How To Say “This is Crap” in Different Cultures

Originally published by Harvard Business Review, February 2014

One Thursday in mid-January I had been holed up for six hours in a dark conference room with 12 managers participating in my executive education program. It was a group-coaching day and each executive had 30 minutes to describe in detail a cross-cultural challenge she was experiencing at work and to get feedback and suggestions from the others at the table.

It was Willem’s turn, one of the Dutch participants, who recounted an uncomfortable snafu when working with Asian clients.  “How can I fix this relationship?” Willem asked his group of international peers, also attending the same course.





Both arrogance and dishonesty do exist, of course. There are even times when people give offense deliberately in pursuit of political objectives or in response to personal emotional problems. But in some cases, painful incidents are the result of cross-cultural misunderstandings. Managers in different parts of the world are conditioned to give feedback in drastically different ways. The Chinese manager learns never to criticize a colleague openly or in front of others, while the Dutch manager learns always to be honest and to give the message straight. Americans are trained to wrap positive messages around negative ones, while the French are trained to criticize passionately and provide positive feedback sparingly.


By contrast, more indirect cultures use more downgraders, words that soften the criticism, such as kind of, sort of, a little, a bit, maybe, and slightly. Another type of downgrader is a deliberate understatement, such as “We are not quite there yet” when you really mean “This is nowhere close to complete.” The British, who are less direct than Americans and a lot less direct than the Dutch are masters at it.

The “Anglo-Dutch Translation Guide” has been anonymously circulating in various versions on the Internet provides an illustration.


What the British say What the British mean What the Dutch understand
With all due respect… I think you are wrong. He is listening to me.
Perhaps you would think about… I would suggest… This is an order. Do it or be prepared to justify yourself. Think about this idea and do it if you like.
Oh, by the way… The following criticism is the purpose of this discussion is… This is not very important.
I was a bit disappointed that… I am very upset and angry that… It doesn’t really matter.
Very interesting… I don’t like it. They are impressed.
Could you consider some other options? Your idea is not a good one. They have not yet decided.
Please think about that some more. It’s a bad idea. Don’t do it. It’s a good idea. Keep developing it.
I’m sure it’s my fault. It’s not my fault. It was their fault.

That is an original point of view.

Your idea is stupid. They like my ideas!


To Marcus Klopfer, a German client, this guide was no laughing matter. Klopfer outlined how a misunderstanding with his British boss almost cost him his job:



All this can be interesting, surprising, and sometimes downright painful, when you are leading a global team.  You might sit down for a morning of annual performance reviews and as you Skype with your employees in different cultures, your words are magnified or minimized significantly based on your listener’s cultural context

So you have to be aware.  You need to work to understand how your own way of giving feedback is viewed in other cultures.   You can begin to recognize when you are using upgraders and downgraders, and to notice when your international colleagues are using them.  Then you can experiment a little to adjust your words, to suit the context.

As Klopfer says:


The elaborate dance is quite humorous from a German’s point of view. We’d be much more comfortable just stating Das war absolut unverschämt (“that was absolutely shameless”). But it certainly gets my desired results!

What about you? Where do you think your own culture falls in this regard?  Despite what your cultural normative pattern might be, of course we all have individual preferences.  If I need to tell you your work is total crap, how would you like me to deliver the message?

1 thought on “How To Say “This is Crap” in Different Cultures”

  1. Wieland von Behrens MD PhD

    Earlier today I left the comment titled: “Marriage Counseling Book Question to Nordic/Germanic Readers” If possible, I’d replies/feedback by email..

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