Pushing Buttons

We’ve all had our buttons pushed to the point where we feel we really can’t take it any longer, and chances are, we’ve all pushed somebody else’s buttons, with or without knowing it. The button pusher may not be aware of what they’re doing, but in the end the buttons belong to us, and we are the ones who must deal with what comes up. The more we take responsibility for our own feelings and reactions, the less reactive these buttons will be.

man wearing brown suit jacket mocking on white telephone

Photo by Moose Photos on Pexels.com

We’ve all had the experience of having someone snap at us, it would appear from nowhere. This happens when we unconsciously push a button in someone else we didn’t even know was there. This can happen with a complete stranger and sometimes with a person we’ve known very well for years. We ourselves may also have a relationship with someone whose buttons we secretly would like to push. Buttons are just soft spots that have been touched one too many times, and they symbolise some pain that needs to be acknowledged and healed. This may be a wound remembered from childhood, or a recent trauma, that we haven’t adequately tended. Whatever the case, when our buttons get pushed, the person who most needs our attention and caring is us, and blaming the button pusher only distracts us from finding a true resolution to our suffering.

At the same time, if someone continually opens our wounds so that they never have time to heal, we must set a boundary with that person. Compulsive button pushers, who seem to find pleasure or satisfaction in hurting us, are not welcome in our personal space. In the end, knowing where our buttons are enables us to do the work necessary to heal. Freedom comes when we deal with the pain behind the button, thus disconnecting our automatic reaction to being pushed which will in turn stop the button pusher.



Maggie Currie


Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk






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Maggie Currie

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk


Bouncing back

Life happens.  It doesn’t matter how positive you are or how balanced and centred you are, there are going to be times when you are knocked sideways. Times when your carefully organized life is turned upside down and you get knocked for six.  Life happens!


Let’s face it. Things happen. They’re part of life and no matter how you try to explain them away with the idea that “everything happens for a reason,” they hurt. And they hurt a lot!



At times like these you’re probably going to feel down, maybe depressed. You will probably feel anger or some other manifestation of your pain. Whatever you’re feeling, it’s ok. It’s ok to feel hurt, sad, angry or whatever your true feelings are. You cannot deny pain any more than you can deny fear. The only way through this is to give yourself permission to feel the feeling.


The difference between people who get through life’s challenging moments, regardless of the seriousness, and those who are immobilized by the events is their ability to bounce back.


Take the example of two people being downsized from their job, something that is becoming a natural occurrence these days.  One is floored by the news of his dismissal.  He expresses his pain by becoming angry at his employers, his colleagues and the system in general.  He spends his days telling anyone who’ll listen, about his “problem.”

Usually from a barstool!

As he sees it, his life is ruined and he’s blaming everyone for his troubles.  People who react like this spend weeks, even months or years, wallowing in despair until, if they’re fortunate, someone close to them convinces them to seek professional help.


On the other hand, the other person reacts very differently.  Although they have gone through the same experience, and have pretty much the same issues like living expenses, etc., they choose to react differently.

After a brief period of feeling a loss of self-esteem, self-pity and anger, they decide to get back in the game. They begin contacting their network of colleagues, avail themselves of the courses and other services their former employer offered everyone and starts actively looking for a new position.  In a short time they find their “dream job” with an exciting new company.




When something devastating happens to you, allow yourself some time to grieve your loss.  However, don’t allow yourself to get stuck there. Take some action. Join a support group, talk about your feelings with a trusted friend or your spiritual advisor.  If necessary, seek professional help.






Maggie Currie

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Refocusing after setbacks

How many times have you thought you were getting through a life trauma, or you are in the aftermath, and then you hit a setback and it seems that you went back to the way you were? I know I have.

Don’t worry, you are not the only one!  Setbacks and difficulties occur all of the time – they are a natural activity of life. It really doesn’t feel like that at the time.

There are two ways of facing difficulties. You can either change or alter the difficulty, or you can alter yourself to be able to deal with it.

Deal with difficulties correctly and you will enhance your confidence, deal with them incorrectly and you can do some serious damage to your feelings of self worth.


When you are faced with any setback your ability to deal with it can be turned around into a position of strength by asking yourself positive empowering questions.  There is an unwritten rule that says:


So, if after a setback you ask yourself something like “Why does this always happen to me, I never have any luck?” That little voice inside your head will probably come out with:


Sound familiar?

Instead, if you ask yourself a positive empowering question like:

“What did I learn from this setback that will help me the next time?”

Your little voice inside your head will be silenced and you will kick into solution mode.

Here are some rules and things to think about when setbacks do occur:

  • Acknowledge that it has happened. Don’t hide from it. These things happen. So what?
  • What positive empowering questions can you ask yourself?
  • What is good about this situation? There is always something good in any situation, you just have to find it.
  • How can I make the most of this situation?
  • What can I/did I learn from it?
  • What are the facts about this problem?
  • How can I make it a successful outcome?

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Acknowledge that setbacks occur to everyone and you are not being singled out. View them as a challenge to overcome rather than an issue or problem.

Think about those negative dis-empowering thoughts that you think on a regular basis after a setback.  The ones that little voice keeps nagging you about.

What new empowering questions could you ask yourself to give yourself some better answers?

Write them down now and make them become a habit.

I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Maggie Currie

Coach, Mentor, Consultant, Speaker, Author, Survivor

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://goo.gl/ZByKGW
Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk