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Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Rule of Three Writing Challenge: Part One

The Rule of Three Blogfest, or REN3, has arrived! It's hosted by Stuart Nager of Tale SpinningDamyanti Biswas of Daily (W)riteLisa Vooght of Flash Fiction, and J.C. Martin of Fighter Writer.

My story is below :) 

Deep beneath the ground, in a long forgotten cavern, young Tobias sits on a cold earthen floor twisting twine into rope. A soft glow flickers in the darkened room but it doesn’t give much light. His colorless eyes do not need the light to complete his task.


He loves to hear this tale, especially the way his grandfather tells it. It fills him with hope as his belly rumbles. There was a time when the rumble was soft and almost undetectable, but lately, it has become louder and more agitated.

Sitting by the whisper of a fire carved into a hole in the earth wall, a silver haired woman, wrinkled with splotchy skin shudders. She puts a clay pot over the dwindling flames and throws some leaves, dried mushrooms, and roots inside in the vain hopes of suppressing his hunger and prolonging the inevitable.

“Will it be grand?” he asks without looking up, twining his rope tighter.

A deep growl of approval and affirmation comes from the farthest part of the cavern where the fire’s light cannot reach.
“But you must be patient, the awakening must not be rushed. When it comes, the earth opens and releases it bounties. There is abundance, there is life, there is rebirth and there is freedom. The awakening is a grand, grand time that must not be hurried or all would be lost.”

The boy’s stomach grumbles again. This time so does Naan’s. The old woman responds by tossing another root into the pot. A tear rolls down her leathery pale face. She has run out of time and food. The awakening was approaching far sooner than she had hoped. But then, being in the dark earth hole, she had lost all since of time. How long has it been?

She was once young and beautiful. But that was a long time ago. She tries to remember that day. The day life as she knew it ended. A life she tried to lengthen to immortality through myths and legends. Did she really think she’d find an escape from the sickness that had spread throughout Renaissance, the outpost town her family found by sheer luck and claimed their own?

She leans closer to the pot to smell the cooking roots and leaves, a concoction that has thus far tempered the hunger for the awakening. When she leans back, she can feel the hot sticky breath of Naan against her neck. She freezes stiff, her heart beat stops and her blood slows to a snail pace crawl. She can feel him baring his teeth as he inhales the scent of fear and regret that emanates from her pores. Or is it her remorse for being the catalyst that started the awakening all over again he relished. Yes, this will not be the first awakening of the town of Renaissance.

Little did her people know the lonely town in the middle of nowhere was ghostly empty for a reason. His stomach growls sending chills down her spin. The little boy looks up from his work with a grin, baring his fully formed little teeth that are now razor sharp, ready for the feeding.

“Remember,” she says to herself. “Try to remember.”
But all she can remember is her father’s last breath on that fateful day.

“An evil deed can only beget evil.”

 She hands them their last meal of cooked leaves and roots, as the new town of Renaissance rises with the sun far above them unbeknownst of the coming awakening.

word count: 596
prompt: Impending misfortune
character: Tobias


Anonymous said...

Sneaky! It took me a bit to realize that Naan and the old woman weren't the same person. Awesome.

May-Day_Aura said...

Good start. I like the mystery and the darkness of your piece. I'm curious as to what happened long ago and what's happening now. =)

Golden Eagle said...

Wow. Mysterious and creepy--I want to know what happens once the awakening comes!

Bethany Elizabeth said...

Hmm... very interesting! I love the mystery you've woven into the story, and even though the actions in the scene weren't action-y, the tension was high. I really like it!

Colleen said...

Beautifully written. I want to know the mystery of the awakening! I'm looking forward to reading more. :)

Susanna Leonard Hill said...

This is wonderful! Really gripping! The only thing I was confused about was that I thought the old woman was Naan. Is there someone else there? But aside from that minor detail, I'm dying to know what will happen next. I'm guessing the awakening has to do with becoming a vampire, that the roots and herbs are supposed to keep the hunger for blood at bay for as long as possible....

Ms Saba (aka Teacher007.5) said...

Thanks everyone! Glad you like it :) I am looking forward to the next prompt to see how my story will develop! :D I think I know where the story will go but need to know the next prompt.

Happy Writing everyone!

richard p hughes said...

What a great beginning. I was drawn in and didn't want to leave.

Lisa said...

I love the way you turn a word creating imagery. The "awakening" could be so many things... great piece.

Anonymous said...

Oh, no, razor sharp teeth. Just what is he awakening into? Definitely impending misfortune.

Thanks for joining us in Renaissance!

Stuart Nager said...

Looking forward to finding out more about The Awakening.

I'm so pleased with all the additions already in just week one.

Tale Spinning

Anonymous said...

Whatever is in the darkness is chilling. Excellent suspense.

alberta ross said...

great start - and us all wanting more!

Anonymous said...

Oh, what a great beginning! I like it how you hint at things, but don't reveal much yet. I'm curious to read on - which I will do immediately.

Member of the Society of Children's Book Writers and Illustrators