Wednesday, 7 December 2016

Let's Build and Brew It Right!

So, recently me and my dad spent a couple of days building a super-simple home-brew set up with material supplied by Wickes (and a home-brew kit supplied by Home Brew Depot) and you can watch the video about how we built it here on YouTube and there's a bit of an emotional one here about how lovely it was to do this with my dad.

There will be more to come soon, including the recipe for the DIY IPA that I made as my first solo home-brew, yes, you read that right, first solo home-brew - and it doesn't suck!

Creating something of your own is a deeply satisfying thing to do. Brewing might become a lifelong hobby, or just an excuse to hang out with your friends, sitting in a comfy chair in your shed, drinking a few brews whilst your beer kit bubbles away in the background. Either way, it’s well worth trying your hand at it.

Once you’ve watched this video and read the step-by-step guide, you’ll know just how fun and easy it is to transform your garden shed into your very own ‘beervana’. It gives advice on how to construct a two-tiered frame to support the mash tun and hot liquor tank, how to assemble the fermentation and maturation units as well as how to secure them safely within the brewing shed.

Preparation & Planning
Firstly, you need to decide on a suitable location to house your home brew. It should be somewhere dry where there is enough space to safely carry out the brewing process, so a garden shed, whether old or new, can offer the perfect spot.

Brewing tends to generate a lot of steam so if there isn’t much ventilation inside your shed then it’s best to waterproof it to help preserve the wood. You will also need to have access to a power source, we used an outdoor extension lead, but if you decide to put in a direct power source then it’s best to contact a qualified electrician.

We built our home brew to fit the available space within the 7X7 Wickes Barn Decorative Shed. However, you can adapt these principles and measurements to fit the space you have. Bear in mind that if you aren’t building your frames to the same size as ours then you will also need to find an alternative to the galvanised steel sheets, but be sure to use something sufficiently robust. If in doubt, consult Wickes staff in-store or via customer services.

Once the build is complete you can add a padlock or an alarm to your shed to help keep your beery bounty safe.

It’s important to regularly clean and sanitise the brew shed and all the equipment, especially before and after use.
Hints & Tips:Making sure your measurements are accurate is key to ensuring that your frames are level. It’s best to mark the wood clearly before sawing so you have a guideline to follow, you can use the 90-degree guide marker on your saw or a set square to do this. Your two tiered frames also need to be structurally sound, as they will be supporting the weight of your hot liquor tank and mash tun, so it’s best to measure and mark out all pilot holes to ensure your fixings are as accurate so possible.

You can build your home brew on your own but it’s easier and much more fun with a helping hand, so ask a friend or family member if they can help out
Make sure you firmly secure the timber and take care when sawing, drilling or routing. When drilling it’s also best to wear safety glasses and when routing you should wear glasses a dust mask and ear defenders. Wearing gloves when handling the timber is also advised.

We have designed our brew shed with a two-tier frame to make the brewing process much less labour intensive by utilising gravity. Positioning the kitchen units only a short distance away also makes everything easier to reach and much safer to lift. If you aren’t following our design then bear these factors in mind when planning the layout of your home brew.

Offcuts of treated timber should never be burned, but need to be disposed of safely – your local recycling centre should be able to advise.

We need to cut the wood for the two frames. The highest wooden frame is for your hot liquor tank (HLT) and the lower one is for your mash tun.
Take your first piece of 45x70x2400mm Wickes kiln dried timber and secure it in your workbench. Measure and mark out three 460mm sections and draw guidelines then saw. With the remaining section, measure out and cut a 600mm section. 

Write (in pencil) the length you have cut on each piece of wood and place together in a pile, do this for all the sections you prepare.

Take your second piece of 45x70x2400mm Wickes kiln dried timber and secure it in your workbench. Measure and mark out four 500mm. 

Take your third piece of 45x70x2400mm Wickes kiln dried timber and secure it in your workbench. Measure and mark out three 600mm sections and cut. With the remaining section measure out and cut a 460mm piece.

Take your fourth piece of 45x70x2400mm Wickes kiln dried timber and secure it in your workbench. Measure, mark out and cut two 900mm sections. With the remaining section measure out and cut a 460mm piece.

Take your final piece of 45x70x2400mm Wickes kiln dried timber and secure it in your workbench. Measure, mark out and cut a further two 900mm sections and one more 460mm piece. You have now prepared all the timber sections for your frame. You should have 4 x 900mm sections, 4 x 500mm sections, 4 x 600mm sections and 6 x 460mm sections.

ROUTING THE FRAME Fit your router with the 20mm bit. Then, set your parallel guide to a width of 20mm and a depth of 5.5mm.

Secure one of your 460mm sections in your workbench with the 70mm side facing upwards. Rout all the way along the length of the wood. Repeat this for three more 460mm sections and the four 600mm sections.

ASSEMBLING THE TOP OF THE FRAMESTake one of the 460mm sections. Measure in 15mm and draw a mark. Then measure and mark a pilot hole at 25mm in from the opposite side to your routed edge. Repeat this at the opposite end.

Drill your pilot holes. Then, take your countersink bit and create countersunk holes at each end. Repeat this process on another three of the 460mm sections.

11. Take one of the routed 600mm sections. On the routed area, measure in 25mm from the far end and mark. Drill a countersunk hole and then repeat this at both ends of all the 600mm sections.

12. On one of the 600mm sections, from the opposite side of the routed edge, measure and mark pilot holes at 15mm and 55mm for the end. Drill your pilot and countersunk holes and repeat at each end of all the 600mm sections.

Now it’s time to glue and screw your frames together. You might want to ask someone to help you with this step - it does make life a little easier but it’s not totally necessary. Make sure you’ve got an extra set of protective gear for them though, no one likes splinters!

Secure one of the 600mm sections onto a large level surface using clamps.

14. Take one of the 460mm sections and add wood glue to the end you will be attaching to the 600mm section. Make sure the routed edge will be facing inwards.

Put the 460mm section into position, making sure the edges are flush and either ask someone to hold it or clamp it in place. Then, extend the pilot holes at 15mm and 55mm so they go through into the 460mm section.

16. Fit your drill with the screwdriver bit and 100mm screws and secure in both holes on each corner. Repeat this on the opposite side to create the top of your first frame.

17. Take a 460mm length and add wood glue to each end. Then, place it exactly in the centre of the square frame and flush with the level of the routing. The 70mm side should be facing upwards. This piece of timber will act as extra support for the hot liquor tank and mash tun.

18. Secure this section by drilling a 5mm pilot hole and countersunk hole on each side before fixing in place with 100mm screws. Repeat the above steps to create the top of the second frame.

19. To attach the legs to your frame, turn the frame upside down and clamp. Move the edge of your frame off the side of the workbench, just enough so that you will be able to drill the legs in place.

20. Glue the end of the legs that will attach to frame and put it into position, making sure someone is holding them firmly in place for you. Drill through the pilot holes into the leg before securing with two 100mm screws. Repeat this process until all legs are in place on both frames.

21. Turn the frames the right way up and further tighten the screws.

22. Take your first piece of 25X38X3600mm treated roof batten and secure it in your workbench. Measure and mark three 975mm sections and then saw.

23. Take your second piece of 25X38X3600mm treated roof batten and secure it in your workbench. Measure and mark out another 975mm section and saw.

24. From the remaining length of baton measure out and mark five 150mm sections. These will form the chocks that will give the batten extra support and make it easier to attach.

25. From the floor at the back left of your shed, measure 860mm up the inside of the shed’s vertical battening and clearly mark with a line. Then, repeat this on the middle vertical batten.

26. Measure and mark out 510mm up from the floor on the same two vertical battens. Then, repeat this on the front left vertical batten so that all 3 sections of batten on the left hand side of the shed are marked.

27. You will need to add chocks where it isn’t possible to drill directly through the vertical batten to secure the horizontal batten in place. In this case, we need to add 5 chocks. Start by measuring 50mm down from each end of the chock and drilling pilot holes with a 5mm drill bit. Then apply wood glue and line the chock up with the top of your pencil mark. Secure with two 80mm screws and repeat for the rest of the chocks.

28. Place a 975mm section of batten onto the lower chocks and drill a pilot hole through the batten and into the chock, make sure that you do this off centre so as not to clash with other screws. It’s also best to countersink all screws throughout the battening process. Secure the baton to the chock with an 80mm screw. Repeat this for the other lower section.

29. To attach the batten at 860mm, apply wood glue to the end that will not be resting on a chock, then, ask someone to hold the batten in place for you. Drill pilot and countersunk holes through the vertical batten and into the side of the horizontal batten. Secure with an 80mm screw.

30. Then, on the back right hand corner and centre right hand wall vertical battens mark a line 200mm below where the highest point of your cupboards will be. Then, add the last chock and secure your final section of 975mm batten as you did on the opposite side of the shed by drilling through the centre vertical batten to secure it.

31. Bring your frames into the shed and put them into position up against the batten. Use your 5mm drill bit to drill a pilot hole half way between the central support and the frame on both sides.

32. Secure to the batten with an 80mm screws through each pilot hole.

33. Once the frames are secure, put on your gloves before taking two of the galvanised sheets and placing them side-by-side into the large frame.

34. Then take the second two sheets and lay them crossways on top.

35. Take the final two sheets and fit them in the same direction as the first two. Laying them like this will give extra support.

36. Repeat this process for the smaller frame.

37. Assemble your kitchen units on a firm surface and be sure to follow manufacturers instructions. It’s best not to join the cupboards together at this stage as it will make them easier to handle and to fit the insulation.

38. Take one of your cupboards and measure all the interior surfaces, including the top which is currently not covered but will also need insulation.

39. Using a Stanley knife, cut out the six pieces of insulation foil you need but make them slightly larger than each of the surfaces. This will allow a slight overlap to ensure there isn’t any gaps.

40. Using a staple gun, staple the insulation foil into place on all the interior surfaces.

41. Move the cabinets into position up against the back right hand wall of the shed and follow manufacturers instruction to attach the two kitchen cupboards together. Then, secure them to the batten using the provided attachments.

42. Place your laminate worktop onto your workbench and clamp. Cut the worktop to 100mm longer than the width of the cabinets to allow for a slight overhang. Then, fit as per manufacturer's instructions and use provided edging tape to finish the cut end.

43. Finally, move your brewing kit into position and then that’s it, you are done and ready to brew!

This post is part of a job I did for Wickes

Wednesday, 9 November 2016

To My Niece and Nephew, and Others of Their Generation

I'm so sorry, I don't know what else to say for the dangerous legacy being heaped upon generations to come.

I'm not sure when we lost our way so badly. 

I'm not sure how, contrary to all scientific standards, we are managing to go backwards with our social evolution and I'm cannot fathom how we have got into the situation where hate, fear and protecting what's yours has become more important than protecting our society as a whole.

Maybe it was because, somewhere along the way, we forgot just how damn good so many of us have it.

Do we find ourselves so far away from the awful wars that ripped the world apart in the 20th century, and situations like the Cuban missile crisis, that it seems a smart move to have a dangerously foolish and narcissistic man, surrounded by much more clever and malevolent interest parties, with his finger on the button.

I am at a loss to see how in the US that so many intelligent and seasoned politicians seemed incapable of addressing the root cause of this issue.

How could they not sway the mentality of educated people who live in relative comfort or spectacular wealth that, somehow, helping raise the standards of those less well off is something to be feared is the cause of this - it's not the 'disenfranchised poor white man' you only have to look at the numbers of college educated, middle-class whites who voted Trump in the US elections to see that.

There is no universe in which people like me and the much, much richer would be penalised unduly to raise up the lot of those who have next to nothing, how did we get to the point where in the US, a country I really love, where educated people with so little to lose decided that they wanted to vote for a man, and his cronies, who seem hell bent on destroying their whole country and taking the world with them.

And although, statistically, it was the reverse here with the Brexit vote, with those with less education and considered to be 'lower class', voted to leave, it was a direct echo of the US elections in that it was built on a tissue of lies and the cult of personality - albeit the morally repugnant ones of the likes of Nigel Farage and Boris Johnson, who have no need to worry about the consequences of their actions because they are rich and white and there will always be jobs for those kind of boys.

How have we allowed ourselves to slowly cave in to a world of post-factual debate, where that cult of personality has become more important than professional competency and where hate and fear have overtaken - and we find ourselves back to the points of history I made earlier all too neatly.

It seems all too easy to say make blithe comparisons to Nazi Germany right now but I'm sure you've studied it in school and it must be on your mind that this sounds horribly familiar and all I can pray is that we aren't heading down that road, but it does feel like the start of it is far, far behind us.

How do we have people amongst us who aren't voting on principle or on a considered analysis but on some sort of 'they're going to take it all away from me'? And are so ashamed of their protectionist attitude towards their own position that they can't even admit it to pollsters, who don't even record their names.

And in everything that is going on, let's not forget that one of the most balanced and caring politicians we had in the UK was murdered during the Brexit campaign and the man accused will go on trial this month or that a man was able to sit outside a polling station in the US with a sign that said 'faggots vote Democrat' and a gun isn't going to even face prosecution.

Let alone the message that is sent to any victim of sexual violence, especially women, that a man who is accused of 11 counts of sexual assault, can be elected as 'the leader of the free world'.

So, I'm making this plea to you my darling niece and nephew, and to all of their generation - be better than us, 

Lead us into an era of compassion and sense, lead us into a world where facts are more important than the frothing hatemongers hell-bent on feathering their own nests and where caring and embracing other cultures is more important than building walls; continue the work of breaking down barriers that has characterised so much of society in the last 50 years or so and, most importantly, love your fellow humans - we have more in common than we do separating us and that intelligent and thoughtful actions around caring, understanding and acceptance are the most important things you should open your hearts and minds to. 

And always remember that I love you, you are our future, please make it a bright one.

Wednesday, 24 August 2016

Orange Beer Ice Cream

On a damn hot day it seemed like a good time to publish this – enjoy!

Makes about 1.5l ice cream

I served mine with a doppelbock fondant tarte that I'll post the recipe for soon
400ml whole milk (preferably Jersey as it’s got extra fat content that will make up for the beer not having any)
75ml Orbit Peel or Earth Ales Spicy Weisse
300ml double cream
5 egg yolk

140g caster sugar  (EDIT SEE *)          
zest 2 oranges (blood if in season)
4tbsps of blood orange juice or juice of one orange

  1. If you have time, freeze the orange juice
  2. Gently heat milk, beer cream until it starts to just bubble
  3. Whilst you’re keeping an eye on that, whisk together yolks and sugar until it’s properly amalgamated and very pale
  4. Get a damp towel under your bowl so it doesn’t move around and then gradually whisk in the warm beer/milk/cream, do not stop whisking or you’ll get lumps!
  5. Return to pan, really gently heat and stir until thickened (I find one of those silicone spatulas is best for this, it brings it off the base of the saucepan best) DO NOT STOP STIRRING
  6. When you can draw a firm line on the back of the spatula you are done
  7. Allow to cool for a few moments and then stir in zest and (frozen) juice, which will help bring the temperature down, pass through a fine sieve in case you did scramble some egg and put in a metal bowl and allow to get very cold in fridge
  8. Churn in an ice cream maker or follow this method if you don’t have one – enjoy!
*I've since been introduced to invertase for cooking, which is invert sugar which is used in brewing too and it makes much, much smoother ice cream and sorbets, use equivalent amounts if you can get it

Friday, 1 July 2016

Simple Beer Bread Recipe


your teeth into it... that's this bread.


First off, let's discuss the beer.
















But, how do you get that temperature? 







Simple Beer Bread
Makes 1 medium loaf
300g strong wholemeal flour
200g strong white flour
1tsp fine ground sea salt
1tsp quick yeast
1.5tsp maple syrup
150ml boiling water
150ml cold Ebulum
1.5tsp ground nut oil (or another fairly neutral oil)
Half pint of tap water to hand for baking part
1tbsp linseeds
1tbsp sunflower seeds

  1. Pre heat your oven to 210C/190C fan
  7. Pre-heat you oven to 220C/200C fan

Wednesday, 25 May 2016

A Brief Commercial Interlude

Tonight I'm launching a beer I brewed with Jonny Park of Tap East and my dad for his 70th birthday.

Mischief managed!
This, in case you are wondering, is what he looked like when he was about five years old - tie askew and clearly plotting something naughty for when he gets out of school.

And, if I'm really honest, I don't think he's changed much mentality-wise, he's just got better at getting away with stuff as he's got older!

I may also resemble this remark...

However, it would be wrong to say I'm just like my dad, I'm not, I am, without doubt, the sum of my mum and dad's personalities, with a little of 'just me' in there too.

I have my mum's blunt pragmatism, 'don't give a shit what you think' attitude and her moves on the dance floor.

The best way I can explain why I've picked out those three things as most resembling my mum, is also a story of one the funniest things I have EVER seen.

Let me set the scene: my bestie Christine has a fabulous loft apartment in Clerkenwell and it's the perfect party venue and she kindly offered it to me for my 30th birthday party, which was ace.

So, there's about 40 of us having a great time apart form one person the girlfriend of a (now former) friend who I had explicitly asked him not to bring... nobody liked her as she was the judgiest person ev-ah!

Look at that wicked grin!
Anyway, mum & I were dancing away happily to my great mate Dave VJ spinning the tunes but he couldn't play music loud enough to drown out her chuntering away about how we were dancing and how 'inappropriate it was for a woman of Bernice's age' and so on and so on.

So, after two songs of this behaviour my mum, god love her, had had quite enough and straight-up slut dropped - waving her booty right in front of this judgy baggage's face!!! Stood up and said: "No, that's probably a little inappropriate for a woman my age but I don't give a shit what you think" before sashaying her way back over to where I was standing with my jaw on the floor before bursting into uncontrollable howls of glee at her actions.

Honest to god, in my eyes that evening, my mum wore a cape that fluttered in the non-existent wind as she stood there with her hands on her hips like a dance floor-owning, bitch-slapping goddess.

That's what I get from my mum and I love that side of me, and her.

However, there's no doubt I have more similarities to my dad as I grow older - which my mum & sister would tell you is not necessarily a good thing!

We go fishing together, we like to work with our hands, we are both story tellers (although I cannot tell jokes and my dad excels at it) and if you leave us alone together for long enough we're almost bound to get in trouble/break something/do something silly that will piss my mum off/be reduced to uncontrollable giggles at a joke only we understand... or all the above.

It was my dad that taught me that being selfish isn't necessarily a bad thing, as long as you don't hurt other people along the way. By 'selfish' I mean doing what you want to do, to achieve what you want to achieve or experience new things and gain new skills in life.

He was also my role model for striking out on my own and offered lots of advice and support to me as I did so.

However, the thing I love most is spending time on the river bank with him, nothing does my soul as much good as hanging out with my dad for the day, trying to catch trout and setting the world to rights.

Smelling gooooood! 
But brewing this beer came a close second.

Seeing dad recognise how much hard work and expertise goes into a brew, seeing me chatting with a brewer about how we were going to progress through the day, what we were looking to achieve and then getting stuck in was brilliant.

Not so keen on the hurry up and wait aspect (he's also where I get my notorious lack of patience for things that aren't engaging me from) it's probably the most engaged I've seen him in a project that doesn't involve woodwork, springer spaniels, sailing or fishing.

And it's the personal nature of the brew that I'm thrilled with too - Commercial Road is named after the road in the East End of London that connected the East & West Indies Docks.

It's also happens to be where my grandparents lived until their house was bombed in WWII and they ended up in Englefield Green in Surrey, (a wonderland for naughty little boys to grow up, with Windsor Great Park just down the road!).

So, between the connection to my dad's parents and the fact that the road joined the docks where IPA was shipped to the Indies, it seemed only natural to brew an English-style IPA.

However, right at this point in time I am more scared about a collab launch than I've ever been.
I haven't been able to try it yet and I can only hope that we've created something that's half as memorable as the day of brewing it and that the fun we had making the beer somehow comes through.

Whatever the outcome, it's a day that I'll never forget and one I hope was a nice present for my dad, who isn't in the least bit 70, he's still that tie-askew, wide-eyed-at-the-world, total hooligan you saw in that picture above and in that, and so many other things, he will always be my role model.

Quick thank you to Jim and the guys at Simply Hops, without me even asking, donated the hops for the day - we used Target for bittering and three additions of Warrior Queen and Endeavour and a dry hop of both too.

Big love goes to Jonny Park at Tap East who was unstinting with his time, knowledge and ability to cover me in wort on the day! And thanks to Mike Hill & Richard Dinwoodie for allowing us to go and play on the kit.