The Best 38 Cookin Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Cookin jokes. There are some cookin nothin jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these cookin eatin puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Cookin Jokes and Puns

I was cooking last night and made a joke about being able to figure out the fractions in my head without cutting one of my fingers off. No one laughed.

Guess I wasn't appealing to the lowest common denominator.

While cooking dinner this happened.

I was making stir fry and opened a bag of peas. One pea gets lose and rolls off the counter. It was like slow motion as I watched it hit floor and roll under the stove. I turned to my wife who also witnessed the incident and said: "We have an escape pea." a laugh

When it comes to cooking herb-crusted fish...

...there's a thyme and a plaice.

Cookin joke, When it comes to cooking herb-crusted fish...

Cooking is like Sex

Sometimes it's Hot and Fast!

Other times it's Slow and Sexy

.. I can't cook

Cooking with Hitler

Step 1. Turn on the gas

When cooking a turkey,

Don't worry about seasoning it. It's a waste of thyme.

My wife's cooking is incredible.

With a silent 'cr'.

Cookin joke, My wife's cooking is incredible.

What should you do before cooking the vegetables?

Remove the wheelchair

My cooking is so great....

...that firefighters like to come and watch.

When cooking, I sometimes talk to my knife.

I talk to it about my current life situations.

The knife tells me I'm crazy.

It tends to be pretty sharp about these things, so I guess it has a point.

Cooking is great

You create something that only lasts a few seconds, but the memory last a lifetime.

Like a stillbirth

You can explore cookin ovens reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean cookin recipes dad jokes. There are also cookin puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

"I'm cookin up a storm!"

Grandma said, as the tornado took her and her kitchen up and away

I was cooking a dish with onions in it and my friend cried.

I only now realized recently that she wasn't raising that dog for food.

Cooking is actually really easy for anyone to do

It's just that most people don't have thyme.

My wife's cooking is so bad

we usually pray after our food.

My wife's cooking is so bad…

… we pray after we eat.

Cookin joke, My wife's cooking is so bad…

My wife's cooking is so bad....

We pray to God after the meal

I would really like to get into cooking and making soups

But it seems like i just dont have any thyme on hand.


It's about thyme.

I wish my cooking skills were more creative.

What I'm saying is I wish I could cook outside the box.

My cooking is so awesome...

...even my smoke alarm cheers me on!

"I like cooking up trouble"

Says Miss Chef

My cooking skills are so good

My cooking skills are so good, the smoke detectors cheer me on.

"911 "

"Hello my wife was cookin dinner and she fell" says the husband

"What's the emergency?"

The huband replies " how do I know when the rice is ready?"

What was the last cooking implement used by Anne Frank?

A Dutch Oven

Whats cookin and good lookin? ;)

My Jewish cousin

I tried cooking Chinese spare ribs in the oven instead of the pan.

I'll tell you it was a walk in the park compared to the pork in the wok.

I was cooking dinner, and when I pulled the kielbasa out, I held it up and looked at my wife. I said "don't you wish"?

I should really start feeding her.

I was cooking Chinese food down in Yosemite

... It was a Wok in the park.

Cooking with French ingredients always makes me depressed.

Yesterday I almost lost the huile d'olive.

My wife's cooking is so bad...

She uses the smoke alarm as a timer.

So I tried cooking yesterday and spilled one of the spices I needed.

What a waste of thyme.

Dust pan walks up to the sasage

Am cookin u today!!!!!!!

Cooking is harder than I thought! I ended up with burned eggs on my first attempt

Tip of advice:

don't cook naked

Why was the cooking joke not funny?

Because it didn't pan out

My wife's cooking is fit for a King.

"Here King! Here King!"

My wife's cooking is pretty good, but it makes me sad when she uses so much spice.

I'm starting to think I have seasonal depression.

I really like cooking fruit with sugar.


Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the cookin fil jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.


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