Posted in Life

Domestic Violence: How aware are we? PT4: Sexual Violence





Sexual violence is often misconstrued as gender based it is perceived that sexual violence is male on female.  The truth is, most *reported cases are male against female, but we truly do not know the statistics simply because the majority of the cases are not reported.  Sexual violence can be person against person in any combination of gender or sex.  As the late great Carl Sagan says:

Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence

All types of abuse may yield of level of shame, but sexual abuse is by far the most pervasive in conjunction with off putting confusion.  It may seem self-explanatory, but what is Sexual Violence?  When the term sexual assault comes to mind, what do we automatically think about?  Rape.  When we think about rape, a default scenario comes to mind where some creepy deviant lurking in the shadows comes up from behind with a weapon or bonks some poor unsuspecting female over the head and penetrates her.   That does happen.  And yes, it is rape.  What most frequently happens, however, is that the rapist/abuser is someone known to the survivor.  It could be a relative or even a spouse.

Spousal rape is a thing.  It took society quite a while to grasp that concept.  Legislation on Marital Rape being illegal throughout the United States occurred in 1993.  Although two people are married and are joined, does not mean that one has the right force themselves upon the other or force the other spouse to commit sexual acts against their will which includes sodomy or oral sex.  Any unsolicited sexual act, touching or fondling of any kind (it does NOT have to be penetration) is a violation of an individual’s personal space regardless who it is.

For better or for worse

It is a difficult predicament to be in when a person is being sexually violated by their spouse because there is an onslaught of mixed emotions and social conditioning that somehow Marital Rape is part of the “for worse” part of the wedding vows.  That’s just not true.  Marital Rape is a thing and it is more common than we think.   For information, please see the links below, or feel free to reach out to me if you would like to more information on the topic.

You are an individual.  You are no one’s property and NO means NO


National Domestic Violence Hotline

Quick Guide: Domestic Violence and Sexual Abuse

5 Statistics That’ll Change How You Think About Marital Rape



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