Posts Tagged ‘comment period’

FCC & Net Neutrality: Comments

Tuesday, June 24th, 2014

Comments to FCC rule changes can be dry and lawyerish. Not this one

Dear FCC;

Regarding recent proposed rules that implicitly endorse “internet fast lanes”,
allowing Internet providers to offer an option for web companies to pay to connect
to users at faster speeds, I would like to make the following comments:

You swines. You vulgar little maggots. You worthless bags of filth. As we say in
Texas, you couldn’t pour water out of a boot with instructions printed on the heel.
You took your last vacation in the Islets of Langerhans.

You’re a putrescent mass, a walking vomit. You are spineless little worms deserving
nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are jerks, cads, and weasels. I take that
back; you are a festering pustule on a weasel’s rump. Your life is a monument to

are monsters, ogres, a malformity. I barf at the very thought of you. You have all
yawn. And did I mention that you smell?

You are squeaking rats, a mistake of nature and heavy-metal bagpipe players. You
you. You didn’t crawl out of a normal egg, either, but rather a mutant maggot egg
to an unsuspecting world. They were a bit late. If cluelessness were crude oil, your
scalp would be crawling with caribou.

You are thick-headed trogs. I have seen skeet with more sense than you have. You are
made you. I take it back; God didn’t make you. You are Satan’s spawn. You are Evil

profane. You are foul and disgusting. You’re fools, ignoramuses. Monkeys look down
and your markup doesn’t validate. You have a couple of address lines shorted
together. You should be promoted to Engineering Manager.

Your life is one big W.O.M.B.A.T., and your future doesn’t look promising either. We
ever mate with you, so we won’t have to go into the sewers in search of your git.

neck just to get your dog to play with you. You think that is the name of a rock band. You believe that
patterns all day if the other inmates would let you.

On a good day you’re half-wits. You remind me of drool. You are deficient in all
you wear your sister’s training bra. Don’t bother opening the door when you leave –
your mother runs out from under the porch and bites you.

You smarmy lagerlout gits. You bloody woofter sods. Bugger off, pillocks. You grotty
wanking oik artless base-court apple-johns. You clouted boggish foot-licking
half-twits. You dankish clack-dish plonkers. You gormless crook-pated tossers. You
bloody churlish boil-brained clotpole ponces. You craven dewberry pisshead cockup
pratting naffs. You cockered bum-bailey poofters. You gob-kissing gleeking
flap-mouthed coxcombs. You dread-bolted fobbing beef-witted clapper-clawed
flirt-gills. You jetere steatopygous pilgarlick hircine whigmaleerious rhadamanthine

out of focus.

You are fiends and sniveling cowards, and you have bad breath. You are the unholy
would go away. You are jetsam who dreams of becoming flotsam. You won’t make it. I
the bioterrorists designed you.


purity. Stupid beyond the laws of nature. I must apologize. I can’t go on. This is
I don’t think that I can summon the strength left to mock your moronic opinions and
malformed comments about boring trivia or your other drivel. Duh.

The only thing worse than your logic is your manners. Your attempt at regulating the Internet was pitiful. I mean, really, stringing together a bunch of plattitudes
“challenged” persons in this world who find these things to be difficult. If I had
your prposed regulations. It just wouldn’t have been “right.” Sort of like parking
struggles that seem to be placing such a demand on you.

mendacious, meretricious, loathsome, despicable, belligerent, opportunistic,
manipulative, paternalistic, fundamentalist, dogmatic, idolatrous, unethical,
and Generally Not Good.

Please read [ ].