There is incelphobia

Dangerous gender roles

It's not nice when a woman receives whistles and sexist slogans in public. It is even worse when these sayings turn into violence upon the realization that the object of desire is not a cis woman - that is, a person whose gender identity corresponds to the gender that was assigned to her at birth. But that's exactly what trans women and men still have to fear. Just as lesbians and gays in the supposedly cosmopolitan metropolis of Berlin still experience physical or psychological violence when they kiss in public. They are in danger because they love who they love or look what they look like.

But how can you hate that people love each other? Above all, there is a fragile masculinity behind this. Because it is mainly men (91.5 percent!) Who commit homophobic or trans-hostile attacks, as the first nationwide monitoring report on the subject shows. Which does not mean that you have to feel sorry for the perpetrators now, on the contrary. The very word homophobia or transphobia is misleading: it is not fear or phobia that guides these people, it is hate. In order to combat this, however, one must also work on the masculinity constructs in this society. Because toxic masculinity is extremely dangerous - the idea that men shouldn't show weakness, at most anger, they should be tough, aggressive and not tender or loving, especially not with one another, and that conflicts are resolved through violence.

Countermeasures must be taken early on. Boys have to learn from an early age that these male role models are nonsense, that emotions are not only allowed in football stadiums and that tenderness and vulnerability are a sign of strength and not weakness. Girls also have to learn that sexism is not normal, that they can do everything boys can and that they are not there to sort out and explain their emotional world to men. And children and adults have to learn that there are not only boys and girls or men and women, but that they can be anything and that that can change at any time. When the time comes, psychological and physical violence against women and queers may be a thing of the past.

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