Friday, December 28, 2012

Santa does what?

Hello Snail Mailers! I hope Santa was extra kind to all of you and brought lots of mail and presents.

I've always found the concept of Santa rather creepy. Before you start Bah Humbug-ing me, hear me out and note the evidence:

1) He sees you when you're sleeping. Binoculars, perhaps?
2) He knows when you're awake. Dude, stop bugging my house.
3) He climbs down your chimney in the middle of the night. Aren't there anti-stalking laws against that sort of thing?
4) He eats your cookies and drinks your milk while you're sleeping. R-U-D-E!

I rest my case*. I'm just saying that if Santa wasn't a jolly fat man in a red suit, you'd be calling the cops on him.

*Note: this post was strategically timed for after Christmas because if Santa was going to bring me awesome presents, I wasn't going to accuse him of being a stalker before he's dropped them off. He may be creepy, but you don't mess with presents people! Timing is everything, my friends.


Mr. Thornton from the wonderful Sarah. Sarah is doing an awesome 365 Mail Art challenge. I may be totally biased here, but I think I'm the recipient of the BEST piece of mail art EVER. It's mine, all mine! *maniacal laugh*

Gift tags from Vanessa in Chicago

New Years Wishes from Julie! Julie and I are working on a soon-to-be-announced project together, so I have a feeling that 2013 is going to be a very interesting year for both of us!

A really cool letter booklet from Sarah in MD. I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't going to shamelessly steal the letter booklet idea, because I am. I totally am.

A letter from Cheryl who is giving me important lessons on how to pretend I'm Scottish. BOOYAH.

The latest in a saga that I lovingly refer to as "Laura and Jess make up new swear words."


Outgoing for Veronik in Montreal

Flowers and sun for Jennifer


Oh, and before I leave you for the week: Ms. Kendra of Lady Kayy asked me to mention her Deep Letters Correspondence Project, which helps match penpals that suffer from emotional or psychiatric issues. If you are looking for someone to exchange deep letters with, I suggest you check it out!

And that's it from me! HAPPY NEW YEAR everyone, I hope you have a wonderful week.


  1. I didn't know you needed any help making up new swear words. You always seem quite capable of making up new ones ot blast at me. :)

    1. Oh, you shut it flamingle foluzzle!

    2. This is a special time between Laura and I. Marple guzzlip.

  2. I totally stole the letter booklet idea from another pen pal, and one day made ALL OF THE TINY BOOKS when I was supposed to be working from home. It's as addictive as making envelopes.

    1. Sarah! You found my little corner of the blog world!

      Oh, that's not a good thing! The last thing I need is something as addictive as making envelopes. Alright, I'm off to make some letter booklets, if you don't hear from me in a few months, send help! I probably got attacked by cardstock and forgot my name.....

      Seriously though, I totally love that letter booklet!

  3. I am EXCITED for that envelope! Holy crap.

    1. YAY! I made that envelope especially for you so I'm glad! I hope all the circles make it to you okay. When I was making it, a few of the circles were eying the door so I think they might make a break for freedom during transit....

  4. You always get such lovely mail, can wait for the letter! :)

    1. I hope the Christmas mail rush is over and it doesn't take too long. :)

  5. The Mr Thornton envelope could be the coolest piece of mail ever sent. Possibly. Happy Christmas and a Merry New Year, Laura.
    And PS - Your project with Julie sounds intriguing! :)

  6. He arrived - and in one piece!
    I am pleased as punch that you like him, although I did have a sneeking suspicion that you would (mind-meld, and all that). ;)
    ~S. xo

    1. I often talk about mail going missing on this blog, and that is one envelope that I wouldn't blame a mail person for stealing. I'm glad they didn't, but I wouldn't have blamed them.

  7. Santa is a STALKER. I, of course, have known since I was a little girl and *refused* to sit on Santa's lap for photographs. Really, though, I just think it's a little wrong for parents to encourage children to sit on a guy's lap in exchange for goods. Not that anyone agrees with me, of course.
    I'm a little worried, though....I don't think you've gotten my letter yet? Has it been swallowed up by a mail room black hole? Did it caught up in a cruel prank by the Grinch and his poor little dog, Max? Or perhaps my letter felt sorry you had to read my crazed ramblings and self destructed to prevent the spread of the madness. (or it was eaten by rain or snow, which is also very likely)
    Where's Columbo when you need him?

    1. I am SO glad that you mentioned what I was thinking, but didn't list in my evidence. OF COURSE it's a more than a little scuzzy to encourage children to sit on a man's lap in exchange for goods. And this is exactly why you and I should rule the universe. [did I just make a giant leap into crazytown? Nope, totally logical.]

      Nope, no letter from Kay yet. I'm hoping that it was just caught up in the Christmas mail shuffle and hasn't absconded for greener pastures. But I'm on the look out for it, because I miss your crazed ramblings something fierce, my friend.

      Speaking of Columbo, I always think that he had a torrid love affair with Jessica Fletcher/Angela Lansbury. I mean if two old, crime-solving people were going to get it on, it would be those two. And yes, I used the words "get it on." I'm disturbed.

      Have a Happy New Year miss! I recently revisited Raccoon City, and I spent the whole time thinking, "I need to find Kay a better intern placement next year...."

    2. I'm so glad that it's not just me! And people never seem to understand/be amused by my theory. Really, we should totally rule the universe. Or at least Iceland (Greenland?), or anywhere with penguins. Because penguins are cool. Just like bow ties and fezes (fezs?).

      I feel like the extra at the end of an Buffy episode just as the Mutant Enemy logo flashes on the screen. Grrr, arrgh! I hope it comes soon! It has gotten crazy with all this Christmas mail--plus, the crazy winter storms passing through. Hopefully, you haven't been viciously attacked by snow and ice? Because that, my friend, is a TERRIBLE way to start a new year.

      Speaking of Angela Lansbury, have you seen an older movie called The Court Jester, with Danny Kaye? It's comically hilarious and has awesome wordplay, but aside from that, Angela Lansbury is all young and gorgeous-like and I can't help watching her in anything without seeing her OLD! But if Jessica has to get it on with anyone, I'm totally voting for Columbo. Especially if it means a sequel series starring their crime fighting love child (I hope they don't cast David Caruso, because he's boring, and they'd probably have to pry those sunglasses away from him to keep him from doing the Horatio Caine CSI:Miami I'm-too-cool-for-my-socks-but-not-really lines). What's that you say? Jessica's too old to have a love child? Why, it's a Christmas miracle!

      However, it turns out I'm not really the REAL Kay. See, I finally saw Resident Evil: Retribution last week, and much of the Umbrella Corp. staff is apparently either under mind control, or we're all clones. Now, to weigh the pros and cons of both options--
      Mind Control--
      Pros, cute mind control accessory and apparent super powers for tossing other people around
      Cons, no free will....hmmmm...
      Pros, live forever....and get to hang out with Oded Fehr, who's also a clone and therefore single...
      Cons, live forever as a stooge for Umbrella Corp with no memory of who I really am and no decision making ability about my life; kinda, sorta, maybe just a little (lot) expendable

      ...damn....tough choices, huh? Any thoughts?

    3. I miss you! I miss this weird stream of consciousness that happens when my words and your words meet. Damn mailman, what have you done with Johnny Quickdraw's mail from Kay! He better not make me get all gunslinger on his ass.

      According to google, penguins don't live in Greenland. But since we rule the universe, let's MAKE penguins live in Greenland. However, not in a really cruel way like we just open up some helicopter doors and shove the penguins out, all the while yelling "LIVE PENGUINS! JUST LIVE!!" But more like, we build a really great penguin habitat so that they barely even notice that they've been moved. They'll be like, "Oh, did we move? Where's my bowtie and cane, dear madams?" We're such kind universe rulers.

      I love that Mutant Enemy logo. I miss that Mutant Enemy logo. Grrrr, arrrrgh! Let's just pretend that logo sound plays every time we walk into a room. We have managed to escape snow for a few weeks. It was bitterly cold here (like a "I can't feel my toes, or anything really" type of cold) but it seems to have warmed up nicely.

      I have not seen The Court Jester! First Barbarella, then Court Jester! WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY LIFE?!! No way David Caruso is the love child of Angela Lansbury and Columbo. If Angela Lansbury (if I've said her name this many times, do you think it's appropriate if I just refer to her as Angela? Deep thoughts....) and Columbo have a love child, it's totally Veronica Mars. Veronica freaking Mars! The greatest female detective of all time.

      You don't want to be a clone for Umbrella Corp! They could imprint you so that you're best friends with Michelle Rodriguez, and no one wants that. Instead, what you want to be is a clone for Laura Corp. Only Laura Corp has the really stellar clones, because she gets her source material right from the UK. So, you'll be rubbing shoulders with Richard Armitage, Tom Hiddleston, Martin Freeman (YOU KNOW YOU WANNA), and so much more. And I think Laura, CEO of Laura Corp has said too much. Crap.