How To Make The Phantom Menace Not Suck



  • Too much reliance on special effects.

















Step 2: Create a compelling villain





















5 thoughts on “How To Make The Phantom Menace Not Suck

    1. I don’t blame Jake Lloyd for his performance, not when you also have award winning actors like Ewan McGregor and Natalie Portman delivering awkward, stilted dialogue against an overwhelming amount of green screen. Hayden Christensen is a great example of what bad dialogue can do to a good actor in Episodes 2 and 3. If you deny that he’s a good actor, I invite you to watch Shattered Glass, the movie that proved for me that Christensen has excellent acting abilities.

      Regarding Jar Jar: he’s annoying, sure, but I don’t think he contributes to the actual problems of narrative that plague the prequels. He’s no less annoying to me than C-3PO was in the original trilogy. I don’t really get the Jar Jar hatedom. If he ended up being both annoying and a Mary Sue, I could see it, but even in the context of the movie, it’s made pretty clear that he’s a foolish character meant to be laughed at.

  1. I like it, this is a movie I’d like to watch, and I especially like the changes to Obi-Wan. I spent the entire prequel trilogy wondering why the hell Obi-Wan was still training Anakin, despite the clear problems that were showing up…it just didn’t fit with his “shining white knight” persona. An Obi-Wan who’s a little more unconventional is a better fit. And if you made Obi-Wan’s apprentice a by-the-book jedi who tragically dies, it further solidifies Obi-Wan’s resolve when he eventually sees his new apprentice sliding off the rails.

    As for Darth Maul. If I was to give him a personality, I would say that he is passionate and dangerous. You get the sense that he is enjoys violence, but he likes a challenge. It would be good to show him threatening the viceroys, saying that he’ll be happy to slice their limbs off, if that’s what it takes to convince them. Show him to be visibly disappointed when they capitulate before the incoming bloodshed. He should be pure, unadulterated, malice. When his showdown with Obi-Wan and his apprentice happens, Maul should revel in the battle (Worthy foes, at last!). After the death of his apprentice, Obi-Wan, who’s tapping into the dark side through his rage, should still be barely a match for Maul. The battle should only end because the conflict outside has foiled Maul’s plans, and a quick escape is called for.

    Despite all this, Maul should still be little more than Sidious’ attack dog. The key difference being that this truth is longer in being revealed. Palpatine should be introduced, but there should be at least a moment where we wonder if he’s already turned to the dark side, or if he’s somehow going to be turned by Maul.

    The kidnapping of the chancellor would then move from the third movie to the second, becoming the primary impetus for the plot. Palpatine could be described by Yoda or Obi-Wan as possessing an impressive talent for the force, but one which was never developed because it was noticed too late. Some of his preeminence in the Senate could be attributed to this, “He has a strong sense for others’ feelings.”/”‘Charismatic’ doesn’t begin to describe how persuasive he can be.” Portray him sympathetically, and have him willingly elected by the senate to a position of great power.

    When Palpatine is kidnapped, the fear could be that Maul plans to mold him into a Sith. You could still have the big battles, including the Obi-Wan v Fett battle and a Yoda v Maul battle. Maul should be even stronger than before, and he should best the venerable Yoda. Anakin should then have a face-off in front of Palpatine, basically the same as the opening to Episode 3. Anakin should kill Maul, which would prove to Yoda that Anakin has embraced the dark side, but prove to Obi-Wan that he has made the right choice in training the boy. (“Too young, he is, to be this strong. A seed of darkness within him, I sense.” “Even you couldn’t handle a sith lord alone, but he did! If there was ever any doubt that he is the chosen one, it should be gone.”) You close without going into more detail about Palpatine, leaving that for the third movie.

    Using your base for the first movie, I feel like the second movie really writes itself. The third becomes a little more complicated, but I think the essential part is that Palpatine is looking for a new apprentice, and he saw great potential in Anakin. Palpatine, already established as being force sensitive, could offer to teach Anakin things. “I may not be trained as a Jedi, but that doesn’t mean I’m a stranger to the force.” Eventually this would lead him down a dark path.

    This really has me interested…I’d like to see this written up as a fan-fiction some day. That would be really cool.

    1. Thanks! I’m glad the post was enjoyable. I did written some Star Wars fan fiction many years ago . . . maybe I’ll try it again some day with this as my impetus.

      Regarding a few of your thoughts:

      “Maul as Sidious’ attack dog”: I love this idea and it works even better for the development of the character. I think a great example of how this could be played is Bane from The Dark Knight Rises; he’s intelligent, even eloquent at times, but he’s still basically Talia’s attack dog. It totally works for him. For Maul, I think the way you described him would be perfect: he’s the TV Tropes blood knight (, the guy who lives for war and combat. Passionate and dangerous would certainly apply to a guy covered in facial tattoos as well, creating synchronicity between character and visual.

      Your own development ideas for how this base could play off in Episodes 2 and 3 are excellent. I really like the idea of Maul besting Yoda and the differing reactions from Yoda and Obi-Wan when Anakin kills Maul. Not only does it create dramatic tension, but it sets Obi-Wan’s own failure even more magnificently when, despite all his belief in Anakin, his prized student STILL falls to the dark side. Talk about a crushing betrayal!

      Having the Jedi sense Palpatine’s “untrained” Force potential would smooth over another bump in the narrative as well and keeps the Jedi from looking like idiots when it turns out their greatest threat was right in front of them and they had no idea. Playing with the idea of Maul training Sidious would also make the audience guess at how it will eventually play out, because we already know Palpatine will be the Emperor. Making us guess how he got there would be more fun, especially when Maul is revealed to have been just the attack dog, after all.

      Sigh. It’s so excellent in my head. If only it could have been . . .

      1. I know, it’s quite depressing. In theory, the prequel trilogy is an amazing idea because it nests the original trilogy (which was a hero’s journey), inside of the fall/redemption arc of Obi-Wan and Darth Vader. You can watch the original trilogy as a pure hero’s journey, the prequel trilogy as a pure tragedy, and put them together to get something completely different.

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