Monday, November 19, 2012

Yes, Santa, i've been bad…again.

As if telling my older kids that Santa isn't bringing them squat poop this year because of their non stop fighting and crappy attitudes doesn't already make me a bad enough person, here's another reason to pencil me down on the naughty list….okay screw it! You might as well use a Sharpie.

Today is one of those yucky Oregon days where it's pouring down rain.  Our streets are old, uneven, crappy and pretty much always partially flooded.  I'm really not sure where our tax dollars are going, but they definitely aren't going to fix the roads near our house because they suck.  Anyways, it's the kind of day where your pants have permanent wet rings around the bottoms, and no matter how waterproof your shoes claim to be, your socks always end up wet.  Hate that!

So, i'm driving the girls home from school, listening to the radio and blissfully unaware of the pedestrian walking on the sidewalk (no people, I didn't hit her…geez).   I'm driving down the street almost to my turn off when my tires got a little too close to the giant puddle and the water pretty much hydroplaned out like a blanket of water.  I remember silently thinking, "Holy crap that's a lot of water".

It looked a little bit like this, only worse (pic found on Flickr): 
I got a little further down the street when I noticed my thirteen year old daughter had this stunned, shocked look on her face. "MOM, you just totally hosed that lady down".  I had absolutely no idea what she was talking about until I look in my rear view mirror and see a sopping wet woman, clutching an umbrella in one hand, and flipping me the bird with the other.

Yes, my friends, I hosed her good.  And I totally didn't mean too and I would've stopped to see if I could help, but quite honestly I was afraid I was going to end up with an umbrella shoved up my butt and we haven't met our deductible yet so surgery is out of the question.


  1. It is interesting to read what mommies say :)


  2. Wow funny! I guess it's not funny you totally soaked that poor woman she was probably cold already and you added further injury. Just kidding! :D It wasn't done on purpose, but either way you can't un-ring the bell.


  3. Oh! My! Poor lady! I wouldn't want to be in her place! Ask Santa for forgiveness or you'll stay blacklisted!

  4. You just totally hosed my monitor as well!

    Or, well, you made me sporfle which led to my monitor being hosed. But it's ALL YOUR FAULT!