. As you learn more and more of the ideas of Objectivism you are better equipping your conscious mind with the ideas that it needs to judge, evaluate, and act in a manner that is proper to a rational man. Good philosophical ideas have the power to change your conscious convictions radically and dramatically, but your mind consists of more than just your conscious convictions. Your subconscious, from whence all emotion springs, holds the sum total of all of your earlier judgments and evaluations, many of which may be in conflict with your new conscious convictions. As a result you may find that the feelings you have may not reflect the ideas that you now hold. For instance, perhaps you will respond sexually to the type of woman that you disdain, and be impotent towards the type of woman that you consciously revere. Or, perhaps, you might lack the motivation you need to actively pursue something of great value, a career for instance. In order to be come harmonious -- in order to integrate together your new conscious convictions with your subconscious judgments -- you need to clearly identify the premises and motivations that you hold subconsciously, and thereby ferret them out in light of conscious judgment. For some this can be a difficult process, especially for those who have not been in touch with their subconscious over years of their life. The value of a good psychologist lies in assisting you to identify your underlying subconscious premises and emotions, and reprogramming your subconscious, so to speak, to reflect your conscious convictions. Like many young people you seem to have been seeking some guidance in how to live your life, itself a recognition that both life and ideas matter. You can change your conscious convictions by the judicious study of Objectivism, but the process of ferreting out your earlier ideas and resulting feelings takes additional time and effort. You are correct that you can, and should, always assume conscious control of your actions and be guided by your premises, but you may continue to feel emotions that do not reflect the new premises you have. Psychology can be helpful to you in this regard. 