Friday, August 23, 2013

Home is where the heart is. Or isn't.

I will apologize firstly to my friends and family before I continue this post. What I'm about to share are simply my thoughts and memories of growing up where I did. I'm sure it's a lovely town now (it's increased it population by over 13 000 people since I lived there). My time there, like most kids who reflect on their home towns, was more like purgatory.

Yesterday, it would appear, my "home town" was featured on "Today In America", hosted football legend, Terry Bradshaw (of the United States' National Football League).

I was born in Edmonton and moved west when I was three. We lived a little further west initially, finally settling about 20 minutes west of Stony Plain in 1979. So, technically, we didn't live in town, but Stony was our nearest town and it's where we went to school.

I started grade one in Stony Plain and dropped out of high school, twice, from the town's only high school. In all fairness, I dropped out of school from the high school in the adjacent town/city too. School, at this point, wasn't "my thing" - due in large part to the lack of options, extra curricular activities and restrictive programming. A small town high school can only offer so much - we had one language option and because I had no math by grade 11, I was "removed" from music because the math class I needed was offered at the same time (and was only offered once during the year). Music was my thing - losing that removed all my interest in school. I went through the motions for a year and a half before packing it in permanently.

It was a town with a population of just over 2700 when we moved to the area (the Wiki on it has a higher population) but I clearly and positively remember the sign to town saying "Population 3500". By junior high, all the charm of the small town was done. As a teen, there was nothing to do.

Well, that's not totally true - there were things to do - none of them really positive for a young teenage girl (or boy, for that matter). Bush parties, drinking, casual relationships, drugs. Unless you count the annual fair that came to town every June - but it always ended in the same four things.

Because my parents (occasionally) read my blog, I won't bore you with details but one thing became evidently clear to me as I prepared to move away from Stony Plain: I would never, ever, EVER raise my children in a small town. Ever. I moved away in early 1994 and haven't looked back.

To see the town painted in with an picturesque brush - portraying it as a perfect place to raise a family, start a business or visit, honestly, nauseated me. Worse still - seeing the people I grew up with share it with pride on Facebook - saying how it will always be home.

It will never be home to me. The person I was then doesn't exist anymore. The town I always felt held me back, no longer has any hold over me. It's a fart on a map, something I drive around and don't really thing about. When pressed, I will reluctantly admit I grew up there but usually, I just say I'm from Edmonton. And although I'm not always really happy with living here, it is certainly a far cry better than Dog Rump Creek.

My life, my heart and my home follows me - it's not where I've been. Stony Plain may be where I lived for a time, but it certainly is not my home.

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