So, you know how during the day someone almost always drops something and needs a flashlight? Or, how someone will need a knife for something during the day? Well I have taken to just carrying these things with me. A knife, a flashlight, a handkerchief, that sort of thing. That way when someone needs one I don’t have to run off to get it. The trouble with this is, that through constantly carrying those things in my pocket, the fabric over my pocket is beginning to get a hole in it. I don’t want to stop carrying these items in my pocket because someone always needs one. Maybe I should get a smaller flashlight.

The Armadillo of Legends: Defender of Stuffed Animals

The Armadillo of Legends: Defender of Stuffed Animals

The Armadillo’s left arm strained, and gave way under the pressure of the Elephant’s mighty strength. The Armadillo fell over backwards and rolled away avoiding the Elephants giant crushing hooves.

Earlier the Armadillo had thought that his shield would break under the strain of the Elephant’s attack, but instead it appeared to become stronger, more stable in his hand, with each blow. The Armadillo was faster than his opponent and as the elephant raised his hands for the next blow, the Armadillo slid under his feet slicing his ankle as he went!

The Elephant turned to attack firing his crossbow at the Armadillo. Reflexively the Armadillo raised his shield to block the bolt. He expected his shield would stop the bolt, but he did not expect it to react in the way that it did. The shield had changed during the battle from an old wooden shield, to a worthy armament, solid in construction and made of shimmering silver metal. When the bolt struck the front of the shield, it glowed for a minute, then the metal shuddered and absorbed the energy.

Recoiling the Elephant muttered to himself, “Very interesting. I must study that shield. Maybe I can use it in my cookie ray!”. The Armadillo stopped for a moment and cocked his head quizzically.  He had never heard of a cookie ray.  The very idea seemed preposterous, mad even.  Perhaps this made sense as the man promoting the ray was referred to as The Mad Elephant.

Said crazed elephant fired again, and again with crossbow while the Armadillo stood behind the cover of his mighty shield. The bolts struck and bounced off one after another. Clang, Clang.  With each strike the shield glowed it’s mystical silver each time brighter and brighter.  The shield bestowed upon him by The Attack Frog was indeed a gift, but the Armadillo had no time to ponder the Stone Monument’s generosity, or the magical properties of his shield.  Eventually, he would weary hiding behind the shield or the gray mass firing down at him would grow tired of watching the silver triangle absorb his projectiles and devise a more effective method of attack.  Either way the Armadillo wanted to act first.  He rifled through his bag looking for something to give him an edge in the battle. Finally he struck upon it. Reaching deep in the bag he pulled out blue bomb, about the size of his head, and hurled it at the Elephant. The Elephant curled up his trunk in front of him as the bomb exploded in his face.

Following up his unexpected attack the Armadillo rushed forward, and toppled the Elephant. Sweeping his sword the Armadillo smacked his crossbow away. Turning onto his side, the Elephant waved his wand, and the ground beneath the Armadillo became as smooth as glass. The Armadillo began to slip, so he flipped backwards off of the patch of ground. “Arghh! Why do you pester me so? I’m not really a bad guy. For to long have I been misunderstood. All I want to do is perfect my harmless cookie ray. So I can eat the world.”

The Armadillo just stared at him, his face a mixture of amazement and confusion (mostly confusion). Recovering his composure he circled around the patch of ground so that he stood once more in front of the Elephant.

Faster than the eye could follow the Armadillo threw flash powder on the ground blinding the Elephant. While he was blinded, the Armadillo rushed forward and jumped in the air, he kicked the Elephant square in the chest, knocking him onto the glass like ground.

As the pachyderm fell the wand flew from his hand. The Armadillo quickly clove it in half, and put his sword point to the Elephants throat. “I didn’t steal the muffins! I swear!” shrieked the Elephant.

The Armadillo looked at him quizzically.

“Oh, you’re not the muffin man. Sorry about that. I lied. I really did steal the muffins.”

The Armadillo pressed the sword closer to his opponent’s throat.

“Alright, fine. I don’t have the Princess. She’s in the Blue Ruins. She is being held captive by some strange shadow group. I’m not sure who the members are.”

Grunting in frustration the Armadillo whacked the Elephant, with his sword hilt. Quickly tying up the unconscious Elephant the Armadillo struck out on his quest once more. As he walked away he heard someone hailing him from behind.

Big Katydid

Yesterday Nicholas brought me another bug from the grocery store. A really big one. At first glance it just looks like a really big katydid, but further inspection makes me unsure. I have never seen a katydid that big before, and the wings on this bug are designed like two leaves on either side of its body. Despite these differences I think it is mostly likely just a fully grown katydid. Whatever it is, it will make a great addition to my collection.

Dinosaur Days

Veronica presents her new story;

Dinosaur Days

One day Panda and Ducky decided to take a walk. Suddenly they met dinosaurs! “Roar.” said the T-Rex. “I’m going to eat you”. “Not if I kill you first.” said the Panda and pulled out his sword which he had cleverly hidden inside himself. Then he stabbed the T-Rex. Then he looked him over. He was dead. On hearing that their king was dead the dinosaurs surrendered and Panda and Ducky lived happily ever after. The End.

A Butterfly

So, a couple of days ago while we were out walking we saw a really cool butterfly. I mean a really cool butterfly. The kind of butterfly that you see on the front cover of bug books. Suffice to say it was a really great find for a bug collector, such as myself. And Christopher managed to grab it before it flew away (not really sure how… Have you ever tried to catch a butterfly; it’s not easy). Then, so we could transport it with out it flying away, Stephen put it in his handkerchief and put it in his pocket. Unfortunately that was the last time I saw it. Yep, we got home and the butterfly went with the handkerchief to the washer.

The Armadillo of Legends: Defender of Stuffed Animals

The Armadillo of Legends: Defender of Stuffed Animals

Forced to pursue the villainous Elephant the Armadillo of Legends struck out across the clearing toward the neighboring village. Though still thirty yards away the Armadillo could already detect the effects of the mayhem. The fires roaring atop the buildings, the smell of burning tar and hay, and the shouts for help, mingled with the insane laughter of the evil Elephant. He hurried forward.

As he entered the village he surveyed the wreckage, trying to find the mad Doctor Elephant. This did not take long. Despite the Elephant’s immense weight he sat with astounding grace on a slender, floating, broomstick. The Elephant attacked the villagers alternating with his two weapons, a small wand, and a lazer-crossbow. The Elephant’s unearthly weapons, and his eerie laughter perturbed many of the villagers causing them to run in fear. The Armadillo however, is without fear. Sneaking up behind the Elephant he hurled his boomerang at his his foe’s voluminous head. The boomerang rebounding off the back of his head, the Elephant turned around trumpeting in anger. Unfortunately, the Armadillo had underestimated the strength of his enemy’s skull.

“Who dares to strike ME!!!”, roared the Elephant.

Even after he had discovered his assailant his eyes continued to dart from place to place. This rapid searching, almost nervous motion was contrasted by his seemingly calm and respectable demeanor, giving him the air of an insane mystic.

The Armadillo, however, wasted no time on a such a character study, insightful though it may be.  Rushing forward he jumped, twirled in the air, and struck the Elephant full in the face with his right foot. Following this with a shield brought heavy against the same target.  The Elephant fell from his broomstick. Recovering himself the Elephant fired two bolts with his gun that the Armadillo easily parried. While he fired he waved his wand in the air, summoning a large wind which blew the Armadillo away from him.

“Impudent FOOL!!!”, the Elephant roared, “You think you can attack ME; The Strength of Sages, The Duke of Doom, The Lord of Lard; and expect get away with it?!!”. The Armadillo snickered involuntarily at this last title, which only served to anger the Elephant more. Trumpeting out a vicious war cry, the Elephant bore down on the Armadillo putting all his weight behind his mighty charge. Placing his shield in front of him the Armadillo braced for impact.

To be continued…

Mr. Squirrel

Today I saw Mr. Squirrel taking a quiet repose on the table in the park.You’d think if the squirrel had any brains it would be more afraid of the table, since that is where we eat other animals. Unfortunately for the squirrel it is sadly lacking in intellect.

Disco Walls

So this morning the light coming in from the window reflected just right off the marble window sill, so as to shine on the crystal ball. In turn the crystal ball cast a bunch of small spots of light on the wall turning the walls into… DISCO WALLS Unfortunately this only lasted a couple minutes before the sun moved, and left us with our normal boring walls.