crumb/onebench · Datasets at Fast360

text stringlengths 1 399
checked my inbox for 2 seconds & immediately saw a genital. could not parse which type of genital it was before tossing my phone out the car
woah. just realized the "Hungryman" logo on this can of sloppy joe is referring to me, the guy buying and eating thhe food. Insane mindfuck
slow motion film of my ass deflating into a wrinkled mess, my screams can be heard in the backgrond, awful & beast-like due to altered pitch
my favorite part of nascar is when I vomit all over my shirt and car after the race., desecrating the logos of the brands that enslave me
you must face the mirror daily and ask your self: "which brands will i touch base with today". you have to ask it out loud or it won't work.
"the key to making that steak sizzle is to get a nice dry rub from your dry rub man, and prayer. prayer fucking owns" - sun tzu or some shit
TO AVOID SCARING OR OFFENDING CHILDREN WE'VE TAKEN ANNE FRANK'S DIARY AND REPLACED EVERY INSTANCE OF THE WORD "NAZI" WITH "POLICE MAN"
yea i torched the dennys. and i woudlve gotten away with it, if i werent the only guy in town with a custom jersey that says "My Wife" on it
going on a diarrhea strike (giving myself diarrhea on purpose) unntil the us govt forces my daughters to join the isreali defense force
We All Have That Friend: We All Have That Friend Who Looks At Porno
ive made an arrangement with the casino. im allowed to yell at the slot machines now, but only if i actually put money in them first
"The Thanksgiving Day Parade is not canon. The events depicted therein have no place within the Garfield timeline." - Jim Davis, Paws Entmt
my new shit: "Burger king = mc donalds" Please let me know what you think of my new shit, and provide suggestions on how I can improve it.
i do not give a shit of the official WHOTUS stance, i refuse to hear it, i will never forgive the turkey, i will not bow to that filthy bird
as punishment, the townspeople force me to wear a prominent, scarlet letter "A", which stands for "a big piece of shit who loves crime"
me and the boys run the most hated content house in all of tinsel Town. all we do is cuck each other by accident and forgive each other
Perhaps the tier I aspire to achieve the most is that of the Milk Bone brand. Such flawless precisIon. Beauty; Grace. Truly awe inspiring .
THinking of a "Boy's Day" of twitter..won't post specifics due to trolls, but basically all girls will nicely be asked to log out for 24hrs,
i went to arizona accompanied by two desert goblins and smoked spirit leaf out of a human stomach
if i hear another "joke" regarduing my terminally ill dickwife so help me god i'm shutting down this entire irc server
theres a 3rd babe movie where he turns into a human at the end. beautifully done scene. the pigs dream comes true. the government Blocked it
please let me edit my tweets so i can go back and remove every reference to pig piss and liking pig piss
an old man wheezes into a ragged cloth; Bam looks into camera, says "Woah, glad im not That cloth!" thne does a Bogus airspin into the trash
they are inventing a new type of Lesbian in 2023 they just said it on CNN
#LeaveItIn2012 bin laden. kil;l the piece of shit
just realized that every hare brained dick boy who follows me on here is fucking simping for me. Nasty!! That shit makes me puke!!
at full power, telling every one on the "Am I The Ass Hole" sub reddit that they are the ass hole without reading their posts
to everyone talking shit about my fine motor skills: gives the Finger, checks to see if correct finger is extended, it isn't, tries again
just read something fucked up... Not a single picture of stonehenge exists.
ive been legally advised to state that the video of me being escorted out of a hospital while clutching a nerf gun ansd making noise is fake
was gonna bring back the classic "piss" gag but you cant say the word "piss" any more. theyll get ya. ford trucks .com built ford truck #ad
This is a guy who I imagine likes to jerk the old pole at night& masturbate. This is a guy who uses tired swear words like "Fuck" and "Damn"
i wear the oj simpson glove while i post . thats just a small example of how fucked up i am. Dont make me tell u more
I just generated a #TweetCloud out of a year of my tweets. Top three words: jackson, 1958-2009, michael - http://w33.us/3kq0
((pulls gun out in bank) NObody MOVE OR ILL BPLOW YOUR FUCKING HEAD OFF (empties a shit load of free lollipops & dog biscuits into big jeans
you tube has very specifically been recommending me videos of apes getting electrocuted so clearly the data indicates im some sort of mutant
hollering man still causing mischief at supercuts. theyll never attempt to turn your dog into a cat just by giving it a haircut, get over it
if my Marmaduke internship doesn't pan out i will have nothing. Nothing
i love to hover hand my gf in pictures. (gets Owned across various media) sorry. Sorry everyone. I forgot that was bad
reminder to tell everyone who follows you that theyre a good person. Please. I can soft block every single one of you. I have all day
lumbering dick head told off by albertsons cart boy for trying to siphon gas from a moped while dressed like a blues brother
in the year 2030 , "You will be able to order food on the cell phone"
"grouse pandy"
wassup babe, im the reason Pregnancy-info .net disabled video embedding on their forums, how abuot giving me a nice kiss
click this post to spiritually align yourself with Hot Nacho , the devilishly delightful blend of actual nacho spices imported from DarkNet
i am the simpsons, all of them. yes. turn off the cameras this interview is ove
Leeroy the Jenkins guy
mario means "penis " in japanese
"what are ya.." i said to his face. "some kind of a FReak cop?" he desperately reached for his badge but it was fused permanently to his leg
Trying to get clicked on
feed your dog with this one insane pringles hack
the trolls: please Followback, and also Yolo me: HUh?? Shit for brians? Whuuuaa?? Egads. Homina Homina. Sweet Baby Crap. You're a fool
maybe instead of a toaster they shoul call it a "Toast cooker" #normalMansThoughts
just because i am allergic to wi-fi doesn't mean i can't respect it and recognize its useful applications. it is me who is wriong, im shit,
Check out these amazing pics of fat guys slammin chairs around then a hottie getting fucked by pumpkin head http://t.co/VYAuuVbu
Had it up to here witht the chuckle crew. If you think my posts are bullshit I challenge you to come waterboard me and destroy me perfectly.
in conclousion, there's some action packed heavy hitter s in the world of games being released soon, and I hope you all buy them. Bye
im making this canon whether u like it or not http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5806451/1/the_ventura_twins
top 10 diapers annihilated by throwing axe Fuck sopa
how is it even - possible, - to remain Muscled in this black world - - pain is god and im Her disciple. tron: legacy -
replying to massive amounts of flagrant screwball tweets with words like "Tedious" followed by a period
http://t.co/gFFTBY9aiA teen wolf wiki asks the hard hitting questions
GETS RIGHT UP IN WIFE'S FACE AND DEMANDS "THE BOOK OF ELI" THEMED THANKSGIVING DINNER; MANGLES A THING OF PAPER TOWELS AND HURLS IT AT WALL
welp, time to rescue egypt from muslims. asomebody please carry all 900 pounds of me to the site of the protests. wait nevermind im good
fellas if your girl isnt losing control of her bowels every time you take her to bed "You are not tapping that thing RIGHT!!!"
i singlehandedly brought the OJ Simpson brand back from the brink of calamity and by God I will protect Yahoo. com from these online devils
i've just been notified by the oracle that late night personality jay leno is currently in Denim Mode.
how much money would have to be given to FOX executives in order to make the dancing football robot say "lets kiss some nerds dicks" on tv
A dog with five tattoos has appeared online
i will also ritualistically remove The Taint Of Sin from any stolen good you bring to my office (a plastic dog igloo)
whether its that Hot rock N' roll or Cool jazz, well we can know what the one thing is that we all can agree on, is that it is "Pretty good"
reality check....its not "Funny" or "Good" to fool Content Creators into showing their penis to the official red lobster account‚Äî Perieod.
might siphon some gasoline to generate a non fungible jordan peterson fortnite skin or what ever you fucking dopes think is good. idont know
‚ñ≤ ‚ñ≤ ‚ñ≤ htese are the jeans that christ died in ‚ñ≤ ‚ñ≤ ‚ñ≤
(looking into a big toilet filled with shit , piss and toilet paper, shaking my head) this is fucking stupid. hardly worth my time
itd be funny if a troll tired to "Own" me by leaking my DMs & only prove that i had sex before anf i get laid even more because theyre good
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tRA5x5g6fo8
get yourself a few dozen trash bags and stash them in a drawer somewhere. never know when you might need em #TheSaturdayMorningRamble
first you have democrats and rtepublicans. theyre basically the same thing. then you have green party and uh, the whigs. theyre the same too
rides a segway through a monolith labeled Drugs & Alcohol , destroying it.
Genius: the Human body can survive being shot 100 times Fool: ? Genius: (Shoots self in th exact same spot 100 times) remember to click Like
I AM VERY BAD ARMENIAN LADY ! I AM SO BAD THAT EVEN DEVOL IS AFRAID OF ME ! I WILL TEAR ENYBODYS SPIRIT & GIVE IT TO HIM ; WHO PUT DISLIKE !
i hate it when the refferree kicks me in the balls and ass while my opponent has me in a head lock
http://t.co/sh1Ydsxf my cool forems
a man asks God, how am i supposed to live, without George H.W. Bush God simply said "That is why I made 2 george bushs" The man just smiled.
the boys on shark tank just loving my propeller beanie that sprays piss everywhere while it spins
down load the brexit app today muy lord
my dick is in the news agian. and Ouh, whats this?? The damn gas prices are sky rocketing while everyones distracted. Trite.
the knock out game is a lot of crap. Lord heal oru youth . Lord heal our youth #TheThursdayNiteRant
the Joe Dirt watcher's rockin' Joe Dirt quote of the week: "Watch Joe Dirt"
"breaking in" my new pair of jeans by tossing it onto the freeway and letting cars run over it while i observe it through a scope
i personally blame th e skyrocketing army suicide rate on the Preposterous fucking bullshit i post here on a near daily basis
you gotta check out my posts
i ask my followers not to look at my posts between the hours of 10:00-16:00 on may 12th douring which time i'l be freaking out for no reason
http://www.cornbird.com/goods/draw/hommers.png the hommers
so if the admin posts pictures of his varicose vein clusters it's ok, but when i do it my avatar is replaced with hands gripping prison bars
Ive built a solid rapport with the Moderation staff. And I thank them for Punishing me while discussing Arts & Culture w/ other 30yr old men
i finally learned how to photoshop the bitter fbeer face onto women after spending 15 years jacking off to the keystone bitter beer face ads
some times, it would seem to me, that some of the people who use "smart phones", are ANY THING BUT !!! #OhButUGottaLaugh
i am a cot and pickin "tells it like it is "son of a bitch

checked my inbox for 2 seconds & immediately saw a genital. could not parse which type of genital it was before tossing my phone out the car

woah. just realized the "Hungryman" logo on this can of sloppy joe is referring to me, the guy buying and eating thhe food. Insane mindfuck

slow motion film of my ass deflating into a wrinkled mess, my screams can be heard in the backgrond, awful & beast-like due to altered pitch

my favorite part of nascar is when I vomit all over my shirt and car after the race., desecrating the logos of the brands that enslave me

you must face the mirror daily and ask your self: "which brands will i touch base with today". you have to ask it out loud or it won't work.

"the key to making that steak sizzle is to get a nice dry rub from your dry rub man, and prayer. prayer fucking owns" - sun tzu or some shit

TO AVOID SCARING OR OFFENDING CHILDREN WE'VE TAKEN ANNE FRANK'S DIARY AND REPLACED EVERY INSTANCE OF THE WORD "NAZI" WITH "POLICE MAN"

yea i torched the dennys. and i woudlve gotten away with it, if i werent the only guy in town with a custom jersey that says "My Wife" on it

going on a diarrhea strike (giving myself diarrhea on purpose) unntil the us govt forces my daughters to join the isreali defense force

We All Have That Friend: We All Have That Friend Who Looks At Porno

ive made an arrangement with the casino. im allowed to yell at the slot machines now, but only if i actually put money in them first

"The Thanksgiving Day Parade is not canon. The events depicted therein have no place within the Garfield timeline." - Jim Davis, Paws Entmt

my new shit: "Burger king = mc donalds" Please let me know what you think of my new shit, and provide suggestions on how I can improve it.

i do not give a shit of the official WHOTUS stance, i refuse to hear it, i will never forgive the turkey, i will not bow to that filthy bird

as punishment, the townspeople force me to wear a prominent, scarlet letter "A", which stands for "a big piece of shit who loves crime"

me and the boys run the most hated content house in all of tinsel Town. all we do is cuck each other by accident and forgive each other

Perhaps the tier I aspire to achieve the most is that of the Milk Bone brand. Such flawless precisIon. Beauty; Grace. Truly awe inspiring .

THinking of a "Boy's Day" of twitter..won't post specifics due to trolls, but basically all girls will nicely be asked to log out for 24hrs,

i went to arizona accompanied by two desert goblins and smoked spirit leaf out of a human stomach

if i hear another "joke" regarduing my terminally ill dickwife so help me god i'm shutting down this entire irc server

theres a 3rd babe movie where he turns into a human at the end. beautifully done scene. the pigs dream comes true. the government Blocked it

please let me edit my tweets so i can go back and remove every reference to pig piss and liking pig piss

an old man wheezes into a ragged cloth; Bam looks into camera, says "Woah, glad im not That cloth!" thne does a Bogus airspin into the trash

they are inventing a new type of Lesbian in 2023 they just said it on CNN

#LeaveItIn2012 bin laden. kil;l the piece of shit

just realized that every hare brained dick boy who follows me on here is fucking simping for me. Nasty!! That shit makes me puke!!

at full power, telling every one on the "Am I The Ass Hole" sub reddit that they are the ass hole without reading their posts

to everyone talking shit about my fine motor skills: *gives the Finger, checks to see if correct finger is extended, it isn't, tries again*

just read something fucked up... Not a single picture of stonehenge exists.

ive been legally advised to state that the video of me being escorted out of a hospital while clutching a nerf gun ansd making noise is fake

was gonna bring back the classic "piss" gag but you cant say the word "piss" any more. theyll get ya. ford trucks .com built ford truck #ad

This is a guy who I imagine likes to jerk the old pole at night& masturbate. This is a guy who uses tired swear words like "Fuck" and "Damn"

i wear the oj simpson glove while i post . thats just a small example of how fucked up i am. Dont make me tell u more

I just generated a #TweetCloud out of a year of my tweets. Top three words: jackson, 1958-2009, michael - http://w33.us/3kq0

((pulls gun out in bank) NObody MOVE OR ILL BPLOW YOUR FUCKING HEAD OFF (empties a shit load of free lollipops & dog biscuits into big jeans

you tube has very specifically been recommending me videos of apes getting electrocuted so clearly the data indicates im some sort of mutant

hollering man still causing mischief at supercuts. theyll never attempt to turn your dog into a cat just by giving it a haircut, get over it

if my Marmaduke internship doesn't pan out i will have nothing. Nothing

i love to hover hand my gf in pictures. (gets Owned across various media) sorry. Sorry everyone. I forgot that was bad

reminder to tell everyone who follows you that theyre a good person. Please. I can soft block every single one of you. I have all day

lumbering dick head told off by albertsons cart boy for trying to siphon gas from a moped while dressed like a blues brother

in the year 2030 , "You will be able to order food on the cell phone"

"grouse pandy"

wassup babe, im the reason Pregnancy-info .net disabled video embedding on their forums, how abuot giving me a nice kiss

click this post to spiritually align yourself with Hot Nacho , the devilishly delightful blend of actual nacho spices imported from DarkNet

i am the simpsons, all of them. yes. turn off the cameras this interview is ove

Leeroy the Jenkins guy

mario means "penis " in japanese

"what are ya.." i said to his face. "some kind of a FReak cop?" he desperately reached for his badge but it was fused permanently to his leg

Trying to get clicked on

feed your dog with this one insane pringles hack

the trolls: please Followback, and also Yolo me: HUh?? Shit for brians? Whuuuaa?? Egads. Homina Homina. Sweet Baby Crap. You're a fool

maybe instead of a toaster they shoul call it a "Toast cooker" #normalMansThoughts

just because i am allergic to wi-fi doesn't mean i can't respect it and recognize its useful applications. it is me who is wriong, im shit,

Check out these amazing pics of fat guys slammin chairs around then a hottie getting fucked by pumpkin head http://t.co/VYAuuVbu

Had it up to here witht the chuckle crew. If you think my posts are bullshit I challenge you to come waterboard me and destroy me perfectly.

in conclousion, there's some action packed heavy hitter s in the world of games being released soon, and I hope you all buy them. Bye

im making this canon whether u like it or not http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5806451/1/the_ventura_twins

top 10 diapers annihilated by throwing axe Fuck sopa

how is it even - possible, - to remain Muscled in this black world - - pain is god and im Her disciple. tron: legacy -

replying to massive amounts of flagrant screwball tweets with words like "Tedious" followed by a period

http://t.co/gFFTBY9aiA teen wolf wiki asks the hard hitting questions

GETS RIGHT UP IN WIFE'S FACE AND DEMANDS "THE BOOK OF ELI" THEMED THANKSGIVING DINNER; MANGLES A THING OF PAPER TOWELS AND HURLS IT AT WALL

welp, time to rescue egypt from muslims. asomebody please carry all 900 pounds of me to the site of the protests. wait nevermind im good

fellas if your girl isnt losing control of her bowels every time you take her to bed "You are not tapping that thing RIGHT!!!"

i singlehandedly brought the OJ Simpson brand back from the brink of calamity and by God I will protect Yahoo. com from these online devils

i've just been notified by the oracle that late night personality jay leno is currently in Denim Mode.

how much money would have to be given to FOX executives in order to make the dancing football robot say "lets kiss some nerds dicks" on tv

A dog with five tattoos has appeared online

i will also ritualistically remove The Taint Of Sin from any stolen good you bring to my office (a plastic dog igloo)

whether its that Hot rock N' roll or Cool jazz, well we can know what the one thing is that we all can agree on, is that it is "Pretty good"

reality check....its not "Funny" or "Good" to fool Content Creators into showing their penis to the official red lobster account‚Äî Perieod.

might siphon some gasoline to generate a non fungible jordan peterson fortnite skin or what ever you fucking dopes think is good. idont know

‚ñ≤ ‚ñ≤ ‚ñ≤ htese are the jeans that christ died in ‚ñ≤ ‚ñ≤ ‚ñ≤

(looking into a big toilet filled with shit , piss and toilet paper, shaking my head) this is fucking stupid. hardly worth my time

itd be funny if a troll tired to "Own" me by leaking my DMs & only prove that i had sex before anf i get laid even more because theyre good

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tRA5x5g6fo8

get yourself a few dozen trash bags and stash them in a drawer somewhere. never know when you might need em #TheSaturdayMorningRamble

first you have democrats and rtepublicans. theyre basically the same thing. then you have green party and uh, the whigs. theyre the same too

*rides a segway through a monolith labeled Drugs & Alcohol , destroying it.*

Genius: the Human body can survive being shot 100 times Fool: ? Genius: (Shoots self in th exact same spot 100 times) remember to click Like

I AM VERY BAD ARMENIAN LADY ! I AM SO BAD THAT EVEN DEVOL IS AFRAID OF ME ! I WILL TEAR ENYBODYS SPIRIT & GIVE IT TO HIM ; WHO PUT DISLIKE !

i hate it when the refferree kicks me in the balls and ass while my opponent has me in a head lock

http://t.co/sh1Ydsxf my cool forems

a man asks God, how am i supposed to live, without George H.W. Bush God simply said "That is why I made 2 george bushs" The man just smiled.

the boys on shark tank just loving my propeller beanie that sprays piss everywhere while it spins

down load the brexit app today muy lord

my dick is in the news agian. and Ouh, whats this?? The damn gas prices are sky rocketing while everyones distracted. Trite.

the knock out game is a lot of crap. Lord heal oru youth . Lord heal our youth #TheThursdayNiteRant

the Joe Dirt watcher's rockin' Joe Dirt quote of the week: "Watch Joe Dirt"

"breaking in" my new pair of jeans by tossing it onto the freeway and letting cars run over it while i observe it through a scope

i personally blame th e skyrocketing army suicide rate on the Preposterous fucking bullshit i post here on a near daily basis

you gotta check out my posts

i ask my followers not to look at my posts between the hours of 10:00-16:00 on may 12th douring which time i'l be freaking out for no reason

http://www.cornbird.com/goods/draw/hommers.png the hommers

so if the admin posts pictures of his varicose vein clusters it's ok, but when i do it my avatar is replaced with hands gripping prison bars

Ive built a solid rapport with the Moderation staff. And I thank them for Punishing me while discussing Arts & Culture w/ other 30yr old men

i finally learned how to photoshop the bitter fbeer face onto women after spending 15 years jacking off to the keystone bitter beer face ads

some times, it would seem to me, that some of the people who use "smart phones", are ANY THING BUT !!! #OhButUGottaLaugh

i am a cot and pickin "tells it like it is "son of a bitch