Ask a life coach

How to Set Boundaries
Life coach tips: 

The idea of boundaries can seem intimidating and almost selfish. However, when we set boundaries we're giving ourselves space to focus on what we want in our lives. Yes, that's right you're entitled to choose and do what makes you happy! Boundaries provide guard rails to ensure we're on the path that we want to be and not influenced by the path others may want us to be on. As a life coach for young professional women, I think boundaries are the key to our success because we can choose who and what to allow in our lives.


Here are my life coach tips for how to set boundaries:


1. Start with your friends and family. Is there someone in your life that when you're around them is draining your energy? Maybe it's a friend or family member that's highly critical or is always gossiping.  When we allow ourselves to engage with that energy it can bring us down with them.  Set boundaries in the conversations, let them know what you want or don't want to talk about.  Don't feel pressured to gossip or overly confide in them just because they want you to.  Stand your ground and be who you want to be.


2. Social Media. Unfollow or unfriend people on social media that create stress, anxiety or any self-judgment. Make social media a refuge of all of the people that bring you joy or inspire you.  


3. Recognize your own feelings. Pay attention to what you're feeling and intuition are telling you and honor it.  When we honor what we want versus someone else our happiness and confidence increase tenfold as we're acknowledging our own value and worth. This can be greatly beneficial when setting boundaries with parents or people that have a tendency to tell us what's best for us.  Only you know what's best for you!


4. Give yourself permission to have boundaries.  This is critical as we're saying it's totally okay to want what you want.  We give ourselves permission to be authentic and not succumb to other's expectations or wants.  


5. Set boundaries in self-care, make yourself a priority.  We can't love others if we don't love ourselves.  If we don't take care of ourselves and honor our needs we drain our confidence and energy to help others.  Self-care isn't selfish it's necessary to be able to play all out and give what you can in your life.