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The Terminators: 1, 2 and 3
Author - Kirill

The Terminator:
T2: Judgment Day:
T3: Rise of the Machines:

Being the lazy ass that I am, I didn't bother to refresh my memory of the Terminator world (you know, not having seen T2 in over 5 years and T1 ever) so when I went to see T3: The Rise of the Machines I didn't know what the hell I was supposed to peice together to form a plot that works nicely. Best I could do was use what I see in front of me and what I have heard about T1/2 and what I may possible remember. In some ways, this is good, in other ways, its bad. The good is that I don't really have anything to compare T3 to, since I hear that T2 is phenomenol and impossible to match. Bad because maybe I see something that's clearly there, but it may have been answered before. Also, if it wasn't answered before, it's a bad sign that I find it predictable (for the filmmakers that is).

Anyway, I watched T3 on Tuesday, during the special advance showings and I found the story pretty straight forward and like I said, rather predictable (especially towards the end). It was nothing spectacular on my first viewing, just some great, intense action with wonderful CG and stunt work integration (some bits were the best I've seen). I had fun watching it and the next day I was going to write a review of it, until I came across the review at Ain't it Cool News and some of the comments about it that I realised knowing the story to parts 1 and 2 were integral for understanding all of it.

So I decided not to be a lazy ass at that moment and watch the two films, problem was, I didn't own them and no way of getting them until later on. So I started doing nothing (or stopped doing something, whichever) and forgot about it entirely. Luckily though, Thomas wanted to see it again, and since I had nothing better to do, I came along for a second viewing of T3.

Let me say this, it gets better seeing it again in such a short span of time. This only happens to a few films (ie, Forrest Gump) so I realized that I actually liked this film more than I originally thought (so it bumped up its current rating by half a star). The only problem I had this time was that still, there were references back to #1 and 2 that I couldn't quite connect to the grand scheme of what is Terminator. So, being the genius that I am, I borrowed T1 and 2 from Thomas that same night and watched them today.

The Terminator was pretty damn boring overall. Few things kept my interest and I stopped caring about the characters about half way through. The only cool stuff was when we say 2029 and the final fight sequence. The only interesting stuff was when Reese talked about the future and again, we saw more stuff from then. To put it simply, the 80's s sucked. Yes - they did. They sucked so much I got a headache by simply looking at what stuff looked like back then. I'm glad I wasn't fully conscience back then and don't remember. Had T1 not been in the 80's, it would have made for a much more enjoyable atmosphere and viewing experience.

T2: Judgment Day, on the other hand, was fucking great. I loved almost every second of it. I could probably go downstairs and watch it again now, if I weren't too tired to get up or stop writing this review (because once I get into a writing mode and I stop, I won't get back in). There are only a few things I could complain about: there wasn't enough (yeah, the movie's over 2-hours long; eat me) and Edward Furlong's voice (some other trivial stuff like Sarah all-of-a-sudden narrating when it wasn't necessary, but I'll let it slide). There was just something about the way I heard John Connor (which is a pretty cool name, more on names later) speaking that pissed me off. It started to wear on my ears. On top of that, many parts seemed dubbed to me. Other than that, Edward Furlong did a pretty damn good job; even crying like a pussy (I thought he was supposed to be a man, what the fuck was it with that feelings crap. The T-101/800 whatever you want to call him kicks ass and everyone loves him, yet he doesn't need to cry. Shut up, I know he's a fucking robot).

I talked about what I thought about T3: The Rise of the Machines above, so I won't repeat myself. But I do have certain gripes with The Terminator in general. That whole thing with his glasses. To me, it seems that he kicks major ass better when he has glasses.

Once he looses them, he starts to get damaged, which is cool and all with the make-up, but I'd rather seem him kick ass more. Besides that, the glasses seem to be something that the Terminator prefers, which makes no fucking sense because he's not supposed to have any feelings, desires, taste etc, especially early on in the films (T2 and 3) where he hasn't really been 'taught' by John as he puts it. In T1, it makes sense because he needs to cover up his fucked up eye so people wouldn't stare and bother him (but honestly, who wouldn't stare at a mammoth walking by?), so I could deal with that (even then, remember that once he lost his glasses, he got his ass whipped and burned and shit). Then in T2 and T3, he just puts them on because of what seems to me - personal taste. Did I miss something? In T3 he was going on about how he's just a machine and none of that matters. What's worse, is that in T3, they try to expand slightly that the Terminator has taste when he first picks up star glasses (the ones where the frame is the outline of a star - that's right, they look like shit). But then again, whatever, he looks cooler in glasses and like I said, kicks ass more.

The last thing I want to touch upon is that Terminator has some of the best fucking names for shit in it. Examples: John Connor, The Terminator, Cyberdyne, T-1000, Betsy - played by Moira Harris (okay, I'm sorry about that one), T-X and my favorite and also the best damn name for something global and all-powerful and kick ass: SkyNET. How kick ass is that name? I know, it rules. So I was sitting here at my computer, being totally useless when I have lots of shit to do and I started thinking about how kick ass that name really is. This thinking led to some completely random thought about ViaCom and I realized that the only thing that could really pull of something like SkyNET would be ViaCom. It all just clicked. The names have the same amount of letters; they are two words combined in the same area; they pretty much mean the same thing; and they both sound cool, SkyNET though, being infinitely better. So then, I was bored and went online to see what I can find if SkyNET and ViaCom are ever mentioned together. And you know what I found?! ... Nothing. Seems too perfect for me, as if they don't want anything known. The only thing I could find was this picture I made after my failed search:

See, there's a robot and fire there to show power! And in the bottom it says, "Probably another property of ViaCom". I know Louis would agree with me on that. Right Louis? And of course, because the name rules, I suppose it's appropriate to have their slogan "We Rule!" Go figure.

In the end though, all of this is just from a movie, err, three movies. One being alright, one being fucking kick ass and the other down-right shitty. That's enough of my 1am rambling for now. Once more people have seen T3 (and the others, don't be a lazy fuck like me), I may post why the war must happen and it's a given all the way from T1. That is, if I don't become lazy again, as I always do.

zzzZZZzzz = Kirill the Great.
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