40 something is the new 20 something!...;)

I'm trying to convince myself of the 40 something headline I just wrote being that February 10th

is quickly approaching and that is the day my mother gave birth to me %#@&*+ years ago...;) It seems like yesterday my grandmother made this prairie shirt I sported, loved and was proud to wear as I was blowing out those candles making a wish. She was self taught and there weren't any youtube tutorials back then or group classes in that niche to attend locally from what I can remember. The fact is, she managed Bodegas and began sewing in her spare time in Cuba were she was born and raised.

She wasn't afraid of making mistakes or tener que devaratar halgo ( to take apart and reconstruct something ) and boy she instilled that methodical way into me too! I think it's probably where I get my eye for detail from. Perfect example of her devarantando was the fact that I was excited to wear this shirt and she noticed the buttons on the sleeves were inverted. I could have worn it as it was and later have her fix it to her standards but, she insisted that it couldn't be worn until it was corrected. She was instrumental to my life and not a day goes by where I don't think of her and look down at my hands knowing that she inspired so much of my creativity. I have so many memories of watching her knitting and sewing skills in action. She would never throw any of the scraps of materials away knowing I would rejoice from her letting me make something out of them. My barbie dolls definitely benefited from a wardrobe collection that retail stores would have probably charged a fortune for. If you guessed it you are right! My grandmother was a seamstress and a big time DIYer! Only at that time I'm not sure there was a category or name for all the DIY she would get involved with. I would come home from school and find her hard at work at something but, whenever I heard the sound of her at the sewing machine

when I walked through the door, I would always smile because even as a young girl I knew it was my grandmother's true calling and how much she loved it. Mima wouldn't hesitate to cook something up in the kitchen even though she despised the kitchen and would curse it often. ( something else I can relate to even today...lol ) I could find her painting something in the garage, fixing something in the backyard, running the washing machine with a pile of laundry already folded and ready to go while organizing dresser drawers and closet shelves all the while happy to help my parents raise my brother and I and discipline us too. She was always making something and held down the household while my parents both commuted and worked in Manhattan. My brother and I could always count on her to keep us both grounded and nurtured. Our family was unconventional, lovingly dysfunctional and definitely felt like Que Pasa USA but, I wouldn't change a thing other than still having my grandmother and father alive and well. So as another birthday approaches and I fill the tremendous void of their absence carrying their memory in my heart, I pray that they are both at peace and shining their light upon our entire family. I'm also hoping that they are sending me strength from the heavenly gates

to rock another 40 something year before me just like my grandmother Petronilla Matamoros spent countless hours inspiring me that age doesn't limit you to anything in spite of what anyone else may think as long as you don't let it!

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It's so crazy to see yourself years later and reflect on the experience of being so young working on a film.  So much has changed since that era.  

I would love to work with

Paul Morrissey again some day.  

Brushing up on my acting skills will be necessary but, I have a feeling it will all come rushing back to me around the right setting and with the opportunity to work on a new project

with him.  I have some ideas for

it too! 

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