crumb/onebench · Datasets at Fast360

text stringlengths 1 399
call your senator and the local news and tell them you wan't to see the snyder cut, of my posts
all hospitals should have a masturbation ward where you can just go to "let one loose" even if you're not sick
my friend the only crypto currency you wanna get your hands on is this: bird seed. There is a lot of birds and they all gotta eat
when the dow hits 30000 it means you get $30000 every time th e libor scandal happens , so, a lot of people will be thinking thats good
youve heard of the trail of tears, well, if the boys in the white house had their way it would be the trail of taxes, and we;d get the shaft
i dont respect the cowboy life style any more and if you are doing cowboy shit you might as well be wearing a clowns outfit
mr buzz feed here folks. just lost my job again, this time by trying to sniff a flower on a mans shirt and getting water squirted in my face
funds removed from 1000s of accounts, markets crash, after deranged poster says that charles schwab & company "touches there self at night"
do not piss my ass off. do not goof around with my ass
-tweeting about stuff thats off-topic is "Random". never do this. -tweeting about current event stuff is "Topical". and this is also a crime
Q: How goes it, Mr 007. BOND: mission accoomplished, i have electrocuted The Bitch. now give me my money before i start knocking shit around
enjoying watching a filmed video, of my illuminating debate with HitlerSkeptic , now available on Ouya
i refuse to go to work until sex is eliminated. are we still doing the sex strike jokes. well thats my one
the US army sent my police departmet 100000 hideous robot arms to rip off citizens' heads but heres the thing, we only need like 500 of them
earning 100% completion rating in the latest game from the "SEX ADDICT" series by PissRealms, and hating every minute of it
SOME ASS HOLE ATE MY TONGUE AND REPLACED IT WITH HIM SELF AND IS EATING EVERYTHING I TRY TO EAT
You know, from the tone of your posts, it seems as though you actually WANT the Jeff Dunham brand to fail .
does that make me a nasty guy? Maybe. I just shrug and say "Fuck you" and "Fuck yourself"
these accusations that I like the gas prices are especially absurd, when you consider that ive been like the MAIN guy saying that theyre bad
lvoe to perform aerial leg drops on the referee
the famous time-tested classic, the philly cheesesteak, has become Sexualized by greed
and i find it kind of funny i find it kind of sad the dreams in which im Beavis are the best ive ever had
in solidarity with all of this crap going on, ive Poisoned my ass hole
i now hereby declare that all of the guys who reply to my posts are now married to the girls who reply to my posts, and thats that
taking up a precious spot in the line for the overcrowded bathroom so i can sneeze into the toilet one single time
unemployable crab husk shit
a teen approached me at the food court and said "I see you wore your clown costume today" and i spent the next 9 hours processing the insult
NET PERVERSION >>>>> BAD <<<<<< MURDER ^ NEW LIGHT BULBS
I am Donald "Penis" Trump, known & hated for my Inflammatory rhetoric, as well as my old mafia-style Racism. Looking forward to posting here
the epic shit of 2017; is the boys getting TheSegaPimp fired from his job at The Red Cross for not wishing me a "Happy Halloween"
holding up hte line at Aldi with a barricade of shopping carts, desparately trying to contact the ex-wife to ask if im allowed to eat Pectin
if trucks can wear nuts Then i should be allowed to nail yosemite sam mudflaps to my asscheeks
GagBlog.Eu // 12 Most Awkward Honor Killings // The Ten Beer Commandments // Sex Mom Debunks LIBOR Scandal // GagBlog.Eu
You should have to have Four years experience as a Chef before you are allowed to become a Waiter. The crap has become ridiculous
got a LOT of horseshit today 4 trying to take my snail into city hall, dangling upsidedown from mayors chandelier til all this ugliness ends
FOOL: Love to get a bee in my bonnet ME: theres no possible way you could love that. take this down immediately FOOL: Ah, foiled again
"SORRY BOYS!" your cum tributes of me are highly inept, trite, and bogus. Futher more, they look like dog shit. Do better
The reason the "Cars" movies have gained so much popularity is becuase the cars speak to one another. You don't get that with real life cars
Houly fuck.. They did it. They replaced all the HF corn syrup w/ pure cane sugar. My minds absolutly blown by this shitty drink for children
yea i totally deserve to be put on the sex offender registry cause i got caught taking pictures of my feet at fiveguys burger and fries. Not
YES !! YES ! PULLOVER http://t.co/GIiYo3sj6e
chris brown engulfs the crowd in acid piss during bad concert, disfiguring scores of his awful fans (Says He's Sorry) #Grammys #teambreezy
nows the time when the CEO of the company inspects each employee's shit, and im nervous cus my turds look like fucked up little caterpillers
wow how about instead of spitting that moutwash down the drain you spit it on your chest and rub it allover your self #TimesRunningOut
theyll let any dirty looking man get on television and claim hes a cowboy its STUPID! they think youre STUPID With this shit
\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|........... 72% your Ass - Kicking is now downloading Mutha FUcka Stupid Ass
if your web site asks me for a coupon code i will never not put "RUDY" in the son of a bitch
people who like getting whacked in the balls; that shit sucks. youre outta your mind
id like a discount on this used tort law textbook please. the last guy who had it drew female versions of Garfield on a bunch of the pages
when your uncles militia surrounds your house with rifles & accuses you of being a dark money pedophile you use it as an opportunity to grow
you have the right to remain Diapered. anything you shit can and will be held against you in a quart of piss
i posted on here earlier about how ihad a leather belt wrapped around my nuts and not a single person asked if i was ok. Fuck you
dis charged from the army for doing memes too much
the Iranian parliament holding an assembly to watch the dance scene from Son of the Mask on a poor quality vhs tape and screaming at it
#AnimalTVShows pig fucker
if you recently dumpster dived a combination dildo/inhaler emblazoned with the hot wheels logo, please return it. thats the only thing i own
The Foundation For The Restoration Of American Honor Has Given President Barack Hussein Obama A Hitler Rating Of 34. This Is The Worst One.
i bet i could knock a grammy statue over with my piss #grammys
real_damn_fairly_misanthropic_red_m_and_m
i lovoe challenging people on here to Duals and beaning them with a sniper rifle while theyre like fucking with their phone, waiting for me
wow theyrre releasing more of these already http://t.co/m8INRDahRZ
some one explain please to me why the letter board at my local arbys has said "happy hour" for months now, before i get the police involved
I wish all the piss in the world would go straight into the toilet!!!! I hate dirty, disgusting PISS! No more!! Never!
maybe the ski mask guy who blasted the "Doge" dog across the room like a rag doll.. maybe he was all of us. my opinion. unfollow if u must.
#NationalCerealDay i fuck all cereal
BILY JOEL ROCKS MY HEART AND SOOTHES MY SOUL - FINAL ANSWER REGIS - AS I LAY DYING
as a guy who developed an autoimmune response to comedy as a result of being "Roasted" for my Ice man tattoo, ive much to say of April FOols
wait i fucked that up. its suppose to be "good cheers to my friends, and this Year - best luck and thank you" and then i raise my botle
foudn some excellent Ass Shirts in a big red bag behind the hospital. i am replacing my entire wardrobe of tuxedos and zoot suits,with these
it's not good for the dilbert guy to come on here and say hes going to Bull Breed my wife with his Superior Spunk. i dont care if hes 200 iq
reviewed obama inauguration speech. not ONE mention of "varmints" #ProVarmintPres?? #getUmOut
Jack Ass: Arguably, in many ways, a "Two-fer" could conceivably be worse than a "One-fer" ME: I'd will not even dignify that with a response
what do I model, you ask? i model for those gag golf trophies that are given to bad players by coworkers as a joke. guy with twisted up club
im out here in the yard trying to clean up my turds with a hair brush
MOSQUITO cannot breed inside of faucet if it is running constantly... use this infor wisley
GUess who just renewed his subscription to Newsweek. this guy! (cue blurry stock footage of an unidentified fat old man spitting into a cup)
having a vision of dying completely alone and waking up in a cold sweat to post a Scathing review of a futurama episode i watched 14 yrs ago
it pains me to announce that as of april 5th, 2018, The Economist has severed ties with "Da Ass Fucka"
are you having a crap of me mate?? Are you, having a crap of me mate
aangry bird's.. a Corrupted brand. keep far away
puutting shit on my dating profile like "i will never lie to someone who's nice to me" and "i wont fuck you if you don't enjoy Movies"
i command my exwife to pour gunpowder into my pipe as i grip it between my clenched teeth and read money magazine
(in "not knowing what chickens coming home to roost means" voice) looks like the chickens have come home to roost,
Too Fat For College
one more. good night http://t.co/BaZQ2mC5Do
worst part of being my masseuse is having to suffer a 5 minute monologue before hand about how i think your job is actually extremely normal
well i was going to climb mount everest but this yelp review says theres a nude man at the summit swinging chains around and yelling "fuck u
adult man who must frequently be burped like an infant or else he will die
the numa numa man just bougt a $70million house and im here at the library trying to photocopy a fruit roll up
I;ve looked at the facts. Hell im looking at the facts right now.
but enough about my dick. today, I would like to talk to all of you about the Toilet.
#CancelColbert gangstalking me, collecting my piss, laughing it up with his fucked up buddies when I ask where my piss went, carrying on,
i think it would be fucking stupid to be a fat ass caterpillar and have your entire body be made out of weak points
i think that turning myself Gay in the summer of 2013 would really impress my overseas investors
a lot of people tripping over themselves trying to Speak on my ass. just an observation ive noticed
youtube.com sends albanian govnt. $70 for dancing dog vido. albania best country. fuck all othter dancing dog video #ubertwitter
weverything i say is blocked out by falcons screaming until i die of a coughing fit #worstpickuplines
is the thanksgiving day parade canon. are we to believe that garfield would allow himself to float around and be yanked around with strings
do they make those cones that dogs wear after surgery for people? ?? i need to stop spitting on my dick
My lawyer has advised me that I should power the box off instead of dealing with hipster comments and trash insults on this sacred holiday.

call your senator and the local news and tell them you wan't to see the snyder cut, of my posts

all hospitals should have a masturbation ward where you can just go to "let one loose" even if you're not sick

my friend the only crypto currency you wanna get your hands on is this: bird seed. There is a lot of birds and they all gotta eat

when the dow hits 30000 it means you get $30000 every time th e libor scandal happens , so, a lot of people will be thinking thats good

youve heard of the trail of tears, well, if the boys in the white house had their way it would be the trail of taxes, and we;d get the shaft

i dont respect the cowboy life style any more and if you are doing cowboy shit you might as well be wearing a clowns outfit

mr buzz feed here folks. just lost my job again, this time by trying to sniff a flower on a mans shirt and getting water squirted in my face

funds removed from 1000s of accounts, markets crash, after deranged poster says that charles schwab & company "touches there self at night"

do not piss my ass off. do not goof around with my ass

-tweeting about stuff thats off-topic is "Random". never do this. -tweeting about current event stuff is "Topical". and this is also a crime

Q: How goes it, Mr 007. BOND: mission accoomplished, i have electrocuted The Bitch. now give me my money before i start knocking shit around

enjoying watching a filmed video, of my illuminating debate with HitlerSkeptic , now available on Ouya

i refuse to go to work until sex is eliminated. are we still doing the sex strike jokes. well thats my one

the US army sent my police departmet 100000 hideous robot arms to rip off citizens' heads but heres the thing, we only need like 500 of them

earning 100% completion rating in the latest game from the "SEX ADDICT" series by PissRealms, and hating every minute of it

SOME ASS HOLE ATE MY TONGUE AND REPLACED IT WITH HIM SELF AND IS EATING EVERYTHING I TRY TO EAT

You know, from the tone of your posts, it seems as though you actually WANT the Jeff Dunham brand to fail .

does that make me a nasty guy? Maybe. I just shrug and say "Fuck you" and "Fuck yourself"

these accusations that I like the gas prices are especially absurd, when you consider that ive been like the MAIN guy saying that theyre bad

lvoe to perform aerial leg drops on the referee

the famous time-tested classic, the philly cheesesteak, has become Sexualized by greed

and i find it kind of funny i find it kind of sad the dreams in which im Beavis are the best ive ever had

in solidarity with all of this crap going on, ive Poisoned my ass hole

i now hereby declare that all of the guys who reply to my posts are now married to the girls who reply to my posts, and thats that

taking up a precious spot in the line for the overcrowded bathroom so i can sneeze into the toilet one single time

unemployable crab husk shit

a teen approached me at the food court and said "I see you wore your clown costume today" and i spent the next 9 hours processing the insult

NET PERVERSION >>>>> BAD <<<<<< MURDER ^ NEW LIGHT BULBS

I am Donald "Penis" Trump, known & hated for my Inflammatory rhetoric, as well as my old mafia-style Racism. Looking forward to posting here

the epic shit of 2017; is the boys getting TheSegaPimp fired from his job at The Red Cross for not wishing me a "Happy Halloween"

holding up hte line at Aldi with a barricade of shopping carts, desparately trying to contact the ex-wife to ask if im allowed to eat Pectin

if trucks can wear nuts Then i should be allowed to nail yosemite sam mudflaps to my asscheeks

GagBlog.Eu // 12 Most Awkward Honor Killings // The Ten Beer Commandments // Sex Mom Debunks LIBOR Scandal // GagBlog.Eu

You should have to have Four years experience as a Chef before you are allowed to become a Waiter. The crap has become ridiculous

got a LOT of horseshit today 4 trying to take my snail into city hall, dangling upsidedown from mayors chandelier til all this ugliness ends

FOOL: Love to get a bee in my bonnet ME: theres no possible way you could love that. take this down immediately FOOL: Ah, foiled again

"SORRY BOYS!" your cum tributes of me are highly inept, trite, and bogus. Futher more, they look like dog shit. Do better

The reason the "Cars" movies have gained so much popularity is becuase the cars speak to one another. You don't get that with real life cars

Houly fuck.. They did it. They replaced all the HF corn syrup w/ pure cane sugar. My minds absolutly blown by this shitty drink for children

yea i totally deserve to be put on the sex offender registry cause i got caught taking pictures of my feet at fiveguys burger and fries. Not

YES !! YES ! PULLOVER http://t.co/GIiYo3sj6e

chris brown engulfs the crowd in acid piss during bad concert, disfiguring scores of his awful fans (Says He's Sorry) #Grammys #teambreezy

nows the time when the CEO of the company inspects each employee's shit, and im nervous cus my turds look like fucked up little caterpillers

wow how about instead of spitting that moutwash down the drain you spit it on your chest and rub it allover your self #TimesRunningOut

theyll let any dirty looking man get on television and claim hes a cowboy its STUPID! they think youre STUPID With this shit

|||||||||||||||||||||||||||........... 72% your Ass - Kicking is now downloading Mutha FUcka Stupid Ass

if your web site asks me for a coupon code i will never not put "RUDY" in the son of a bitch

people who like getting whacked in the balls; that shit sucks. youre outta your mind

id like a discount on this used tort law textbook please. the last guy who had it drew female versions of Garfield on a bunch of the pages

when your uncles militia surrounds your house with rifles & accuses you of being a dark money pedophile you use it as an opportunity to grow

you have the right to remain Diapered. anything you shit can and will be held against you in a quart of piss

i posted on here earlier about how ihad a leather belt wrapped around my nuts and not a single person asked if i was ok. Fuck you

dis charged from the army for doing memes too much

the Iranian parliament holding an assembly to watch the dance scene from Son of the Mask on a poor quality vhs tape and screaming at it

#AnimalTVShows pig fucker

if you recently dumpster dived a combination dildo/inhaler emblazoned with the hot wheels logo, please return it. thats the only thing i own

The Foundation For The Restoration Of American Honor Has Given President Barack Hussein Obama A Hitler Rating Of 34. This Is The Worst One.

i bet i could knock a grammy statue over with my piss #grammys

real_damn_fairly_misanthropic_red_m_and_m

i lovoe challenging people on here to Duals and beaning them with a sniper rifle while theyre like fucking with their phone, waiting for me

wow theyrre releasing more of these already http://t.co/m8INRDahRZ

some one explain please to me why the letter board at my local arbys has said "happy hour" for months now, before i get the police involved

I wish all the piss in the world would go straight into the toilet!!!! I hate dirty, disgusting PISS! No more!! Never!

maybe the ski mask guy who blasted the "Doge" dog across the room like a rag doll.. maybe he was all of us. my opinion. unfollow if u must.

#NationalCerealDay i fuck all cereal

BILY JOEL ROCKS MY HEART AND SOOTHES MY SOUL - FINAL ANSWER REGIS - AS I LAY DYING

as a guy who developed an autoimmune response to comedy as a result of being "Roasted" for my Ice man tattoo, ive much to say of April FOols

wait i fucked that up. its suppose to be "good cheers to my friends, and this Year - best luck and thank you" and then i raise my botle

foudn some excellent Ass Shirts in a big red bag behind the hospital. i am replacing my entire wardrobe of tuxedos and zoot suits,with these

it's not good for the dilbert guy to come on here and say hes going to Bull Breed my wife with his Superior Spunk. i dont care if hes 200 iq

reviewed obama inauguration speech. not ONE mention of "varmints" #ProVarmintPres?? #getUmOut

Jack Ass: Arguably, in many ways, a "Two-fer" could conceivably be worse than a "One-fer" ME: I'd will not even dignify that with a response

what do I model, you ask? i model for those gag golf trophies that are given to bad players by coworkers as a joke. guy with twisted up club

im out here in the yard trying to clean up my turds with a hair brush

MOSQUITO cannot breed inside of faucet if it is running constantly... use this infor wisley

GUess who just renewed his subscription to Newsweek. this guy! (cue blurry stock footage of an unidentified fat old man spitting into a cup)

having a vision of dying completely alone and waking up in a cold sweat to post a Scathing review of a futurama episode i watched 14 yrs ago

it pains me to announce that as of april 5th, 2018, The Economist has severed ties with "Da Ass Fucka"

are you having a crap of me mate?? Are you, having a crap of me mate

aangry bird's.. a Corrupted brand. keep far away

puutting shit on my dating profile like "i will never lie to someone who's nice to me" and "i wont fuck you if you don't enjoy Movies"

i command my exwife to pour gunpowder into my pipe as i grip it between my clenched teeth and read money magazine

(in "not knowing what chickens coming home to roost means" voice) looks like the chickens have come home to roost,

Too Fat For College

one more. good night http://t.co/BaZQ2mC5Do

worst part of being my masseuse is having to suffer a 5 minute monologue before hand about how i think your job is actually extremely normal

well i was going to climb mount everest but this yelp review says theres a nude man at the summit swinging chains around and yelling "fuck u

adult man who must frequently be burped like an infant or else he will die

the numa numa man just bougt a $70million house and im here at the library trying to photocopy a fruit roll up

I;ve looked at the facts. Hell im looking at the facts right now.

but enough about my dick. today, I would like to talk to all of you about the Toilet.

#CancelColbert gangstalking me, collecting my piss, laughing it up with his fucked up buddies when I ask where my piss went, carrying on,

i think it would be fucking stupid to be a fat ass caterpillar and have your entire body be made out of weak points

i think that turning myself Gay in the summer of 2013 would really impress my overseas investors

a lot of people tripping over themselves trying to Speak on my ass. just an observation ive noticed

youtube.com sends albanian govnt. $70 for dancing dog vido. albania best country. fuck all othter dancing dog video #ubertwitter

weverything i say is blocked out by falcons screaming until i die of a coughing fit #worstpickuplines

is the thanksgiving day parade canon. are we to believe that garfield would allow himself to float around and be yanked around with strings

do they make those cones that dogs wear after surgery for people? ?? i need to stop spitting on my dick

My lawyer has advised me that I should power the box off instead of dealing with hipster comments and trash insults on this sacred holiday.