Soul Mates and Twin Flames – What Is The Difference?

Dec 2, 2020


Soul Mates: Mutually Assist the Liberation of the Soul

All souls we share a significant intimate relationship with are soul mates and given we now have more than one in our lifetime this challenges the previous belief anchored by patriarchy that we should search for ‘The One’ true love, our soul mate and live happily ever after. This is a limiting perspective that encourages us to search for the one person who can make us happy instead of seeing each relationship as an opportunity for soul growth.

A soul mate is someone who our soul recognises as we’ve usually known them for lifetimes. This is someone we have a sacred contract with. This means both parties have agreed, prior to incarnating, to assist each other with their respective life lessons. So while often they become our romantic partner, they may also show up as pets, friends or family members. There is a sense of feeling ‘at home’ with them, or sensing you have a shared destiny, such as new friends who instantly feel like old friends. Even people who hurt or betray us, are soul mates. Such events are opportunities to resolve karmic ties from previous incarnations.

Twin Flames: The Polar Opposites Who Assist Us in Burning Our Karma

Another type of soul mate is the twin flame. There has been a lot of focus given to twin flame connections in recent times. Many interpretations differ on the nature and purpose of this connection. The term, ‘twin flame’ is one often associated with spiritual ascension. This idea can easily result in the projection of an idealistic goal, reaching some concept of relationship perfection, which is ultimately more about spiritual ambition, an ego head-trip than the evolution of the soul. As a result, many hope to find their twin flame as proof they are ready to ascend this realm, never to return. Given our challenge, while incarnate is to transcend the dominant ego mind and embrace the inherent perfection in everything, one must exercise caution when entertaining the concept of twin flames. 

The meeting with one’s twin flame is intense, as nothing magnetises like the meeting of two who are completely polarised. In fact, together, they generate a force field that is palpable. This is because we feel so complete in their presence. It is also what makes the sexual coupling so dynamic. Understandably we can become hooked on chasing the erotic high, rather than doing the essential inner work to embody our disowned aspects that they embody – a process that’s  necessary if we are to fulfil our evolutionary potential rather than spiral into love addiction. 

Twin flames represent one of our greatest personal challenges. Our interaction with them often takes on mythic proportions, as what they present us with is larger than life. It is akin to the duel the archetypal hero encounters at the end of their quest with their greatest adversary. A showdown, which may test us to our limits, almost costing us everything we’ve set out to achieve.

Whilst we may have fallen in love many times with various soul mates, the twin flame we encounter when we’re ready to dance with the shadow to unify and balance our internal polarities. This is a Tantric initiation, an evolutionary lesson in personal self-mastery known as ‘The Holy Hermaphrodite.’ This is what’s depicted in the final Major Arcana card in the Tarot. It represents personal integration and balance of the feminine and masculine aspects within on the path of Mysticism.

To find out more check out my book, Sacred Union in Partnerships.



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