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<aden> i'm an idiot, came in to work today and i've got the day off
<Paul2> man vengaboys were awesome
<Muz> MuzFfuuuu.png (repeat forever)
<caitlin> the musicians need to get home to bed, so they can get up early and work on their business plan
<@jontyw> this is why I love russ:
<@jontyw> <russ> I found a piece of leuttice in my wallet this morning, so I presume I had a kebab.
<Paul2> the sad thing is people have nothing better to do with their lives but add trees to OSM
<@t0m> I'm also fairly big on angle grinding, and generally most things which can result in accidental breakage of rule 0
<@m00> rule 0?
<@t0m> Do not be on fire.
<@solexious> Should the used Ferric Chloride and Sodium Silicate be returned into their respective bottles?
<parag0n> drink them
<parag0n> they're harmless once used
<parag0n> and taste delicious
<Paul2> AircraftInteriorsExpo, continuing the trend of putting anyword infront of expo and thinking it will be great.
<parag0n> who wants to buy sealand and start a hackspace there
<tomwardill> the commute is a bit of a bitch
<ICANN> have you guys ever heard of the landline hacking?
<ICANN> well not hacking really but secret
<theothers> It's not called that anymore, it's Bushwhacking.
<theothers> If you ever see arpawocky on this channel he would be able to teach you how to build this stuff, he tought me.
<ICANN> to build what?
<@parag0n> mains phase shifter, other disco equipment
<codexn> caitlin ,i am wish to make friends with you !just talk something we like ,ok?
<@Alex> ...wat
<caitlin> hush you, i stand to make my first ever friend
<@aden> i read irc, twitter, and facebook, that's like reading a few really badly written books every day
<@russss> it's dark. There may be a nonzero chance of being eaten by a grue
<@solexious> Im going to repurpose one of my strobe beacons and hook it up to a methane sensor for the loos
<@solexious> ow, protip, dont solder naked
<ms7821> I am not sleeping on the dong
<robonaut> t0m opened the hackspace door.
<robonaut> t0m opened the hackspace door.
<robonaut> t0m opened the hackspace door.
<robonaut> t0m opened the hackspace door.
<glen2> Pizza printer?
<Blapto> pizza printer!
<glen2> So a cheese extruider?
<aden> going to put pizza dough in the makerbot instead of PLA
<glen2> Please don't touch the Makerbot.
<@aden> you can't own a mac and be a troll, you'd spend all day trolling yourself
<@solexious> oni_: less dancing, more grinding
<@roberthl> aden: is that... bacon?
<parag0n> eve is basically a spreadsheet
<parag0n> with a pretty 3d UI
<oni_> jontyw: where did you find that site?
<jontyw> oni_, which site?
<oni_> http://youtubecrack.on.nimp.org
<earlbot> [ GNAA Last Measure Live! ]
<jontyw> DO NOT CLICK
<Tamsin> I was going to ask if that was SFW :)
<oni_> lol, indeed
<roberthl> ah fuck
<roberthl> thanks guys :(
<@solexious> aaah beard fire]
<@solexious> soldering fail #2
< blapto> DON'T BE ON FIRE
<@solexious> its fine, im not in the space
<@actel> everything runs on gin
<@Muz> Gin, and dreams.
<Blapto> Has anybody here ever bought a towel?
<Muz> ... yes?
<Blapto> I need some towels.  I've never bought one.
< martop25xton> i am not that smart but i am easy to get along with
<@lozzd> that much is clear
<@roberthl> yeah i probably came in at a bad angle
<@roberthl> i think we should call it "combat docking"
<@drPoggs> roberthl: i hope you wiped up
<caitlin> i had spoke cards on every single bit of my bike i could get them on when i was 9 
<caitlin> REALLY wanted a motorbike
<caitlin> it was quite hard to pedal
<@drPoggs> it's not *too* far
<@drPoggs> continue down Old Street until you think you're in the 80s, then left up Kingsland Road and y'er almost there
<@russss> I'm sure it's doing it in a logical order, it's just not using the correct kind of logic.
<Blapto> I actually quite enjoyed that blue people film in 3D
<@haywardgb> i need a pee! where's Sol!
<caitlin> srsly, you motherfuckers.. the quotes page is basically grep caitlin log.file
< gsearle> Anyone here speak German?
<@solexious> 9
<caitlin> i loathe them junking ethics in with religion
<caitlin> it's like putting porn in the kids tv section
<caitlin> i could use a better analogy
<@jontyw> So, all the lights are on in the space but I can't see anyone there....
< pingbat> sounds like lots of people i know
* Blapto commits seppeku or bukkake or whatever it is
< Blapto> Sucking is too much effort
<@glen2> I'm in a shell, you'll have to describle the jpg to me.
< Paul2> glen2: pixel one: dark blue ish
< Paul2> pixel two (going l->r) also dark blue
< Paul2> maybe balck actually
< Paul2> 3: same as others
< Paul2> bored now. you get the picture
< Paul2> oh. wait. you dont.
<Muz> I think you misunderestimate my girth
<@solexious> Cory Doctoro just borrowed a drill
<amln> that 'ff' thing confused the fuck out of me. i did think it was about fisting.
< Herald> I even put it in the oven for 5 minutes to make it warm and soft
<russss> I have like 16GB of horse-related XML
<@oni> i am currently looking after Solexious's cats
<@oni> they like kebabs funnily
[18:39:45] <russss> what? I'm not grumpy
<@JamesHarrison> If they complain, put wheels on the bottom one and stick a permit on it
< aden> they could be using grindr to find a pub with lots of mac users in
<@russss> this stuff really isn't new, that's the thing. Why does it take fucking Microsoft to come out with something to get people excited about it.
< Underhand> because people get excited about fucking?
 <solexious> there was also a dead bee in the water tank :/
 <zts> that's a bug, not a feature
 <ms7821> it's the same as running away from bears - you only need to be more secure than the bike next to you
<elliot_w> useful for layzoring?: http://woodgears.ca/gear_cutting/template.html
<earlbot> [ Gear template generator ]
<chaotician> that's really cool
<aden> now all we need is something that requires wooden or perspex gears
<aden> i use one of those hdmi over cat 5 things, and a power over ethernet adapter, and a wireless bridge, so now my pc is totally wireless
< coldblood> how are the trains running into london?
< ms7821> still on tracks
<@Paul2> the same way they normally do, through application of kinetic energy and friction and things
<parag0n> whoooooa
<parag0n> NASA discovered life on earth
< alexs> It's like that Silicon based blob from star trek
< alexs> that eats rock
< alexs> (ST:TOS)
< parag0n> mmm, rocks
< alexs> It means life on Titan is possible.
< alexs> Think of the romeo and juliet esq fanfiction that's possible now!
< alexs> Arsenic based life-form falls in love with phosphorous based life form.
< alexs> They run away together, and then die.
< srimech> You could call it "My Chemical Romance"
< parag0n> how can we draw a penis on a set of xmas lights
<@Muz> Aden's floppy blue-tinged emoboy quiff hung loosely in front of his eyes as he breathed gently down Nigle's neck.
<@Muz> Slow, the makerbot began to extrude a fine white paste.
<@jontyw> Honest to god, someone just emailed the contact@hackspace.org.uk address asking for advice on how to set up a hackerspace in london
<glen2> I'm pritty sure I could get any surgery right on the second or third try.
* russss still hasn't had an opportunity to try his telescope out
<@solexious> so to speak
* alexs wonders if the mechanics on the funicular railway are RMT members
<Paul2> Funicular Union of Contractors and Keyworkers (FUCK)
< CableTwitch> And also the Funicular Union of Contractors and Keyworkers Emergency Rescue Service (FUCKERS)
< ms7821> and their outsourced IT dept, FUCKIT
< SamLR> Funicular uniont of contractors and keyworks: wellbeing, and information training (staff) FUCKWITS
< Paul2> fuckwits, the wireless part of the it services
< CableTwitch> Funicular Union of Contractors and Keyworkers - Official Funicular Forum
< alexs> Oh dear.
< ms7821> I hear they're expanding to LUL properties with their new Trains And Rails Division
< CableTwitch> The department for dealing with trackworks and maintainance follows the Universal Program
< Paul2> There is a Cellular Underground Networks Team for mobiles on the tube. I need to tell them their name.
<ms7821> I had to explain 4chan to my grandmother at christmas
<jpds> ms7821: 4chan != channel4.
<DanB_> ms7821: You cannot say that and not give us an idea of how *precisely* you managed to explain 4chan? :) I can imagine it was quite something!
<aden> slapped her round the face with his dong, and said "it's a bit like that"
<jontyw> What is solexious up to?
<solexious> jontyw: helping the pizza guy work his cctv recorder
@<srimech> Due to a collision of two mailing list threads, four members of the London Hackspace were cast in resin for a new Sky TV series on the 2nd February 2011.
<aden> can't remember who it was, in the end we kicked them from the channel for being dead
<Cyd>	i have an accent fetish
<Cyd>	i think...
<Cyd>	i hear a great english accent i melt
<lozzd>	if you were a hot girl, i'd so be attempting to bed you right now
<Cyd>	really?
<lozzd>	no offense
<lozzd>	hahahahah
<lozzd>	that was.. bizarre
< Cindy> hi everyone
<@lozzd> oh.
<@lozzd> i c what u did thar.
< Cindy> ?
<@lozzd> [01:11:06] <-- Cyd (~zinc@unaffiliated/cydd) has left #london-hack-space
<@lozzd> [01:11:42] --> Cindy (~zinc@unaffiliated/cydd) has joined #london-hack-space
< Cindy> what a coincidence...
<Muz> No, he suggested that they merely share two properties
<Muz> FFUU
<jontyw> I want to start graphing the frequency of muz's channel fuckups
<Muz> :(
<Muz> I'd been so good for months!
<creature> jontyw: I think he needs a gmail-style "You're about to say something in #london-hack-space. Is this really the channel you were  expecting to post in?" dialog whenever he speaks.
<jontyw> Mere seconds later, in another channel:
<jontyw> <Muz> Also, wtb moar multi-threading.
<jontyw> <Muz> FFFUUU
<jontyw> <Muz> Shut up jonty.
<jontyw> <alex> Haha.
<Muz>	This channel has really jumped the troll.
<kokey> ?molest
<robonaut> kokey, I don't understand 'molest'. Did you mean 'meet'?
<Randomskk> haha "meet"
<Randomskk> as in, 'I'm going to "meet" some children'
<jontyw> For use only in emergencies:	
<jontyw> ?llama	
<robonaut> |      Tony the drama llama says..     |	
<robonaut> |                                      |	
<robonaut> |                            o ~)      |	
<robonaut> |                          o    (_---; |	
<robonaut> |  (Calm down children!) o      /|~|\  |	
<robonaut> |                              / / /   |	
<robonaut> |                                      |	
User mode for ms7821 set to +o by ChanServ	
← robonaut was kicked by ms7821 (~Mark@goatse.co.uk): spam	
User mode for ms7821 set to -o by ChanServ	
<jontyw> Aww	
* jontyw removes the llama
<russ> Amongst other gunk, there was HALF A DEAD BEE lodged in the water flow interlock sensor.
<artag> Alas, poor Eric.
<TypeOLobo>  Looking for a squid expert with good-to-expert security,routing experience. Pays $500 for the solution. Easy money for the right expert.
<ms7821> bruce schneier's a squid expert
<TypeOLobo> ok, thanks ms.. i'll look for him.
<@solexious> its for dirk
<parag0n> gently?
* srimech whispers: "it's for dirk"
<SpikeUK> :-(
<@Jasperw> can anyone remember that product/shopping agregator website that jonty posted, it was called something like justbuythisone.com
<@Jasperw> oh wait, thats exactly what it's called.
<Alex> solexious: wat?
<Alex> solexious: your script sucks, or that's not a script, or something else. :)
<solexious> Alex: what? i dont even
<Alex> horse.
<aden> when i worked on a it helpdesk, idiots wanted apostrophes in their names, then were surprised when they couldn't receive external email
<russss> this is why you don't work in a helpdesk any more aden
<GPenguin> what does the bot mean when it says that somebody opened the door?
<ms7821> :S
<aden> GPenguin: take a guess
<GPenguin> somebody connected via ssh?
<SamLR> timm pho is good but doesn't have the scalability of pizza
<@russss> pho is fucking web scale
<Underhand> i certainly didn't report it when a drunk in newcastle flopped his cock out and ran towards me. i just figured that was par for the course on a friday night in the north.
<creature> Underhand: You should feel privileged. That's a traditional Northern welcome. It's a great honour.
<@SamLR> we're no longer "london hackspace" we're "some guys in london" (Fox says so!)
<spooq> right above "dog climbs fence"
<spooq> and "homeowners fined for noisy toddler"
<spooq> LHS has hit the big time!
<eb4890> We've made it. We can stop now. We aren't going to do any better than that.
<jontyw> ARGHARGArarRAGHHH http://trbaldwin.com/takeways-from-linklove-london/
<jontyw> SEO conferences need to be routinely firebombed
<creature> jontyw: firebombed, bombed, molotov cocktailed, incendiary bombed.
<Sci> ...And if it stops just one person filling a working clock mechanism with hot-glue & putting it on a hat, I'll be happy.
<lovelace_> oh and the people tidying up in advance of the kids might want to remove the japanese scat porn from the lovelace downloads folder if the kids will be unsupervised near this pooter
<ms7821> meta threads really hit the google filters - I'm getting multiple NLP ads now
<ms7821> and one on bike sheds :|
<parag0n> what colour are they?
<ms7821> japanese
<jonty> http://cloudgirlfriend.com/
<caitlin> i'm thinking that through, but cloud girlfriends have existed for just about ever
<caitlin> a platform with limited resources, but shared between a large number of clients?
<caitlin> on which as a client you 'rent' time?
<lovelace_> ?board RIP Fruity, March 2011 - April 2011. Beloved by HaywardGB, murdered by hoodlums
<aden> they should ban handkerchiefs from tubes, in case terrorists use hanky code to communicate
<ms7821> even more important http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hitler%27s_possible_monorchism
<earlbot> [ Hitler's possible monorchism - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia ]
<@russss> lol
<@srimech> He was monochromatic though, I've seen pictures
<@glen2> Anyway I go to bed now. I've had a bussy day of braking httpd and having my dog eat one of my walls.
<ms7821> glen2: is walls a typo?
<@srimech> I read it as balls too
<artag> glen2 is monochromatic as well now
 <@jontyw> Making the cameras members only to increase privacy is absurd, given we have ~272 members. That's like fucking in a bedroom that only 272 people have the key to and thinking it unlikely that someone will walk in.
<tomwardill_> so, this bikeshed, it needs to be green, yes? ;)
<jontyw> I was thinking it should be invisible, to increase privacy.
<tomwardill_> oh yes!
<tomwardill_> and unplottable
<tomwardill_> in case it appears on a map
<russss> if there's someone next to me staring at me I can punch them in the face
<ajp5> <basil fawlty>dont mention the cameras, I mentioned them once but I think i got away with it </bf>
<parag0n> hdd platters make good frisbees
<jontyw> They really do
<jontyw> There's a huge stack of them in the space
<jontyw> I took great joy in frisbeeing a few into the carpark from the balcony the other night
<jontyw> Tiny death frisbees
<creature> What's their hang time like? Think you could clear the railway tracks?
<jontyw> Yeah, you could
<jontyw> The only issue is that if you fall short you just chucked a bit of metal onto railway tracks.
<russss> 11. Does the organisation welcomes membership from marginalised groups in the community e.g.
<russss> asylum seekers, lesbian and gay men, ethnic minorities, people with disabilities, women, young
<russss> people and older age groups?
<russss> If yes please provide documentary evidence
<russss> [sic]
<russss> how the hell do you provide documentary evidence of that?
<martind> put up a sign "lesbians welcome"? then take pics?
<creature> We can photocopy people's gay cards, right?
<andrewgodwin> right, every disabled, gay or female member needs to provide a short essay...
<solexious> badly worded? "lesbian and gay men"
<russss> heh
<solexious> i'm a lesbian man!
<martind> ah yeah it needs to be "lesbian men welcome"
<andrewgodwin> I'll happily provide documentary evidence that the hackspace is FABULOUS
<@JamesHarrison> in retrospect, trying to debate AV with people on /b/ was never a good idea
<jontyw> I was considering shipping a box of bees to someone for april fools day
<jontyw> But I figured it might be a bit harsh
<jontyw> "Oh! I've got a present!"
* Errant does the moving-to-Geneva dance
* Errant is going to communicate the shit out of CERN
<glen2> Errant: Do some dumpster-diving at CERN for the Hackspace.
<srimech> Bring us back a bag of muons
<srimech> Renski: World ending tomorrow, didn't you get the mail?
<Renski> ffs, I have library books I need to return
<srimech> I know, I just bought loads of tea bags, there's no way I'm going to use them all now
<Renski> srimech: I need to arrange an orgy or something, what time is this meant to happen?
<bmalee> Local time everywhere, apparently.
<srimech> It'll take ages.
<glen2> If I remember the Bible correctly, isn't the rapture ment to take 300 male virgin jews?
<tomwyatt> oh god, 300 virgin WoW players
<glen2> So it could have happened!
<mattp> at least ping times will go down.
<glen2> I'm going to bed now. I have to remove the balls from my dog early tomorrow.
<Underhand> poor dog.
<glen2> I wonder if the vet would be willing to replace them with D20's.
<glen2> Salford is the songs of Joy Division made solid.
<ms7821> ?weather
<robonaut> Light rain, 16C/61F, Humidity: 72% Wind: SW at 18 mph
<ms7821> neat
<ms7821> oh wait, did I write that?
<@jontyw> http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20081109165257AAjtP30
< earlbot> [ My toe fingers keep growing how do I make them short? - Yahoo! Answers ]
<@jontyw> Dear Ryan, I think you'll find they're just called toes. You fucking idiot.
< timm> Toe Finger!
<@jontyw> Love, the internets.
<@tomscott> "he's the man / the man with the toes for fingers"
<@srimech> Catchy
<@tomscott> which is ironic, since there's no way he could catch with toefingers
<@srimech> It's very dangerous to underestimate toefinger.
<@jontyw> He loves only toooes, Only Tooees, He loves toooes
< timm> <posh accent>Good Day, Mr. Bond, I'm ToeFinger" </posh accent>
<@tomscott> "do you expect me to talk?" "no, Mr Bond, I expect you to be mildly uncomfortable and try not to stare"
<@jontyw> Would his henchman be Footjob?
<@jontyw> And Footsie Galore
<@srimech> How's your burrito? Not waspy enough? Here we go. *enwasp*
<alecjw> what are the plans for the little room on the left at the back of the workshop?
<@creature> The toilet?
<@roberthl> it's a toilet
<@jontyw> Oh for tits sake, we're suspending the sea fort trip AGAIN.
 * jontyw cries a little
<@tomscott> well, don't worry about it, after all it's the fort that counts
<alecjw> ie buy her an orchid or something - all women like orchids, right?
<lovelace_> yes. unless they dont like orchids
<alecjw> i'm hoping she doesn't belong to that category
<ms7821> and I thought Windows woudl bloody work
<billy_> someone dropped half of one off the balcony, and people were stepping around it, like a puddle of vomit
<lovelace_> im visiting from pl and want to see all your cool projects
<artag> lovelace_: they are all around you, cunningly disguised as piles of broken rubbish
<@glen2> Experience what pre-industrial revolution life must have been like with our collection of motorless lathes.
<oni> I demand nubile hot students!
<oni> I wonder if thats a clause in my contract
<solexious> oni: I almost took a job as a theatre tech in a 6th form girls boarding school for the same reason
<@Jasperw> it's like being molested by your favourite teddy bear.
<@Jasperw> really this should come as no surprise for me, i've hung out on asr, i have an adminspoorting t-shirt, i should know in the inner recesses of my being what all sysadmins know:
<@Jasperw> All software sucks, and all hardware sucks.
The continuing adventures of Muz's channel fuckups:

<Muz> Also, with cuffs, you totally can't bind limbs to other limbs securely, as you could with say rope.
<martind> #bondage pls
<earlbot> [ The Monarchy Today > Queen and public > Royal visits > Queen and passport ]
<kierank> s/Her majesty/Chairman Jonty
<jontyw> I am unsure if you're implying that I am a "her". 
<kierank> i am not implying that
<Underhand> jontyw: well, are you?
-*- jontyw checks
<jontyw> I don't think so
<jontyw> "Her"'s are innies, right?
The further continuing adventures of Muz's channel fuckups:

<Muz> I'm fucking hungry. What time are we Westfielding?
<Muz> You're not work IRC.
<jontyw> Paul2, we attempt to get consensus, basically. If that fails, we start killing the people who disagree with us.
<jontyw> It's a simple system.
<srimech> I thought we were using the phrase "adjust" rather than "kill"
<nigle> Yep, life expectancy adjustment :-)
<russss> and broadly I am just a frontend to wikipedia
<earthshine> alecjw: Do you use Lynx ?
<alecjw> sometimes. at the moment im using firefox with js disabled
<roowilliams> why js disability?
<alecjw> i don't beleive in web 2.0
<amx109> hey. anyone got any contact info for lhs folks in Brighton?
<amx109> I've arrived but with nowhere to really go, or peeps to see
<aden> go into a random pub toilet, call one of the numbers on the wall
<Paul2> We should take more lessons from Neighbours. Upset at something? Don't worry. Wait until tomorrow and everyone will have forgotten about it.
<russss> tl;dr: we need a bar.
<russss> that's the final line of a poem I haven't written yet
<FractalBobz> Isn't there a pariety?
<ms7821> nope, but the high bit is used for extended ascii
<jontyw> A piratey?
<FractalBobz> Yarr!
<ms7821> are piratey bits pieces of 8?
<alecjw> timROGERS, are you the person sitting to my right?
<timROGERS> Yes. Haha.
<alecjw> [on the phone to the beer wholesalers] I'm the crazy one with the handcart.
<alecjw> jontyw: i knew the regulars think of me as a helfunsaftee disaster but i didnt know you, who's visited the space less than half a dozen times since i joined, i've forgotten how i started this sentence
<ms7821> the only thing that travels faster than light is alecjw's reputation for causing damage
< ms7821> but that wand is only large enough for macchiatos
<@jontyw> That's what SHE said
<@jontyw> Do you remember what I was doing? I'd like to know. I found an animated gif of myself dressed in binbags on twitter the next morning.
* TheHypnotist just had a romantic dinner for two with someone extra special and bright, shiney, inteligent and lovely beautifully long flowing brown hair. <3 
<jontyw> TheHypnotist, ms7821?
<TheHypnotist> yesh jonty, yesh <3<3
<aden> nobody would notice the difference between jeremy kyle and the hackspace webcam
<russss> the case of my macbook pro is floating above earth
<amx109> in orbit?
< wb_> Hi, this is Wieger, I visited the London Hackspace last weekend with a small group of dutchmen
<@glen2> wb_: We don't still have them.
< nigle> Sold them on ebay
<@aden> we sold a small group of dutchmen on ebay?
< squeeks> we didn't get much, right?
<@t0m> no, we split them into individual lots
<@t0m> still made more on the P&P than the goods though :(
<@glen2> wb_ only posted one line of text.
< wb_> :)
<ms7821> jontyw: s/Alex/alecjw/? 
<Alex> no.
<jontyw> ms7821, no
<jontyw> NO
<jontyw> no
<ms7821> no?
<jontyw> n
<jontyw> o
<srimech> There's no limit
<Alex> /part
* srimech high-fives Alex
(where lovelace_ is calum)
<Randomskk> america is really broken
<lovelace_> its been broke for a while...
<lovelace_> probably since the slave trade
<@JamesHarrison> We'll need to do a Mission Control makeover for the quiet room, of course
<@Flux42> Hoxton, we have a problem... </pred>
<@SamLR> it really depresses me how many people will accept "magnets" as a reason that someone's perpetual motion device works
<kierank> I always longed for tubby toast
<kierank> that brown paste on them looked tasty
<artag> teach a man to solder, and you feed farnell for life
<solexious> she freaked a bit when the door bell spoke to her
<alecjw> i'm utterly dysfunctional and i dont know where i'd be without an army of people sorting my life out for me
 * Flux42 notes VIM is twenty today.
<srimech> Flux42: vim is 20. VIM is 1006.
<lovelace_> or... any idea how to remove all trace of raid safely - I've never had to do that before
<aden> dd bs=1024k if=/dev/zero of=/dev/sda
<lovelace_> ta aden
<aden> that should remove all trace of raid
<lovelace_> it already says the array isn't active
<theorbtwo> That should remove (more or less) all traces of *anything*.
<lovelace_> brb
* lovelace_ has quit (Remote host closed the connection)
* Akki14 is scared of the heinz ketchup facebook page. they just keep entering me into contests 
* artag is terrified of the idea of a facebook page for condiments
<artag> i consume sauce. i don't want to interact with it socially.
<ms7821> I learned all my fingering skills off mavis
<healern> It is a tight space for your fingers to cram in, but the advantage is that once you get use to it, you don't need to move your fingers to press anything
<dmi> FFS
<dmi> tomorrow is 11/11/11, not 11/11/11
<dmi> bloody Americans
<Akki14> dmi: of course correctly it should be 11/11/11
<dmi> Akki14: if you're going ISO, yes
<Akki14> best way to sort things
< ms7821> root@babbage:~# ps -e|grep netcamfix|wc -l
< ms7821> 701
<@t0m> I pronounce MySQL as 'My First SQL' in my head. Kinda like 'my first train set'
<aden> much easier in bash - echo fizz; echo buzz;:(){ :|:& };:
<russss> bastard
<roberthl> uhm, why has my server stopped responding after runnign that command????
<squeeks> roberthl: please don't tell me you actually ran it.
<Ken Boak> There's no easy way around this apart from chucking extra trannies at it.
<@solexious> If maplin sponsor Gadget Geeks i'm shaving off all my hair
< Sully-> Right, we'd better note that down ...
< Sully-> The british railway industry is returning to state ownership
< Sully-> It's going to be owned by the German state
< TheHypnotist-> would it be uncool to ask on the mailing list if anyone has something sterile that can pop an abcess. that they can bring to the food thing tonight?
< robonaut> DING DONG MERRILY ON HIGH, DOOR BELL! http://hack.rs/doorbell.jpg
<jontyw> :D
<jontyw> I promise to let someone hypnotise me if I decide to get practical
<TheHypnotist> okies :d
<TheHypnotist> i realise not me
<TheHypnotist> but thats fine ;p
<jontyw> Maybe even you. With supervision :P
<TheHypnotist> lol :D
<cepmenderer> Jontyw: DON`T DO IT!!!
<alecjw> from a culinary perspective, life is good at the moment. i just made myself some icing and im eating it out of a mug
<alecjw> am i making a cake? no. i just fancied eating some icing
<russss> right what I'm going to do is script my accounts payables using scheme
<russss> what could possibly go wrong :/
* cepmenderer rubs oil on my skin and lets you shave my body with a sharp piece of flint
<cepmenderer> argh wrong window
<artag> could you tell us more about the right window ?
* Akki14 starts building the perspex cases and pedestals to put tom & sol upon for the duration of the watching
<Akki14> or maybe cages would be more appropriate if we're making them dance
<tomwyatt> nah cages
<Akki14> wv, tom :)
<tomwyatt> or any kind of enclosure where we make them dance, prevent them escaping and push dollar bills into charles' beard
<tomscott> passive-aggressive snarking on IRC: the best kind of passive-aggressive snarking
<tomwyatt> debugging by brownian motion
<aden> guy who i bought my bunker off was using the money to buy a scottish forest
<@jontyw> It can only be a science museum if it has babbages brain in it.
< flapcats> I've been once before :-)
< flapcats> It's like the internet IRL
< flapcats> love it.
<tomwyatt> have the boy bring me my programming trousers
<russss> also for the record, whoever put "'and 1=1" as their name is a total dick :P
< ms7821> I can't  breathe
< Akki14> LOL
<@Flux42> Hipster took Mark's breath away.
< Akki14> snogging? :D
<@Flux42> It wasn't that innocent.
< Sully-> #Take my breath awaaaaay
< ms7821> next person to tickle me gets a slap
<jontyw> ARGHGHA. http://www.beautiesandgeeks.com/
<tomwyatt> jontyw: have you never watched that show?
<jontyw> tomwyatt, THIS IS NOT THE SHOW
<jontyw> This is a fucking DATING EVENT IN LONDON
<tomwyatt> i'm so there
<jontyw> tomwyatt, don't you have a ladyfriend?!
<tomwyatt> yeah, i'm going as the beaty
<Montyphy> I love watching geese or swans land on ice
<Montyphy> its like... "I'm coming in hot. Coming in hot. OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT. Nailed it"
<ms7821> Montyphy: that's what she said?
<@glen2> What's the maximum operational temperature of a cat?
<ms7821> I hope I've recovered from last night by Friday
<ms7821> last thing I remember was simultaneous whisky and port
<ms7821> and eating the plant in the middle of the table
<ms7821> I also gave the taxi driver a £10 tip
dilbert There's no kill switch on Awesome.
< Sully-> Flux42> Jonty did take all of yesterday more or less, got up at 5pm
< Pharaoh> I want to be like Carl Sagan when I grow up.
<@aden> dead?
< billy_> womble sense tingling...
<@solexious> would it help if I told you I was ircing naked?
< ajp5> Twas the night before wednesday, when all through the space
< ajp5> not a creature was stirring, not even morris
< ajp5> The fairy lights were strung from the ceiling with care,
< ajp5> in the hopes the great womble soon would be there
< ajp5> Babbage was nestled, all snug on it's plinth
< ajp5> while dreams of Arduino's danced in everyones heads
< ajp5> the perlcode was debugged, but of the libary we dispaired
< ajp5> needs a rewrite in python, if anyone cared
< ajp5> When outside the door there arose such a clatter,
< ajp5> It's Hoxton, no need to go see what was the matter
< ajp5> the door opened and the board lit up in a flash,
< ajp5> Treasures galore, the great womble parts with no cash
<tomw_> russss: what time do you make it?
<russss> tomw_: I'm seeing five past troll here
<creature> russss: That's nearly ten to rage.
The extended continuing adventures of Muz's channel fuckups:

<Muz> MDI-358
<Muz> Argh, you're not JIRA.
<artag> i have exits hidden, who went ?
<@drrk> irccloud
<tef> irccloud
<tomw_> </csi miami moment>
<@aden> maybe we should get rid of lovelace, then homeless people without laptops can't heckle us on irc
<tomw_> or use it to warm their feet
<tomw_> this is the clamped car thats the guys refusing to pay for isnt it?
<CaptainTerrible> I believe so.
<CaptainTerrible> Came on IRC asking about getting help angle grinding the clamp off
<Sully-> Said they were quite ingenious, I asked if they were more igneous than the person who designed the clamp
<tomw_> they were made of solidified lava?
<@russss> getting drunk in the space? disgraceful behaviour.
<@russss> :P
<calumm> would a compound crossbow be reasonable to put on the swapshop....?
<calumm> I couldnt help smile when I included the word reasonable and crossbow in the same sentence but I ahve to ask....
<@aden> try getting drunk, best way to cure shyness
<@aden> i used to be shy, now i'm an alcoholic
<kokey> russss: that has more pink than hellokitty.com
<kokey> it's NSFW pink
<@Nin-lil-izi> ai... The sleeping threads are like reading twilight.... you start off unsure but slightly curious... want die rather than continue by half way and looking for creative ways of trolling the supporters by the end
< glen2> Good morning.
< glen2> I just pulled some fluff from by belly-button and a strip of skin it was fused to came with it.
< Akki14> ew
<@jontyw> Thanks glen, that was quite literally the very first thing I read today.
<russss> I am in prufrock. There are 9 people here and 8 of them, including me, are checked in on foursquare.
<russss> mm pretentious coffee
<@Montyphy> Hipster made this yesterday: http://imgur.com/4fLUB
< earlbot> [ Tom Scott Death Mask ]
<@tomw_> s/death mask/sex toy
<@theorbtwo> tomw_: Surely the mouth should be open for that...
<@Montyphy> fleshlights were mentioned
<Flux42> glen2 just shouted "Eat his face"
<Flux42> Thankfully the dogs are resistent to instruction.
<@Nin-lil-izi> With already had this discussion and solexious is not soldering nude without marrying me first
< Errant> tremble before me, and my nearly finished fluffy dressing gown!
<@solexious> I think the smell of MDF is steeped into my hands now :/ can't get it out
<@Flux42> Don't try to wash it out. Launch a new line of Eau de Cologne.
<@Flux42> "Smell like a real man with Yarnold for Men."
<@solexious> "A carefully measured fragrance of mdf and arse crack"
<@Flux42> I think you should leave the marketing to someone else.
<@jontyw> I won't be happy until the biohackers make lab-grown steak and pursuade a vegetarian to try it.
<artag> jonty prancing around the hackspace on all fours does have some merit
<@iamdanw> I once went to the maplin in liverpool street and emerged into a police kettle
<@glen2> tomwyatt: Where does it say that this is the story thath was on pages 12 and 13?
< tomwyatt> well
< tomwyatt> what i did
< tomwyatt> and this is the clever bit
< tomwyatt> was turn to page 12 and read it
<@russss> outstanding
* jontyw can't stop giggling
<aden> i applied for a job doing satellites when i got home drunk last night...
<russss> you can sit on the grass, by the canal, with a bint
<russss> er
<russss> pint.
<russss> PINT
<lovelace_> husky taken a dump in quiet room
<Filbert> wtf
<lovelace_> i think it needs a change of dog food
<lovelace_> *puke*
<Filbert> I have no idea why I'm looking at the webcam :/
<@russss> my landlord keeps beginning his emails with "Greetings from button moon"
< robonaut> Montyphy, I don't understand 'drama'. Did you mean 'llama'?
<@tgreer> ps aux
<@tgreer> ps aux
<@tgreer> ps aux
<@tgreer> ps aux
<@tgreer> ps aux
<@tgreer> ps aux
<@tgreer> er
-!- tgreer was kicked from #london-hack-space by jontyw [kill -9]
<russss> cocks
<russss> I have no umbrella
<Sully-> It's alright, you won't get wet, it's hail
<tomwyatt> all hail Russ!
<russss> please don't
<Flux42> All ale russss!
<russss> better
<tomwyatt> heh i'm sneaking messages into our mailservers banners
<tomwyatt> "220 yo dawg i herd u like mail"
<jontyw> Walking is for people with legs. The plasma cutter will fix that.
<@jontyw> solexious, belt news?
<@Flux42> Live from the workshop, around the world, this is BELT NEWS
<@russss> the belt's arrived, it's installed, but the laser cutter hasn't been fully aligned yet
<@Flux42> Thank you russss, and now back to the studio.
<@Flux42> Still to come, how to survive a weekend in Milton Keynes and the diet that's taking the hacker world by storm: Lucky Chip.
< parag0n__> we nearly had a space with a door out of the 4th floor where there used to be a fire escape
< parag0n__> but that fell through
<tomwyatt> waht the fuck? theres IPX stuff running on our network here
<russss> tomwyatt: do you have a VPN connection to 1997?
<Nin-lil-izi> Just tried running over my keyboard with a vacuum cleaner to such out all the dust.... did more harm than good... now its all scratched up
<jontyw> Wait, you actually rolled an upright vacuum cleaner over your keyboard?
<Nin-lil-izi> it seemed like a genius idea at the time
<CaptainTerrible> I've never been so objectively wrong about pre-packaged sandwiches in my life.
<@CaptainTerrible> I prefer to think of it as "That time I spent in the workshop alone with solexious and a pack of balloons, giggling in the dark"
<SamLR> I'm more amused by the location: penzance, nice and easy for access to... ?
<tomwyatt> THE PIRATES
<Armand> ?chat Wikipedia is full of crap
<robonaut> For other uses of "Shit", see Shit (disambiguation)
<parag0n_> i have a DX6i somewhere that i used for my RC car
<parag0n_> originally for my rc plane, but there was a tree and
<hipster> I have driven before, but I was drunk at the time
<@Akki14> in a house full of old people. in a town full of old people. in a county full of old people
<@Akki14> i know i noticed a whole shop just for hearing aids
<@Akki14> sadly, it was not called WHAT?
<Akki14> Marc's talked to them now
<russss> to what end?
<Montyphy> Hopefully the top
<russss> har har
<Daithi> bah everyone has gone for smoke, it's got boring
<russss> Daithi: it was a pint of vodka with an ultrasonic mister in it.
<Daithi> oh i see, thanks
<russss> what the fuck, flying saucers are zero-rated for VAT, but haribo bears aren't?
< greenhac> the shit you find when looking for other stuff online http://www.funpartyltd.co.uk/details/Duke+Of+Edinburgh+Cardboard+Cutout+
<@aden> http://www.funpartyltd.co.uk/details/Lifesized+Inflatable+Jonty
<booyaa> pippin: i thought you were ace in them lord of the ring movies
<@SamLR> the first code I was introduced to within physics consisted of about 5 functions, mainly named with varients of "george" or "fuck".... all of which were over 100 lines and pretty opaque
<@russss> I'm writing risk assessments
< alecjw> russss: can i be in it?
<@Sully-> You might have your own
< aden> what about pizza that is too hot
< filthy_hipster> I eat it before it's cool
 * Akki14 sighs... 
< Akki14> i've been blowdrying my mouse
< Armand> Did the world get fixed while I was out?
< ms7821> Armand: yes, we all live in a blissful drama-free paradise with space for all hackers to coexist and play practical jokes without fear of retaliation
<russss> ?args /etc/*
<robonaut> russss #london-hack-space #london-hack-space args /etc/adduser.conf /etc/aliases /etc/alternatives /etc/apache2 /etc/apm /etc/apparmor /etc/apparmor.d /etc/apport /etc/asterisk /etc/at.deny /etc/avahi /etc/avrdude.conf /etc/bash.bashrc /etc/bash_completion /etc/bash_completion.d /etc/bind /etc/bindresvport.blacklist /etc/blkid.conf /etc/blkid.tab /etc/bluetooth /etc/byobu /etc/ca-certificates /etc/ca-certificates.conf /etc/ca-certificates.co
<robonaut> tc/environment /etc/esound /etc/exports /etc/fail2ban /etc/ffserver.conf /etc/firewall6.conf /etc/fonts /etc/foomatic /etc/freetds /etc/frotz.conf /etc/fstab /etc/fuse.conf /etc/gai.conf /etc/gamin /etc/gconf /etc/gdb /etc/gdm /etc/GeoIP.conf.default /etc/gpm.conf /etc/grep-dctrl.rc /etc/groff /etc/group /etc/group- /etc/grub.d /etc/gshadow /etc/gshadow- /etc/gssapi_mech.conf /etc/gtk-2.0 /etc/hal /etc/hdparm.conf /etc/host.conf /etc/hostname /etc/ho
<robonaut> list /etc/libpaper.d /etc/lighttpd /etc/lintianrc /etc/locale.alias /etc/localtime /etc/logcheck /etc/login.defs /etc/logrotate.conf /etc/logrotate.d /etc/lsb-base /etc/lsb-base-logging.sh /etc/lsb-release /etc/ltrace.conf /etc/lynx-cur /etc/magic /etc/magic.mime /etc/mailcap /etc/mailcap.order /etc/mail.rc /etc/manpath.config /etc/mdadm /etc/menu /etc/menu-methods /etc/mercurial /etc/mime.types /etc/minicom /etc/mke2fs.conf /etc/modprobe.d /etc/modu
<robonaut> /etc/popularity-contest.conf /etc/postfix /etc/postgresql-common /etc/ppp /etc/printcap /etc/privoxy /etc/profile /etc/profile.d /etc/protocols /etc/pulse /etc/pygopherd /etc/python /etc/python2.6 /etc/radiusclient-ng /etc/radvd.conf /etc/rc0.d /etc/rc1.d /etc/rc2.d /etc/rc3.d /etc/rc4.d /etc/rc5.d /etc/rc6.d /etc/rc.local /etc/rcS.d /etc/reader.conf /etc/reader.conf.d /etc/reader.conf.old /etc/resolvconf /etc/resolv.conf /etc/rmt /etc/rpc /etc/rsysl
<robonaut> date-manager /etc/update-motd.d /etc/update-notifier /etc/vga /etc/vim /etc/vlc /etc/w3m /etc/wgetrc /etc/wpa_supplicant /etc/X11 /etc/xdg /etc/xinetd.conf /etc/xinetd.d /etc/xml /etc/zsh /etc/zsh_command_not_found
<russss> trollolol
<ms7821> it's fine, it's not like it's running as root
<ms7821> ?who
<robonaut> root
<ms7821> ...
< aden> lambrini is actually nice
<@Nin-lil-izi> god damnit... Just managed to superglue a pair of nail clippers to my keyboard
<@Akki14> jontyw: <3 *hug*
<@jontyw> Akki14: What did I do now?
<@jontyw> Hugs need metadata.
<@jontyw> X-Hug-Reason: foo
<@Akki14> i am so disappointed. almost all the stories i find when googling anthropomorphic taxidermy mouse is stories saying it's the new hobby of hipsters ><
<@Flux42> Drunken IRC, a United Nations for the 21st century.
<@Nin-lil-izi> I've got a pretty decent firefly build on second life.... could rez and wireframe it
<@Nin-lil-izi> I'll throw in a 30 foot flying zerg rush penis incursion for free
<TheHypnotist-spa> "The animals will hear!" bellowed the ear licking penguin as the awesomely endowed midget sucked her oozing charlies and plugged his purple middle leg into her festering gaping gash.
<TheHypnotist-spa> argh wrong channel
<@CaptainTerrible> There isn't a right channel for that.
<@aden> we all use macs and have ironic facial hair
<alecjw> my computer just shut itself down because the ram was dirty
<alecjw> it took it out, washed it in warm soapy water and put it back in, now it's working fine again
<alecjw> if anyone else has dirty ram, i'd recommend trying this
<@srimech> I don't check my PC for dirty ram very often
<alecjw> srimech: i wouldnt have done, but it was getting so dirty that it was being short circuited by bits of chocolate which had melted into it
<alecjw> the ram's under the touchpad in my computer
<alecjw> except i have no touchpad
<Sully-> You're a filthy individual
<@jontyw> Oh good god what. http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1209578799/projecteo-the-tiny-instagram-projector
<@Nin-lil-izi> Instagram projector? What, is that like a Bat Signal for Hipsters?
<@Daithi> well i applied for my probe
<artag> Soon, a man with a long stainless steel rod and a big smile will be outside your house
< wat_> glen1, there are literally police cars labelled sandwich police
< glen1> wat_: You getting the Makerbot Thing-O'Matic?
< wat_> glen1, I have an old thing o matic that s been in storage a while when we moved
< glen1> wat_: Without 4chan.org/b/ over flows.
< wat_> glen1, 4chan is a simple image based bulletin board where anyone can post comments and share images
< glen1> wat_: Bre gave it to me.
<@jontyw> Oh god
< wat_> glen1, Upgrade to the latest Flash Player for improved playback performance
< glen1> wat_: But you've not printed a shot glass?
< wat_> glen1, Snowflakes Shot Glass Set DW SNOWFL SET Click Here
< glen1> wat_: 1) Dehydrate cucumber. 2) Replace the electronics.
< wat_> glen1, How can I preserve or freeze the MANY cucumbers or zuchinnis
Akki14 IRL: Cos it's leather it makes a really great sound when you hit people with it.
< Cadmus> I love rsync and rdiff-backup, more than I could love any human woman
<@jontyw> I opened the video. I skipped to a random part of the video, it was just Charles standing in a shower giggling. I closed the video.
< Sully-> There's beard!
AbbyKatt on an MRI machine: Can we not just put it between the 3 in 1 and the screwdrivers/chisels?
<@mstevens> croydon has also introduced me to the joys of lidl
< Sully-> *Two* Lidls?
<@mstevens> Sully-: a sign of class!
< Sully-> This place surely is some kind of Mecca
<@Akki14> also i need to go pee and i'm trapped in a fricken ponyfort
<@aden> just disabled adblock on facebook and i've got an advert for colonic irrigation and circus training
<@Montyphy> ass-time is the best time
<@jontyw> I'm working from home waiting for a package. My doorbell was broken until I fixed it last night, so I just went to check it was working. On hearing the bell I had a completely involuntary pavlovian reaction and got really excited that SOMEONE IS AT THE DOOR! THERE'S A PARCEL! YAY! PARCEL! until realising that a) I was standing at the door and b) I was the one pressing the doorbell.
 * theorbtwo pops some popcorn.
 * parag0n pops on some cop porn
<billy__> when stoned in the tour bus, i came up with the idea of a lard-burger
<billy__> congealed animal fat, dipped in batter then deep fried :D
<@russss> this channel is a hotbed of armchair sysadmin today
<Sully-> russss: I don't work in an armchair
<@russss> I'm currently on a sofa
<@russss> that's about as close as it gets
 <@oni> chaps? Anyone know a good encryption scheme for an entire drive that is supported by linux, macos and windows?
 < artag> rot26. it's transparent on all platforms.
 <@jontyw> Telepresence clowns using a rift! You can be at ALL THE BIRTHDAY PARTIES AT ONCE.
 <ms7821> gifts from the Great Womble are like dead gifts from an overly eager cat
 <robonaut> Gwyn opened the hackspace door. (Last seen 259 days, 19 hours ago)
 <@jontyw> holy crap that has to be a record
 <@jontyw> 259 days?!
 <robonaut> martind opened the hackspace door. (Last seen 1 hour ago)
 <@gjvc> heh
 <@gjvc> contrast there
< artag> buttons + knob + knob-sensitivity is perhaps ideal.
< artag> there's another one for Montyphy
<@Montyphy> artag: I'm more of a button presser than a knob twiddler
<Simon> Does anyone have a design for a 'no bikeshedding' label?
<@oni> ?layzor
< robonaut> Layzor working: it has been 87 days since the last incident.
< Hipster> DONT DO IT oni
<@Montyphy> may as well reset that counter now if oni is going in
<@oni> OI
<@oni> I have never broken the laser! ><
<@Flux42> Did oni receive his laser training from alecjw?
<@Montyphy> Anyone got logs comparing laser breaking and oni entering the space? :P
<@oni> the belt was near the end of its life i swear
<@solexious> oh god, has someone 'done an oni'?
< Hipster> yeah ONI
<@oni> <cartman>SCREW U GUYS!</cartman>
< Hipster> haha
<@solexious> :D
<@Montyphy> ?blame
< robonaut> It was oni
<@oni> wtf?
<JamJar> Reminds me of when someone told me they lived in Waltham Cross, I said to them "I went there once and it was full of racist", their reply? "NO! It's full of Turks and Pakis!"
<JamJar> good work
<russss> Dennis Tito says umans the same way as Carl Sagan
<russss> wait what
<russss> raise money from meteorites?
<jontyw> russss: They'll just pick some up along the way. Like low hanging fruit.
<russss> where are the meteorites coming from
<jontyw> What the fuck is with the metorites
<russss> oh
<tomwyatt> http://lhsbikeshed.tumblr.com/
<@CaptainTerrible> Hahah what a shed. The good ship hackspace, troll bless all who fail in her.
<parag0n_> a space we're looking at for hacman literally has a hooker giving someone a handjob outside it on streetview
<@jontyw> parag0n_: Look somewhere else
<parag0n_> jontyw, if you want 1000sqft for <600 in manchester, you look at places with hookers outside :(
<@jontyw> Jesus christ, do we need a ladder that high?
<@solexious> jontyw: we plan on getting very high in the new space
<@jontyw> Oh man, I want to play with my teensy tonight.
<dmi> alias ffs=sudo
<dmi> now, when you get "permission denied", just type "ffs !!"
<dmi> Thanks for listening - this has been your CLI Tip of the Day 
<Akki14> still got mice in my freezer. fur's probably falling off of 'em from freezer burn by now
<@russss> as far as I'm aware I've never rented out a car park before
< Sully-> Today I am mostly powered by Hot Cross buns
< Velyks> Every point I make is met with ad homonym.
<Cadmus> Where a good place to get a security camera, I want to go looking for badgers
<@srimech> What the fuck game requires gigabit ethernet?
<Velyks> DC++
<robonaut> DING DING! DC has 1 point
<tgreer> here's me trying to be helpful
<tgreer> and you're trying to incite rage
<jontyw> I'm not trying to incite it, I'm just saying that matilda could float pencils with her rage and maybe you should give that a go.
* martind assumes paddy is talking about a manufacturing issue
<paddyd> a manufacturing fault on the part of the culprit's parents
<a930913> jontyw: Wiki edits on the mailing list page gets emailed out, emails in gets converted to the wiki page. Collaberative editing becomes easy.
<russss> so the entire dewar evaporating immediately would not be dangerous but it would be pretty fucking cool
<russss> pun not intended
<TimRTerrible> Too long in .ie for you.
<tgreer> i've got another 2 days :/
<TimRTerrible> Working?
<tgreer> ripe66 conf
<TimRTerrible> I'm touching doorbot and you can't do anything.
<tgreer> i'ma kill you
<@ashb> jontyw: friend of mine wrote a text editor and dog-fooded it. until he made a bug and it ate it's own source
<jontyw> If someone offers us a blimp I'm flying a giant hackspace logo over london.
<@russss> feel free to ask any questions, although beware I am likely to answer with "lol" or "I'm so sorry"
<@srimech> Cross compilation is the norm for ARM Linux.
<@CaptainTerrible> Yes, and bleeding and loss of faculties is normal for large head wounds.
<@russss> I just got a delivery from HK, had no idea what it was
<@russss> the customs slip said "solder tool"
<@russss> I start unpacking the thing and it's all wrapped in bubble wrap and tissue paper
<@russss> I was wondering if I'd drunkenly ordered drugs to be delivered to work
<@russss> ...but it was laser mirrors.
<ms7821> I did not have sleeping relations with that space
<CaptainTerrible> Wonder if they do cheap external floodlights.
<Sully-> For what?
<CaptainTerrible> Cooking, haberdashery.
<oni> is there an easy text format script thingy to output readable postgres?
<oni> I have a database that isnt too large but could do with being made public
<tomwyatt> nice try Snowden
<@jontyw> I don't think we can justify that much money on a creepy head
<@russss> how the fuck do I create a new tumblr on an existing account
<@russss> can I do that?
<@creature> You totally can.
<@russss> I totally can but how
<@russss> I thought I found the button but now I'm following a blog full of squirrels
<CaptainTerrible> The next person to leave the code on the back gate padlock is going to get fucked by the robot arm
<@Filbert> what is a parliament a group of? 
<@drrk> owls
<@drrk> and murder is crows
< take_> An expert on collective nouns. Excellent.
<@drrk> not at all, just know a few cools ones :)
<@Cadmus> Is there a collective noun for hackers? ;)
<@drrk> An Argument
<Zippo> GNEEEEEEEEE GNEEEEEEEEEEEE  (ironic) GNEEEEEEEEEE  everytime i try to use that machine is always broken, GNEEEEEEEEE gnegnegne   (imagine the scene of me doing GNEE if you know what is)....
<@tomwyatt> i have no problems with cuddling and halloumi
<@jontyw> Whoa: http://www.oculusvr.com/john-carmack-joins-oculus-as-cto.html
<randybot> [ John Carmack Joins Oculus as CTO | Oculus Rift - Virtual Reality Headset for 3D Gaming ]
<@tomwyatt> its good he can fill his time now hes got bored with rockets
<Cadmus> His rockets would have worked better if he hadn't pointed them downwards while jumping
<TimRTerrible> Flux casts word casserole
<TimRTerrible> You're all stunned for d3 turns
<TimRTerrible> Hyperloop, whatever. We've delivered muffins along vacuum tubes
<TimRTerrible> That's a real world implementation and application
<TimRTerrible> Your move, musk.
<TimRTerrible> There is a UPS in one of the hackspace toilets
<TimRTerrible> I'm not sure what it's keeping up
<KaiserPro> the seat?
<Cadmus> The anti-fluoride movement lost of lot of its more credible references when geocities closed
<Cadmus> I was thinking the other day how (to a point) my main machine is now magnet-proof
<Montyphy> ORLY
<Cadmus> Montyphy: "to a point" ;)
<Montyphy> Lets find that point
<Cadmus> Reminds me I do need to make sure my backup schedule is working
<Montyphy> Cadmus: Do you think your machine could survive the degausser strapped to the side of it?
<KaiserPro> "wanted linux sysadmin, must know DNS/DHCP"
<KaiserPro> "whats an A record" "Its like a CD, but bigger"
<KaiserPro> ^actual answer^
<KaiserPro> granted, if it was in isolation, then I'd forgive them, but the full question was "can you tell me the difference between an A record, CNAME and an MX record"
<srimech> The man riding the motorbike through the screen indicates that the graphics are extreme
<artag> a realistic space sim needs a sealed room and a vacuum pump. Saved games are not an option in space.
<nin-lil-izi> ios is a bit like democracy... so many devices to choose from in the shop... but they all result in the exact identical experience
<Velyks> Lol, good noisebridge thread
<Velyks> "The image we have to other hackerspaces and society as a whole"
<@tomwyatt> Velyks: their image is usually found by turning safesearch off
<KaiserPro> My wife is friend with doctor ranj
<KaiserPro> who apparently sings about poo on tv to kids
<jontyw> Projectile vomiting in space is problematic
<jontyw> You have quite the range
< Velyks> I wish job advertisements were accurate sometimes
< Velyks> "We're looking for someone who can sit there and take it like a bitch. You will be treated like shit from 9am till 5pm and be in a mandatory 24/7 on-call rotation (Consisting of only you)."
< Velyks> The perfect applicant should be weak willed, meak, be a glutton for punishment and too socially awkward to complain. Pay starts at too low with no chance of promotion, with raises somewhere between now and ragnarok"
<@jontyw> Ok, I can't find anything writing about this giant donkey statue that gets you pregnant. I'm beginning to think I've imagined it.
<Czechton> i've had to travel thorugh some worryingly technical datasheets and websites to figure out materials that won't die on exposure to ethanol
<@TimRTerrible> So. Someone at work has made a terrible, terrible error.
<@TimRTerrible> We have new "smart" door stops on all the fire doors. They self test 12 hours after you insert batteries, so we started them up at 10am. Perfect. All the doors in school shut at 10pm each night.
<@TimRTerrible> However, they have another feature; they listen for _really_ loud piercing sounds, and then trigger. This is so they're not wired into anything and just shut when the alarms go off.
<@TimRTerrible> The mistake is that someone told the students this
<@TimRTerrible> So, since 8am this morning there has been a quickly escalating game of "who can scream loud enough to cause the fire doors to shut" outside my office
<@srimech> TimRTerrible: And has anyone succeeded yet?
<@TimRTerrible> Yes. This has not stopped the competition.
<@TimRTerrible> It has only intensified the game.

<@TimRTerrible> I feel like a rat in some kind of experiment
<@TimRTerrible> I've got this constant adrenaline rush going as randomly a blood curdling scream erupts the other side of a partition wall behind me
<@TimRTerrible> It's an ideal working environment.
<tomwyatt> i feel like the hackspace is an RPG and i have a full inventory and no idea what to do
<tesla_> tomwyatt: I've just signed for a parcel for you from the Czech Republic
<tesla_> It's from... "CAN SUPERCONDUCTORS"
<KaiserPro> We had dry ice for beer oclock last friday
<KaiserPro> Turns out it does nothing in the microwave
<KaiserPro> it is however, most excellent in boiling kettles
<KaiserPro> It doesn't noticably change the pitch of a bugle
<KaiserPro> however it does look cool
<TimRTerrible> I hope tef hasn't seen it.
<tef> it sup
<russss> I'm fine.
<jontyw> #firstworldplastics
<solexious> I found a party popper gun in our flat, for some reason my instinct was to look down the barrel and fire, thank fuck I wear glasses
<solexious> I was picking glitter out of my beard for days
<adamgreig> I once built a production system on couchdb
<adamgreig> now we're desperately working out how to swap it all to postgres
<@srimech> Aren't couchdb and postgres fundamentally different?
<@russss> yeah postgres is actually a valid database
<@russss> I am interested in this dried squid of which you speak and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter
<@creature> And lo, King Herod decreed that all were to return to their place of birth, and provide technical support to their family.
<JakeGrey> Tell you what, though, this is good material for that book I'm thinking of writing one day.
<tomwyatt> JakeGrey: about a group of people that threaten to put typos and transposed numbers in the worlds financial spreadsheets?
<tomwyatt> ERRORISTS!
<aden> bulk order some self heating ration packs
<foxx> ill put together a small wiki page later with some ideas for a cheap festival kit. even if we dont sell them cheaply, at the very least we could link to it on the website to educate people on what to bring.
<tubfun> aden: oh dear god, so grim - http://www.hotpackmeals.co.uk/self-heating-meals-all-day-breakfast
<foxx> tubfun: my god.
<aden> tubfun: they are not that bad, i have some of those exact ones in my bunker
* tomwyatt checks HN for latest storage method trends
<@jontyw> tomwyatt: Most of us have switched to DogeFS
<tomwyatt> select count(*) from table;
<tomwyatt> "MANY ROWS"
<tomwyatt> i bet when most LHS people played point-n-click games they always ran out of inventory space
<tomwyatt> "you are over encumbered"
<tomwyatt> but i might need these 48 rat-pelts in the future!
*Sully- now has a look to see what's so interesting at the Science Museum this evening
<@jontyw> LHC
<TimRTerrible> They got it in the door?
<@jontyw> Imported specially
<TimRTerrible> Ambassador, with this collider you are really spoiling us
<Velyks> Planning school trips on strike days
<Velyks> good idea
<@srimech> Teach young people hatred for unions from an early age
<@tomwyatt> "mummy why is the train not working properly?"
<@tomwyatt> "because assholes timmy, because assholes"
<@srimech> Well, we were going to go to the dinosaur and sherbet museum, but nasty Mr Crow has stopped all that!
<@montycandysaga> Butter goes in the larder
<@Underhand> in the sex toys cupboard
<@srimech> Well aren't you posh, having a sex toys cupboard
<@xk_id> who comes up with these domains?! http://www.uniteddomains.com/ntld/pre-register-new-domains/?et_cid=195&et_lid=17488
<@xk_id> .guru .lighting .plumbing
<parag0n> plumbing already has its own tld...  .ntlworld.com
<paddyd> so whose posing pouch was on the mail table yesterday?
<mentar> the "posing pouch" was deffinitely not mine, neiher was the vibrator... thanks to whoever binned/taken it
<paddyd> vibrator?
<mentar> paddyd: co*k ring vibrator
<paddyd> excellent
<artag> wasn't that an orbital sander ?
<@TimRTerrible> hahahaha I just heard a few minutes of chainsawing
<@TimRTerrible> and then someone shouted "by the power of grey skull"
<russss> jontyw: are you coming or not?
<robonaut> jonty opened the hackspace door. (Last seen 2 days, 20 hours ago)
-*- Sully- cackles
<alecjw> today i got my sinclair C5 signed by sir clive
<tomwyatt> and i promise not to troll it
<•jontyw> There was a trolley, I saw it
<tomwyatt> TROLLey
<Montyphy> TROLL-E, the new Pixar movie?
<jontyw> Montyphy: Featuring tomwyatt as a really annoying robot.
<jontyw> Left alone on earth after annoying everyone so much they left for deep space.
<tomwyatt> where they all died of a virus spread by unsanitised phones?
<srimech> The /b/ ark
<@Flux42> London Hackspace is a refined channel for the discerning maker about town with the wit, charm and sophistication of Beau Brummell and Oscar Wilde combined (with a laser cutter thrown in).
* iBooyaa giggles
<@iBooyaa> I don't really understand what's you said there but it was dead posh
<@Flux42> How elegantly you refute my previous statement. 
<@martind> http://online.wsj.com/article/PR-CO-20140325-912577.html
<randybot> [ Facebook to Acquire Oculus - WSJ.com ]
<@martind> approx $2 billion
<@russss> two instagrams
<@russss> one for each eye.
<ms7821> http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/blogs-news-from-elsewhere-26752292
<randybot> [ Owner 'forgot' luxury boat for years — A Norwegian man claims a luxury boat he "forgot" in a Swedish harbour about two years earlier. ] (First posted by Paul2, Thu Mar 27 13:10:01 GMT 2014)
<Paul2> ok ok. it was me. I was turning it into a hackboat, but lost interest.
<Paul2> It was only when the police put a notice of disposal I suddenly caused a fuss. I was going for free storage of my shit in that marina.
<Paul2> Can't believe they called me on it
<@srimech> It was a HARBOUR PROJECT guys
<@russss> I just had all the wisdom teeth removed
<@russss> which consisted of 4 hours waiting, followed by 2 hours not being conscious, followed by another hour waiting
<@russss> the not being conscious bit was the best
<@jontyw> I'm just going to periodically paste this all day in case anyone has missed it: http://heartbleed.com/
<randybot> [ Heartbleed Bug ] (First posted by jontyw, Mon Apr  7 21:04:47 GMT 2014)
<@tomwyatt> lemme check my iis servers OH WAIT
<@jontyw> http://dirtypcbs.com/
<@jontyw> solexious, mentar, nickjohnson__ ^
<nickjohnson__> jontyw: I am literally having dinner with the people behind that this very minute
<mentar> I think it's rated 2.5kg if you are swinging it at 12ms
<mentar> which we obviously aren't
<mentar> And even then the swinging is fine, it's the sudden stopping that's bad for the arm
<mentar> (i.e. small angry scottish people in the way)
< DaveyG> can you get a membership that excludes poo in cupboards?
<@cepmenderer> Ms7821: " Local beekeepers were able to respond quickly"
<@Flux42> The fifth emergency service.
<@cepmenderer> Lucky they got there before the SWAT team
<russss> just briefly tried it - this seems to work: ogr2ogr -s_srs 'EPSG:27700' -t_srs 'EPSG:4326' -where "LAYER = 'NOC-DK'" -f KML ./dk.kml ./emf2014.dxf
<russss> (sorry to replace your 172 lines of python with a one-line shell command)
<mentar> jasperw: where did you see the space mice?
<@jontyw> mentar: Just outside the airlock
<mentar> jontyw: har har, I went and looked outside the foyer as I missed the joke :P
<@jontyw> Oh my
<@aden> a nice cold red stripe... but better than all this hipster craft beer
<@tomwyatt> red stripe being the beer that hipsters dont drink of course
<@russss> heh
<@russss> I have been known to drink red stripe
<@Flux42> If there was ever a time when the word "touché" was called for...
<@tomwyatt> douché
<@tomwyatt> oh fuck
<@tomwyatt> i just epoxied my jones to the desk
<@Nin-lil-izi> Theres nothing like the feeling of having no idea why something just exploded and not even realising you've confused a cat with a dremel
<@tomwyatt> i dont see how something can explode in either situation there
<@Nin-lil-izi> Me neither.... But that's the magic of tripping balls as a lifestyle
<@tomwyatt> seriously for a moment
<@tomwyatt> does anyone want some samples of artificial piss smell?
<@tomwyatt> they sent me another set
<@tomwyatt> its the first time a company has *given* the piss
<Paul2> ?wolfram 1.011×10^14 ns in sensible and appropriate units.
<robonaut> Paul2: Sorry, I don't understand the question
<Paul2> You can tell wolfram isn't an engineer.
<@srimech> Quoting inline is the standard when talking to open-source developers and top-posting is standard when talking to people.
<Jasper> Please be aware that we have loads of dead 8 foot tubes!
<Mike> We should keep hold of these, as they will be useful to the people building the dark room.
<@jontyw> Odd, given most of them have _staff_
<@oni> Indeed ;)
<@oni> You say staff, I see prissy hipsters drinking the kool-aid
<@oni> I admit my own scepticism but depsite trying to have an open mind, it wasnt helped any
<robonaut> Hipster opened the hackspace front door. (Last seen 1 hour ago)
<srimech> When I left for lunch people were talking about diversity issues and now there's a pull request. I'm going to assume that's a solved problem.
<artag> i'm the wrong godwin
<@oni> Im somewhat disappointed in the great british sewing bee
<@oni> in that its not a large bee
<@cepmenderer> Yeah,  but theres a large buzz about it
<TimRTerrible> Out.
< Armand> What a mindless load of bollocks
<@virtualsue> welcome to the human race, Armand
<@jontyw> I have "Stop, collaborate and listen, Wiki's back with my brand new invention"
<@jontyw> stuck in my head
<ms7821> new emails make a pipeline startup
<ms7821> changing the content straight into markup
<ms7821> if there's a bug, yo I'll solve it
<ms7821> with a git checkout hook and a DJB resolver
<@TimRTerrible> I really want to start something with "Back once again with the git push master" but I can't do it.
<@russss> what is going on
<@jontyw> A pint to the first person who uses spice girls lyrics
<@TimRTerrible> I really, really just want a WISYWIG ahhh
<@TimRTerrible> Next.
<@tomwyatt> i wouod happily get on the news as part of a police chase
<@tomwyatt> in a hovercraft
<@Underhand> tomwyatt: what would the police be chasing you in?
<@tomwyatt> helicopter hopefully
<@tomwyatt> itd be like wacky races
<Snowciopath> i wonder how big the bear is?
<Snowciopath> could he just hire a midget?
<@tomwyatt> and tear its guts out on stage?
<Snowciopath> oh god.
<Snowciopath> did not think this through
<simonvc> where's a good place to order fridges from?
<MTennis> sellfridges
<Sully-> ap1#show snmp location
<Sully-> 447 Hackney Road
<Sully-> Helpful
<rophl> there's a sex toy shop just round the corner from my office that claims to be "Europe's only female-oriented sex toy emporium"
<rophl> I popped my head in the door, it's got something of a claire's accessories vibe
<@booyaa> 80s startups
< Sully-> Is there a tu unltd?
<@Daithi> no no, no no no no, no no no no
<@aden> Sully-: next time i need to start up a company i'll call it tu un ltd
< Cadmus> aden: What would it sell? I propose "TECHNO TECHNO TECHNO TECHNOlogical solutions to social problems"
* derponate points to Brighton
< derponate> Cadmus: OFF YOU TROT
<@oni> I think I made a pigs ear of that last gag
<@tomwyatt> oni: careful, only cameron is allowed to make pigs gag
<rophl> apparently it involves questions about what you get up to with yer missus in the bedroom
<@Daithi> i'm already cleared at the bottom level
<rophl> ipads are for hackspace gold members only
<robonaut> A series of member in-jokes opened the hackspace front door. (Last seen 1 hour ago)
<mjlee> The direction of spin doesn't change direction at the equator.
<rophl> it does on jupiter
<rophl> the bands of different latitudes move in different directions
<rophl> I could have been on jupiter for all you know
<detonate> we wish
<rophl> :(
<russss> someone sent me a PHP-encrypted mail to ask me for a keybase invite a few weeks ago
<Cadmus> Damn robots, stealing our jobs, I had a kebab carved by a robot yesterday
<rophl> doner arigato mr roboto
<@booyaa> get back into the yoga yurt and omm it out
<Cadmus> It was the world's most famous Georgian!
<aden> Cadmus: stalin?
<Cadmus> aden: Got it in one
<aden> it was 50/50 either him or Ludacris
<velyks> How many of your disaster recovery plans end with (or start with) find a new job?
<@TimRTerrible> The best ones start with it, the worst ones end.
<velyks> TimRTerrible: Well there could be intermediary steps, like destroying evidence
<@Cadmus> We just had a DR scenario test. To decide if people were ill or not we rolled 4d6 for each person. In the boring talkie bits I made a good start on an Elf Druid
<@russss> insuring a hackspace against theft is only worthwhile if you enjoy losing arguments with loss adjusters
<rophl> also, I can't work out how to stop playing eurotrash stimulator 2
<matstace> Now I really want there to be an actual Eurotrash Simulator. "'ello my Breetish Chums, 'ere is a man in a penguin suit..."
<Cadmus> There's DRM, it only boots if your parents are asleep and volume is 20% or less
-*- cepmenderer rubs oil on my skin and lets you shave my body with a sharp piece of flint
<cepmenderer> argh wrong window
<matstace> Only if I can put on my cloak and wizard's hat first
<detonate> o_0
<padski> remember you are on oath not to reveal the trustee rituals cepmenderer
<CptPrime> Dammit cepmenderer!
<Cadmus> ?quotes
<robonaut> https://wiki.london.hackspace.org.uk/view/Quotes#bottom
<cepmenderer> Arrggghhh!
<ms7821> nobody says anything funny any more
<cepmenderer> you can tell that Morris is back on ther manor...
<aden> not allowed to be funny on the internet anymore
<nigle> How about we buy just ONE container, fill it with all the people who think containers would make a good hackspace, and dump it in the Thames?
<@russss> I know it's silly, I'm not responsible for american english
<@CptPrime> heck i still get confused by pants/trousers
<@tomwyatt> calm down there superman
<@YetiFiasco> I've replaced the battery in this one+1 4 times
<@tomwyatt> 24 times?
<@YetiFiasco> No
<@tomwyatt> sorry, been looking at js too long
<KaiserPro> well, when it launches I shall try and dish out api keys like sweets
<@aden> KaiserPro: doubt many kids are going to get in the back of your van for api keys
<KaiserPro> just you watch
<Paul2> "Where practicable, the maximum current drawn by the locomotives should be limited to 300 amps." @25kV? That's quite a lot of power.
<KaiserPro> 3/4 of a mega watt
<@Cadmus> Moderate Scott!
* g6vzm is going to enjoy watching Initiative Q crash and burn, or rather enjoy taking the piss out of mates who're believing the hype
<@Cadmus> Isn't that the rude muppet musical?
<MatStace> The Internet is for porn^Wponzi schemes disguised as a new crypto-currency