Friday, June 22, 2007

Lorax & Google

This is the "Star-Bellied Lorax in the Hat" that I drew for Toon Club's Dr. Seuss topic. I originally wanted to create my own Seuss-ish creature and write a poem about it, using made-up words to bridge otherwise unrhymeable gaps, but I wasn't feeling very creative. Speaking of made-up words, how would you spell "unrhymeable" if it was a word? Not even a suggestion, spell check? I'd like to have a Lorax of my own, because it would be interesting to know what the trees are thinking.

I suppose it's time again to write about one of my favorite topics... dumb Google searches. Yeah, the gag's a little over-played on my blog, but there have been some classics recently:
  • online sketches of lizards
  • how do I make my widescreen movie fullscreen?
  • do kangaroos have arms?
  • a blue cheetah that is retarded and stupid and it could defend anyone against a polar bear
  • how to you how draw a chipmunk?

Well, "How" to you too, Chief! Looking to add some chipmunk drawings to the outside of your teepee? Do they have stencils for that kind of thing maybe? I wish I could be of more help.

Online sketches of lizards? Do you really need to say the "online" part? Have you ever been referred by Google to a sketchbook someone's carrying around? And if you're not that specific you're going to have to track down the guy who drew the lizard yourself and ask to see it?

How do you make widescreen movies fullscreen? Let's see... sit really close... move plants and bookshelves to block the sides of your TV... wear horse blinders. Plenty of ways.

Do kangaroos have arms? Is your internet presented in Braille? Because if not, I'm not sure how you'll ever get your answer. Well, I guess there's the "ask ANYONE" option, because that's who would know if kangaroos have arms.

And lastly... who even knew you could do a Google search that long? A blue cheetah, huh? That could defend anyone against a polar bear? That seems to be asking a lot of an animal that's retarded AND stupid... especially a discolored jungle cat. (If you do that search, my blog is the number one result. Where have I gone wrong?)


The Youngs said...

Where have you gone wrong? I wouldn't know where to begin...Vegas, St. George, St. Louis, Germany, Florida, Utah, Hungary, somewhere between your bedroom and your bathroom...well I guess I started, but I'm not sure that was the right place to start.

If you ever get hungry for polar bear, my blue, retarded, stupid cheetah has amounted a healthy pile of 'em.

Sam Nielson said...

"a blue cheetah that is retarded and stupid and it could defend anyone against a polar bear"

Sounds like an episode of Lost

Anonymous said...

That's funny. Some from mine that are funny:
* how to tie up your wife
* gary crowton LSU + great hire

Wouldn't it be fun to actually work for Google and see the searches people perform?

zohner said...

I can't believe that I actually did a Google search for "a blue cheetah that is retarded and stupid and it could defend anyone against a polar bear". Your site was second behind Digg.

Ken said...



oh and im really digging your new banner!! superduper love those characters :D

Anonymous said...

Retarded AND stupid? Not only is that redundant, but it's needlessly repetitive.

Anonymous said...

OK...I'm losing it. I just sat here for a full 5 minutes watching "fric fagan's" bio photo, trying to figure out where the "beginning" of the recording is. LOL! Love your entry today....hilarious! I dunno though...if my name popped up as the first on the list after a search for anything to do with retarded and stupid, I'd be a little concerned. LOL! How can you even tell what people search for? My Site Tracker doesn't do that. the entry....laughed my guts out...and the is nothing short of seriously clever. You are the King.

Unknown said...

doood I spent the last ten minutes laffing so hard that I think I need an injury will be hearing from them shortly.

L. D. Torres said...

Where on Earth did you find those search titles?! I think I laughed my insides straight out, 4 stars and 2 enthusiastic thumbs up on that one, Chester ;)

Kyle Marshall said...

hhahahaah, oooh man, that was the funniest thing i have read in weeks, hahahaha

Anonymous said...

Hi, just wanted to say that I LOVE your art! It made laugh and cheer up on a crummy day :)

I'll be adding you to my links, if you don't mind :)

Eli said...

Thanks for the laugh!

kamagra said...

This is perfect because i LIKE WHEN PEOPLE are so creative like you and they can show us something like this, your figure has a perfect style show us your personality.