Made a new friend at work the other night. He was very well dressed, and strolled in bragging about the East Coast. I knew immediately that we would be friends.

Upon further conversation, we discovered that we were both from North Carolina, that his family lived in Salisbury, and that his father was also called Jesse. When I asked him what in the world he was doing in Seattle, he proclaimed, “why, teaching these west coast folk some mother fucking social skills.”

I just about keeled over.

Where are all the flamboyant Southerners? They’ve been quashed under the wheels of the tech bro and the too-cool townie. This fellow is paving the way for the rest of us.