he came back home, he wasted no time and wrote what is now known as the The Buttsecks Treatise. Sadly, this manuscript has been missing for over 200 years. It is believed to have been confiscated by the Inquisition and filed away in a secret part of The Vatican.

Buttsecks and Celebrities[edit]

Some buttsecks
People from Osaka love the buttsecks.

Many famous people have died while attempting the buttsecks, but none of them ever dared to admit this fact after wise. For instance, some reports mention that John F. Kennedy and Marilyn Monroe both died together after one hard night of buttsecksing one another. Other famous Buttsecks cases include our former President, Bill Clinton and the conception of George Foreman and Wonder Woman's child somehow.

An assassination was staged afterwards with JFK's hidden twin, Ringo Starr, to cover the truth.

This would explain why Monroe's body was found in such a decayed state. This would also explain why The Beatles replaced their drummer with Pete Best in their early days.

Surprise Buttsecks[edit]


Surprise Buttsecks is the most romantic Valentines/Christmas/Birthday present anyone can give that special someone.

Common victims of surprise buttsecks.


Untie your special someone's shoelaces, and apply massive amounts of crazy glue. When he/she/it bends over to tie them, he/she/it should now be completely immobilized. Now, quickly depants he/she/it, and run 50-100 feet behind he/she/it. Get a good running start, and at the last minute jump, anally penetrating he/she/it, and then yell "Surprise Buttsecks!"


This is a man recieving buttsecks.