Tag Archives: love

Detach with Love




The question is what do you do when you are watching someone else heading for the ditch and you can tell the hole they will be in might just swallow them up and they have no idea where they got off the road? You might think to jump in, waving your hands and screaming, “Save yourself” or “Watch out ahead.” Maybe you even throw yourself in the ditch a few times so they can step over your back avoiding most of the mud. But then how will they ever learn to change the route?

Sometimes, as painful and dangerous as it feels, the only answer is to let go and detach with love, standing to the side while letting your heart fly from your chest, into the ditch, and hope that somehow all the love you have in it will provide the strength to that lost soul to get back on the road that leads somewhere better.

The three things I cannot change are the past, the truth and you.
Anne LaMott



How much can one person handle? I always wonder what choices are there. Giving in, giving up, seems to yield additional troubles.
Why are we all so afraid to feel the emotions associated with heartbreak in whatever form it takes? Why is it so acceptable to medicate our feelings into submission, instead of standing up and saying I will not be defeated by them? Saying it over and over until we believe it and it becomes true.


How’s your Now??






And then I did.


And then he was.


And then it ended


And then they all were




Denis Waitley


Advice to the young and the young at heart



If you could give one bit of advice to your younger self about relationships what would it be?

Oh, c’mon all of you out there, shouting, “Run!” Think way back or think back to yesterday depending on your age and just how much you’ve had your heart twisted out of your rib cage and stomped on. You know what it’s like when you look across the room and your eyes meet. Everything is aquiver and they say all the right things in just the right way.


My advice would be to pay attention to what they do and not what they say. Oh, the heartache that would have saved me. I’m not saying that words aren’t important or necessary. What I’m saying is if you find someone that consistently does what they say they will do, never less but sometimes more, you have a keeper. In my younger incarnation I fell in love with potential. I loved to hear the plans for what would be, it was so wonderfully distracting from what wasn’t happening.

Now, I watch carefully for actions. I don’t have enough time in my life for potential. I probably never did.

When deeds speak, words are nothing. ~African Proverb






Keep swimming baby. I’m treading water right alongside you.


Flight of Faith



 If you could fly… …where would you fly ?

I imagine that I’d fly straight up into the sky and then back down to the ground as quickly as possible stopping at the last moment to pull up into flight again just because I could.

 Where would you fly ….if you could fly?


A Different Take on Love



Love is never what you think it is, is it? We imagine that it should be simple, it will fix our woes, fill our gaps, and warm us in the cold. We dream that all the good in life will be better and that words will be replaced by a knowing look and a connection so strong that there will never be a doubt that we are bonded at the soul. Can you hear me laughing?

Ahh, it’s good to dream! Sometimes I think those dreams are our undoing. Perhaps it would be better to think that real love will test you, enlighten you, and throw all of your own shortcomings in your face in order for you to rise to the challenge of being a more complete person on your own and when your beloved sees all of this, they will love you anyhow. 

Better said by Kahlil Gibran’s “The Prophet”:

“When love beckons to you follow him,Though his ways are hard and steep.      

And when his wings enfold you yield to him,      






He sifts you to free you from your husks.      

He grinds you to whiteness.      

He kneads you until you are pliant;      



It can’t just be the flowers and love songs because when that passes, as it always does, what will be left? I have been very fortunate to have a friend and partner who has challenged me to be better person. A man who will not allow me to be any less than I should be and when forced to admit why, he will reluctantly admit that it is because he loves me, but not necessarily in the way I want to hear it. He is a man of actions, more so than words. My own challenge… not always getting what I want, instead getting what I need. In turn, hopefully I will push him out of his comfort zone to be something more than he is now. I tried the easy route of no challenges and it was empty. True love is a growing, learning, sometimes painful, experience.  It’s the mother bird that pushes the baby out of the nest, not really knowing for sure if it will fly, but knowing it needs to and believing enough for both of them. To love and be loved in this way both breaks my heart and then mends it, it lifts me up and then brings me to my knees, it is more than I hoped for and better than I could have dreamed. It’s anything but simple.





Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself



Thank you to Suzi81 Speaks for this weekly word challenge http://wordpress.com/read/post/id/49935482/13902/

The Magical Look of Love



I wonder if Frida believed that look would last forever or if it was good enough to have seen it briefly. Apparently Frida saw that look often, although not necessarily in the eyes of her husband. It was never enough to make her happy for long.

Is it possible to hold on to that memory to renew your feelings when you look over at him, doing that “thing” he does, and resist the urge to question your own sanity? What is the elusive quality that holds some people together while others seem to drift?

(As You Like It, 3.2)

Take that chance…go ahead, I dare you!


Necessity is the mother of taking chances.

Mark Twain

It’s true. You can’t go home again. I tried and it didn’t work. I am not the same person and the house didn’t fit me anymore. I actually wonder what contortions of personality I had subjected myself to in order to make it fit the first time. Well, I obviously didn’t like it or I wouldn’t have left in the first place, right? 

Have you ever romanticized your past? Thought longingly that, given the chance, you’d do it all so differently. You’d be kinder, patient, more appreciative with the known and familiar.

Think again, my friends. The unknown, as scary as it might seem, is ripe with possibility. The past, while comfortable, lacks potential. That well-worn path leads you in the same direction each time you follow it.

To the house that didn’t fit, that you discarded, or that discarded you.

Forge a new path. Build a new home. Be brave. Take a chance.


Mary Tyler Moore