R9. Twin Temptation by Cara Summers

Twin Temptation (Harlequin Blaze)Pages: 212

Pairing: jewelry designer and PI (sort of)
First Sentence: It was a mansion right out of the books she'd read as a child—Jane Eyre, Rebecca, Wuthering Heights.
Climax: Holding on for dear life, she rode the climax, rode him, until they leapt over that final crest together.

I'm actually pretty much at a loss what to say about this book. For the most part the writing was competent enough that I feel sort of bad ridiculing it. In fact it was probably a little bit more than competent, because it was able to convince me to take the absolutely ludicrous plot seriously. (By the way, this is the first in a two-book "mini-series," so I was pretty lenient with respect to plot holes and stuff, hoping that they're resolved in Twin Seduction, which I unfortunately don't have.)

So let me tell you about this plot: Maddie Farrell is a jewelry designer and rancher in New Mexico, who always thought her mother died when Maddie was a baby. That is, until a fancy New York lawyer (Edward Fitzwalter III) calls to let her know that she's actually the daughter of famous jewelry designer Eva Ware, who has just been run over and killed. Maddie is mentioned in Eva's will, and she has a twin sister, Jordan Ware, that she's never met.

For some reason that's never explained in the book, the girls were separated at birth and Eva Ware decided to make them switch places for three weeks in the terms of her will. So that's what Jordan and Maddie do. In New York, Maddie discovers that her mother was murdered by some jealous relatives, in a sort of background plot that allows her to race around the city, adrenaline rushing, with Jase Campbell, Jordan's roommate. He has some sort of private investigation/security firm.

If the hilarious Parent Trap situation wasn't bad enough, the romance is completely insane. Jase and Maddie first meet when Maddie accidentally ends up in Jase's bed the first night after she arrives in New York from Santa Fe. Jase is also just returning home from some hostage negotiations in a jungle somewhere. Basically they're both exhausted (and if you're worried about the whole "consent" thing, don't be: it's all okay cuz Jase is even more tired than Maddie is), so instead of waking up and being like, "zomg there's another person in this bed," they just have semi-delirious sex.

And then in the morning, instead of waking up and being like, "holy fuck, there's a naked stranger in my bed, I'm calling the cops" they just sort of cuddle and then want to go at it again.

Of course that's because they're meant for each other and everything, so they heavy-handedly fall in love, but only after almost fucking in Central Park, and actually fucking in the elevator of some luxury hotel. Although they of course refer to it, right from the beginning, as "making love."

Anyway, I wish this had been funnier. I hope Apache Nights hasn't spoiled me for every other book ever.

But it was his eyes she couldn't look away from. The photo hadn't captured the color. The mix of dark green and blue reminded her of some of the rarer turquoise stones she worked with.

The sun beat down and moist heat bounced up from the cement sidewalks. (I THINK YOU MEAN "CONCRETE." -M.R.)

"I've never done anything quite like this—ever."
"Good." He didn't want to imagine her making love in semi-public places with anyone but him.

"I know that we come from different worlds. But we'll find a way to build a bridge between them. […]" […]
She smiled at him and framed his face with her hands. "I love you too. Let's build that bridge."

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