The Confusion and Emotions

woman s face
Photo by Elina Krima on

The confusion and emotions have overwhelmed because something has happened. It can have occurred due to a long hrs working shift, which aggravated her condition. She has felt some headache as she left the work. Both boys run toward her as she entered the house.

Ina asks her, “why have you come so late?”
She walks directly upstairs, and both boys start to follow her. Banny asks, “why are you so quiet? Why are you not smiling?”
Ina said, “does everything okay at your work? Have you cried again”?
She is quiet. Her head hurt so badly, but she feels emotionally so numb. This is why she ignores the boys. She takes the package out of her purse and tries to keep inside the locker. Suddenly, the folder drops on the floor when Banny had jumped to get her attention. Both boys start looking at the documents before she says something to them.
Ina sighs, “oh, it makes sense now why are you quiet. This is the reason that you were trying to reach someone”.
Tears wells into her eyes. She says sadly, “it doesn’t matter anymore. It is not necessary anymore. We will burn everything in bonfire tomorrow”.
Banny asks again, “you still have not told us why you have come late.”
She ignores the questions. She goes to bed directly after changing her clothes. She doesn’t want to watch TV or drink anything. She is quiet than her usual normal.
In the morning time, she was so happy, but her sadness has returned as the day was progressed. She has pleased meeting with her old co-workers. Many could not resist their happiness, so they ran to hug her. Many have grabbed her phone to enter their contact number in case she needs any help. Later, she deleted all the numbers. “I don’t like calling anybody. I don’t want to disturb anybody”.
She has met her new boss for the first time. She has never seen this person before. Maybe he came here due to out of the state transfer, which she doesn’t care at all. The new boss is from her native country. After talking about professional life, he asked about her children and husband. She just smiled, “children have gone for good”

She could not say that the soul husband has become estranged and weak. He has forgotten her, but she did not. She still has the same passion and compassion for him. She still thinks that he is first and last. She could not say, ‘any of your business’. He loves what he sees but not what he feels.
She has told her boss politely,” He lives in India. He loves his uniform. no, I do not have any plan to go back soon, so don’t worry about my schedule problem. I will visit some friends and family but not at this time now”.

She shuts off the light. It is dark inside the room now. She closes her eyes and thinks,” sometimes I don’t know if I should laugh or cry. I can’t trust anybody because of him. I have become paranoid that someone will break my emotions again. This fear keeps me away from everyone. I do try my best but suddenly it comes into my brain. I will quiet again. I want to go back to the same world where I was before meeting him.
The world before and during his presence has been ended now. She lives in a strange world now. He has taken everything away when he left. Now, my soul is empty and confused. My world is empty. My brain is full of questions and curiosity”.

She fails to understand why people use others’ emotions. Why people leave someone to die alone in the pain. She fails to understand why someone allows drowning others for their selfish behavior. They just watch how a person suffers before drowning to death.

Her eyes are getting heavy now. She tells the boys, “we need to make ourselves stronger. We already know how to live alone. We need to know how to survive.
Now, we need to learn how to stop someone to invade this empty world. We will live longer and happily We will not care whatsoever happening out there. Let’s make a promise with an Almighty about it because we will be needing his blessings to keep our promise. There will be a bonfire in the morning. It doesn’t matter if snow or what. Please, remind me if I forget about the bonfire.

She tries to close her eyes but Ina asks, “you still have not told us why you were late to come home?”

She smiles and tells the boys, “silly me, I was so lost remembering him and lost my way home, so I have to detour which was longer”.

Both boys say,” seriously mom, how long you live in this place and how many years you are driving on the same road. How could you forget”

She smiles again, “yes, I had walked with your father on the same road. I have driven the car along with your father on the same road. I can remember him but often I forget everything else because I am busy remembering him. I will write to him”.

Three of them were gone to sleep while talking to each other.

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