threat level: ill-informed and annoying

So you went to work today, did you? You thought it was important to get a few things to make some woo woo exotic dish did you? Oh your kid needed diapers is it now? Your elderly father needed a few things rearranged? What a selfish asshole you are! #staythefuckhome damn it! That fresh air? Full of viruses, you clown. Oh, you think your measly paid time off is for you to enjoy even though you’re not sick? You want a vacation at some point in this decade? WTAF? You dick! You utter cunt! If someone DIES it will be your fault, though this argument makes no fucking sense to the Experts we are supposed to listen to, ONLY. MY SISTER’S BOYFRIEND’S COUSIN SAID THE NEXT PERSON YOU CONTACT WILL DIE. Well, and the media that I was told smelled their farts. If someone doesn’t make you stay home, then I am going to yell enough through the internet until the national guard puts you there! You don’t like it? Your CDC nerds can’t handle this truth? Well fuck them too! My dead grandma’s cat sitter’s (once removed) stepsister’s cousin’s kickboxing coach’s nephew fucking died already! HOW DARE YOU leave the house. I can’t believe you, disrespecting his death like that. I was personally affected once I read the Facebook chain message that somehow came from my dead grandma’s memorial account. How fucking dare you fail to take this seriously. You’re out there PERFECTLY FUCKING HEALTHY, NOT SHUT THE FUCK UP INDOORS, ASSISTING THOSE WHO MAY BE AFFECTED BY A HEALTH CRISIS? God damn, the nerve on you. Cooperating, giving more in a trying time faced with a wall of propaganda from a ruling class that uh uh, only wants to see a GOOD DIE OFF. Welp, I guess this will be your fault. Because I’m a frightful idiot with memes and an endless understanding of 80s and 90s pop culture that can last for as long as I’m told to harass people who have to get shit done regardless of when we’re told to collectively kneel and die there.

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